* * * * *
THE MAN WE SHOULD LIKE TO SEND TO A SEANCE.--The man who knows how to
hit the happy medium.
* * * * *
APPROPRIATE _LOCALE_ FOR THE DAIRY SHOW.--Chalk Farm.
* * * * *
A TIDY DROP.--A glass of spirits, _neat_.
* * * * *
[Illustration: LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT TO BE
_Designed by Mr. Punch's Special Processionist_]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ANOTHER SUGGESTION FOR THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW AS IT OUGHT
TO BE]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "'Nuts for the monkeys, sir? Buy a bag o' nuts for the
monkeys!"
"I'm not going to the Zoo."
"Ah, well, sir, have some to take home to the children!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HYDE PARK, MAY 1
_Country Cousin._ "What is the meaning of this, policeman?"
_Constable._ "Labour day, miss."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Boy_ (_to Cabby with somewhat shadowy horse_). "Look
'ere, guv'nor, you'd better tie a knot in 'is tail afore 'e gets wet, or
'e might slip through 'is collar!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Indignant Cabby._ "Shockin' bad 'orse, 'ave I? And wot's
this hextra tuppence for?--to buy a new 'un with, eh?"]
* * * * *
QUIDDITIES.--_For the Old Ladies._ A tea-party without scandal is like a
knife without a handle.
Words without deeds are like the husks without the seeds.
Features without grace are like a clock without a face.
A land without the laws is like a cat without her claws.
Life without cheer is like a cellar without beer.
A master without a cane is like a rider without the rein.
Marriage without means is like a horse without his beans.
A man without a wife is like a fork without a knife.
A quarrel without fighting is like thunder without lightning.
* * * * *