(_From "The City Man's Vade Mecum"_)
_Promoter._ Are you a gentleman of blameless reputation?
_Candidate._ Certainly, and I share that reputation with a dozen
generations of ancestors.
_Promoter._ And no doubt you are the soul of honour?
_Candidate._ That is my belief--a belief shared by all my friends and
acquaintances.
_Promoter._ And I think, before taking up finance, you have devoted a
long life to the service of your country?
_Candidate._ That is so. My career has been rewarded by all kinds of
honours.
_Promoter._ And there is no particular reason why you should dabble in
Stock Exchange matters?
_Candidate._ None that I know of--save, perhaps, to serve a friend.
_Promoter._ Now, be very careful. Do you know anything whatever about
the business it is proposed you should superintend?
_Candidate._ Nothing whatever. I know nothing absolutely about business.
_Promoter._ Then I have much pleasure in informing you that you have
been unanimously elected a member of the board of management!
[_Scene closes in until the public demands further information._
* * * * *
[Illustration: "_Perfeck Lidy_" (_who has just been ejected_). "Well,
_next_ time I goes into a publickouse, I'll go somewhere where I'll be
_respected_!"]
* * * * *