_Monday._--_Carmen_ exceptionally excellent. Miss ZÉLIE DE LUSSAN,
gifted with a light, pleasant voice, sang admirably. Can't have "_Trop
de Zélie_." Mr. BARTON McGUCKIN, as _Don Jim-along-José_, did all that
can be done with this weak-minded soldier. No holes to be picked in Mr.
McG.'s performance, though there was a portion of his costume that would
have been the better for the attention of Signor SOANSO, the Spanish
tailor. Perhaps he is one of the "Renters" of Drury Lane. The strongest
and most novel situation was the entrance of a horse, which, like the
old woman who "lived on nothing but victuals and drink," "wouldn't be
quiet," and nearly gave poor _Carmen_ fits. If it had given Mr. BARTON
McGUCKIN fits--a pair of them--my previous allusion to the tailor would
have lacked a tangible basis of fact. Fancy _Carmen_ frightened by an
ordinary horse, not even a dray-horse, of which no Carmen would have
been afraid!
[Illustration: The Garden Scene from the Lane.]
_Tuesday and Friday.--Faust._ Signor RUNCIO, as _Faust_, up to the mark.
Military band of soldiers returned from the wars had apparently
conquered the drum of a British regiment. Signor ABRAMOFF (good as
_Mephistopheles_) showed his generous disposition by sharing his red
light with _Martha_ when he was talking to her.
_Wednesday.--Romeo and Juliet_, repetition of last week when the season
commenced with GONOUD'S masterpiece. Scenery tested the resources of
some of the greatest Drury Lane successes. The pantomime in the
ball-room was particularly excellent and noticeable.
_Thursday.--Mignon_, represented by charming Miss MOODY. Supported by
the dullest of _Lotharios_, Mr. F. H. CELLI. _Wilhelm_ played by a very
small tenor--in fact one who looked like a CHILD. The cast good all
round, and a crowded house enthusiastic. One of the best revivals of the
season.
_Saturday._--WALLACE'S _Lurline_ in the evening, after _Carmen_ in the
morning. "Troubador" just as enchanting as he was twenty years ago. "The
silver river," too, "flows on" as sweetly as ever. Good house testifies
to the love we all have for home-made music. On the whole a satisfactory
week from every point of view. So far--all's well.
* * * * *
"A SOCIETY FOR THE STUDY OF INEBRIETY."
(_Notes by Mr. Punch's Own Reporter._)
[Illustration]
ON the last occasion of the Meeting of the above Society a most
interesting paper was read by Professor JAMES JAMBES, F.R.Z.S.,
describing a series of experiments to which, in the cause of Science, he
had recently submitted himself. Commencing by comparatively small
quantities of alcoholic stimulant, he gradually increased the doses
until he reached a maximum of three bottles of Brandy and one of Green
Chartreuse _per diem_, abandoning all other work during the period
embraced by the experiments. After a fortnight of patient research he
was rewarded by the discovery in his immediate neighbourhood of an
abundance of blackbeetles, which he was unable to refer to any known
species of _Orthoptera_. These were succeeded by reptiles and beasts of
various kinds and colours, specimens of which, owing to their
evasiveness, he much regretted to have been unsuccessful in securing.
After increasing the dose to two bottles daily, he was able to detect
the presence of rodents in large quantities. Subsequently these
creatures assumed the most surprising shapes, while their colouring was
frequently gorgeous in the extreme. He had made some brandy-and-water
sketches of the most remarkable--though he had to apologise for the
drawing being less accurate and clear than he could have wished, as the
conditions were generally unfavourable for scientific observation.
Still, they afforded a very fair idea of the principal phenomena which
he had met. (_Cheers._) The Professor, in concluding, remarked that he
himself had never been a Materialist, and that, after the experiences
that attended the addition of the third bottle of brandy and the Green
Chartreuse to his diurnal allowance, he could only confess that, in the
words of the Poet, there were more--many more--things in heaven and
earth than had been dreamed of in _his_ philosophy. Some of the imps,
for instance, that he had noticed on the foot of his bed, he should
never forget. He must ask indulgence for any short-comings both in the
manner and matter of his contribution, on the ground that he was still
suffering from severe indisposition, in consequence of the ardour with
which his researches had been pursued. He felt that he was still only on
the threshold, but he was fascinated by the glimpses he had already
obtained of the strange and wonderful things with which the study of
Advanced Inebriety would make the humblest of us increasingly familiar.
(_Great cheering._)
The reading of the paper was followed by a discussion, in which Dr.
LOSCHEN said, that he was in a position from his own experience to
corroborate most of the statements in the very interesting account to
which they had just listened. He thought the learned Professor had, if
anything, rather underrated the dimensions of some of the snakes. He
could see a particularly fine specimen at that moment under the
Chairman's table, and would postpone any further remarks he was about to
make.
Professor SQUIFFIE said he had not as yet brought his experiments so far
as the last speakers. He was not a Naturalist himself. His line was
Optics. He described some interesting cases of Double Refraction, Mock
Suns, and Lunar Rainbows, that had come under his notice, before sitting
down with some suddenness on the floor.
Mr. STAGGERS, F.H.S., R.C.V.S., said that most of his time had been
devoted to the study of Seismatics. It was a fact not generally known
that "earth tremors" were of almost nightly occurrence after eleven P.M.
Some persons refused to believe that the world went round the sun, but
he had seen it do so several times in the course of a single minute.
Mr. ORRERS wished to know whether any member present had formed any
theory respecting the fantastic attire, particularly in the matter of
head-dresses, affected by the _fauna_ encountered in the more advanced
stages of Inebriety. Why, for example, should kangaroos, especially in
Piccadilly, present themselves in the bonnets usually worn by Salvation
lasses? And again, what natural affinity was there between the common
rabbit and a fez cap? He asked the question because it had been upon his
mind a good deal of late.
Mr. D. T. JUMPER said he merely desired to make one remark with regard
to the pink rhinoceros, which Professor JAMES--or, if he might take the
liberty of so describing him, "dear old JEM JAMBES"--had mentioned as
having found in his bath. Speaking personally, he had never come across
the pink variety of these interesting pachyderms. He had seen them
green, or striped,--but not pink. Was it not just possible that his
distinguished and excellent friend had been misled by some deficiency in
his eyesight or the light on this occasion? With regard to imps, both
blue and spotted, he could only say----but he was compelled to stop
here, as he had barely time to catch the last train to his Retreat.
Mr. BOOSER said he wasn't scientific fler, like some other flers,
still he flattered himself he was fler that knew as much about Inebriety
as most flers, and if there was any fler there liked doubt his word,
give him the lie--they understood what give him the lie meant--he
repeated--give him the lie, why, what he wanted to know was, why didn't
they have courage of their opinions? They knew where find him, and if
they didn't--_he_ knew where find them. (_Uproar._)
[Illustration]
The Meeting then broke up in some confusion, as the Chairman, having
removed his boots during the proceedings, was unable to propose the
customary vote of thanks to Professor JAMBES, who left the hall in a
state of considerable excitement in consequence.
* * * * *
The Art Kaleidoscope may undoubtedly be found at 160, New Bond Street,
where the Messrs. DOWDESWELLS are everlastingly giving it a turn. Before
you have time to get tired of one show, the turn is made, and another
reigns in its place. Yesterday it was Royal Berkshire, to-day it is
pictures principally of the French School. There are some fine works by
COROT, which, however, did not justify a weak-minded critic in calling
the show "the Corotid Art-ery." Also examples of MONTICELLI, SEGANTINI
the Italian, DAUBIGNY, TROYON, MUHRMAN, and other notable painters.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE ONLY REMEDY.
_Home Sec._ "OH, DEAR! OH, DEAR! WHY LEAVE IT TO ME!"
_Mr. P. (sympathetically)._ "WHY, INDEED? BUT I DON'T SEE ANY HELP FOR
IT TILL WE GET A COURT OF CRIMINAL APPEAL."]
* * * * *