a profound silence. The grand vizier always standing before the
throne, began according to the order of papers in his hand to
make his report of affairs, which at that time were of very
little consequence. Nevertheless, the caliph could not but admire
how Abou Hassan acquitted himself in his exalted station without
the least hesitation or embarrassment, and decided well in all
matters, as his own good sense suggested. But before the grand
vizier had finished his report, Abou Hassan perceived the judge
of the police, whom he knew by sight, sitting in his place.
"Stop," said he, to the grand vizier, interrupting him; "I have
an order of consequence to give to the judge of the police." The
judge of the police perceiving that Abou Hassan looked at him,
and hearing his name mentioned, arose from his seat, and went
gravely to the foot of the throne, where he prostrated himself
with his face to the ground. "Judge of the police," said Abou
Hassan, "go immediately to such a quarter, where you will find a
mosque, seize the imaum and four old grey beards, give each of
the old men a hundred bastinadoes, and the imaum four hundred.
After that, mount them all five, clothed in rags, on camels, with
their faces to the tails, and lead them through the whole city,
with a crier before them, who shall proclaim with a loud voice,
'This is the punishment of all those who trouble their heads with
other people's affairs, make it their business to create
disturbances and misunderstandings in families in their
neighbourhood, and do them all the mischief in their power.' My
intention is also, that you enjoin them to leave that quarter,
and never to set foot in it more: and while your lieutenant is
conducting them through the town, return, and give me an account
of the execution of my orders." The judge of the police laid his
hand upon his head, to shew his obedience, and prostrating
himself a second time retired to execute the mandate.
The caliph was highly pleased at the firmness with which this
order was given, and perceived that Abou Hassan was resolved not
to lose the opportunity of punishing the imaum and the other four
old hypocrites of his quarter. In the mean time the grand vizier
went on with his report, and had just finished, when the judge of
the police came back from executing his commission. He approached
the throne with the usual ceremony, and said, "Commander of the
faithful, I found the imaum and his four companions in the
mosque, which your majesty pointed out; and as a proof that I
have punctually obeyed your commands, I have brought an
instrument signed by the principal inhabitants of the ward." At
the same time he pulled a paper out of his bosom, and presented
it to the pretended caliph.
Abou Hassan took the paper, and reading it over cautiously with
the names of the witnesses, who were all people he knew, said to
the judge of the police, smiling, "It is well; I am satisfied;
return to your seat." "These old hypocrites," said he to himself,
with an air of satisfaction "who thought fit to censure my
actions, and find fault with my entertaining honest people,
deserved this punishment." The caliph all the time penetrated his
thoughts, and felt inconceivable delight at his frolic.
Abou Hassan, then addressing himself to the grand vizier, said,
"Go to the high treasurer for a purse of a thousand pieces of
gold, and carry it to the mother of one Abou Hassan, who is known
by the name of the debauchee; she lives in the same quarter to
which I sent the judge of the police. Go, and return
immediately."
The grand vizier, after laying his hand upon his head, and
prostrating himself before the throne, went to the high
treasurer, who gave him the money, which he ordered a slave to
take, and to follow him to Abou Hassan's mother, to whom he gave
it, saying only, "The caliph makes you this present." She
received it with the greatest surprise imaginable.
During the grand vizier's absence, the judge of the police made
the usual report of his office, which lasted till the vizier
returned. As soon as he came into the council-chamber, and had
assured Abou Hassan that he had executed his orders, Mesrour, the
chief of the eunuchs, made a sign to the viziers, the emirs, and
other officers, that the council was over, and that they might
all retire; which they did, by making the same prostration at the
foot of the throne as when they entered.
Abou Hassan descended from the caliph's throne, and Mesrour went
before him, to shew him the way into an inner apartment, where
there was a table spread; several eunuchs ran to tell the
musicians that the sham caliph was coming, when they immediately
began a concert of vocal and instrumental music, with which Abou
Hassan was so charmed and transported, that he could not tell
what to think of all he saw and heard. "If this is a dream," said
he, "it is a long one. But certainly," continued he, "it is no
dream; for I can see and feel, walk and hear, and argue
reasonably; whatever it is, I trust in God; I cannot but believe
that I am the commander of the faithful, for no other person
could live in this splendour. The honour and respect that has
been strewn me, and the obedience paid to my commands, are
sufficient proofs of my exaltation."
In short, Abou Hassan took it for granted that he was the
commander of the faithful; but was still more convinced of it
when he entered a magnificent and spacious hall, which was finely
painted with the brightest colours intermixed with gold. Seven
bands of female musicians, more beautiful than the others, were
placed round the hall, and as many gold chandeliers hung from the
ceiling, which was painted with blue and gold, intermixed with
wonderful effect. In the middle of the hall was spread a table
covered with massive gold plates and dishes, which scented the
apartment with the spices and amber wherewith the meat was
seasoned; and seven young and most beautiful ladies, dressed in
the richest habits of the most vivid colours, stood round this
table, each with a fan in her hand, to fan Abou Hassan when at
dinner.
If ever mortal was charmed, Abou Hassan was when he entered this
stately hall. At every step he took, he could not help stopping
to contemplate at leisure all the wonders that regaled his eyes,
and turned first to one side, and then to the other; which gave
the caliph, who viewed him with attention, very great pleasure.
At last he sat down at the table, and presently all the ladies
began to fan the new caliph. He looked first at one, then at
another, and admired the grace with which they acquitted
themselves. He told them with a smile, that he believed one of
them was enough to give him all the air he wanted, and would have
six of the ladies sit at table with him, three on his right hand,
and three on his left; and he placed them so, that as the table
was round, which way soever he turned, his eyes might be saluted
with agreeable objects.
The six ladies obeyed; and Abou Hassan taking notice, that out of
respect they did not eat, helped them himself, and invited them
to eat in the most pressing and obliging terms. Afterwards he
asked their names, which they told him were Alabaster Neck, Coral
Lips, Moon Face, Sunshine, Eye's Delight, Heart's Delight, and
she who fanned him was Sugar Cane. The many soft things he said
upon their names shewed him to be a man of sprightly wit, and it
is not to be conceived how much it increased the esteem which the
caliph (who saw every thing) had already conceived for him.
When the ladies observed that Abou Hassan had done eating, one of
them said to the eunuchs who waited, "The commander of the
faithful will go into the hall where the dessert is laid; bring
some water;" upon which they all rose from the table, and taking
from the eunuch, one a gold basin, another an ewer of the same
metal, and a third a towel, kneeled before Abou Hassan, and
presented them to him to wash his hands. As soon as he had done,
he got up, and after an eunuch had opened the door, went,
preceded by Mesrour, who never left him, into another hall, as
large as the former, adorned with paintings by the best masters,
and furnished with gold and silver vessels, carpets, and other
rich furniture. There seven different bands of music began a
concert as soon as Abou Hassan appeared. In this hall there were
seven large lustres, a table in the middle covered with dried
sweetmeats, the choicest and most exquisite fruits of the season,
raised in pyramids, in seven gold basins; and seven ladies more
beautiful than the others standing round it, each with a fan in
her hand.
These new objects raised still greater admiration in Abou Hassan;
who, after he had made a full stop, and given the most sensible
marks of surprise and astonishment, went directly to the table,
where sitting down, he gazed a considerable time at the seven
ladies, with an embarrassment that plainly shewed he knew not to
which to give the preference. At last he ordered them all to lay
aside their fans and sit down, and eat with him, telling them
that it was not so hot, but he could spare them that trouble.
When the ladies were all placed about him, the first thing he did
was to ask their names, which were different from the other
seven, and expressed some perfection of mind or body, which
distinguished them from one another: upon which he took an
opportunity, when he presented them with fruit, &c., to say
something gallant. "Eat this fig for my sake," said he to Chain
of Hearts, who sat on his right hand; "and render the fetters,
with which you loaded me the first moment I saw you, more
supportable." Then, presenting a bunch of grapes to Soul's
Torment, "Take this cluster of grapes," said he, "on condition
you instantly abate the torments which I suffer for your sake;"
and so on to the rest. By these sallies Abou Hassan more and more
amused the caliph, who was delighted with his words and actions,
and pleased to think he had found in him a man who diverted him
so agreeably.
After Abou Hassan had tasted all the fruits in the basin, he got
up and followed Mesrour into a third hall, much more
magnificently furnished than the other two; where he was received
by the same number of musicians and ladies, who stood round a
table covered with all manner of wet sweetmeats. After he had
looked about him with new wonder, he advanced to the table, the
music playing all the time till he sat down. The seven ladies, by
his order, sat down with him, helped themselves, as he desired,
to what they liked best; and he afterwards informed himself of
their names, which pleased him as much as the others had done,
and led him to say as many soft things to them, to the great
diversion of the caliph, who lost not a word.
By this time the day beginning to close, Abou Hassan was
conducted into a fourth hall, much more superb and magnificently
furnished, lighted with wax in seven gold lustres, which gave a
splendid light. Abou Hassan found the same number of musicians
here as he had done in the three other halls, performing in
concert in the most agreeable manner, and seeming to inspire
greater joy; and he saw as many ladies standing round a table
covered with seven gold basins filled with cakes, dried
sweetmeats, and all such relishes as were calculated to promote
drinking. There he saw, which he had not observed in any of the
other halls, a sideboard set out with seven large silver flagons
full of the choicest wines, and by them seven crystal glasses of
the finest workmanship.
Hitherto, in the three first halls, Abou Hassan had drunk nothing but
water, according to the custom observed at Bagdad, from the highest to
the lowest and at the caliph's court, never to drink wine till the
evening; all who transgress this rule being accounted debauchees, who
dare not shew themselves in the day-time. This custom is the more
laudable, as it requires a clear head to apply to business in the
course of the day; and as no wine is drunk till evening, no drunken
people are seen in the streets in open day creating disturbance in the
city.
As soon as Abou Hassan entered the fourth hall, he went to the
table, sat down, and was a long time in a kind of ecstasy at the
sight of the seven ladies who surrounded him, and were much more
beautiful than any he had beheld in the other halls. He was very
desirous to know their names; but as the music played so loud,
and particularly the tambour, that he could not hear them speak,
he clapped his hands for the musicians to cease, when a profound
silence ensued. Taking by the hand the lady who stood on the
right next to him, he made her sit down by him, and presenting
her with a cake, asked her name. "Commander of the faithful,"
said the lady, "I am called Cluster of Pearls." "No name,"
replied Abou Hassan, "could have more properly expressed your
worth; and indeed your teeth exceed the finest pearls. Cluster of
Pearls," added he, "since that is your name, oblige me with a
glass of wine from your fair hand." The lady went to the
sideboard and brought him a glass of wine, which she presented to
him with a pleasant air. Abou Hassan took the glass with a smile,
and looking passionately at her, said, "Cluster of Pearls, I
drink your health; I desire you to fill out as much for yourself,
and pledge me." She ran to the sideboard, and returned with a
glass in her hand; but before she drank, she sung a song, which
charmed him as much by the sweetness of her voice as by its
novelty.
After Abou Hassan had drunk, he made another lady sit down by
him, and presenting her with what she chose in the basins, asked
her name, which she told him was Morning Star. "Your bright
eyes," said he, "shine with greater lustre than that star whose
name you bear. Do me the pleasure to bring me some wine," which
she did with the best grace in the world. Then turning to the
third lady, whose name was Day-light, he ordered her to do the
same, and so on to the seventh, to the extreme satisfaction of
the caliph.
When they had all filled him a glass round, Cluster of Pearls,
whom he had just addressed, went to the sideboard, poured out a
glass of wine, and putting in a pinch of the same powder the
caliph had used the night before, presented it to Abou Hassan;
"Commander of the faithful," said she, "I beg of your majesty to
take this glass of wine, and before you drink it, do me the
favour to hear a song I have composed to-day, and which I flatter
myself will not displease you. I never sung it before." "With all
my heart," said Abou Hassan, taking the glass, "and, as commander
of the faithful, I command you to sing it; for I am persuaded
that so beautiful a lady cannot compose a song which does not
abound with wit and pleasantry." The lady took a lute, and tuning
it to her voice, sung with so much justness, grace, and
expression, that Abou Hassan was in perfect ecstasy all the time,
and was so much delighted, that he ordered her to sing it again,
and was as much charmed with it as at first.
When the lady had concluded, Abou Hassan drank off his glass, and
turned his head towards her to give her those praises which he
thought she merited, but was prevented by the opiate, which
operated so suddenly, that his mouth was instantly wide open, and
his eyes close shut, and dropping his head on the cushions, he
slept as profoundly as the day before when the caliph had given
him the powder. One of the ladies stood ready to catch the glass,
which fell out of his hand; and then the caliph, who enjoyed
greater satisfaction in this scene than he had promised himself,
and was all along a spectator of what had passed, came into the
hall to them, overjoyed at the success of his plan. He ordered
Abou Hassan to be dressed in his own clothes, and carried back to
his house by the slave who had brought him, charging him to lay
him on a sofa in the same room, without making any noise, and to
leave the door open when he came away.
The slave took Abou Hassan upon his shoulders, carried him home
by a back door of the palace, placed him in his own house as he
was ordered, and returned with speed, to acquaint the caliph.
"Well," said the caliph, "Abou Hassan wished only to be caliph
for one day, to punish the imaum of the mosque of his quarter,
and the four old men who had displeased him: I have procured him
the means of doing this, and he ought to be content."
In the mean time, Abou Hassan, who was laid upon his sofa by the
slave, slept till very late the next morning. When the powder was
worked off, he awoke, opened his eyes, and finding himself at
home, was in the utmost surprise. "Cluster of Pearls! Morning
Star! Coral Lips! Moon Face!" cried he, calling the ladies of the
palace by their names, as he remembered them; "where are you?
come hither."
Abou Hassan called so loud, that his mother, who was in her own
apartment, heard him, and running to him upon the noise he made,
said "What ails you, son? what has happened to you?" At these
words Abou Hassan lifted up his head, and looking haughtily at
his mother, said, "Good woman! who is it you call son?" "Why
you," answered his mother very mildly; "are not you Abou Hassan
my son? It is strange that you have forgotten yourself so soon."
"I your son! old bull!" replied Abou Hassan; "you are a liar, and
know not what you say! I am not Abou Hassan, I tell you, but the
commander of the faithful!"
"Hold your tongue, son," answered the mother "one would think you
are a fool, to hear you talk thus." "You are an old fool
yourself," replied Abou Hassan; "I tell you once more I am the
commander of the faithful, and God's vicar on earth!" "Ah!
child," cried the mother, "is it possible that I should hear you
utter such words that shew you are distracted! What evil genius
possesses you, to make you talk at this rate? God bless you, and
preserve you from the power of Satan. You are my son Abou Hassan,
and I am your mother."
After she had used all the arguments she could think of to bring
him to himself, and to shew how great an error he was in, she
said, "Do not you see that the room you are now in is your own,
and is not like a chamber in a palace fit for the commander of
the believers? and that you have never left it since you were
born, but lived quietly at home with me. Think seriously of what
I say, and do not fancy things that are not, nor ever can be.
Once more, my son, think seriously of it."
Abou Hassan heard all these remonstrances of his mother very
patiently, holding down his eyes, and clapping his hands under
his chin, like a man recollecting himself, to examine the truth
of what he saw and heard. At last, he said to his mother, just as
if he was awaking out of a deep sleep, and with his hand in the
same posture, "I believe you are right, methinks I am Abou
Hassan, you are my mother, and I am in my own room." Then looking
at her again, and at every object before him, he added, "I am
Abou Hassan, there is no doubt of it, and I cannot comprehend how
this fancy came into my head."
The mother really believed that her son was cured of the disorder
of his mind, which she ascribed to a dream, began to laugh with
him, and ask him questions about it; when suddenly he started up,
and looking crossly at his mother, said, "Old sorceress, you know
not what you say. I am not your son, nor you my mother. You
deceive yourself and would deceive me. I tell you I am the
commander of the faithful, and you shall never persuade me to the
contrary!" "For heaven's sake, son," said the mother, "let us
leave off this discourse; recommend yourself to God, for fear
some misfortune should happen to us; let us talk of something
else. I will tell you what happened yesterday in our quarter to
the imaum of the mosque, and the four scheiks our neighbours: the
judge of the police came and seized them, and gave each of them I
know not how many strokes with a bastinado, while a crier
proclaimed, 'That such was the punishment of all those who
troubled themselves about other people's business, and employed
themselves in setting their neighbours at variance:' he
afterwards led them through all the streets, and ordered them
never to come into our quarter again." Abou Hassan's mother
little thought her son had any share in this adventure, and
therefore had turned the discourse on purpose to put him out of
the conceit of being the commander of the faithful; but instead
of effacing that idea, she recalled it, and impressed the more
deeply in his mind, that it was not imaginary but real.
Abou Hassan no sooner heard this relation, but he cried out, "I
am neither thy son, nor Abou Hassan, but certainly the commander
of the believers. I cannot doubt after what you have told me.
Know then that it was by my order the imaum and the four scheiks
were punished, and I tell you I am certainly the commander of the
faithful: therefore say no more of its being a dream. I was not
asleep, but as much awake as I am now. You do me much pleasure to
confirm what the judge of the police told me he had executed
punctually according to my order; I am overjoyed that the imaum
and the four scheiks, those great hypocrites, were so chastised,
and I should be glad to know how I came here. God be praised for
all things! I am certainly commander of the faithful, and all thy
arguments shall not convince me of the contrary."
The mother, who could not imagine why her son so strenuously and
positively maintained himself to be caliph, no longer doubted but
that he had lost his senses, when she found he insisted so much
on a thing that was so incredible; and in this thought said, "I
pray God, son, to have mercy upon you! Pray do not talk so madly.
Beseech God to forgive you, and give you grace to talk more
reasonably. What would the world say to hear you rave in this
manner? Do you not know that 'walls have ears?'"
These remonstrances only enraged Abou Hassan the more; and he was
so provoked at his mother, that he said, "Old woman, I have
desired you once already to hold your tongue. If you do not, I
shall rise and give you cause to repent all your lifetime. I am
the caliph and the commander of the believers; and you ought to
credit me when I say so."
The good woman supposing that he was more distracted than ever,
abandoned herself to tears, and beating her face and breast,
expressed the utmost grief and astonishment to see her son in
such a state. Abou Hassan, instead of being appeased or moved by
his mother's tears, lost all the respect due from a son to his
mother. Getting up hastily, and laying hold of a switch, he ran
to his mother in great fury, and in a threatening manner that
would have frightened any one but a mother so partial to him,
said, "Tell me directly, wicked woman, who I am." "I do not
believe, son," replied she, looking at him tenderly, and without
fear, "that you are so abandoned by God as not to know your
mother, who brought you into the world, and to mistake yourself.
You are indeed my son Abou Hassan, and are much in the wrong to
arrogate to yourself the title which belongs only to our
sovereign lord the caliph Haroon al Rusheed, especially after the
noble and generous present the monarch made us yesterday. I
forgot to tell you, that the grand vizier Jaaffier came to me
yesterday, and putting a purse of a thousand pieces of gold into
my hands, bade me pray for the commander of the faithful, who had
sent me that present; and does not this liberality concern you
more than me, who have but a short time to live?"
At these words Abou Hassan grew quite mad. The circumstance of
the caliph's liberality persuaded him more than ever that he was
caliph, remembering that he had sent the vizier. "Well, old hag,"
cried he, "will you be convinced when I tell you that I sent you
those thousand pieces of gold by my grand vizier Jaaffier, who
obeyed my commands, as I was commander of the faithful? But
instead of believing me, you endeavour to distract me by your
contradictions, and maintain with obstinacy that I am your son;
but you shall not go long unpunished." After these words, he was
so unnatural, in the height of his frenzy, as to beat her cruelly
with his cane.
The poor mother, who could not have thought that her son would
have come so soon from words to blows, called out for help so
loud, that the neighbours ran in to her assistance. Abou Hassan
continued to beat her, at every stroke asking her if he was the
commander of the faithful? to which she always answered tenderly,
that he was her son.
By the time the neighbours came in Abou Hassan's rage began to
abate. The first who entered the room got between him and his
mother, and taking the switch out of his hand, said to him, "What
are you doing, Abou Hassan? have you lost all fear of God and
your reason? Did ever a son so well brought up as you dare to
strike his mother? are you not ashamed so to treat yours, who
loves you so tenderly?" Abou Hassan, still full of fury, looked
at him who spoke without returning an answer; and then staring on
all the rest of his neighbours who had followed, said, "Who is
that Abou Hassan you speak of? Is it me you call by that name?"