"It is somewhat remarkable," observe the journals of the past week, "that
the medical division of this scientific meeting has not contributed one
single paper this year in furtherance of its object, although the
communications from that section have usually been of a highly important
character."
The journals may think it somewhat remarkable--we do not at all; for here,
as in every other event of the day, a great deal depends upon being
"behind the curtain;" and as the greater portion of our life is passed in
that locality, we are always to be relied upon for authenticity in our
statements. The plain truth is, that the papers were inadvertently lost,
and rather than lead to some unpleasant disclosures, in which the eminent
professor to whom they were entrusted would have been deeply implicated,
it was thought best to say nothing about them. By chance they fell into
the hands of the manager of one of our perambulating theatres, who was
toiling his way from the west of England to Egham races, and having
deposited them in his portable green-room, under the especial custody of
the clown, the doctor, and the overbearing parochial authority, he duly
remitted them to our office. We have been too happy in giving them a place
in our columns, feeling an honest pride in thus taking the lead of the
chief scientific publications of the day. It will be seen that they are
drawn up as a report, all ready for publication, according to the usual
custom of such proceedings, where every one knows beforehand what they are
to dispute or agree with.
Dr. Splitnerve communicated a remarkable case of Animal Magnetism:--Eugene
Doldrum, aged 21, a young man of bilious and interesting temperament,
having been mesmerized, was rendered so keenly magnetic, as to give rise
to a most remarkable train of phenomena. On being seated upon a
music-stool, he immediately becomes an animated compass, and turns round
to the north. Knives and forks at dinner invariably fly towards him, and
he is not able to go through any of the squares, in consequence of being
attracted firmly to the iron railings. As most of the experiments took
place at the North London Hospital, Euston-square was his chief point of
attraction, and when he was removed, it was always found necessary to
break off the railings and take them away with him. This accounted for the
decrepit condition of the _fleur de lys_ that surround the inclosure,
which was not, as generally supposed, the work of the university pupils
residing in Gower-place. Perfect insensibility to pain supervened at the
same time, and his friends took advantage of this circumstance to send
him, by way of delicate compliment, to a lying-in lady, in the style of a
pedestrian pin-cushion, his cheeks being stuck full of minikin pins, on
the right side, forming the words "Health to the Babe," and on the left,
"Happiness to the Mother."
Dr. Mortar read a talented paper on the cure of strabismus, or squinting,
by dividing the muscles of the eye. The patient, a working man, squinted
so terribly, that his eyes almost got into one another's sockets; and at
times he was only able to see by looking down the inside of his nose and
out at the nostrils. The operation was performed six weeks ago, when, on
cutting through the muscles, its effects were instantly visible: both the
eyes immediately diverging to the extreme outer angles of their respective
orbits.
Dr. Sharpeye inquired if the man did not find the present state of his
vision still very perplexing.
Dr. Mortar replied, that so far from injuring his sight, it had proved
highly beneficial, as the patient had procured a very excellent situation
in the new police, and received a double salary, from the power he
possessed of keeping an eye upon both sides of the road at the same time.
[Illustration: WILL YOU LOOK THIS WAY, IF YOU PLEASE?]
An elaborate and highly scientific treatise was then read by Dr. Sexton,
upon a disease which had been very prevalent in town during the spring,
and had been usually termed the influenza. He defined it as a disease of
convenience, depending upon various exciting causes acting upon the mind.
For instance:--
Mrs. A----, a lady residing in Belgrave-square, was on the eve of giving a
large party, when, upon hearing that Mr. A---- had made an unlucky
speculation in the funds, the whole family were seized with influenza so
violently, that they were compelled to postpone the reunion, and live upon
the provided supper for a fortnight afterwards.
Miss B---- was a singer at one of our large theatres, and had a part
assigned to her in a new opera. Not liking it, she worried herself into an
access of influenza, which unluckily seized her the first night the opera
was to have been played.
But the most marked case was that of Mr. C----, a clerk in a city house of
business, who was attacked and cured within three days. It appeared that
he had been dining that afternoon with some friends, who were going to
Greenwich fair the next day, and on arriving at home, was taken ill with
influenza, so suddenly that he was obliged to despatch a note to that
effect to his employer, stating also his fear that he should be unable to
attend at his office on the morrow. Dr. Sexton said he was indebted for an
account of the progress of his disease to a young medical gentleman,
clinical clerk at a leading hospital, who lodged with the patient in
Bartholomew-close. The report had been drawn up for the _Lancet_, but Dr.
S. had procured it by great interest.
MAY 30, 1841, 11 P.M.--Present symptoms:--Complains of his
employer, and the bore of being obliged to be at the office next
morning. Has just eaten a piece of cold beef and pickles, with a
pint of stout. Pulse about 75, and considerable defluxion from the
nose, which he thinks produced by getting a piece of Cayenne pepper
in his eye. Swallowed a crumb, which brought on a violent fit of
coughing. Wishes to go to bed.
MAY 31, 9 A.M.--Has passed a tolerable night, but appears restless,
and unable to settle to anything. Thinks he could eat some broiled
ham if he had it; but not possessing any, has taken the following:
Rx--Infus. coffee lbj
Sacchari [symbol: dram]iij
Lactis Vaccæ [symbol: ounce]j
Ft. mistura, poculum mane sumendum.
A plaster ordered to be applied to the inside of the stomach,
consisting of potted bloater spread upon bread and butter.
Eleven, A.M.--Appears rather hotter since breakfast. Change of air
recommended, and Greenwich decided upon.
Half-past 11.--Complains of the draught and noise of the
second-class railway carriages, but is otherwise not worse. Thinks
he should like "a drain of half-and-half." Has blown his nose once
in the last quarter of an hour.
Two, P.M.--Since a light dinner of rump steaks and stout, a
considerable change has taken place. He appears labouring under
cerebral excitement and short pipes, and says he shall have a
regular beanish day, and go it similar to bricks. Calls the waiter
up to him in one of the booths, and has ordered "a glass of
cocktail with the chill off and a cinder in it."
Three, P.M.--Has sallied out into the fair, still much excited,
calling every female he meets "Susan," and pronouncing the s's with
a whistling accent. Expresses a desire to ride in the ships that go
round and round.
Half-past 3.--The motion of the ships has tended considerably to
relieve his stomach. Pulse slow and countenance pale, with a desire
for a glass of ale. Has entered a peepshow, and is now arguing with
the exhibitor upon the correctness of his view of the siege of "St.
Jane Daker!" which he maintains was a sea-port, and not a field
with a burning windmill, as represented in the view.
Eight, P.M.--After rambling vaguely about the fair all the
afternoon, he has decided upon taking a hot-air bath in Algar's
Crown and Anchor booth. Evidently delirious. Has put on a false
nose, and purchased a tear-coat rattle. Appears labouring under
violent spasmodic action of the muscles of his legs, as he dances
"Jim along Josey," when he sets to his partner in a country dance
of eighty couple.
Half-past 10, P.M.--Has just intimated that he does not see the use
of going home, as you can always go there when you can go nowhere
else. Is seated straddling across one of the tables, on which he is
beating time to the band with a hooky stick. Will not allow the
state of his pulse to be ascertained, but says we may feel his fist
if we like.
Eleven.--Considerable difficulty experienced in getting the patient
to the railroad, but we at last succeeded. After telling every one
in the carriage "that he wasn't afraid of any of them," he fell
into a deep stertorous sleep. On arriving at home, he got into bed
with his boots on, and passed a restless night, turning out twice
to drink water between one and four.
JUNE.--10, A.M.--Has just returned from his office, his employer
thinking him very unfit for work, and desiring him to lay up for a
day or two. Complains of being "jolly seedy," and thinks he shall
go to Greenwich again to get all right.
A thrilling paper upon the "Philosophy of death," was then read by
Professor Wynne Slow. After tracing the origin of that fatal attack, which
it appears the earliest nations were subject to, the learned author showed
profound research in bringing forward the various terms applied to the act
of dying by popular authors. Amongst the principal, he enumerated "turning
your toes up," "kicking the bucket," "putting up your spoon," "slipping
your wind," "booking your place," "breaking your bellows," "shutting up
your shop," and other phrases full of expression.
The last moments of remarkable characters were especially dwelt upon, in
connexion, more especially, with the drama, which gives us the best
examples, from its holding a mirror up to nature. It appeared that at
Astley's late amphitheatre, the dying men generally shuffled about a great
deal in the sawdust, fighting on their knees, and showing great
determination to the last, until life gave way; that at the Adelphi the
expiring character more frequently saw imaginary demons waiting for him,
and fell down, uttering "Off, fiends! I come to join you in your world of
flames!" and that clowns and pantaloons always gave up the ghost with
heart-rending screams and contortions of visage, as their deaths were
generally violent, from being sawn in half, having holes drilled in them
with enormous gimlets, or being shot out of cannon; but that, at the same
time, these deaths were not permanent.
* * * * *