THE QUEEN.--Well!
SIR ROBERT.--And that the landowners won't agree to.
THE QUEEN.--Well!
SIR ROBERT.--And, then, I can't keep my place a day.
THE QUEEN.--Then the majority of my subjects are to be rendered miserable
for the advantage of the few?
SIR ROBERT.--That's the principle of all good governments. Besides, cheap
bread would be no benefit to the masses, for wages would be lower.
THE QUEEN.--Do you really believe such _would_ be the case?
SIR ROBERT.--Am I regularly called in?
THE QUEEN.--You evade a direct answer, I see. Granting such to be _your
belief_, your friends and landowners would suffer no injury, for their
incomes would procure them as many luxuries.
SIR ROBERT.--Not if they were to live abroad, or patronise foreign
manufactures: and _should_ wages be higher, what would they say to me
after all the money they have expended in bri--I mean at the Carlton Club,
if I allow the value of their "dirty acres" to be reduced.
THE QUEEN.--Pray, what do you call such views?
SIR ROBERT.--Patriotism.
THE QUEEN.--Charity would be a better term, as that is said to begin at
home. How long were you in your last place?
SIR ROBERT.--Not half so long as I wished--for the sake of the country.
THE QUEEN.--Why did you leave?
SIR ROBERT.--Somebody said I was saucy--and somebody else said I was not
honest--and somebody else said I had better go.
THE QUEEN.--Who was the latter somebody?
SIR ROBERT.--My master.
THE QUEEN.--Your exposure of my late premier's faults, and your present
application for his situation, result from disinterestedness, of course?
SIR ROBERT.--Of course, madam.
THE QUEEN.--Then salary is not so much an object as a comfortable
situation.
SIR ROBERT.--I beg pardon; but I've been out of place ten years, and have
a small family to support. _Wages_ is, therefore, some sort of a
consideration.
THE QUEEN.--I don't quite like you.
SIR ROBERT (_glancing knowingly at the Queen_).--I don't think there is
any one that _you can_ have better.
THE QUEEN.--I'm afraid not.
SIR ROBERT.--Then, am I regularly called in?
THE QUEEN.--Yes, you can take your boxes to Downing-street.
[_Exeunt ambo_.
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