Baron Nilus. His Secretary. A Valet. Two Lackeys.
=Baron=--The prospects for a good crop are very promising. Just see how
nice the barley stands.
=Secretary=--Yes, that is quite true, your Grace; but that means that a
bushel of barley will not bring a higher price than five marks.
=Baron=--That makes no difference. The peasants always do better when the
times are good.
=Secretary=--I don't know how it is, my lord, the peasants always complain
and ask for seed grain whether the season is good or bad. When they have
anything they drink all the more. Here is an innkeeper in the
neighborhood by the name of Jakob Skomager who does much to make the
peasants poor. They say that he puts salt in the beer so that the more
they drink, the more they shall thirst.
=Baron=--We must get that fellow out of the way. But what is that lying
there in the road? Why, that's a dead man. One hears of nothing but
accidents. Run over there, one of you, and see what it is.
=A lackey=--That is Jeppe on the Hill, who has the shrewish wife. Wake up,
Jeppe. No, he wouldn't wake up if we pounded him and pulled him around
by the hair.
=Baron=--Just let him be, I would like to play a little trick on him. You
used to be quite inventive fellows, can you devise something now to
amuse me?
=Secretary=--It seems to me it would be clever if we tied a paper collar
around his neck or clipped his hair.
=The valet=--It seems to me that it would be even more clever if we daubed
his face with ink and stationed someone to see how his wife would
receive him when he came home in such a predicament.
=Baron=--That's all very well, but what will you wager that Erik can
devise something more clever than that? Give us your opinion, Erik!
=Erik, lackey=--It is my opinion that his clothes should all be taken off
and that he should be laid in my lord's best bed, and in the morning
when he awakes we should all act as though he were the lord of the
manor, so that he should not know who or where he was. And when we have
made him believe that he is the baron, we should make him as drunk again
as he now is and lay him, in his old clothes, on the same dung heap. If
this plan is carefully executed, it would have a strange effect and he
would make himself believe either that he had dreamed about such glories
or that he had really been in Paradise.
=Baron=--Erik, you are a great man and therefore you have only great
ideas. But now if he should wake up in the meantime?
=Erik=--I am very sure that he will not, my lord. Since the same Jeppe on
the Hill is one of the soundest sleepers in the whole district. Why,
they tried the other year to fasten a rocket to the back of his neck,
but even when the rocket was fired off he didn't wake up from his sleep.
=Baron=--Let us then proceed. Take him away immediately, clothe him in a
fine shirt and lay him in my best bed.
(Curtain.)
ACT II.
Scene 1.
Jeppe.
(Jeppe is represented lying in the Baron's bed, a gold embroidered
dressing gown on a chair; he awakes, rubs his eyes, looks around and
becomes frightened; rubs his eyes again, feels of his head and finds a
gold embroidered nightcap; he moistens his eyelids, rubs them again,
turns the nightcap around and examines it, looks at his fine shirt, at
the robe, at everything, with strange grimaces. Meanwhile soft music is
heard, at which Jeppe folds his hands and weeps; when the music stops he
begins to speak.)
But what is this? What sort of splendor is this and how have I come
here? Do I dream, or am I awake? No, I am quite awake. Where is my wife,
where are my children, where is my house, and where is Jeppe? Everything
is changed, myself, too. Ah, what can it be? What can it be? (He calls
softly and fearfully.) Nille! Nille! Nille! I believe that I have got
into Heaven, Nille, and that without deserving it. But, can it be me? It
seems to me it is; then again, it seems to me it isn't. When I feel of
my back, which is still sore from the blows I got, when I hear myself
speak, when I feel of my hollow tooth, it seems to me that it's me.
When, on the other hand, I look at my cap, my shirt, and on all the fine
things before me, and hear the beautiful music, I'll be hanged if I can
get it into my head that it's me. No, it isn't me. I am a scoundrel a
thousand times if it's me! But I wonder if I am dreaming. It doesn't
seem so. I'll try to pinch my arm; if it doesn't hurt, then I dream; if
it hurts, then I don't dream.--Yes, I felt it, I am awake; to be sure I
am awake; no one can deny that. Because if I were not awake I could
not--but how can I be awake when I stop to think? It cannot fail then
that I am Jeppe on the Hill; I certainly know that I am a poor peasant,
a serf, a rascal, a scoundrel, a hungry maggot, a poor worm! But how can
I at the same time be king and lord of the castle? No, it must be only a
dream. Therefore, it is best to have patience till I wake up. (The
music is again heard and Jeppe begins to cry.) Ah! But can a person hear
such things in his sleep? That is impossible! But if it is a dream, then
I wish that I may never wake up again, and if I am mad, then may I never
become sane; for I should sue the doctor who cured me and curse him who
woke me up. But I neither dream nor am mad, for I can remember my whole
life. I remember that my sainted father was Niels on the Hill, my
grandfather, Jeppe on the Hill, my wife's name is Nille, her switch,
Master Erik, my sons, Hans, Christopher and Niels. But see! Now I know:
it is the other life, it is paradise, it is heaven! I must have drunk
too much yesterday at Jakob Skomager's, died and immediately come to
heaven. Death cannot be so awful as they would make one believe, since I
didn't even feel it. Now, perhaps, Herr Jesper is standing this minute
in the pulpit making a funeral sermon over my body and saying: Such was
the end of Jeppe on the Hill; he lived like a soldier and died like a
soldier. Of course, one might question whether I died on land or sea,
since I went out of the world pretty well soaked. Ah, Jeppe, this is
something different from going four miles to town to buy soap, from
lying on straw and from getting whipped by your wife. Ah! To what bliss
have not your suffering and dark days been transformed? Ah! I must weep
from joy when I think that this has come to me through no merit of my
own. But one thing comes to my mind: I am so thirsty that my lips are
nearly parched. If I should wish myself alive again, it would be only
that I might get a mug of beer to quench my thirst; for what good does
all this glory do me when I must die again of thirst? I remember the
preacher has often said that one neither hungers nor thirsts in heaven
and further that one finds there all his deceased friends. But I am
nearly dying from thirst. I am also quite alone; I don't see a soul. I
ought to find my grandfather at least, who was such a decent person that
he never left a shilling of debt to his landlord. Of course, I know that
many people have lived just as decent lives as I have, why, then,
should I alone come to heaven? Therefore, it can't be heaven. But what
can it be? I am not asleep, I am not awake; I am not dead, I am not
alive; I am not crazy, I am not sane; I am Jeppe on the Hill, I am not
Jeppe on the Hill; I am poor, I am rich; I am a poor peasant, I am a
king. Ah!--Ah!--Ah! Help! Help! Help!
(At the great commotion several people come in who in the meantime have
stood by, watching to see how he would act.)
Scene 2.
Valet. A lackey. Jeppe.
=Valet=--I wish your lordship a hearty good morning! Here's a gown if your
lordship wishes to arise. Erik, fetch a towel and a wash basin.
=Jeppe=--Ah, my worshipful valet! I should be glad to arise, but I beg of
you that you do not hurt me.
=Valet=--The Lord deliver me from doing your lordship any harm!
=Jeppe=--Ah, before you kill me, will you not do me the favor to tell me
who I am?
=Valet=--Does not my lord know who he is?
=Jeppe=--Yesterday I was Jeppe on the Hill, but to-day--ah, I hardly know
what to say!
=Valet=--We are glad to see that your lordship is in such good humor
to-day, that you are pleased to jest; but heaven defend us, why does
your lordship weep?
=Jeppe=--I am not your lordship. I can make my oath that I am not; for so
far as I can remember I am Jeppe Nielsen on the Hill, one of the Baron's
peasants. If you will send for my wife you shall find it out; but don't
let her take Master Erik along.
=Erik, lackey=--This is strange. What can it be? Your lordship cannot be
awake, since you never used to jest in this way.
=Jeppe=--Whether I am awake or not I cannot say; but one thing I can say
and that is that I am one of the Baron's peasants who is called Jeppe on
the Hill, and I have never been either Baron or Count in my life.
=Valet=--Erik, what can that be? I am afraid that his lordship is
suffering from some strange disease.
=Erik=--I imagine that he is walking in his sleep, since it frequently
happens that people arise, dress, eat and drink in their sleep.
=Valet=--No, Erik, I perceive that his lordship is delirious. Go and fetch
a doctor immediately. Ah, your lordship, put all such thoughts away;
your lordship is frightening the whole house. Does your lordship not
know me?
=Jeppe=--I don't know myself; how can I then know you?
=Valet=--Ah, is it possible that I should hear such words from the lips of
my gracious lord, and see him in such a pitiable condition? Ah, our
unfortunate house, which must be plagued by such sorcery! Can my lord
not remember what he did yesterday when he was out on the hunt?
=Jeppe=--I have never been either hunter or poacher in my life; you know
that is work which may send you to prison! Never shall any soul be able
to prove that I have ever hunted a hare on the lord's estate!
=Valet=--Ah, gracious lord, I was with you on the hunt myself yesterday.
=Jeppe=--Yesterday I sat at Jakob Skomager's and drank up twelve pence
worth of whiskey. How could I then have been on a hunt?
=Valet=--Ah, I implore my gracious lord on my knees that he do not indulge
in such talk. Erik, were the doctors sent for?
=Erik=--Yes, they are coming soon.
=Valet=--Let us assist our lord in putting on his dressing gown. Perhaps
when he comes out in the fresh air it will be better. Does our lord wish
to have on his gown?
=Jeppe=--Most willingly. You may do with me what you like, if only you do
not take my life, for I am as innocent as an unborn babe.
Scene 3.
A valet. Erik. Jeppe. Two doctors.
=First Doctor=--We hear with great regret that your lordship is
indisposed.
=Valet=--Alas, yes, doctor; he is in a pitiful state.
=Second Doctor=--How is everything with you, my gracious lord?
=Jeppe=--Quite well! Except that I am rather thirsty after the whiskey
which I got at Jakob Skomager's yesterday. If you will only give me a
mug of beer and let me go, then they may hang you two doctors up for all
I care, because I don't need any medicine.
=First Doctor=--That is certainly a clear case of hallucinations.
=Second Doctor=--But the more violent the disease is the sooner he will
get over it. Let us feel our lordship's pulse. Quid tibi videtur, domine
frater?
=First Doctor=--I am not of that opinion. Such strange weaknesses must be
cured in another fashion. Our lordship has had an awful and gruesome
dream, which has brought the blood into such commotion and so confused
his brain that he imagines himself a peasant. We must try to divert him
with the things in which he finds the most pleasure; give him the wines
and foods which suit him best, and play for him his favorite pieces of
music.
(Lively music begins.)
=Valet=--Why, that is my lord's favorite piece.
=Jeppe=--Perhaps so. Do you always have such fun in this place?
=Valet=--As often as your lordship wishes; since it is you who gives us
our wages.
=Jeppe=--But it is strange that I cannot remember what I have done in the
past.
=First Doctor=--That is the result of the sickness, your lordship, that
one forgets everything that he has done before. I recollect that one of
my neighbors a few years ago became so delirious from strong drink that
he made himself believe for two days that he had no head.
=Jeppe=--I wish that Christopher, the bailiff, would get the same idea,
but he must have a sickness which is just opposite to this; since he
imagined that he has a big head, while he really has none at all, as one
can see from his decisions.
(They all laugh at this: Ha, ha, ha.)
=Second Doctor=--It is a pleasure to hear our lordship jest. But to come
back to the story again, that same person went all over town and asked
people if they had found his head, which he had lost, but he got well
again and is at this day sexton in Jutland.
=Jeppe=--He might be that, even if he had not found his wits again.
(All laugh: Ha, ha, ha.)
=First Doctor=--Does my colleague remember the story of what happened ten
years since to the man who imagined that his head was full of flies? He
could not get rid of the notion no matter how much one argued with him,
until a shrewd doctor cured him in this wise: He laid a plaster covered
with dead flies on his head, and after some time he pulled it off,
showed it to the patient, made him believe that they had been extracted
from his head, whereupon the patient became well again.
=Second Doctor=--There are innumerable examples of such illusions. I
remember also of having heard of one who made himself believe that his
nose was ten feet long and warned everyone whom he met not to come too
near to him.
=First Doctor=--That is what is the matter with our gracious lord. He
imagines that he is a poor peasant. But he must get rid of such
thoughts, then he will soon become well again.
=Jeppe=--But can it be possible that it is only imagination?
=First Doctor=--Certainly! Your lordship has heard from these stories what
imagination can do.
=Jeppe=--Am I not then Jeppe on the Hill?
=Second Doctor=--No, certainly not.
=Jeppe=--Is the wicked Nille not my wife?
=First Doctor=--By no means, since my lord is a widower.
=Jeppe=--Is it then nothing but imagination that she has a switch called
Master Erik?
=Second Doctor=--Purely imagination.
=Jeppe=--Is it then not true that I was to go to town yesterday to buy
soap?
=First Doctor=--No.
=Jeppe=--Nor yet, that I drank up all the money at Jakob Skomager's?
=Valet=--Why, my lord was with us on a hunt all day yesterday.
=Jeppe=--Nor yet that I am henpecked?
=Valet=--Why, your wife has been dead for many years.
=Jeppe=--Ah, I am beginning to understand my weakness. I will not think of
that peasant any longer, for I see that it is nothing but a dream and a
mistake. Isn't it strange though how a person can fall into such an
error?
=Valet=--Will it please your lordship to take a walk in the garden while
we prepare a little breakfast?
=Jeppe=--To be sure, but see that you are quick about it, for I am both
hungry and thirsty.
(Curtain.)
ACT III.
Scene 1.
Jeppe. Valet. Secretary.
(Jeppe comes in from the garden with his suite and a little table is
spread before him.)
=Jeppe=--Ha! Ha! I see the table is already set.
=Valet=--Yes, everything is ready whenever it shall please your lordship
to be seated.
(Jeppe seats himself. The others stand back of the chair and laugh at
his awkwardness when he reaches his hand into the dish, hiccoughs over
the table, and behaves very boorishly.)
=Valet=--Will my lord let us know what wine he wishes?
=Jeppe=--You know very well yourselves what wine I am used to drinking in
the morning.
=Valet=--It is Rhenish wine which his lordship is accustomed to drink. If
it is not to his lordship's taste he can have another kind.
=Jeppe=--It is pretty sour. You must put some mead in it to make it good,
for I like sweet things.
=Valet=--Here is some Canary sack, if my lord wishes to taste it.
=Jeppe=--That is good wine. Let's all drink together! (Every time he
drinks the trumpets blow.) Hey! Watch out, fellows! One more glass of
sack! Do you understand? Where did you get that ring that you have on
your finger?
=Secretary=--Your lordship gave it to me yourself.
=Jeppe=--I don't remember that. Give it back to me, I must have done that
while drunk. One doesn't give such rings away. I'll have to look into
this and see what other things you have received. Servants shall not
have more than board and wages! I swear that I do not remember of having
given you anything in particular; for why should I do it? That ring is
worth over a guinea. No, no, good fellows! Not so! You must not take
advantage of your master's weakness and drunkenness. When I am drunk I
am as likely as not to give my very trousers away; but when I have
become sober I take back my gifts again. Otherwise I should catch the
mischief from my wife, Nille. Hold, what am I saying? Now I am getting
into those foolish ideas again and don't remember who I am. Another
glass of sack. The same toast. (Trumpets blow again.) Listen to what I
say, fellows! After this, remember that when I give anything away in the
evening while drunk, you must give it back to me in the morning. When
servants get more money than they can spend they become proud and turn
up their noses at their masters. What are your wages?
=Secretary=--My lord has always given me two hundred a year.
=Jeppe=--You shall have the devil, not two hundred after this! What do you
do to earn two hundred? I myself must work like a beast and stand in the
granary from morning till evening and can hardly--See, now those peasant
notions are coming into my mind again! Give me another glass of wine.
(He drinks and the trumpets blow.) Two Rixdollars! Why that's simply to
skin your masters. Listen! Do you know what, you fellows! When I have
eaten I have a good mind to hang every other one on the estate. You must
know that I am not to be trifled with in money matters.
=Valet=--We will return everything that we have received from your
lordship.
=Jeppe=--Yes, yes! Your lordship! Your lordship! Compliments and words are
cheap in these times. You will flatter me with "your lordship" until you
get all my money and become "my lordship" in turn. The lips may say,
"Your lordship," but the heart says, "You fool." You're not saying what
you think, fellows! You servants are just like Abner who came and
greeted Roland with, "Hail to thee, my brother!" and at the same time
struck the dagger in his heart. Believe me, Jeppe is no fool.
(They all fall on their knees and sue for pardon.)
=Jeppe=--Just rise again, my lads, until I have done eating; after that I
will see how matters stand, and who deserves to be hanged. Now, I will
be merry.
Scene 2.
Jeppe. Valet. Overseer. Secretary.
=Jeppe=--Where is my overseer?
=Valet=--He is just outside.
=Jeppe=--Let him come in at once.
=Overseer= (enters dressed in a coat with silver buttons and a sash about
the waist)--Has my lord any commands?
=Jeppe=--None, except that you are to be hanged!
=Overseer=--I have done nothing wrong, my lord! Why should I be hanged?
=Jeppe=--Are you not the manager?
=Overseer=--Yes, I am, my lord.
=Jeppe=--And still you ask why you shall be hanged?
=Overseer=--You know I have served your lordship honestly and faithfully,
and been so diligent in my duties that your lordship has praised me
above your other servants.
=Jeppe=--Yes, to be sure you have taken good care of your office; one can
see that from your silver buttons,--what do you get a year?
=Overseer=--Fifty Rixdollars a year.
=Jeppe= (walks back and forth excitedly)--Half a hundred a year--yes, you
shall immediately be hanged.
=Overseer=--It could hardly be less, gracious lord, for a whole year's
hard work.
=Jeppe=--Just for that reason you shall be hanged, since you receive only
fifty Rixdollars! You have money for a silver buttoned coat, for lace
cuffs, a silk net for your hair, and still you get only fifty Rixdollars
per year! Is it not plain that you steal from me, poor man, or where
should it all come from?
=Overseer= (on his knees)--Ah, gracious lord, only spare me for the sake
of my poor wife and little children.
=Jeppe=--Have you many children?
=Overseer=--I have seven children living, my lord!
=Jeppe=--Ha, ha, seven living children? Away, hang him, secretary!
=Secretary=--Oh, gracious lord, I am no hangman!
=Jeppe=--What you are not, you may become; you look as though you were
equal to anything. When you have hanged him, I shall hang you afterwards
myself.
=Overseer=--Ah, gracious lord! Is there no pardon?
=Jeppe= (walks back and forth, sits down to take a drink and rises
again)--Half a hundred Rixdollars, wife and seven children. If no one
else will hang you I will do it myself. I know very well what sort of
fellows you are, you overseers; I know how you have treated me and other
poor peasants--Ah, now those cursed peasant notions are coming into my
head again. I mean to say I know the way you conduct yourselves so well
that I myself could be overseer if I had to. You get the cream of the
milk and the Baron gets--something else. I believe that if the world
lasts much longer overseers will become noblemen and noblemen,
overseers. When a peasant gives a little something to either you or your
wives, then when you come to your master the story is: that poor man is
willing and industrious enough, but various misfortunes have come on him
so he cannot pay; he has a bad piece of ground, his cattle have become
scabby, or something like that. With such talk the landlord must be
satisfied. Believe me, my good fellows, I don't let people lead me
around by the nose; since I myself am a peasant and the son of a
peasant--There, now that nonsense is coming into my mind again. I said I
myself am the son of a peasant, since Abraham and Eve, our first
parents, were peasants.
=Secretary= (kneels before him)--Ah, gracious lord, have pity on him for
his poor wife's sake, for otherwise, how will he be able to live and
support wife and children?
=Jeppe=--Who says they shall live? They can be hanged, too.
=Secretary=--Ah, my lord, she is such a fine looking woman.
=Jeppe=--Well, well, perhaps you are in love with her, since you take such
an interest in her. Let her come in.
Scene 3.
Overseer's wife. Jeppe. The others.
(Wife comes in and kisses him on the hand.)
=Jeppe=--Are you the overseer's wife?
=Woman=--Yes, I am, gracious lord.
=Jeppe= (pats her on the cheek)--You are real nice. Won't you sit down at
the table with me?
=Woman=--My lord has only to command; I am at his service.
=Jeppe= (to the overseer)--Will you let your wife eat with me?
=Overseer=--I thank your lordship that you do me the honor.
=Jeppe=--See here, place a chair for her, she shall sit at the table with
me.
(She seats herself at the table, eats and drinks with him; he becomes
jealous of the secretary and whenever he looks at him, the secretary
immediately looks the other way. He sings an old-fashioned love song
while they are sitting at the table. Jeppe orders the musicians to play
a polka and dances with her, but falls three times from drunkenness, and
the fourth time he remains lying and falls asleep.)
Scene 4.
The Baron. The others.
=Baron= (who has hitherto played the part of secretary)--He sleeps soundly
already. Now the game is ours; but we came near being fooled ourselves,
for he was bound to tyrrannize over us, whereupon we either had to spoil
the joke, or allow ourselves to be maltreated by that rude peasant, from
whose conduct one may learn how tyrannical and proud such people may
become who through some accident or other achieve honor or position. My
disguising myself as a secretary came near being my misfortune, for if I
had allowed him to strike me it might have become a pretty serious
affair and have made me no less than the peasant, an object of ridicule.
We had better let him sleep a little now before we put him back in his
filthy peasant clothes.
=Erik=--Ah, my lord, he sleeps as sound as a stone. See here! I can pound
him without his feeling it.
=Baron=--Take him away, then, and complete the comedy.
(Curtain.)
ACT IV.
Scene 1.
=Jeppe= (represented lying on a dung heap in his old peasant clothes,
awakes and cries:)--Hey, secretary! Valets! Lackeys! One more glass of
canaille sack! (Looks around and rubs his eyes, blinks as before, feels
of his head, looks at his old wide brimmed hat, turns the hat around on
all sides, looks at his clothes, recognizes himself, begins to speak.)
How long was Abraham in Paradise? Now I recognize to my sorrow,
everything, my bed, my coat, my old hat, myself; this is something else,
Jeppe, than drinking canaille sack from golden goblets and sitting at
table with lackeys and secretaries at one's command. Good luck never
lasts very long. Ah! Ah! to think that I who was such a gracious lord
only a short time ago should see myself in such a condition now; my
splendid bed changed to a dungheap, my gold embroidered cap to an old,
wornout hat, my lackeys to swine, and myself from a gracious lord to a
miserable peasant. I expected when I woke up to find my fingers bedecked
with rings, but they are (to speak reverently) bedecked with something
else. I expected to call my servants to account, but now I must myself
offer my own back for punishment when I come home and give an account of
myself. I thought when I woke to reach for a glass of sack, but got
instead something quite different. Ah! Ah! Jeppe, that stay in Paradise
was but short and your happiness soon came to an end. But who knows if
the same thing could not happen to me again if I lay down to rest once
more? Ah! ah! if it would only come to me again! Ah! if I could only get
back to Paradise. (Lies down to sleep again.)
Scene 2.
Jeppe. Nille.
=Nille=--I wonder if something has happened to him? What can this mean?
Either the devil has taken him or (what I am more afraid of) he is
sitting in an inn and drinking up the money. I was a fool when I trusted
that drunkard with twelve pence at one time. But what do I see? Does he
not lie there in the filth snoring? Ah! poor me, who must have such a
beast of a husband! Your back shall pay dearly enough for this.
(Steals over to him and gives him a whack from Master Erik on the back.)
=Jeppe=--Hey! Hey! Help! Help! What is that? Where am I? Who am I? Who
hits me? Why do you hit me? Hey!
=Nille=--I shall soon teach you what it is. (Strikes him again and pulls
him around by the hair.)
=Jeppe=--Ah, Nille, my dear! Don't strike me any more, you don't know what
has happened to me.
=Nille=--Where have you been so long, you drunken dog? Where is the soap
you were to buy?
=Jeppe=--I could not get to town, Nille.
=Nille=--Why could you not get to town?
=Jeppe=--I was taken up to Paradise on the way.
=Nille=--To Paradise! (Strikes him.) To Paradise! (Strikes him again.) To
Paradise! (Strikes him again.) Are you going to make fun of me besides?
=Jeppe=--Ow! Ow! Ow! As sure as I am an honest man it is not true.
=Nille=--What is true?
=Jeppe=--That I have been in Paradise.
(Nille repeats, "In Paradise," and strikes him again.)
=Jeppe=--Ah, Nille, my dear, don't hit me any more.
=Nille=--Quick! Confess where you have been or I will murder you!
=Jeppe=--Ah, I would gladly confess where I have been if you would not
strike me any more.
=Nille=--Confess, then!
=Jeppe=--Swear that you will not strike me any more, then.
=Nille=--No.
=Jeppe=--As true as I am an honest man and my name is Jeppe on the Hill, I
have been in Paradise and seen things that will make you wonder when you
hear them.
(Nille thrashes him again and drags him in by the hair.)
[Illustration: NILLE POUNDING JEPPE.]
Scene 3.
=Nille= (alone)--There, you drunken beast! Sleep till you get sober, then
we shall talk further about this matter. Such swine as you are don't get
into Paradise. Only think how that beast has drunk his senses away! But
if he has been enjoying himself at my expense then he shall certainly
suffer for it. For two days he shall get neither food nor drink. Before
that time has passed he will get over his notions of Paradise.
Scene 4.
Three armed men. Nille.
=First Soldier=--Is there a man living here by the name of Jeppe?
=Nille=--Yes, there is.
=Soldiers=--Are you his wife?
=Nille=--Yes, I am sorry to say. God help me!
=Soldiers=--We must see him.
=Nille=--He is quite drunk.
=Soldiers=--That makes no difference, away! Bring him out, or the whole
house will get into trouble.
(Nille goes in, kicks Jeppe out with such force that he knocks down all
three men.)
Scene 5.
Three armed men. Jeppe.
=Jeppe=--Ah! Ah! Now you see, my good fellows, what kind of wife I have to
live with.
=Soldiers=--You don't deserve any other treatment, for you are a felon.
(They take Jeppe away.)
=Jeppe=--What harm have I done?
=Soldiers=--You shall find that out soon enough when the court is held.
(They bind him.)
Scene 6.
Two lawyers. The judge. Jeppe.
(The judge comes in with an attendant and seats himself by a table,
while Jeppe is tied by the hands and brought before the court. One of
the lawyers steps forward and makes his charge thus:)
=First Lawyer=--Here is a man, your honor, who, we can testify, has stolen
into the Baron's house, pretended he was the Baron, put on his clothes,
tyrannized over his servants, which, since it is an outrageous act, we
insist, on behalf of our client that it should be punished severely, so
that other criminals may take warning from him.
=Judge=--Are you guilty of the offence which is charged against you? Speak
up. What have you to say in your own defence, for we do not wish to
judge until we hear both sides?
=Jeppe=--Ah, my poor soul! What shall I say? I admit that I have deserved
punishment, but only for the money which I drank up and which I was to
have bought soap with; I confess, also, that I have lately been at a
castle, but how I got there and how I got away from there, I do not
know.
=Plaintiff (First Lawyer)=--Your honor hears from his own confession that
he has drunk to excess, and in his intoxication committed such an
unheard-of misdemeanor. And it now only remains to determine whether
such a serious crime can be excused on the ground of drunkenness. I say
no! Since if that is the case, no crime would be punished. Everyone
would be seeking some such excuse and say that it was done in
drunkenness; and even if he can prove himself to have been drunk, his
case will not thereby be improved; for it is a rule in law that what a
man does in drunkenness he shall be held responsible for when he becomes
sober.
=Defendant (Second Lawyer)=--Your honor! This matter appears so strange to
me that I can hardly believe it, even if there were more witnesses. How
could a guileless peasant steal in upon his lordship's estate, and
assume his position, without being able to assume his face or his form!
How could he come into my lord's sleeping-chamber? How could he get to
his wardrobe without some one seeing him? No, your honor, one can see
that it is a conspiracy hatched up by the poor man's enemies. I hope,
therefore, that he will be acquitted.
=Jeppe= (weeping)--Ah! God bless your lips! I have a plug of tobacco in my
pocket, if you would like some; it is good enough for any honest man.
=Second Lawyer=--No thanks, keep your tobacco, Jeppe. I am defending you
not for money or gifts but only from a sense of Christian charity.
=Jeppe=--I beg your pardon, Mr. Lawyer, I had not thought that lawyers
were so honest!
=First Lawyer=--That which my colleague adduces for the acquittal of this
felon is based entirely on guess work. The question in this case is not
whether it is probable that such a thing could occur, for it has already
been proved, by witnesses as well as by his own confession, that it did
occur.
=Second Lawyer=--What a man confesses through fear and intimidation cannot
be considered in law. I ask, therefore, that this poor man be given time
for reflection, and that he be asked the same questions once more.
Listen, Jeppe, mind now what you say. Do you confess that of which you
are accused?
=Jeppe=--No! I make my oath that everything which I have said before is a
lie; for I have not been out of my house for three days!
=First Lawyer=--Your honor, I am firmly of the opinion that anyone who has
first been proved guilty by witnesses, and later has confessed his own
misdeeds should not be permitted to make a sworn statement.
=Second Lawyer=--I say yes,--
=First Lawyer=--I say no!
=Second Lawyer=--When the case is of such a peculiar nature.
=First Lawyer=--No circumstances can prevail against witnesses and the
defendant's own confession.
=Jeppe= (aside)--Ah, if they could only get into a scrap with each other!
In the meantime I should get hold of the judge and pound him, so he
would forget both law and justice.
=Second Lawyer=--But listen, Herr Colleague! Although he confesses the
deed, he has not deserved punishment; for he has committed no crime on
the estate, neither murder nor robbery.
=First Lawyer=--That makes no difference; intentio furandi is the same as
furtum.
=Jeppe=--Talk Danish, you dirty dog! Then we'll be able to defend
ourselves all right.
=First Lawyer=--For whether it is found that a person intends to steal, or
does steal, he is a thief.
=Jeppe=--Ah, my gracious judge, I should gladly be hanged, if that lawyer
could be hanged at my side.
=Second Lawyer=--Don't talk that way, Jeppe, you only injure your own
cause by it.
=Jeppe=--Why don't you answer, then? (Aside.) He stands there like a dumb
fool.
=Second Lawyer=--But how do you prove furandi propositum?
=First Lawyer=--Quicumque in aedes alienas noctu irrumpit, tanquam fur aut
nocturnus grassator existimandus est, atqui reus hic ita, ergo.
=Second Lawyer=--Nego majorem, qvod scilicit irruperit.
=First Lawyer=--Res manifesta est, tot legitimis testibus exstantibus, ac
confitenti reo.
=Second Lawyer=--Quicumque vi vel metu coactus fuerit confiteri--
=First Lawyer=--But where is that vis? Where is that metus? That is but
chicanery.
=Second Lawyer=--No, you are using chicane.
=First Lawyer=--No honest man shall accuse me of such a thing.
(The lawyers grapple, and Jeppe runs over and pulls the wig off the
first lawyer and strikes him on the head with it.)
=Judge=--Order in the courtroom! Stop, I have heard enough! (Reads his
verdict:) Whereas Jeppe on the Hill, son of Niels on the Hill, and
grandson of Jeppe from the same place, is proved by legal witnesses as
well as by his own confession to have surreptitiously entered the
Baron's castle, put on his clothes, and maltreated his servants, he is
condemned to die by poison, and when he is dead his body shall be hanged
on the gallows.
=Jeppe=--Ah! Ah! Gracious judge! Is there no pardon?
=Judge=--None. The sentence shall be executed immediately in my presence.
=Jeppe=--Ah! Won't you give me a glass of whiskey before I drink the
poison so that I can die like a soldier?
=Judge=--Yes, that is permitted.
=Jeppe= (drinks three glasses of whiskey, falls on his knees and
asks:)--Is there then no pardon?
=Judge=--No, Jeppe! It is too late now.
=Jeppe=--Ah! But it isn't too late! The judge can surely change the
sentence, and say that it was all wrong the first time. Why, that
happens often, for we are all human.
=Judge=--No, you shall feel yourself in a few minutes that it is too late;
for you have already taken the poison in the whiskey.
=Jeppe=--Ah, poor me! Have I already taken the poison? Ah, goodbye, Nille!
Still, you fiend, you don't deserve to have me bid you farewell; goodbye
Jens, Niels and Christoffer! Goodbye, my daughter Martha; goodbye, the
apple of my eye! You have your father's face; we look as much alike as
two drops of water. Goodbye, my dappled horse, and thanks for every time
I have ridden on you; next to my own children I have loved no beast as
much as you. Goodbye, Fairfax! My faithful dog and watch; goodbye Mo'ns,
my black cat! Goodbye, my oxen, my sheep, my hogs, and thanks for good
company and for every day I have known you. Goodbye--Ah! Now I can say
nothing more, I am so weak and helpless.
(Falls over and remains lying.)
=Judge=--It works well; the drugged liquor has already done its work; he
sleeps like a stone. Now hang him up; but see to it that he receives no
injury from it, and that the rope comes only under his arms. Now we
shall see how he acts when he awakes and finds himself hanging aloft.
ACT V.
Scene 1.
Nille. Jeppe. Judge.
(Jeppe is represented hanging on a gallows.)
=Nille= (tears her hair, beats her breast, and cries)--Oh! Oh! Is it
possible that I shall see my husband hanging on a gallows! Ah, my
dearest husband! Forgive me if I have ever done anything to harm you.
Oh, oh! Now my conscience awakes; now I am sorry, but too late, that I
have treated you so mean; now I begin to miss you, now I can see what an
excellent husband I have lost! Oh! Oh, if I could only bring you back
from death, even at the cost of my own life and blood.
(Wipes her eyes and weeps bitterly. In the meantime the effects of the
sleep-producing drink have worn off, and Jeppe wakes and sees himself
hanging on a gallows with his hands tied behind his back; he hears his
wife sobbing and speaks to her.)
=Jeppe=--Don't feel bad, my darling wife! We must all go this way
sometime. Go home and take care of the house and look after my children.
My red coat can be made over for little Christian, and what is left
Martha may have for a cap. But, before all else, see to it that my
dappled horse is well taken care of, for I loved that beast as if he was
my own brother. If I wasn't dead I'd tell you a number of other things.
=Nille=--Oh--Oh--Oh--What is that? What do I hear? Can a dead man speak?
=Jeppe=--Do not fear, Nille; I won't hurt you.
=Nille=--Ah, my dearest husband, how can you speak when you are dead?
=Jeppe=--I don't know how it is myself. But listen, dear wife. Run like a
streak and bring me eight pence worth of whiskey, for I am more thirsty
now than when I was alive.
=Nille=--Fie! You beast! You rascal! You old sot! Didn't you drink whiskey
enough while you were alive? Are you still thirsty, you dog, now that
you are dead? You're what I call a regular hog!
=Jeppe=--Hold your tongue, you scold, and fetch the whiskey. If you don't
do that I'll be hanged if I won't haunt the house every night. You must
know that I'm not afraid of Master Erik any more, for I don't feel
thrashings now. (Nille runs to the house after Master Erik, returns and
thrashes him on the gallows.) Ou--Ou--Ouch! Stop, Nille! Stop! You might
kill me again, Ou--Ou--Ouch!
=Judge= (interferes)--Look here, woman, you must not strike him any more.
Be content; we will, for your sake, forgive your husband his offense,
and sentence him to life again.
=Nille=--Ah, no, gracious lord! Just let him hang, for he is not worth the
trouble.
=Judge=--Fie! You are a wicked woman! Get out of here quickly or we shall
hang you up beside him. (Nille runs out.)
Scene 2.
Jeppe. The Court.
(Jeppe is being taken down from the gallows.)
=Jeppe=--Ah, your honor! Is it certain that I am quite alive again or am I
a ghost?
=Judge=--You are quite alive; for the court which can sentence you to
death can also sentence you to life. Can't you understand that?
=Jeppe=--No, I don't understand it, but I believe I am still a ghost.
=Judge=--Ah, you fool! That is easy to see. He who takes a thing from you
can certainly give it back to you.
=Jeppe=--May I then try to hang the judge, just for fun, and see if I can
sentence him to life again later?
=Judge=--No, that won't do; for you are no judge.
=Jeppe=--But am I then alive again?
=Judge=--Yes, you are.
=Jeppe=--So that I'm not a ghost?
=Judge=--Certainly not!
=Jeppe=--Nor a spirit?
=Judge=--No.
=Jeppe=--Am I then the same Jeppe on the Hill that I was before?
=Judge=--To be sure!
=Jeppe=--And not a spectre?
=Judge=--No, of course not.
=Jeppe=--Will you swear that it is true?
=Judge=--I swear that you are alive.
=Jeppe=--Will you cross your heart and hope to die if it isn't true?
=Judge=--You should believe what we say without question, and thank us
that we have been so merciful as to sentence you to life again.
=Jeppe=--If you had not hanged me yourselves, I should have been glad to
thank you for taking me down again.
=Judge=--Be content, Jeppe, and let us know when your wife beats you
again, and we shall look into the matter. See, here are four Rixdollars,
which you can have a good time with for awhile, and don't forget to
drink our health.
(Jeppe kisses his hand and thanks him. The judge goes away.)
Scene 3.
=Jeppe= (alone)--Here I have lived for fifty years, and in all that time I
have not gone through as much as in these two days. This is certainly a
queer story, when I stop to think of it; one hour a drunken peasant,
another hour baron, a third hour peasant again; now dead, now alive on a
gallows,--which is the funniest of it all; maybe when live people get
hanged they die, and when dead people get hanged they come to life
again. I guess that a drink of whiskey would taste fine on this. Hey!
Jakob Skomager, come out!
Scene 4.
Jakob Skomager. Jeppe.
=Jakob=--Welcome back from town! Did you get the soap for your wife?
=Jeppe=--Ay, you rascal, you must know what kind of people you are talking
to! Off with your cap! for you are but an idiot compared to a fellow
like me.
=Jakob=--I'd not stand such words from anyone else, Jeppe. But since you
give my house a daily penny, I won't be too particular.
=Jeppe=--Off with your cap, you rascal!
=Jakob=--What has happened to you on the way, that you've got the big
head?
=Jeppe=--You must know that I have been hanged since I spoke with you
last.
=Jakob=--That is not so much to feel proud about. I don't envy you a bit.
But listen, Jeppe, "where you have drunk your beer there you should show
your spleen!" You become drunk at other places, but come into my house
just to make a disturbance.
=Jeppe=--Quick, off with your cap, you rascal! Don't you hear that
jingling in my pocket?
=Jakob= (with his hat under his arm)--Whew! Where did you get that money?
=Jeppe=--From my barony, Jakob. I'll tell you what has happened to me, but
give me a glass of mead first; for I am too proud to drink Danish
whiskey.
=Jakob=--Your health, Jeppe.
=Jeppe=--Now I shall tell you what has happened to me. When I left you I
fell asleep; when I woke up again I was a baron, and got drunk again on
canaille sack; when I got drunk of sack, I woke up on a dung-heap; when
I woke up on the dung-heap, I lay down to sleep again, hoping that I
would again become a baron, but I found that it doesn't always go like
that; for my wife woke me up with Master Erik and dragged me in by the
hair without having the least respect for such a man as I had been. When
I came into the room I was kicked out head first, and saw myself
surrounded by a lot of shysters, who sentenced me to death and killed me
with poison; after I had been hanged I came to life again and got four
Rixdollars. This is the whole story; but how such a thing could happen,
I will let you imagine.
=Jakob=--Ha! Ha! Ha! It's a dream, Jeppe.
=Jeppe=--If I didn't have these four Rixdollars I'd think it was a dream,
too. Give me another, Jakob, I'll not think more of that foolishness but
have another good drink.
=Jakob=--Your health, Baron. Ha! Ha! Ha!
=Jeppe=--Perhaps you can't understand this, Jakob?
=Jakob=--Not if I stood on my head.
=Jeppe=--It might be true anyway, Jakob, for you are a dunce, and don't
understand such things.
Scene 5.
Magnus. Jeppe. Jakob.
=Magnus=--Ha! Ha! Ha! I'll tell you a confounded story about a man called
Jeppe on the Hill, who was found drunk and sleeping in the field,--his
clothes were changed, and he was laid in the best bed on the estate. He
was made to believe that he was the Baron, then they made him drunk
again, and put him back on the dung-heap. When he woke up, he imagined
that he had been in paradise. I laughed till I almost died when I heard
that story from the overseer's men. I would give a Rixdollar if I could
get a chance to see the fool. Ha, ha, ha!
=Jeppe=--How much do I owe, Jakob?
=Jakob=--Twelve pence.
(Jeppe wipes his mouth and goes away very much ashamed.)
=Magnus=--Why did that man leave so suddenly?
=Jakob=--That is the very person on whom the trick was played.
=Magnus=--Is it possible? Then I must hurry after him. Hold on, Jeppe! One
word more. How is everything getting along in the other world?
=Jeppe=--Let me go in peace.
=Magnus=--Why didn't you stay there longer?
=Jeppe=--Is that any of your business?
=Magnus=--Ay, tell us something about your journey.
=Jeppe=--Let me go, I tell you; or I shall do something to you.
=Magnus=--Ay, Jeppe, I am so anxious to find out something about it.
=Jeppe=--Jakob Skomager! Help! Will you let people be attacked in your
house?
=Magnus=--I am doing you no harm, Jeppe. I only ask what you saw in the
other world.
=Jeppe=--Hey! Help! Help!
=Magnus=--Did you see any of my ancestors there?
=Jeppe=--No, your ancestors must be in the other place, where I hope you
and other rascals will go when you die. (Struggles with Magnus and gets
away.)
Scene 6.
Baron. His secretary. Valet. Two lackeys.
=Baron=--Ha, ha, ha! That joke is worth a good deal; I had not thought
that it would have had such good effect. If you can amuse me as well
again, Erik, you shall stand very high in my regard.
=Erik=--No, gracious lord, I dare not risk such comedy again; for if he
had struck my lord, as he threatened to do, there might have been a
terrible tragedy.
=Baron=--That is, by my faith, true enough. I myself feared it somewhat,
but I was so interested in the outcome that I would rather have allowed
myself to be struck,--yes, I believe I would rather have allowed myself
to be hanged by him, Erik, than to have given the story away. You were
probably of the same mind.
=Erik=--No, my lord! It would be rather strange to allow one's self to be
hanged in jest, for that pleasure would be too costly.
=Baron=--Ay! Such things happen every day. If not in that manner, then in
some other, do people lose their lives through some jest. For example,
if a man has a weak will and knows that he is likely to lose both life
and health from too much drink, still he is likely to overtask his
strength and risk both for the sake of an evening's pleasure. I am
convinced, Erik, that it would have been better if you had allowed
yourself to be hanged rather than to have spoiled such a splendid
comedy.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES:
Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
Inconsistencies in spelling, hyphenation, and punctuation have been
retained from the original.
Text in bold is surrounded by equals signs.