PECK'S BAD BOY
WITH THE CIRCUS
[Frontispiece: Pa Kept Mauling the Lion]
PECK'S BAD BOY
WITH THE CIRCUS
BY HON. GEO. W. PECK
Author of Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa, Peck's Bad Boy Abroad,
Peck's Uncle Ike and the Red Headed Boy,
Etc., Etc.
Relating the experiences of the Bad Boy and his Dad during their
travels with a Circus. The Bad Boy gets his Dad in hot water in
every conceivable way, and plays jokes and pranks on everyone, from
the Clown to the Manager, and from the Monkey to the Elephant.
Rip-roaring, side-splitting fun from beginning to end.
ILLUSTRATED BY C. FRINK
Copyright 1905 by
Joseph B. Bowles
Copyright 1906, by
Thompson & Thomas
Made in U.S.A.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I.
The Bad Boy Begins a Diary--Dad Has Become Manager for a Circus--The Bad
Boy Expects to Curry the Hyena and Do Stunts on the Trapeze--Ma Says Pa
Will Ogle the Circassian Beauty--Pa Buys Some Circus Clothes and Lets
His Whiskers Grow.
CHAPTER II.
The Bad Boy Visits the Circus in Winter Quarters--He Meets the Circus
Performers--- Dad Rides a Horse and Gets Tossed in a Blanket--The Bad
Boy Goes "Kangarooing"--Pa's Clothes Cause Excitement Among the
Animals--A Monkey Steals His Watch.
CHAPTER III.
Pa Reproves the Fat Woman for Losing Flesh--The Bearded Lady Faints in
Pa's Arms--The Bad Boy Introduced Into Animal Society--They Pull the Boa
Constrictor's Ulcerated Tooth.
CHAPTER IV.
Pa Finds the Fat Lady a Burden--The Bad Boy Makes His First Public
Appearance--He Talks Politics with the Midget--Pa Meets with Numerous
Accidents.
CHAPTER V.
The Rogue Elephant Creates a Panic and Pa Proves Himself a Hero--The Bad
Boy Gets Scolded for "Being Tough"--He Finds that Audiences Like
Accidents.
CHAPTER VI.
The Bad Boy Puts Fly-Paper in the Bob Cat's Cage--The Bob Cat Causes a
Panic in the Main Tent--The Midget Quarrels with the Giant--Pa is Almost
Arrested for Kidnapping and the Ostrich Swallows His Diamond Stud.
CHAPTER VII.
The Circus Has A Yellow Fever Scare--The Bad Boy and His Dad Dress Up as
Hottentots--Pa Takes a Mustard Bath and Attends a Revival Meeting.
CHAPTER VIII.
Pa Tales the Place of the Fat Woman with Disastrous Results--A Kentucky
Colonel Causes a Row--Pa Tries to Roar Like a Lion and the Rhinoceros
Objects--Pa Plays the Slot-Machine and Gets the Worst of It.
CHAPTER IX.
The Bad Boy feeds Cayenne Pepper to the Sacred Cow--He and His Pa Ride
in a Circus Parade With the Circassian Beauties--A Tipsy Elephant Lands
Them in a Public Fountain--Pa Makes the Acquaintance of John L.
Sullivan.
CHAPTER X.
The Bad Boy and His Pa Drive a Roman Chariot--They Win the Race, but
Meet With Difficulties--The Bearded Lady to the Rescue--A Farmer's Cart
Breaks Up the Circus Procession.
CHAPTER XI.
The Bad Boy and His Pa in a Railroad Wreck--Pa Rescues the "Other
Freaks"--- They Spend the Night on a Meadow--A Near-Sighted Claim Agent
Settles for Damages--Pa Plays Deaf and Dumb and Gets Ten Thousand.
CHAPTER XII.
The Bad Boy Causes Trouble Between the Russian Cossacks and the Jap
Jugglers--A Jap Tight-Rope Walker Jiu Jitsu's Pa--The Animals Go on a
Strike--Pa Runs the Menagerie for a Day and Wins Their Gratitude.
CHAPTER XIII.
The Circus Strikes the Quaker City--They Go on a Ginger Ale Jag--Pa
Breaks Up an Indian War Dance and Comes Near Being Burned Alive--The
World's Fair Cannibals Have a Roast Dog Feast.
CHAPTER XIV.
A Newport Monk Is Added to the Show--The Bay Teaches Him Some "Manly
Tricks"--The Tent Blows Down and a Panic Follows--Pa Manages the Animal
Act Which Ends in a Novel Manner.
CHAPTER XV.
The Bad Boy Feeds the Menagerie Scotch Snuff--Pa Gets Mauled by the
Sneezing Animals--Pa Takes a Midnight Ride on a Mule to Escape
Punishment.
CHAPTER XVI.
A Senator's Son Bets the Bad Boy That Elephants Are Cowards--They Let a
Bag of Rats Loose at the Afternoon Performance--The Elephants Stampede,
Pa Fractures a Rib and General Pandemonium Reigns.
CHAPTER XVII.
The Bad Boy and the Senator's Son Go on an Elephant Chase--The Senator's
Son Gets His Friend a Bid to Dinner at the White House--The Trained Seal
Swallows an Alarm Clock.
CHAPTER XVIII.
The Show Strikes Virginia and the Educated Ourang Outang Has the
Whooping Cough--The Bad Boy Plays the Part of a Monkey, but They Forget
to Pin on a Tail.
CHAPTER XIX.
The Circus People Visit a Southern Plantation--Pa, the Giant and the Fat
Woman Are Chased by Bloodhounds--The Bad Boy "Runs the Gauntlet."
CHAPTER XX.
The Bad Boy Goes After a Mess of White Turnips for the Menagerie--He
Feeds the Animals Horseradish, but Gets the Worst of the Deal.
CHAPTER XXI.
The Bad Boy and His Pa Inject a Little Politics Into the Show--Rival
Bands of Atlanta Citizens Meet in the Circus Tent--- A Bunch of Angry
Hornets Causes Much Bitter Feeling.
CHAPTER XXII.
The Show Does Poor Business in the South--Pa Side Tracks a Circus Car
Filled with Creditors--A Performance Given "For the Poor," Fills the
Treasury--A Wild West Man Buncoes the Show.
CHAPTER XXIII.
The Circus Has Bad Luck in Indian Territory--A Herd of Animals Turned
Out to Graze Is Stampeded by Indians--They Go Dashing Over the Plains,
and the Circus Tent Follows, Picked Up by a Cyclone.
CHAPTER XXIV.
Pa Is Sent to a Hospital to Recuperate--The Bad Boy Discourages Other
Boys from Running Away with the Circus--He Makes Them Water the Camels,
Curry the Hyenas and Put Insect Powder on the Buffaloes.
CHAPTER XXV.
Pa Breaks in the Zebras and Drives a Six-in-Hand Team in the Parade--The
Freaks Have a Narrow Escape from Drowning.
CHAPTER XXVI.
The Rings Are So Muddy the Performers Have to Wear Rubber Boots--The
Freaks Present Pa with a Big Heart of Roses--The Show Closes and the Bad
Boy Starts West with His Pa in Search of Attractions for the Coming
Season.
ILLUSTRATIONS.
Pa Kept Mauling the Lion.
And Pa Swatted Her on the Back.
The Sacred Cow Chased Ma Up the Church Stairs.
Was Suspended in the Air.
A Leopard Reached Out His Paw and Gathered in the Tail of Pa's Coat
I Will Hold You Responsible for This!
They Had to Turn the Hose on Pa.
They Threw Boiled Potatoes and Scrambled Eggs at Pa.
She Kicked Pa's Hat Off.
Bolivar Took Half a Watermelon and Put the Red Side on Top of Pa's Head.
Pa Turned the Cock of the Extinguisher and Pointed the Nozzle at
Bolivar's Head.
The Bob Cat Struck Pa on the Back.
The Man Tackled Pa.
The Doctor Said It Was an Unmistakable Case of Yellow Fever.
After Scratching His Head a Minute, Ike Turned and Walked Toward the
Preacher.
I Punctured Pa's Tires.
Chased by Police.
The Elephant kept Ducking Pa and Swabbing Out the Bottom of the
Fountain.
John L. Slatted Pa Just as Though He Was a Child.
Her Cart, Team and All, Were Thrown Right Against the Band.
Pa Struck on His Head Against a Wagon Wheel.
Pa Got an Ax and Cut the Fat Woman Out.
What Hit Him? That's the Worst Case I Ever Saw!
Gee, but Didn't That Russian Talk Kopec and Damski.
O, but the Jap Didn't Do a Thing to Pa!
The Indians Tied Pa to a Tree and Began to Pile Sticks Around Him.
The Fat Woman Jabbed Pa with Her Parasol.
When She Saw the Baboon She Yelled Fire.
The Lion Sneezed and Blew Pa Clear Across the Tent.
Pa Rode Out of Town and Rode All Night.
Bolivar Swatted Pa Clear Across the Ring.
Pa, Do Not Fear.
We Met Some Farmers.
Old Gentleman, You Ought to Come Down Off Your Perch.
The Keeper Who Trained the Ourang Outang Took Me in Hand.
He Hit Me Right in the Eye.
Here, Mr. Confederate, I Am not a Union Prisoner.
I Yelled Murder and Ran Between the Giant's Legs.
The Camel Kicked an Arab Off a Rug.
Pa Tasted of It.
He Hit Pa Over the Head with His Chinese Lantern.
They Stampeded Like They Never Met a Hornet Before.
The Sacred Cow Chased Pa Up into the Rafters of the Car.
The Pony Was Off Like a Rabbit.
The Boss Canvasman Went into a Cactus.
Dad Was Only Hitting the High Places.
The Bull Tossed the Boy Through the Tent.
Pa Jumped Like a Box Car.
There Never Was Such a Runaway Since the Days of Ben Hur.
The Zebras Turned Short and Tipped the Tally-ho Over into the Water.
I Will Search for the Wildest of Red Men.
They Tossed Pa Up in the Blanket.
* * * * *
Peck's Bad Boy With the Circus.
CHAPTER I.
The Bad Boy Begins a Diary--Dad Has Become Manager for a Circus--The
Bad Boy Expects to Curry the Hyena and Do Stunts on the Trapeze--Ma
Says Pa Will Ogle the Circassian Beauty--- Pa Buys Some Circus
Clothes and Lets His Whiskers Grow.
April 10, 19..--I never thought it would come to this, that I should
keep a diary, because I am not a good little boy. Nobody ever keeps a
diary except a boy that wants to be an angel, and with the angels stand,
or a girl that is in love, or an old maid that can't catch a man unless
she writes down her emotions and leaves them around so some man will
read them, and swallow the bait and not feel the hook in his gills, or a
truly good bank cashier who teaches Sunday school, and skips out for
Canada some Saturday night, after the bank closes, and on Monday morning
they find the combination of the lock on the safe changed, and when they
hire a reformed burglar to open the lock the money is all gone with the
cashier. Those are the only people that ever kept a successful diary.
But I had to promise ma that I would keep a diary, so she could read it,
or I never could have got her consent for me to go with pa on the road
with a circus. All ma asks of me is to tell the truth about everything
that happens to me and to pa during the whole summer, and I have
consented, and I can see my finish, and pa's finish and ma's finish, and
the finish of the circus that is going to take us along.
Gee, but we have had a hot time at our house since pa and I got back
from our trip abroad. I brought pa back in better health than he was
when he went away, but he has got so accustomed to excitement that I
knew something would be doing pretty soon, so I was not surprised when
he told us at the breakfast table that he supposed he should have to go
and travel with a circus this summer.
Ma looked at pa as though she wanted to call the police and am ambulance
to take him to the emergency hospital. He looked at ma and at me,
speared another waffle, and said: "I know you will think I am nutty, but
for almost ten years I have had a block of stock in a circus and
menagerie. I went into it to help some young circus fellows, and put up
quite a bunch of money, because they were honest and poor, and for a few
years things went wrong, and I thought my money was gone, but for the
last six years the circus has paid dividends bigger than Standard Oil,
and today it stands away up among the financial successes, and the
dividends on my citrus stock is better than any bank stock I have got,
and it comes just like finding money. The company decided at its annual
meeting to invite me to take the position of one of the managers, and I
shall soon go to the winter quarters of the show, to arrange to put it
on the road about the 1st of May. Now any remarks may be made, pro or
con, in regard to my sanity, see?"
Well, ma swallowed something crosswise down her Sunday throat, and
choked, and pa swatted her on the back so she would cough it up, and
when she could speak she said: "Pa, do you have to wear tights, and jump
through hoops on the back of a horse, and cut up didoes, at your time of
life? For if you do I can never live to witness any such performances."
[Illustration: Pa Swatted Her on the Back.]
Pa was calm, and did not fly off the handle, but he just said, kindly:
"Mother, you have vague ideas of the duties of the owners of a circus.
The owners hire performers to do stunts, and break their necks, while we
manage them and take in the shekels from the Reubens who come into town
on circus day. We proprietors touch the button, and the actors and
animals do the rest. I shall be a director who directs, a man who sets a
dignified and pious example to the men and women who adorn the
profession, coming as they do from all climes, and your pa will be the
guide, philosopher and friend of all who belong to the grandest
aggregation of talent ever gathered under one canvas, at one price of
admission, and do not fail to witness the concert which will be given
under this canvas after the main performance is over."
Ma looked at pa pretty savage, and said: "O, I see, you are going to be
ringmaster, but what is to become of Hennery and me while you are
cracking your whip around the hind legs of the fat woman, and ogling the
Circassian beauty?"
Pa put his hand on my head and said: "Mother, Hennery will go with me,
to see that I do not get into any trouble as a circus financier and
general manager of the menagerie and Wild West aggregation, and
hippodrome, in the great three-ring circus, and you can stay home and
give us absent treatment for what ails us, and pack the money I shall
send you in bales with a hay press, and put it in cold storage till we
come back in the fall. It is settled, we go to conquer, and the world
will lay at our feet before the middle of August, and you will be a
proud woman to own a husband who will be pointed at as the most
successful amusement purveyor the world has ever witnessed, and a son
who will start in at the bottom round of the circus ladder and rise,
step by step, until he will stand beside the great Barnum."
Ma thought seriously for a few minutes, and then she said: "O, pa, if it
was anything but the circus business you and Hennery went into, like
selling soap or being a bank defaulter, or something respectable, I
could look the neighbors in the face, but of course if there is money in
it, and you feel that the good Lord has called you to the circus field,
and you will see that Hennery does not stay out nights, and Hennery will
promise to see that you put on a clean collar occasionally, and you will
promise me that you will not let any of those circus women in spangles
make eyes at you, I will consent to your going with the circus, just
this once, as the doctor has advised that you lead an active life, and I
guess you will get it traveling with a circus, for it nearly killed me
that time I took Hennery to see the animals, and the tent blew down, and
we got separated and the sacred cow chased ma up the church steps, and
Hennery and a monkey were brought home by a policeman about daylight the
next morning, that time you were off fishing, and I never told you about
going to the circus when you were away. So we are circus proprietors,
are we? Well, it ain't so bad," and ma went upstairs to cry at our
success, and pa and I went out to walk off the effects of the breaking
the news to ma.
[Illustration: Sacred Cow Chased Ma Up the Church Steps.]
I had a long talk with pa about our changed circumstances, and asked him
what I would be expected to do in the show, and he says I will fit in
anywhere. He says that a boy who knows as much about everything as I
think I know, but don't know a blamed thing about, will be invaluable
about a show, and that going into a new business is like going to
college as a freshman, as all the old circus men will haze us, and we
must not expect an easy life, but one full of excitement, sleepless
nights, ginger, the glare of the torchlights, the races, the flying
trapeze, the smell of the sawdust and tanbark, the howling of the wild
beasts, and the plaudits of the multitude of jays and jayesses, and it
will be like one grand circus day spread all over the summer and fall.
He says he wants me to learn the circus business from the ground up,
from the currying of the hyenas with a currycomb and brush, to going up
into the roof of the tent on the trapeze and falling into the net, while
the audience faints with excitement. I asked pa if he wanted me to keep
on playing tricks on him while we were on the road, and he said he had
got so used to my tricks that he couldn't live without them, and he
didn't want me to let a chance escape to make him have a good time.
April 11.--Ma and pa have had several discussions about what kind of a
position it is going to leave her in, among the neighbors, for pa and I
to go off with a circus, and ma wanted to withdraw from the church, and
board up the windows of the house, and make folks think we had gone to
the seashore, but pa convinced her that we would have preaching in the
main tent every Sunday and he says there is no more pious lot of people
on earth than those who travel with a circus, and then ma wanted to go
along. She said she could do the mending of the long socks that the
women wear when they ride barebacked, but we had to shut down on ma's
going with the show, cause we never could have any fun with a woman to
look after. Pa says nowadays the men and women who ride on bareback
horses in the ring dress in regular evening costume, the women with
low-necked dresses and long trains, and the men with swallow-tail coats
and patent leather shoes, and they are as polite as dancing masters.
We have compromised with ma, and she is to meet the show at Kalamazoo
and go with us to Kankakee and Keokuk until she is overcome by nervous
prostration, when we shall have her go home. Pa thinks ma would last
about two days with the show, but I guess if she took a course of
treatment with peanuts and red lemonade one afternoon and evening, she
would want to throw up her job, and go back home in charge of a stomach
specialist.
Well, pa showed up at the house in his circus clothes this afternoon,
and he certainly is a peach. Pa has been letting his chin whiskers grow
for about six weeks, and today he had them colored black, and he looks
as though he had swallowed the blacking brush, and left the bunch of
bristles outside, on his chin. He looks fierce. Then, he has got a new
brand of silk hat, with a wide, curling brim, and he has had a vest made
of black and blue check goods, the checks as big as the checks on a
checker board, and a pair of pants that look like a diamond-back
rattlesnake, and he has got an imitation diamond stud in his white shirt
that looks like a paper weight.
Ma wanted to know if there was any law to compel pa to dress like that,
'cause he looked as though he was a gambler or a train robber. Pa says
that a circus proprietor has got to look different from anybody else, in
order to inspire fear and respect on the part of the hands around the
show, as well as the audiences that flock to the arena, and he asked ma
if she didn't remember old Dan Rice, and old John Robinson. Ma didn't
remember them, but she remembered Barnum, because Barnum lectured on
temperance, and she said she hoped pa would emulate Barnum's example,
and pa said he would, and then he took a watch chain with links as big
as a trace chain and spread it across his checkered vest, from one
pocket to the other, with a life-size gold elk hanging down the middle,
and ma almost had a convulsion.
Gee, but if pa wears that rig in the menagerie tent the animals will paw
and bellow like a drove of cattle that smell blood. Pa is going to wear
a sack coat with his outfit, so as to look tough, and he wouldn't hear
to ma when she tried to get him to wear a frock coat. He said a frock
coat was all right in society or among the crowned heads, but when you
have to mingle with lions and elephants one minute that would snatch the
tail off a coat and chew it and the next minute you are mixed up with a
bunch of freaks or a lot of bareback riders or trapeze performers, you
have got to compromise on a coat that will fit any climate, and not
cause invidious remarks, whatever that is.
I will have to stand up beside the giant once in a while to show the
difference in the size of men, and at other times I will have to stand
beside the midgets and look like a giant myself. We are all packed up,
and in two days we start for the winter quarters of the show, to pound
it into shape for the road. By ginger, I can't hardly wait to get there
and see pa boss things.