A catastrophe! He suffered then as he had never suffered.
His was no state approaching agony; it was agony itself, black and
awful. She was not coming. She had not troubled herself to give a
reason, nor to offer an excuse. She merely was not coming. She had
showed no consideration for his feelings. It had not happened to her to
reflect that she would be causing him disappointment. Disappointment
was too mild a word. He had been building a marvellously beautiful
castle, and with a thoughtless, careless stroke of the pen she had
annihilated all his labour; she had almost annihilated him. Surely she
owed him some reason, some explanation! Had she the right to play fast
and loose with him like that? "What a shame!" he sobbed violently in
his heart, with an excessive and righteous resentment. He was innocent;
he was blameless; and she tortured him thus! He supposed that all women
were like her... "What a shame!" He pitied himself for a victim. And
there was no glint of hope anywhere. In half an hour he would have been
near her, with her, guiding her to the workshop, discussing the machine
with her; and savouring her uniqueness; feasting on her delicious and
adorable personality! ... `So sorry I can't come to-day!' "She doesn't
understand. She can't understand!" he said to himself. "No woman,
however cruel, would ever knowingly be so cruel as she has been. It
isn't possible!" Then he sought excuse for her, and then he cast the
excuse away angrily. She was not coming. There was no ground beneath
his feet. He was so exquisitely miserable that he could not face a
future of even ten hours ahead. He could not look at what his existence
would be till bedtime. The blow had deprived him of all force, all
courage. It was a wanton blow. He wished savagely that he had never
seen her... No! no! He could not call on the Orgreaves that night. He
could not do it. She might be out. And then...
His father entered, and began to grumble. Both Edwin and Maggie had
known since the beginning of dinner that Darius was quaking on the
precipice of a bad bilious attack. Edwin listened to the rising storm
of words. He had to resume the thread of his daily life. He knew what
affliction was.