The first applicant arrived just as I was sitting down to breakfast. I
went out to him in the hall at once. He was tall, thin, and distinctly
seedy.
"I have called with reference to the advertisement of the purse which
was found." I bowed. He seemed to hesitate. "I have lost a purse." He
looked as if he had--long years ago. "I have reason to believe that it
is my purse which you have found. I shall be happy to hand you the
cost of your advertisement on your returning me my property."
"When did you lose it?"
My question seemed to escape his notice.
"I am a clergyman in the Orders of the Church of England, and the
inscrutable laws of the Divine Benevolence have placed me in a
position which makes such a loss a matter of cardinal importance."
"Where did you lose it?"
"In town, sir--in town."
"In what part of town?"
"In the west, sir--in the west."
"Do you mean in the western postal district?"
"My topographical knowledge of this great city is scarcely sufficient
to enable me to enter into such minutiæ." He assumed an air of candour
which ill became him. "I will be frank with you. I do not know where I
lost it. The shock of the loss was so great as to make of my mind a
_tabula rasa_. I have an appointment at some distance from here in
less than half an hour. Might I ask you to give me my property without
any unnecessary delay?"
"With pleasure, on your describing it."
"Unfortunately there again you have me at a disadvantage. The purse
was my daughter's, lent to me only for the day. I have not preserved a
sufficiently clear mental picture to enable me to furnish you with an
adequate description."
"But your daughter can?"
"Precisely, if she were in town. But she is not in town. And it is of
paramount importance that I should at once regain possession of the
property. If you will allow me to look at it I shall be able to tell
at a glance if it is mine."
"I am afraid that I must request you to describe the purse lost before
I show you the one I found."
He drew himself up.
"I trust, sir, that your words are not intended to convey a
reflection?"
"Not at all. Only, as I have not breakfasted, and you have an
appointment to keep, it might be as well if you were at once to
communicate with your daughter, and request her to favour you with the
necessary description."
"Excuse me, sir, but you mistake your man. I am a gentleman, sir, like
you--a university man, sir. I came here to regain possession of my
property; you are in possession of that property; until you return it
to me I do not intend to quit this house." As he had suddenly raised
his voice, and evinced symptoms of raising it higher, I opened the
front door by way of a hint. On the doorstep stood one of the
unemployed, the remnant of a woollen muffler twisted round his neck.
"Beg pardon, guv'nor, I've come for my purse."
"What purse?"
"You know very well what purse--the purse what's advertised. You hand
it over to me, and I'm game to pay all costs. It's mine. I lost it."
"Describe the one you had the misfortune to lose."
"It was a leather purse."
"Then that is not the purse I found."
"Shammy leather, I mean."
"Nor is it shammy leather."
"Covered with sealskin outside."
"Nor is it covered with sealskin outside."
"Just you take and let me have a look at it. I'll soon tell you if
it's mine."
"Before the purse is shown to any claimant he must satisfactorily
describe it."
"Very well; that's all about it. If it ain't mine, it ain't mine. You
needn't be nasty."
"I have no intention of being nasty."
"Then don't be. Because a pore feller loses his purse he don't need to
be trampled on. You can be pore but honest."
With the utterance of this trite and, possibly, admirable observation
the man strolled off, with his hands in his pockets. My clerical
friend, who had lingered in the hall, endeavoured to take me by the
button-hole. He addressed me in a confidential whisper.
"Pardon me, sir, but circumstances over which I have no control have
temporarily crippled my resources. Since, from motives which I
understand, and which I honour, sir, you prefer to continue to be the
custodian of my family property, might I with confidence ask you to
oblige me with a small loan till I am able to place myself in
communication with my daughter?"
"You might not."
"I fear that I am already late for my appointment. The only way to
reach it in time will be to take a cab. May I, at least, ask you to
enable me to pay the fare?"
"You may not."
He sighed.
"I believe you said you had not breakfasted? Neither, sir, have I. You
will hardly believe it, but it is a positive fact that I, a clergyman,
a master of arts of my university, have not tasted food for more than
four-and-twenty hours. If, sir, you will suffer me, a humble stranger,
to join you at your morning meal----"
"Good-day, sir."
He sighed again. Then, putting his hand up to his mouth, he asked, in
a sepulchral whisper:
"Will you lend me sixpence?"
"I won't--not one farthing."
Then he went, shaking his head as he passed down the steps, as if the
burden of this world pressed on him more weightily than ever. He was
still descending the steps when a cab dashed up, from the interior of
which an elderly gentleman flourished an umbrella.