"It is hardly necessary for me to make any comment. Those of you who are
most astute, and others of you who flunked my course before and are now
taking it the second time, of course know what is coming.
"During the age in which this John Jones lived, there lived also a man,
a so-called scientist called Metchnikoff. We know, from a study of our
vast collection of Egyptian Papyri and Carnegie Library books, that this
Metchnikoff promulgated the theory that old age--or rather senility--was
caused by colon-bacillus. This fact was later verified. But while he was
correct in the etiology of senility, he was crudely primeval in the
therapeutics of it.
"He proposed, gentlemen, to combat and kill this bacillus by utilizing
the fermented lacteal fluid from a now extinct animal called the cow,
models of which you can see at any time at the Solaris Museum."
A chorus of shrill, piping laughter emanated from the brass cylinder.
The professor waited until the merriment had subsided and then
continued:
"I beg of you, gentlemen, do not smile. This was merely one of the many
similar quaint superstitions existing in that age.
"But a real scientist, Professor K122B62411Male, again attacked the
problem in the twenty-fifth century. Since the cow was now extinct, he
could not waste his valuable time experimenting with fermented cow
lacteal fluid. He discovered the old _v_-rays of Radium--the rays which
you physicists will remember are not deflected by a magnetic field--were
really composed of two sets of rays, which he termed the _g_ rays and
the _e_ rays. These last named rays--only when isolated--completely
devitalized all colon-bacilli which lay in their path, without in the
least affecting the integrity of any interposed organic cells. The great
result, as many of you already know, was that the life of man was
extended to nearly two hundred years. That, I state unequivocally, was a
great century for the human race.
* * * * *
"But I spoke of another happening--one, perhaps, of more interest than
importance. I referred to the bank account of John Jones the fortieth.
It, gentlemen, had grown to such a prodigious sum that a special bank
and board of directors had to be created in order to care for, and
reinvest it. By scanning the following notation, you will perceive the
truth of my statement: