THE STRUGGLE AT THE BORDERLAND
The thing stood waiting as Will drew us toward it. Fear swept over me.
Yet the very sense of fear brought with it a reassurance, for it was
the physical I feared; the vanished sense of my body was not entirely
gone, for now I was fearing its welfare.
My voice protested, "Will. Wait. That thing there--"
"It is friendly, Rob."
The fear died. I remembered what now seemed obvious; Will had been
leading us somewhere with a set purpose. To meet this friendly thing,
of course; this thing which doubtless he had met before. I stared at
it as we approached. A dim, opaque grey shape like ourselves but it
seemed formless, sexless; neither human nor unhuman--a shape merely--a
something poised there of which my mind seemed able to form no
conception. Then I heard Will say to Bee:
"A girl, Bee--you understand--Rob, listen. We must cling to the
realities of our world. There are no other words--no other
conceptions--with which we can think these unthought things. This is a
girl----"
I thought it was a girl; and at once I fancied that I could distinguish
her. Standing there with a phantom barn and haystack of our own world
above and behind her. A girl like Bee. I could see the grey-formed
outlines of her; vaguely flowing draperies; long hair; a face of human
beauty with a queer wistful look--she was smiling at Will--a friendly
smile--.
All this I thought I saw; and in the thinking, brought it to reality.
Into my mind then flashed a clearer understanding. This Borderland--and
the other inner realm lying beyond it which soon we were to
enter--could no more be compared to the world we had left than an apple
can be added to an orange. The very essence of every thought we now
were thinking was different--incomparable. Yet within our minds was
some lingering, unchangeable quality--call it Ego; so that these new
things must be clothed in the fashion of the old.
My words grow futile? I can only say then that this first encountered
being seemed like a girl, wistful of face; grey, colorless of aspect;
yet solid--as solid as ourselves which every moment was seeming a more
normal solidity.
Will touched her. "Rob--Bee--this is Ala--she has been waiting for us."
Her voice said, "I am Ala who will do what I can to help you."
The tone seemed soft, liquid, musical and wholly feminine. Soundless
words but clearly intoned as though I had heard them with a physical
ear.
Bee said, "Why, she speaks English."
It struck a note of whimsicality; the thought momentarily relieved the
tension under which I was laboring. And so I think it was with the
others; they were smiling; but Will's smile faded as he turned to us.
"You must keep on thinking things like that. Cling always to
normality." His voice was earnest. "You also, Ala--English you see, is
our language."
"But you are speaking my language," she said gravely.
"Of course," he agreed hurriedly. "Do not doubt it. All of you--I
think I understand best of us all. We must strive for our accustomed
normality. Remember--the mind now is nearly everything."
"I am--not really confused," I said.
It relieved him; he spoke more quietly. "This girl, Ala, came from her
own realm--wandered out here to see and feel for herself what madness
was possessing her people."
* * * * *
"It is strange," Ala said abruptly. "I am frightened--" Sudden terror
marked her features. I was standing nearest to her and her hand gripped
me. Again I felt that solidity. Normality. I was real; I laughed
contemptuously at all these shadows. The girl added anxiously:
"Cannot we go back? Now--where all is real--not like this. I--cannot
stay here much longer."
"We will go," said Will. "Bee--and you Rob--listen carefully. From now
on it is a question of the power of our minds--our will-power. If you
wander--weaken for a moment--we are lost. Keep thinking, I am here with
my friends. We are going together--going into the other realm." He
swung to the girl. "You, Ala, for you it is easier. But yield yourself
slowly. If you withdraw resistance you will rush beyond us. You
understand? Above everything else we must keep together."
She nodded.
We clung to each other. Ala began moving forward, drawing us onward up
that empty Borderland slope which now was steeply inclined. We passed
through the haystack--a mere shadow; passed upward through a corner of
the barn roof.
Beneath us now spread the phantom world we had left. But as my
thoughts dwelt on what we were going to do, the shadows of our earthly
realm seemed fading; growing dimmer, blurring as though about to
vanish. I watched them fearfully; when they were gone I would be in
darkness--pregnant darkness thronged with things unseeable. I thought
vehemently.
"We must keep together--we are going on into that other realm, Will
says we are--Will says we must keep together."
But my thought strayed. I remembered Will's house; the room we had
left--the little clock--Why, I fancied I almost saw it. Was I there,
back in that room?--Where was Bee?--Bee?--
I must have called her name in my thoughts, and at once she answered.
"Here Rob. Right here." And I felt the pressure of her hand.
A struggle of the mind. I knew then that every quality of mind inherent
to me was winging backward: tugging, pulling, but I fought against
it. And I became aware too of a different struggle within me. I had
sensed it for some time past but now it sprang into keen intensity.
A struggle of the physical. A vague racking pain possessed me. Dull,
detached seemingly from my consciousness, yet I knew it was the pain
of my body. It grew sharper. Not intolerable; but frightening with a
sense of horror. It permeated my every fiber; tingling with infinitely
tiny needles; and tugging, physically as my mind was tugging, to resume
its original state. Like a chip in an undertow, I was being drawn
backward....
"Now." I felt Will's tense voice. And Ala's soft words.
"We--are--passed. Hold me--now."
Someone was clutching my arm. I seemed floating, storm-tossed--a
feather blown in a wind I could not feel. But abruptly the struggle
ceased; vaguely I was conscious that my feet were standing upon
something solid--Will and Bee were here--Ala was here--I was a reality
once more, and there were rational thoughts to think and real things to
see.