'You appear to very decidedly turn your back upon some things.'
'I enjoy that view.'
He turned his eyes upon it for a moment. 'It is pretty enough in its
way.'
'In its way, indeed!' Then I presently went on: 'It is a way of quiet
loveliness, which has a great charm for me in its suggestions of peace
and rest. That house amidst the trees, by the hillside, has a special
attraction for me. Even you must allow it is a charming retreat.'
'That low house? It is well enough; but'--turning his eyes upon my
face, he added sharply: 'What do you want with rest and peace and
charming retreats? What right have you to be sighing for them?'
'Right? Surely every one has a right to them that can get them?'
'The right is only _fairly_ won by working for it; and what have you
done? I mean of course, in comparison with what you have the power to
do.'
I suppose I looked my surprise. He went on more gravely: 'Pardon me,
but I gave you credit for being one of the last to desire "inglorious
ease." I believed that even your life here, with its many demands, is
not quite enough for the exercise of your full strength. Rest and peace
are for the weak and vanquished.'
'Then I suppose it is feeling weak and vanquished which makes me
incline towards them.'
'A little morbidness, more likely; the need of something to fight
against. And yet,' he added musingly, 'there ought to be enough to
exercise your energies here.'
'There is enough to satisfy the most belligerent,' I replied, laughing
outright. 'I assure you there is ample opportunity for the exercise of
any power I may possess in that direction.'
'And you acknowledge yourself vanquished?'
'Not by anything here, Mr Wentworth.'
'I beg your pardon;' gravely. Then, with the abruptness of friendship,
he presently added: 'Did Trafford give you the _Westminster_? The paper
I marked ought to interest you.'
'No; he forgot, I suppose.'
'Oh, I see. I must be my own messenger next time, or--employ Becky. You
shewed some discrimination in giving her a step in life.'
'Becky! Do you know her?'
'A little.'
'Please do not be mysterious.'
'I made her acquaintance when---- You do not think I was so inhuman as
to let you go that day without keeping you in sight, in order to make
sure you came to no harm. And---- Well, I did not feel quite sure about
you, so kept about the place until I came upon Becky; and we two struck
up a friendship.'
'It was good of you.'
'Was it? I am too much accustomed to analyse motives to be quite sure
about that.'
'And you have been in Becky's confidence all this time!' I murmured a
little confusedly, with the consciousness of what that might mean.
'More than she imagines, perhaps; since she is no match for me in
diplomacy. I need not tell you she is leal.'
'No.'
'How different the ring of those two voices!' he presently added, as
the others again approached by the path running parallel with the
wall upon which we were sitting, and on the other side of the kitchen
garden, separating and screening us from observation, and across which
came the voices of Mrs Chichester and Lilian.
'I am glad that is evident to others as well as to me,' I rejoined. 'I
like to think they are dissimilar in the least as well as the greatest
points. Lilian will never become a woman of fashion.'
'Not while what she typifies is out of date.'
I knew that he meant the enthusiasm and romance--the delicate purity of
her mind, which was so harmoniously typified by her style of beauty.
Then following out my thought, I absently added: 'And you are his
friend.'
'We were together at Eton and Oxford. Our families are distantly
related; and he being four or five years my junior, was placed by his
father in some degree under my charge, though we were in different
sets.'
'I can imagine that.'
'He was a favourite at the university; and'--as though searching about
in his mind for some other good thing to say--'His love for her is
sincere.'
'Yes; thank God, it is that!'
'Mr Wentworth and Miss Haddon! I had not the least idea of finding
you here!' It was Mrs Chichester speaking, with the prettiest air of
surprise as she emerged from the side-path, though the keen glance with
which she measured the distance between him and me was not unobserved
by one of us. 'What a delightful retreat! May I join you?'--sitting
down by my side with a graceful little addendum about feeling fatigued,
and having found herself somewhat _de trop_ with the lovers.
'And gentlemen are so very frank with sisters in such cases--are they
not? Are you blest with brothers, Miss Haddon?' And so on, a list of
questions which brought out the facts that I was not only lacking in
brothers, but many other blessings.
'Quite alone in the great world, and an orphan. How very sad!'
Someway, whenever Mrs Chichester attempted to talk sentiment, it was
apt to degenerate into bathos; more perhaps from the contrast between
her face and manner and what she said, than from the words themselves.
'And past the age for charity schools, Mrs Chichester,' I smilingly
replied.
'Oh, but indeed, indeed, you must not think I meant anything of that
kind!' Then, turning towards Mr Wentworth in a pretty distressed way,
she entreated him to help her to persuade me that she had really meant
no harm. 'I assure you I had not the slightest intention to give
offence; do, pray, believe it, Miss Haddon.'
Mrs Chichester was always so terribly afraid of offending Miss Haddon,
and so extremely and obviously cautious lest any word of hers should
remind me of my position.
'Unfortunately the facts remain, however kind you may be about it, Mrs
Chichester,' I gravely replied. 'I _am_ an orphan, and alone in the
great world.'
'And so completely defenceless--so weak, and easily vanquished,'
gravely put in Robert Wentworth.
'Ah, now you are laughing at me!' she ejaculated, an angry light in her
eyes. 'I expected more courtesy from _you_, Mr Wentworth.'
'I assure you I was only repeating Miss Haddon's own sentiments, Mrs
Chichester.'
This was too bad. I suppose he meant it as a punishment for my little
exhibition of weakness. But I decided that the punishment was too great
for the offence, so quietly took up the gauntlet and bided my time.
Mrs Chichester diverged to other topics. Dear Lilian, so sweet
and good and trusting; so entirely unsuspicious of people, and so
forth; to which we could easily assent. But I was not sufficiently
enthusiastic upon the subject to please Mrs Chichester, it seemed; and
she took great pains to assure me that she did not in the least degree
exaggerate dear Lilian's perfections. But though he gravely assured me
that she did not, and even went so far as to hope that in time I should
become as fully alive to Miss Farrar's good qualities, I was not to be
piqued into giving warmer expression to my feelings. I only gave him a
smile for reply. Then I did what I believe was more satisfactory than
words to Mrs Chichester; rose and walked away, altogether unheeding
Robert Wentworth's almost pleading protest.
'The moon is just rising, Miss Haddon; and the view will be at its best
presently.'
But I chose to punish him for his bit of treachery; and walked off,
reminding them that it still wanted half an hour to tea-time. When the
half-hour had expired, they re-entered the drawing-room, where I was
sitting in pleasant communion with Mrs Tipper--both looking rather
grave, not to say out of humour.
'Do you always avenge yourself in that crushing way, Miss Haddon?' he
asked, coming to my side for a moment.
'I always defend myself in the best way I can when it comes to blows,
Mr Wentworth,' I gravely replied.
'And this is the young lady who fears being weak and vanquished!'
'Not with such weapons as have been used to-night, Mr Wentworth.'
'Well, do not talk any more about wanting rest and peace after shewing
how much you enjoy planting a home-thrust.'
'We were talking of a very different war and a very different peace to
this.'
'I suppose we were; and in that case it is for me to cry _peccavi_.'
'Yes.'
'Well, I will think about it. One should never do that on impulse.
Meantime, good-night.'
I gave him my hand with a smile. He then bade the others good-night,
and took his departure.
Mrs Chichester seemed to have lost her self-control a little. She
certainly found it difficult to be quite as sweet and gracious to me
as usual that night. I believe, too, that she had tried her influence
upon Lilian with respect to me, for the latter was more than usually
tender and loving when she came to my room that night for our little
_tête-à-tête_. There was just the difference which might be expected in
one of her nature after hearing anything against a friend.
'I love you, dear Mary--I love you. You must let me say it to-night.'
'Why to-night, of all nights in the year?' I smilingly rejoined.
'Because it does me real good to say it--because I must.'
'And it does me real good to hear you say it. Dear Lilian, do not you
see how precious your love is to _me_?'
I suppose that there was something in the tone which satisfied her. The
shadow passed from her face, and she looked her bright happy self as
she began to talk 'Arthur' again. She had long since divined that such
talk did not fatigue me.
'I really believe you must have a love-story of your own locked away
somewhere, or you would never be able to listen so patiently to me as
you do,' she laughingly ejaculated, intuitively lighting upon the true
reason for my sympathy, one evening when she had been more effusive on
the subject than usual. 'Ah, now I am sure of it!' she added, her quick
eyes, I suppose, detecting a consciousness in mine. 'And, O Mary, when
shall I be thought worthy to hear it?'
'As though you were not that now! Dear Lilian, I should like you to
know--of course you shall know; and yet I think I must ask you to allow
me to defer the telling it a little longer?'
'Of course I will. But I really think I can guess--a little. If I am
only right, how delightful it will be!'
Had I allowed her to go on--had I listened and explained, instead of
shrinking nervously away from the subject, would it have altered the
future? I was still shy and reserved about unlocking my treasure, even
for Lilian's eyes. I have acknowledged my morbid weakness upon the
point, and it did not decrease. But I very soon had something besides
myself to think about.