"FOOD FOR THE GODS."
Behold our household now settled in our city home,--our summer by the
sea, with all its many pleasures, and its measure of perplexities and
anxieties, a thing of the past; our stay at Oaklands, where papa had
enjoyed himself to his heart's content, all the more for his enforced
absence of the previous months, also over; and the different members of
the family, according to his or her individual taste, occupied with
divers plans and projects for the winter's duties and diversions.
In view of certain contingencies which were likely to arise in the
future,--father and mother said in the _far_ future; and, indeed,
although it was pleasant to contemplate them from a distant standpoint,
I was in no haste to leave my dearly beloved home,--in view of these,
and with the comfort and well-being of a certain young man before my
eyes, to say nothing of my own pride in my housekeeping capabilities, I
had chosen to enlist myself as a member of a "cooking-class." Said
cooking-class was to meet once a week, in the afternoon, at the house
of each member, in turn, when we were to try our maiden hands on the
composition of any such dishes as we might choose; after which, certain
martyrs--namely, the aforesaid young man, and sundry of his friends and
associates--were to be allowed to join us, and, in case they were not
too fearful of consequences, to test the results of our efforts. Milly,
who had a regular engagement for the afternoon appointed, was not able
to aid in the culinary efforts, but pleaded, that, as she contributed a
sister, she might be allowed to join the later entertainment of the
evening. And the plea was considered all sufficient, for who would not
choose Milly when she might be had? So said Bessie Sandford, our
inseparable friend and intimate; and there was no dissenting voice
among the gay circle of girls.
She did not intend, however, to be without her share in the flesh-pots
which were to furnish the more substantial part of the entertainment;
and having a natural gift for cooking,--a faculty in which I was
altogether wanting,--she promised to prepare some dainty dish
beforehand, and send it as her share in the feast.
My last essay in that line had been in the shape of some gingerbread,
of which article of diet father was very fond, and I had exerted my
energies on his behalf. When it was presented at the Sunday-evening
tea-table, the family, excepting papa, contented themselves with
viewing it respectfully from a distance; even old Thomas, as he passed
the plate, regarding it doubtfully and askance.
Father heroically endeavored to taste it; but mother, whose regard for
his physical well-being outweighed even her consideration for my
feelings, protested; and, with an air of relief, he obeyed the
suggestion.
"What did you say it is? Ginger _bricks_?" asked Douglas.
I took no notice of this, but later bade Thomas take all the
gingerbread down-stairs.
"Yes, Miss," he answered, with an "I wouldn't care if I were you" sort
of an air; and the gingerbread disappeared. The next morning, however,
as I went to the store-room to execute some small order for mother, our
old cook confronted me.
"Miss Amy," she said, "whatever will I do with that gingerbread? There
isn't one in the kitchen will touch it, not even them b'ys; an' all's
mostly grist that comes to their mills."
"Oh, give it away to any one that comes," I answered indifferently, and
concealing, as I best might, my chagrin at this added mortification.
But later in the day, Allie and Daisy, returning from their walk with
mammy, rushed into the house in a state of frantic indignation.
"Amy, Amy," they cried; "Mary Jane gave your gingerbread to a tramp,
and he looked at it and smelled it and tasted it, and then just laid it
on the area steps and ran away. And Jim saw him; and he picked up the
gingerbread, and broke it by throwing it on the sidewalk, and then
threw the pieces at the tramp; and one hit him, and it was so hard it
seemed to hurt him, but he just ran all the faster."
From that time, more than a year since, I had forsworn all manner of
cooking, but now it seemed to me that the exigencies of the case
required me to turn my thoughts to the matter; hence, when it was
proposed, I had been only too ready to join the cooking-class.
The lady who had, from pure love of her kind, and a special interest in
young girls, undertaken to superintend and direct our efforts, was an
old friend of my mother and aunt Emily; the dearest, the sweetest, the
most guileless, of maiden ladies, with a simplicity and lack of worldly
knowledge which were almost childlike, but very talented, and with a
mind intelligent and cultivated to an unusual degree.
She was also famous among us for all kinds of handiwork,--for the
delicious cakes, soups, and all manner of dishes which she could
concoct; for her painting and drawing, and her exquisite and original
fancy-work. Simple, although delicate, in her tastes, her personal
wants were but few; and being possessed of a small income, which placed
her beyond the need of employing her varied talents on her own behalf,
she delighted in turning them to account for others. She stood
singularly alone, with no direct family ties or responsibilities; and
probably no human being but herself ever knew the amount of work
accomplished by those slender, high-bred looking hands for the benefit
and delight of others. The beautiful paintings and embroideries which
she sent to the various societies for art work, and which were always
accepted without demur, meeting as they did with an ever ready sale,
brought their profits, not to her, but to others less gifted and more
needy than herself. And many a dainty trifle wrought by her graced some
sick-room, or home of straitened means, where there was neither time
nor talent to be given for such adornment.
Careless as to the prevailing mode, although exceedingly neat about her
own personal attire, she was somewhat quaint and old-fashioned in
appearance; at least, she had been until a short time since, when Milly
and I, with Bessie Sandford, who was also a distant relation of Miss
Craven's, had taken her in hand, and by dint of a little teasing, and
much persistence and coaxing, had induced her to submit herself to our
dictation in the matter of dress. But she could not, quite yet,
reconcile herself to our requirements; at least, not without a little
flutter and protest against such innovations as we insisted
upon,--against tied-back skirts, hair a little more in the fashion than
she had been accustomed to wear hers, and collars and fichus of a more
modern date:
Hearing, the dear soul, that certain of our circle of girls were
anxious to attain some practical knowledge of cooking, and to attach to
the acquisition of that knowledge such "fun" as we might, she had
offered, when applied to for certain of her receipts, to instruct the
class which we were desirous of forming. The offer was eagerly seized
upon, and so it came to pass that she had been installed as teacher and
director of the mysteries in which we were about to dabble.
Miss Craven,--"cousin Serena," as we always called her--had been one of
the warmest advocates of Milly's cause, when that young woman was
intent on taking upon herself the charge of Bill and Jim; and, had
Milly not been allowed to do so, I think that she would have undertaken
it herself. She was continually making little gifts to these boys, not
always, it is true, just adapted to their needs or to their fancies;
but they had the grace, rough as their antecedents had been, to
appreciate the kindness which prompted them; and their room in the
stable was decked with many a little bit of ornamentation bestowed by
her. For one of her pet theories was, that one could educate the masses
to a refining love of art, if one only kept such elevating influences
constantly before them.
The first meeting of the cooking-class was held at our house. Most of
the girls were content to try their hands on this occasion on some
simple dish; but I--more ambitious, and also for excellent reasons of
my own--had determined to provide a certain delicate and highly
flavored cream. In order that there might be no failure in this, and
that I might, by an unqualified success, retrieve my reputation, I
surreptitiously sought in advance two or three private lessons from
Miss Craven. These she was only too ready to give; and after practising
at home, closely following her directions, and assisted by old Thomas,
who was almost as anxious for my triumph as I was myself, I succeeded
in turning out my cream, pure, rich, white, just the right consistency,
and deliciously flavored. It was but a small quantity, however; just a
trial sample, not enough for family distribution; and, calling Allie
and Daisy to the secret session which Thomas and I were holding in the
butler's pantry, I divided the luscious morsel between them, exacting,
first, the most solemn promise of secrecy. Allie demurred to this at
first, having conscientious scruples about keeping any thing from
mother; but she was finally persuaded to look upon it as a preparation
for an agreeable surprise, as I assured her that this was only the
prelude to a more extensive treat to the whole family, as well as the
class. Moreover, the sight of the dainty, and Daisy's enjoyment of it,
were too much for her, she having rather a leaning towards the
flesh-pots.
I was quite uplifted in my own estimation for the next twenty-four
hours or so, and pleased myself mightily with the thought of out-doing
all the other girls with my dainty, luscious dish. Allie and Daisy
could be trusted "not to tell," when they had once given their promise;
but they went about with a portentous aspect of having a secret, which
almost made me regret that I had taken them into my confidence.
It being leap-year, and our advantages, or possibly disadvantages, in
connection with that period being about to come to an end with the
close of the year, we had determined upon making the most of them.
Hence our guests, when they should arrive, were to submit to be waited
upon, and to receive such attentions as they were accustomed to bestow
upon us.
The day and the hour had arrived, and the members of the class, each
one with an enormous protecting apron over her pretty dress, had
assembled in our front basement, which, being convenient to the kitchen
and store-room, had been chosen as the workshop for the occasion. Each
was intent on her own dish, and each in her turn was superintended and
overlooked by cousin Serena; but merry talk and laughter held their
own, in spite of business.
"What are you making, Amy?" asked Mollie Morgan. "How delicious and
creamy that looks, and how readily you go to work about it. Why, I
thought you were no cook at all; but one would think you had been doing
that all your life. What is it?" she repeated, as I cast a guilty,
deprecating look at Miss Craven. But cousin Serena had no thought of
betraying me, and, although she must have heard, paid no attention to
Mollie's remarks.
"It's food for the gods," I answered carelessly, as I tossed the
luscious compound about with a spoon.
"Do you mean that is the name, or that it is your opinion that it is
worthy to be food for the gods?" asked Bessie Sanford, who paused at my
elbow, bearing in her hands a tray of delicate sponge-cakes.
"Both," I answered.
"Amy is ambitious; see what she is making, girls," said Mollie; and
several, gathering round, peered at the diet of the gods with, as I
imagined, envy and admiration.
"There!" I said, triumphantly, and as though I were a _cordon bleu_,
accustomed to turn off feasts for an emperor--"There, now it is ready
to go into the moulds. Oh, no, I have forgotten the flavoring. Jim,"
for the boy was there to wait upon us, and to run upon errands--"Jim,
go and ask Mary Jane for a bottle of vanilla flavoring."
Now, I might have known better than to send Jim on this errand, for
between him and Mary Jane there was a state of warfare, due, I must
say, to her ill-temper and prejudice. Formerly it had been productive
of much annoyance and discomfort to the household, and had at last
reached such a climax, that father, who never interfered in domestic
details, had unexpectedly taken the matter in hand, and given the old
woman such a warning, that she had not since that time dared to give
open vent to her dislike. But the fires, though smouldering, still were
alive; and Jim never cared to ask her for any thing, or to carry a
message to her.
However, now he ran into the kitchen, and presently returned with a
bottle which he handed to me. Glancing at it, I saw that it was
properly labelled, and I flavored with the contents according to
directions; and, nothing doubting, then called upon cousin Serena to
stamp it with her approbation, which she did. After which I poured the
mixture into the moulds, and set it away.
Fairly well satisfied with the results of our afternoon's work, we
removed such traces of it as had left their impress, took a short rest,
and were ready in due time to receive our leap-year guests.
We were to have a high tea; the rest of our family, with cousin Serena,
dining at an earlier hour than usual to accommodate us, and taking
their later repast in the library.
There was naturally much fun and jollity over the reversal of the usual
order of things, and we carried out our programme to the farthest;
while our gentlemen displayed a degree of inefficiency and helplessness
which would have disgraced a six-year-old girl with a moderate amount
of sense.
All went well during the earlier part of the feast. Dish after dish was
partaken of, and commended; and there was a universal chorus of
approval for the fair cooks.
"It is going to pass off without a failure," I said to myself,
recalling triumphantly the scepticism as to our capabilities, which
some of our friends had testified.
And now appeared, in its turn, my own dish,--the "food for the
gods,"--brought by Thomas and his assistants, with a little extra
flourish as the work of their own young lady.
We were in groups of four, at little tables placed about the room; and
the gentlemen, as had been arranged, were helped first to each course.
Happening to raise my eyes to address the youth upon my right hand, I
saw his countenance suddenly distorted by a contortion expressive of
any thing but pleasure. Turning involuntarily to my left-hand neighbor,
who happened to be Mr. Winston, I saw a grimace, almost similar, pass
over his face, followed by a look of blank astonishment at me.
Then came the voice of my brother Edward from an adjoining table, as he
sat with uplifted spoon, gazing down upon the contents of his plate.
"Amy," he said, "what under the heavens is this?"
"Food for the gods," I answered, startled and dismayed; for I could not
help seeing that something must be very wrong to betray Edward into
such a breach of etiquette.
"Then we will not deprive the gods of it," said my brother; "and may
the celestial--or was it for the infernal deities that it was
compounded?--forgive you for inflicting this upon them. Winston, spare
yourself, my dear fellow; the utmost stretch of politeness could not
demand such a sacrifice of you."
For Fred Winston, true gentleman and loyal knight that he was, was
making the most heroic efforts to swallow a little more of my
handiwork.
And this from Edward, usually the most chivalrous of brothers!
I glanced around the room, and saw a similar state of affairs on every
side. All those who had been unfortunate enough to taste the "food for
the gods" wore a more or less distressed expression. I plunged my own
spoon into my plate, and carried it to my mouth.
Pah! Any thing more nauseous I had seldom tasted. The gods were indeed
to be pitied!
I covered my face with my hands as a laugh pealed around the room; and
Norman came dashing into it, and up to me.
"Amy," he said, in a loud whisper which could be heard by all, "mother
says don't let any one touch that stuff of yours. It's awful!"
"Awful" indeed! But it was too late; enough tasting had been done to
cover me, as I felt, with everlasting disgrace.
"Amy was so awfully cock-a-hoop about her new dish, too," began Norman;
"and now----"
But his brotherly remarks were cut short by my left-hand neighbor, with
an intimation, that, if he had any regard for his physical or mental
well-being, he would at least postpone them.
Overcome with mortification and chagrin, I would fain have left the
room, not only to hide my diminished head, but also to consult cousin
Serena on the possible cause of this mishap, when Jim came up to me,
and said, in an aside even louder than Norman's,--
"Miss Amy, it wouldn't poison none of 'em, would it?"
When Jim had any thing on his mind it must come out, regardless of time
or place; and there was that in the boy's tone and manner which
instantly convinced me that he knew more than appeared on the surface,
and I turned hastily to him:--
"Poison any one? Why should it?" I asked.
"It's the liniment, Miss Amy," he answered nervously; "an', if they was
poisoned, me or you might be took up. We'd best have a doctor, maybe."
Matters were growing serious; and springing from my seat, without
apology to my guests, I bade the boy come into Thomas's pantry. Thither
I was followed by Fred and Edward, who heard the confession of the
frightened lad.
"It's the liniment, Miss Amy," he repeated. "Mary Jane's liniment for
her rheumatics; but I think it ought to be her to be took up more than
you an' me."
"Speak out, boy, and tell us what you mean," said Edward, imperatively;
for he felt, that, if there was any reason for Jim's alarm, there was
no time to be lost.
Thus pressed, Jim said that when I had sent him for the flavoring, he
had caught up a bottle which he supposed to be the right one, and ran
back without consulting the old cook.
Nothing doubting, I had made use of the contents; and he had possessed
his soul in peace until a few minutes since, when Thomas had sent him
on an errand to the kitchen, and he had heard Mary Jane bewailing the
loss of her bottle of "rheumatiz liniment." She at once charged him
with hiding it to torment her, but, before he could defend himself, one
of the other servants asked what kind of a bottle it was; to which she
replied, that it was a vanilla-bottle into which she had emptied the
liniment, as that in which the lotion belonged had been cracked, and
that she had stood it "just there."
A horrible conviction rushed upon Jim: "just there" was the place from
which he had taken the bottle he brought to me. He dashed into the
front basement, found there the bottle in question, and speedily
verified his own fears; then hurried up-stairs to prevent Thomas from
taking in the "food for the gods." Alas! it was too late: the dish was
already dispensed, a due portion having also been sent in to the
tea-table in the library; and my disgrace was an accomplished fact.
Dread of the after consequences now took possession of Jim, and this
impelled him to an immediate disclosure of the mistake. Indeed, none of
us were without our misgivings; and Edward, sending for the bottle,
went with it at once to our family physician, who lived but a few doors
from us.
Dr. Graham laughed heartily when he heard of the mishap, and told
Edward that there was no cause for alarm; as, although he would not
advise unlimited indulgence in the lotion as a beverage, such harmful
qualities as its ingredients possessed would be reduced to a minimum
when mixed in the proportion Edward mentioned with the other articles
of which the "food for the gods" was compounded.
So the matter became a joke to every one but me and the old cook, who
received a severe reprimand for her carelessness in putting the
liniment in an improper receptacle, and then leaving it in an improper
place.
Thus ended my attempt at culinary distinction; a regard for the
well-being of my friends and even for their lives, inducing me to quit
the field without further trial of my powers.
What a long tale about a foolish mistake, it may be said; but, as
"great events from little causes spring," the results of that mistake
were vast and far-reaching, and we had not yet heard the last of the
"food for the gods."