HOW THE SPOOK CORRESPONDED WITH THE TURKISH WAR
OFFICE AND GOT A REPLY
I woke at sunset to find Doc. O’Farrell bending over me. “Doctors been
here?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.
I nodded.
“And what’s the result?”
“Did you see the sentry at the door?” I asked.
“Don’t tell me you’re found out,” Doc. moaned, “or I’ll never forgive
myself.”
“All right, Doc. dear! The sentry’s there to prevent us committing
suicide!”
Doc. stared a moment, and then doubled up with laughter that had to be
silent because of the Turk outside.
“Like to see the medical reports?” I asked, handing him the Pimple’s
translation.
He began to read. At the first sentence he burst into a loud guffaw, and
thrust the reports hastily out of sight. Luckily the gamekeeper at the
door paid no attention. The Doc. apologized for his indiscretion and
managed to read the rest in silence.
“Think we’ve a chance?” Hill asked, as he finished.
“Ye’re a pair of unmitigated blackguards,” said the Doc., “an’ I’m sorry
for the leech that’s up against you. There’s only one thing needed to
beat the best specialist in Berlin or anywhere else, but as you both aim
at getting to England you can’t do it.”
“What is that?” we asked.
“One of ye commit suicide!” said the Doc., laughing.
“By Jove! That’s a good idea!” I cried. “We’ll _both_ try it.”
“Don’t be a fool!” he began sharply, then—seeing the merriment in our
eyes—“Oh! be natural! Be natural an’ you’ll bamboozle Æsculapius
himself.” He dodged the pillow Hill threw at him and clattered down the
stairs chuckling to himself.
Within five minutes of his going we decided to hang ourselves—“within
limits”—on the way to Constantinople.
A little later the Pimple arrived, with the compliments and thanks of
the Commandant to the Spook, and would the Spook be so kind as to
dictate a telegram about us to the War Office? The Spook was most
obliging, and somewhere amongst the Turkish archives at Constantinople
the following telegram reposes:
“For over a year two officer prisoners here have spent much time in
study of spiritualism and telepathy, and have shown increasing signs of
mental derangement which recently have become very noticeable. I
therefore summoned our military doctors Major Osman and Captain Suhbi
Fahri who after examination diagnosed melancholia in the case of Hill
and fixed delusion in the case of Jones and advised their despatch to
Constantinople for observation and treatment. Doctors warn me these two
officers may commit suicide or violence. I respectfully request I may be
allowed to send them as soon as possible. Transport will be available in
a few days when prisoners from Changri arrive. If permitted I shall send
them with necessary escort under charge of my Interpreter who can watch
and look after them en route and give any further information required
by the specialists. Until his return may I have the services of the
Changri Interpreter? My report together with the report of the doctors,
follows by post. Submitted for favour of urgent orders.”
This spook-telegram was sent by the Commandant on 14th April, 1918, at 5
p.m. The same night the Spook dictated a report on our case, of a
character so useful to the Constantinople specialists that Kiazim was
thanked for it by his superiors at headquarters. The spook-report (which
should also be among the Constantinople archives) is as follows:
“In reference to my wire of 14th April I beg to report as follows: As
will be seen from the enclosed medical reports written by Major Osman
and Captain Suhbi Fahri, the Military Medical Officers of Yozgad, there
are two officers in this camp who are suffering from grave mental
disease. The doctors recommend their despatch to Constantinople for
observation and treatment, and I beg to urge that this be done as early
as possible, as the doctors warn me they may commit suicide or violence,
and I am anxious to avoid any such trouble in this camp.
“In addition to the information contained in the medical reports I beg
to submit the following facts for guidance and consideration. The two
officers are Lieut. Hill and Lieut. Jones. The former came here with the
prisoners from Katia. The latter from Kut-el-Amara. I have made
enquiries about both. I find Lieut. Hill has always been a remarkably
silent and solitary man. He has the reputation of never speaking unless
spoken to, and then only answers in monosyllables. During his stay here
he has been growing more and more morose and gloomy. Lieut. Jones is
regarded by his fellow-prisoners as eccentric and peculiar. I myself
have noticed an increasing slovenliness in his dress since he came here.
I learn that he has done a number of little things which caused his
comrades to regard him as peculiar. For instance, sixteen months ago he
spent a week sliding down the stairs in his house and calling himself
the ‘Toboggan King.’ On another occasion when receiving a parcel from
England in this office he expressed disgust at the ‘rubbish’ which was
sent him, and drawing out a pocket-knife he slashed into ribbons a
valuable waterproof sheet which had been included in his parcel. This
was about a year ago.[45] Such appears to be the reputation of these two
officers in the camp.
“About eighteen months ago a number of officers began to take up
spiritualism. Among these Jones was prominent. He asserted he was in
communication with the dead and for some time he even published the news
he thus obtained. I do not know when Hill began, but he also was a keen
spiritualist. They have both spent a great deal of their time in this
pursuit. Whether or not this has anything to do with their present
condition I cannot say. Many other officers did the same and I saw no
reason to interfere as I considered it a legitimate amusement.
“These two officers also appear to have studied what they call
‘telepathy,’ and about two or three months ago they gave an exhibition
of thought-reading, part of which my Interpreter saw and which
considerably surprised their fellow-officers. Later Hill and Jones
asserted they were in communication (telepathic) with people in Europe
and elsewhere as well as with the dead. Early in March, as I reported to
you in my letter of the 18th March, Jones and Hill were found guilty on
a charge of attempting to communicate with some person in Yozgad whose
name they refused to give, and as I reported, I confined them in a
separate house and forbade any intercourse with the rest of the camp. I
allowed them to have their food sent in from Major Baylay’s house, which
is near.
“While in confinement these two officers appear to have got the idea
that their comrades in the camp disliked them, and this idea developed
into delusion and terror that they were going to be murdered. Their
condition became so grave that I called in the two medical officers, who
had no hesitation, after examining them, in recommending their despatch
to Constantinople.
“Meantime, until their departure, by the advice of Major Osman and
Captain Suhbi Fahri, I have posted a special guard over the patients to
prevent them from doing themselves or others any harm.
“With regard to the journey, as reported in my telegram I beg leave to
send them under charge of my Interpreter with a sufficient escort, as
the sufferers are accustomed to him and he will be able to understand
their wants, and especially because knowing all they have done he may be
of assistance to the specialists in their enquiry. Until his return I
would like the services of the Changri Interpreter, but if necessary,
for a short time, I could communicate any orders that may be necessary
direct as several British officers here know a little Turkish.”
The report was posted on the 15th April. On the 16th the Commandant
received from Constantinople the following telegram in answer to the
Spook’s wire:
“Number 887. 15th April. Urgent. Very important. Answer to your cipher
wire No. 77. Under your proposed arrangement send to the Hospital of
Haidar Pasha the two English Officers who have to be under observation.
Communicate with the Commandant Changri.—KEMAL.”
“Hurrah!” said Moïse, when he brought us the news, “the Spook has
controlled Constantinople!”