_Monday, March 31st._--Colonel WILLIAM THORNE has the credit of
eliciting from the Government the most hopeful statement about Peace
which has yet been made. To the hon. and gallant Member's suggestion
that May 1st should be declared a general holiday, if Peace was signed
before that date, Mr. BONAR LAW replied that it would be considered.
It is fortunate that the PARLIAMENTARY SECRETARY TO THE BOARD OF TRADE
possesses a most imperturbable character. He is daily bombarded with
the most diverse questions regarding the effects of the Government's
fiscal policy. The paper manufacturers are being ruined because
paper is being allowed in; export traders are suffering because glass
bottles are kept out; the textile trades cannot compete with their
foreign rivals because of the high price of olive-oil. But for all
inquirers Mr. BRIDGEMAN has a soft answer, delivered in level tones,
discouraging further catechism.
A delightful inconsistency is one of Lord HENRY CAVENDISH-BENTINCK'S
many claims upon the affection of the House. Not long ago he wrote a
book in praise of Toryism as a democratic creed; so it was perfectly
natural that when Mr. CECIL HARMSWORTH (a Coalition Liberal) had
explained that law and order must be restored before an inquiry could
usefully be held into the causes of the Egyptian riots Lord HENRY
should burst out with, "When will my hon. friend begin to apply
Liberal principles?"
Mr. BOTTOMLEY is the latest convert to "P.R.," as the result of a
mock-election in which he came out top of the poll, with the PRIME
MINISTER second, Mr. HOGGE third, and Messrs. BALFOUR and ASQUITH
among the "also ran;" but Mr. BONAR LAW, who can be very dense when he
likes, did not see in that an argument for the general adoption of the
system.
The "Wee Frees" made a last and unavailing attempt to defeat the new
Military Service Bill. Mr. GEORGE THORNE, Major HAYWARD and others
made great play with the PRIME MINISTER'S "No Conscription" pledge,
and Mr. NEWBOULD in a maiden speech declared that what West Leyton
had said yesterday England would say to-morrow. But it was noticeable
that not one of the opponents of the Bill was unwilling to give the
Government the powers they required if they were really necessary.
Mr. CHURCHILL revealed himself in a new _rôle_ as a financier, and
proved to his own satisfaction that the Army Estimates of £506,500,000
would, if properly manipulated, work out at little more than a fourth
of that amount. Between now and the Budget Mr. CHAMBERLAIN might do
worse than get his versatile colleague to explain away the National
Debt.
[Illustration: THE PROMISE OF MAY.
_Peace_. "IF YOU'RE WAKING, CALL ME EARLY, CALL ME EARLY, BONAR DEAR,
FOR I'M TO BE QUEEN OF THE MAY, BONAR; I'M TO BE QUEEN OF THE MAY."]
_Tuesday, April 1st_.--Twenty years ago there used to be a not
infrequent headline in _The Times_, "The Duke of Devonshire on
Technical Education," which always struck on my frivolous spirit
with a touch of infinite prose. It is the same nowadays, I regret to
say, with a Lords' debate on the national resources. The Upper House
is filled with eminent financiers--men who think in millions and
who under our glorious Constitution may not propose an expenditure
of sixpence without the consent of Tom, Dick and Harry in the
Commons--and they all talk the most excellent good sense. But whether
such unimpeachable truisms as that "this huge Debt is going to be a
terrible handicap to this country" (Lord LANSDOWNE), or that "what
applies to private credit and private economy may be in the main taken
to apply to public economy and also to public credit" (Lord CREWE),
are going to have much effect upon the demands of the Labour Party, to
whom they were directly addressed, I am rather inclined to doubt.
It is refreshing to note, however, that the Commons had a brief
spasm of economy. Under the financial resolution of the Ways and
Communications Bill the new Minister would have had almost unlimited
powers of initiating great enterprises without the consent of
Parliament. Mr. R.J. MCNEILL alluded (without acknowledgment to Mr.
Punch) to the hero _Eric; or, Little by Little_, and urged that
not even "a Napoleon of administration" ought to be trusted with
a blank cheque. He rather spoilt a good case by referring to the
new Minister's financial relations with his late employers, the
North-Eastern Railway; but his argument was so far successful that
Mr. BONAR LAW undertook first that a Treasury watchdog should be
permanently installed in the new Ministry, with instructions to bark
whenever he saw any sign of extravagance; and, secondly, that the
Minister should not have power to initiate any enterprise involving
large expenditure--he suggested a million as a moderate limit--without
the direct sanction of Parliament.
After this achievement Members felt that a rest was necessary. So the
Housing Bill was postponed, and after two or three Scottish Bills had
received a second reading the House counted itself out, and Members
went to their dinners feeling as comfortably virtuous as the Boy Scout
who has done his good deed for the day.
_Wednesday, April 2nd_.--The unemployment donation was the theme of
innumerable inquiries. The MINISTER OF LABOUR was forced to admit
that Parliament had at present furnished him with no direct authority
to spend a million or so a week on this form of out-door relief, but
hoped that it would be kind enough to do so when the Appropriation
Bill came along. A statement that in Ireland men were coming for their
donation in motorcars aroused the sympathy of Mr. JACK JONES, who said
that surely they were entitled to an occasional ride, but did not go
so far as to suggest that the Government should organise a service of
cars to be at their disposal.
A suggestion to incorporate in the Army Annual Bill one of Dora's most
stringent regulations for the prevention of criticism upon military
matters aroused much indignation. Mr. BEN TILLETT observed that,
if it were retained, Lord NORTHCLIFFE, Mr. BOTTOMLEY and even Sir
HENRY DALZIEL might soon be conducting their various journals from a
prison-cell. This possibility may have mitigated but it did not wholly
remove the objections to the clause, which Mr. CHURCHILL ultimately
withdrew.
A debate on the popular theme, "Make Germany Pay!" was initiated by
Col. CLAUDE LOWTHER, who not long ago produced a specific scheme for
extracting twenty-five thousand millions from the enemy--a scheme
which by its unconventional handling of the rules of arithmetic
excited the amazed admiration of professional financiers. Possibly Mr.
BONAR LAW, as ex-Chancellor of the Exchequer, was jealous because he
had not thought of it first. At any rate he subjected the plan to so
much caustic criticism that Col. LOWTHER, having appealed in vain for
the protection of his namesake in the Chair, walked out of the House.
[Illustration: _Treasury Bulldog (to Minister of Transportation)_.
"ERIC--NAUGHTY!"]
_Thursday, April 3rd_.--Some of NAPOLEON'S many complaints of his
treatment at St. Helena concerned the cost and quality of his food.
The exile of Amerongen need have no fears on that score should the
Allies decide to remove him to Longwood, for the present Governor has
been so successful in keeping down the price of foodstuffs that the
merchants of the island have petitioned for his recall.
The CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER has so far relaxed his _non-possumus_
attitude on the joint income-tax question as to consent to receive
a deputation of Members interested, and even to allow them to be
accompanied by a small number of ladies. Mr. CHAMBERLAIN, by the
way, has exchanged his hereditary monocle for a pair of ordinary
spectacles, which may account for his taking a less one-sided view of
this question.
Mr. T.P. O'CONNOR now enjoys the distinction of being the "Father"
of the House of Commons, having sat there uninterruptedly since the
General Election of 1880. Perhaps his new dignity sits rather heavily
on his youthful spirit, for his speech on the Irish Estimates was
painfully lugubrious. He took some comfort from a statement in _The
Times_ that "We are all Home Rulers now," but as a veteran journalist
he is probably aware that what _The Times_ says to-day it will not
necessarily say to-morrow.
"Leave politics alone and give us decent houses for our people
and better education for our children" was Sir EDWARD CARSON'S
prescription for invalid Erin; and Mr. IAN MACPHERSON, making his
first speech as Chief Secretary, indicated that he meant to apply it.
But the patient is suffering from so many disorders at present that
she must have a tonic--with iron in it--before her Constitution can
be regarded as completely restored.
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