MR. NEEFIT AGAIN.
The last few days in March and the first week in April were devoted
by Ralph the heir to a final visit to the Moonbeam. He had resolved
to finish the hunting season at his old quarters, and then to remove
his stud to Newton. The distinction with which he was welcomed
by everybody at the Moonbeam must have been very gratifying to
him. Though he had made no response whatever to Lieutenant Cox's
proposition as to a visit to Newton, that gentleman received him as a
hero. Captain Fooks also had escaped from his regiment with the sole
object of spending these last days with his dear old friend. Fred
Pepper too was very polite, though it was not customary with Mr.
Pepper to display friendship so enthusiastic as that which warmed the
bosoms of the two military gentlemen. As to Mr. Horsball, one might
have thought from his manner that he hoped to engage his customer to
remain at the Moonbeam for the rest of his life. But it was not so.
It was in Mr. Horsball's nature to be civil to a rich hunting country
gentleman; and it was the fact also that Ralph had ever been popular
with the world of the Moonbeam,--even at times when the spasmodic,
and at length dilatory, mode of his payment must have become matter
for thought to the master of the establishment. There was no doubt
about the payments now, and Ralph's popularity was increased
fourfold. Mrs. Horsball got out from some secluded nook a special
bottle of orange-brandy in his favour,--which Lieutenant Cox would
have consumed on the day of its opening, had not Mrs. Horsball with
considerable acrimony declined to supply his orders. The sister with
ringlets smiled and smirked whenever the young Squire went near the
bar. The sister in ringlets was given to flirtations of this kind,
would listen with sweetest complacency to compliments on her beauty,
and would return them with interest. But she never encouraged this
sort of intimacy with gentlemen who did not pay their bills, or with
those whose dealings with the house were not of a profitable nature.
The man who expected that Miss Horsball would smile upon him because
he ordered a glass of sherry and bitters or half-a-pint of pale ale
was very much mistaken; but the softness of her smiles for those who
consumed the Moonbeam champagne was unbounded. Love and commerce
with her ran together, and regulated each other in a manner that was
exceedingly advantageous to her brother. If I were about to open such
a house as the Moonbeam the first thing I should look for would be
a discreet, pleasant-visaged lady to assist me in the bar department,
not much under forty, with ringlets, having no particular leaning
towards matrimony, who knew how to whisper little speeches while she
made a bottle of cherry-brandy serve five-and-twenty turns at the
least. She should be honest, patient, graceful, capable of great
labour, grasping,--with that wonderful capability of being greedy for
the benefit of another which belongs to women,--willing to accept
plentiful meals and a power of saving £20 a year as sufficient
remuneration for all hardships, with no more susceptibility than a
milestone, and as indifferent to delicacy in language as a bargee.
There are such women, and very valuable women they are in that trade.
Such a one was Miss Horsball, and in these days the sweetest of her
smiles were bestowed upon the young Squire.
Ralph Newton certainly liked it, though he assumed an air of laughing
at it all. "One would think that old Hossy thought that I am going to
go on with this kind of thing," he said one morning to Mr. Pepper as
the two of them were standing about near the stable doors with pipes
in their mouths. Old Hossy was the affectionate nickname by which Mr.
Horsball was known among the hunting men of the B. B. Mr. Pepper and
Ralph had already breakfasted, and were dressed for hunting except
that they had not yet put on their scarlet coats. The meet was within
three miles of their head-quarters; the captain and the lieutenant
were taking advantage of the occasion by prolonged slumbers; and
Ralph had passed the morning in discussing hunting matters with Mr.
Pepper.
"He don't think that," said Mr. Pepper, taking a very convenient
little implement out of his pocket, contrived for purposes of
pipe-smoking accommodation. He stopped down his tobacco, and drew the
smoke, and seemed by his manner to be giving his undivided attention
to his pipe. But that was Mr. Pepper's manner. He was short in
speech, but always spoke with a meaning.
"Of course he doesn't really," said Ralph. "I don't suppose I shall
ever see the old house again after next week. You see when a man has
a place of one's own, if there be hunting there, one is bound to take
it; if there isn't, one can go elsewhere and pick and choose."
"Just so," said Mr. Pepper.
"I like this kind of thing amazingly, you know."
"It has its advantages."
"Oh dear, yes. There is no trouble, you know. Everything done for
you. No servants to look after,--except just the fellow who brings
you your breeches and rides your second horse." Mr. Pepper never had
a second horse, or a man of his own to bring him his breeches, but
the allusion did not on that account vex him. "And then you can do
what you like a great deal more than you can in a house of your own."
"I should say so," remarked Mr. Pepper.
"I tell you what it is, Fred," continued Ralph, becoming very
confidential. "I don't mind telling you, because you are a man who
understands things. There isn't such a great pull after all in having
a property of your own."
"I shouldn't mind trying it,--just for a year or so," said Mr.
Pepper.
"I suppose not," said Ralph, chuckling in his triumph. "And yet there
isn't so much in it. What does it amount to when it's all told? You
keep horses for other fellows to ride, you buy wine for other fellows
to drink, you build a house for other fellows to live in. You've a
deal of business to do, and if you don't mind it you go very soon to
the dogs. You have to work like a slave, and everybody gets a pull at
you. The chances are you never have any ready money, and become as
stingy as an old file. You have to get married because of the family,
and the place, and all that kind of thing. Then you have to give
dinners to every old fogy, male and female, within twenty miles
of you, and before you know where you are you become an old fogy
yourself. That's about what it is."
"You ought to know," said Mr. Pepper.
"I've been expecting it all my life,--of course. It was what I was
born to, and everybody has been telling me what a lucky fellow I am
since I can remember. Now I've got it, and I don't find it comes to
so very much. I shall always look back upon the dear old Moonbeam,
and the B. B., and Hossy's wonderful port wine with regret. It hasn't
been very swell, you know, but it's been uncommonly cosy. Don't you
think so?"
"You see I wasn't born to anything better," said Mr. Pepper.
Just at this moment Cox and Fooks came out of the house. They had
not as yet breakfasted, but had thought that a mouthful of air in
the stable-yard might enable them to get through their toast and
red herrings with an amount of appetite which had not as yet been
vouchsafed to them. Second and third editions of that wonderful port
had been produced on the previous evening, and the two warriors had
played their parts with it manfully. Fooks was bearing up bravely as
he made his way across the yard; but Cox looked as though his friends
ought to see to his making that journey to Australia very soon if
they intended him to make it at all. "I'm blessed if you fellows
haven't been and breakfasted," said Captain Fooks.
"That's about it," said the Squire.
"You must be uncommon fond of getting up early."
"Do you know who gets the worm?" asked Mr. Pepper.
"Oh, bother that," said Cox.
"There's nothing I hate so much as being told about that nasty worm,"
said Captain Fooks. "I don't want a worm."
"But the early birds do," said Mr. Pepper.
Captain Fooks was rather given to be cross of mornings. "I think, you
know, that when fellows say over night they'll breakfast together, it
isn't just the sort of thing for one or two to have all the things
brought up at any unconscionable hour they please. Eh, Cox?"
"I'm sure I don't know," said Cox. "I shall just have another go of
soda and brandy with a devilled biscuit. That's all I want."
"Fooks had better go to bed again, and see if he can't get out the
other side," said Ralph.
"Chaff doesn't mean anything," said Captain Fooks.
"That's as you take it," said Mr. Pepper.
"I shall take it just as I please," said Captain Fooks.
Just at this moment Mr. Horsball came up to them, touching his hat
cheerily in sign of the commencement of the day. "You'll ride Mr.
Pepper's little 'orse, I suppose, sir?" he said, addressing himself
to the young Squire.
"Certainly,--I told Larking I would."
"Exactly, Mr. Newton. And Banker might as well go out as second."
"I said Brewer. Banker was out on Friday."
"That won't be no odds, Mr. Newton. The fact is. Brewer's legs is a
little puffed."
"All right," said the Squire.
"Well, old Hossy," said Lieutenant Cox, summing up all his energy in
an attempt at matutinal joviality as he slapped the landlord on the
back, "how are things going with you?"
Mr. Horsball knew his customers, and did not like being slapped
on the back with more than ordinary vigour by such a customer as
Lieutenant Cox. "Pretty well, I thank you, Mr. Cox," said he. "I
didn't take too much last night, and I eat my breakfast 'earty this
morning."
"There is one for you, young man," said Captain Fooks. Whereupon
the Squire laughed heartily. Mr. Horsball went on nodding his
head, intending to signify his opinion that he had done his work
thoroughly; Mr. Pepper, standing on one foot with the other raised
on a horse-block, looked on without moving a muscle of his face. The
lieutenant was disgusted, but was too weak in his inner man to be
capable of instant raillery;--when, on a sudden, the whole aspect of
things was changed by the appearance of Mr. Neefit in the yard.
"D----tion!" exclaimed our friend Ralph. The apparition had been so
sudden that the Squire was unable to restrain himself. Mr. Neefit, as
the reader will perhaps remember, had been at the Moonbeam before. He
had written letters which had been answered, and then letters,--many
letters,--to which no reply had been given. In respect of the Neefit
arrangements Ralph Newton felt himself to be peculiarly ill-used by
persecutions such as these, because he had honestly done his best
to make Polly his wife. No doubt he acknowledged that fortune had
favoured him almost miraculously, in first saving him from so
injurious a marriage by the action of the young lady, and then at
once bestowing upon him his estate. But the escape was the doing of
fortune and Polly Neefit combined, and had not come of any intrigue
on his own part. He was in a position,--so he thought,--absolutely
to repudiate Neefit, and to throw himself upon facts for his
protection;--but then it was undoubtedly the case that for a year
or two Mr. Neefit could make his life a burden to him. He would
have bought off Neefit at a considerable price, had Neefit been
purchaseable. But Neefit was not in this matter greedy for himself.
He wanted to make his daughter a lady, and he thought that this
was the readiest way to accomplish that object. The Squire, in his
unmeasurable disgust, uttered the curse aloud; but then, remembering
himself, walked up to the breeches-maker with his extended hand. He
had borrowed the man's money. "What's in the wind now, Mr. Neefit?"
he said.
"What's in the wind, Captain? Oh, you know. When are you coming to
see us at the cottage?"
"I don't think my coming would do any good. I'm not in favour with
the ladies there." Ralph was aware that all the men standing round
him had heard the story, and that nothing was to be gained by an
immediate attempt at concealment. It behoved him, above all things,
to be upon his metal, to put a good face upon it, and to be at any
rate equal to the breeches-maker in presence of mind and that kind of
courage which he himself would have called "cheek."
"My money was in favour with you, Captain, when you promised as how
you would be on the square with me in regard to our Polly."
"Mr. Neefit," said Ralph, speaking in a low voice, but still clearly,
so that all around him could hear him, "your daughter and I can never
be more to each other than we are at present. She has decided that.
But I value her character and good name too highly to allow even you
to injure them by such a discussion in a stableyard." And, having
said this, he walked away into the house.
"My Polly's character!" said the infuriated breeches-maker, turning
round to the audience, and neglecting to follow his victim in his
determination to vindicate his daughter. "If my girl's character
don't stand higher nor his or any one's belonging to him I'll eat
it!"
"Mr. Newton meant to speak in favour of the young lady, not against
her," said Mr. Pepper.
"Then why don't he come out on the square? Now, gents, I'll tell you
just the whole of it. He came down to my little box, where I, and my
missus, and my girl lives quiet and decent, to borrow money;--and he
borrowed it. He won't say as that wasn't so."
"And he's paid you the money back again," said Mr. Pepper.
"He have;--but just you listen. I know you, Mr. Pepper, and all about
you; and do you listen. He have paid it back. But when he come there
borrowing money, he saw my girl; and, says he,--'I've got to sell
that 'eritance of mine for just what it 'll fetch.' 'That's bad,
Captain,' says I. 'It is bad,' says he. Then says he again, 'Neefit,
that girl of yours there is the sweetest girl as ever I put my eyes
on.' And so she is,--as sweet as a rose, and as honest as the sun,
and as good as gold. I says it as oughtn't; but she is. 'It's a pity,
Neefit,' says he,' about the 'eritance; ain't it?' 'Captain,' says
I,--I used to call him Captain 'cause he come down quite familiar
like to eat his bit of salmon and drink his glass of wine. Laws,--he
was glad enough to come then, mighty grand as he is now."
"I don't think he's grand at all," said Mr. Horsball.
"Well;--do you just listen, gents. 'Captain,' says I, 'that 'eritance
of yourn mustn't be sold no how. I says so. What's the figure as is
wanted?' Well; then he went on to say as how Polly was the sweetest
girl he ever see;--and so we came to an understanding. He was to have
what money he wanted at once, and then £20,000 down when he married
Polly. He did have a thousand. And, now,--see what his little game
is."
"But the young lady wouldn't have anything to say to him," suggested
Captain Fooks, who, even for the sake of his breakfast, could not
omit to hear the last of so interesting a conversation.
"Laws, Captain Fooks, to hear the likes of that from you, who is an
officer and a gentleman by Act of Parliament! When you have anything
sweet to say to a young woman, does she always jump down your throat
the first go off?"
"If she don't come at the second time of asking I always go
elsewhere," said Captain Fooks.
"Then it's my opinion you have a deal of travelling to do," said Mr.
Neefit, "and don't get much at the end of it. It's because he's come
in for his 'eritance, which he never would have had only for me, that
he's demeaning himself this fashion. It ain't acting the gentleman;
it ain't the thing; it's off the square. Only for me and my money
there wouldn't be an acre his this blessed minute;--d----d if there
would! I saved it for him, by my ready money,--just that I might see
my Polly put into a station as she'd make more genteel than she found
it. That's what she would;--she has that manners, not to talk of her
being as pretty a girl as there is from here to,--to anywheres. He
made me a promise, and he shall keep it. I'll worry the heart out
of him else. Pay me back my money! Who cares for the money? I can
tell guineas with him now, I'll be bound. I'll put it all in the
papers,--I will. There ain't a soul shan't know it. I'll put the
story of it into the pockets of every pair of breeches as leaves my
shop. I'll send it to every M. F. H. in the kingdom."
"You'll about destroy your trade, old fellow," said Mr. Pepper.
"I don't care for the trade, Mr. Pepper. Why have I worked like a
'orse? It's only for my girl."
"I suppose she's not breaking her heart for him?" said Captain Fooks.
"What she's a doing with her heart ain't no business of yours,
Captain Fooks. I'm her father, and I know what I'm about. I'll make
that young man's life a burden to him, if 'e ain't on the square
with my girl. You see if I don't. Mr. 'Orsball, I want a 'orse to go
a 'unting on to-day. You lets 'em. Just tell your man to get me a
'orse. I'll pay for him."
"I didn't know you ever did anything in that way," said Mr. Horsball.
"I may begin if I please, I suppose. If I can't go no other way, I'll
go on a donkey, and I'll tell every one that's out. Oh, 'e don't know
me yet,--don't that young gent."
Mr. Neefit did not succeed in getting any animal out of Mr.
Horsball's stables, nor did he make further attempt to carry his last
threat into execution on that morning. Mr. Horsball now led the way
into the house, while Mr. Pepper mounted his nag. Captain Fooks and
Lieutenant Cox went in to their breakfast, and the unfortunate father
followed them. It was now nearly eleven o'clock, and it was found
that Ralph's horses had been taken round to the other door, and that
he had already started. He said very little to any one during the
day, though he was somewhat comforted by information conveyed to him
by Mr. Horsball in the course of the afternoon that Mr. Neefit had
returned to London. "You send your lawyer to him, Squire," said Mr.
Horsball. "Lawyers cost a deal of money, but they do make things
straight." This suggestion had also been made to him by his brother
Gregory.
On the following day Ralph went up to London, and explained all the
circumstances of the case to Mr. Carey. Mr. Carey undertook to do his
best to straighten this very crooked episode in his client's life.