_April_ 2, 1894.--The County Council at yesterday's meeting discussed
the proposed new Tramway from Westminster Bridge to the Round Pond,
through the Abbey, St. James's Park and Rotten Row. Deputations from
all the artistic and archæological Societies presented petitions
against it, but the Council refused to read them. Deputations from the
Institute of Architects and the Society for the Protection of Ancient
Buildings also attended to give their views on the partial demolition
of the Abbey, but they quarrelled so much amongst themselves that
it was necessary to eject them, in order to prevent a free fight in
the Council Chamber. Three Labour Candidates were then received, the
Council standing respectfully, and stated that at least twenty-seven
persons residing in Southwark would benefit by the direct route to
Kensington Gardens. It was at once resolved that the Tramway should be
made.
_May_ 2, 1901.--Yesterday an immense Demonstration of Working-Men was
held in Hyde Park to protest against the extension of the Tramways.
Mr. JOHN SCALDS presided, and observed in his speech, "What is the
good of taking the Working-Man from his own door to a park, if
there is no park at the other end, only asphalte and tramlines and
some stumps of trees cut down? What is the good of taking him to
Westminster Abbey, if Poets' Corner has been made into a tramcar-shed?
Besides, now the Working-Man is so much richer, and pays no rates or
taxes, he does not want trams. They are only fit for the miserable
Middle Class, and who cares about them?" This was greeted with loud
shouts of, "Down with the Council!" and the vast assemblage marched
with threatening cries and gestures towards the recently completed
County Council Offices. Our readers are aware that this sumptuous
building, which cost over two millions, occupies the site where St.
Paul's Cathedral formerly stood. It was found, however, that the
Council had suddenly adjourned, and that all the officials had fled.
The workmen accordingly entered, and, having voted Mr. SCALDS to the
chair, unanimously resolved that all the Tramways should be removed
and the Parks replanted and returfed. It was decided that nothing
could be done to replace the Cathedral or the Abbey, but it was
resolved that the following inscription should be placed on the ruins
at Westminster:--"To the lasting disgrace of the English Nation, this
Building, together with the other beautiful and interesting parts
of London, was ruined, for the sake of some impossible and imbecile
schemes, by an assemblage of the most Despicable Dolts that ever
lived."
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[Illustration: "WHEN PAIN AND ANGUISH WRING THE BROW."
_The Minister._ "WELL, JANET, HOW DID YOU LIKE YOUR NEW DOCTOR, DR.
ELIZABETH SQUILLS?"
_Janet._ "WEEL, SIR, ONLY PRETTY WELL. YE SEE, SIR, DR. ELIZABETH
ISN'T SO LEDDYLIKE AS SOME OF OUR AIN MEN DOCTORS!"]
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MIXED.--Under the heading "A Tragic Affair," it was recently stated
in a paragraph, how "a Lady had been shot by a discharged Servant." It
would have been better if the Servant, on being discharged, had gone
off and injured nobody.
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[Illustration: IN DIFFICULTIES.
_Effie_ (_who can't make her sum come right_). "OH, I _DO_ WISH I WAS
A RABBIT SO!"
_Maud._ "WHAT FOR, DARLING?"
_Effie._ "PAPA SAYS THEY _MULTIPLY_ SO QUICKLY!"]
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