[98] _Memoirs of Jacques Casanova_: Privately Printed, 1894. Also
_Mémoires de J. Casanova de Seingalt_: Garnier Frères: Paris, n.d. Our
text is a blend of the two versions.
_Casanova again meets the beautiful nun M--M--, with whom he was on
intimate terms some years previously at Venice. The nun is now in a
convent at Chamberi, where Casanova visits her and her young boarder,
a lovely girl aged twelve or thirteen, who readily succumbs to the
adventurer’s amorous advances. The text continues_:--
I went to the convent, and M--M--came down alone to the grating. She
thanked me for coming to see her, adding that I had come to disturb her
peace of mind.
“I am all ready, my heart, to climb the garden wall,” I answered, “and
I shall do it more dextrously than thy wretched humpback.”
“Alas! ‘tis not possible, for, believe me, thou art already spied
upon.... Let us forget all, my dear friend, that we may be spared the
torment of vain desires.”
“Give me thy hand.”
“Nay. All is over. I love thee still; probably I shall love thee
always; but I long for thee to go, and by so doing, thou wilt give me
proof of thy love.”
“This is dreadful; thou amazest me. Thou dost seem in perfect health;
thou art grown even more beautiful; art made for the worship of the
sweetest of gods; ‘tis beyond my powers of comprehension how, with a
temperament like thine, thou canst live in continual abstinence.”
“Alas! lacking the reality we console ourselves with make-belief.[99]
I will not conceal from thee that I love my young boarder. ‘Tis an
innocent passion, and keepeth my mind calm. Her caresses quench the
flame which would otherwise kill me.”[100]
[99] _Badinage_ in the French text; _i.e._, _playfulness_, _frolic_,
_sport_, etc., which is hardly in keeping with the context.
[100] Literally, according to French text: “Her caresses quench a fire
which would kill me did I not weaken its force by this make-belief.”
“And doth not thy conscience suffer?”
“I feel no distress in the matter.”
“But thou dost know ‘tis a sin?”
“I confess it.”
“And what sayeth the confessor?”
“Naught. He absolveth me, and I am happy.”
“And doth thy pretty boarder confess also?”
“Assuredly; but she telleth not the father of a matter which she doth
not believe a sin.”
“I wonder that the confessor hath not taught her, for that species of
instruction is a great pleasure.”
“Our confessor is a wise old man.”
“I shall leave thee, then, without a single kiss?”
“Not one.”
“May I return on the morrow? I go hence on the following day.”
“Come; but I shall not descend alone,[101] for others might have
suspicions. I will bring my little one with me, to save appearances.
Come after dining, but to the other parlour.”
[101] _i.e._, to the grating.
Had I not known M--M--at Aix, her religious ideas would have astonished
me; but such was her character. She loved God, and did not believe that
the kind Father who made us with passions would be too severe because
we had not the strength to subdue them. I returned to the inn, annoyed
that the lovely nun would have no more to do with me....
_After the interval of a night, Casanova returns to the convent, and,
announcing his presence, enters the parlour which M--M--has indicated.
The text continues_:--
... She soon descended with her pretty young boarder, who ... had
not yet completed her twelfth year, but was very tall, strong and
well-developed for her age. Gentleness, liveliness, candour, and wit
were united in her features, and gave her an expression of exquisite
charm. She wore a well-made corset which disclosed a white throat, to
which fancy easily added the two spheres which would soon appear there.
Her shapely head, whence hung two superb raven tresses, and her ivory
throat indicated what might be concealed, and my vagrant imagination
formed her into a budding Venus.
I began by telling her that she was very pretty, and that she would
make happy the husband for whom God had destined her. This compliment,
I felt assured, would cause her to blush. ‘Tis cruel, but thus it is
that the language of seduction ever beginneth. A girl of her years who
doth not blush at the mention of marriage is either a fool or already
expert in profligacy. Despite this, however, the blush which mounteth
to a young girl’s cheek at the onset of a startling idea is indeed a
problem. Whence doth it come? Perchance from pure simplicity; perchance
from shame; often from a mixture of both feelings. Cometh, then, the
combat ‘twixt vice and virtue, and usually ‘tis virtue which hath to
succumb. The desires--true servants of vice--easily attain their ends.
As I knew the young boarder from M--M--’s description, I could not
be unaware of the source of those blushes which did but enhance her
youthful charms.
Pretending not to notice aught, I conversed for a while with M--M--,
then returned to the assault. She had regained her calm.
“What is thine age, pretty one?” said I.
“I am thirteen.”
“Thou art wrong, my heart,” said her friend. “Thou hast not yet
completed thy twelfth year.”
“The time will come,” quoth I, “when thou wilt diminish the tale of thy
years instead of increasing it.”
“I shall never tell a lie, sir; of that I am sure.”
“So thou wouldst become a nun, my fair friend?”
“I have not yet that vocation; but naught shall force me to lie, even
though I should live in the world.”
“Thou art wrong, for thou wilt begin to lie from the moment thou hast a
lover.”
“Will my lover also tell lies?”
“Assuredly he will.”
“Were the matter truly so, I should entertain a bad opinion of love;
but I do not believe it, for I love my dear friend here, and I never
conceal the truth from her.”
“But thou dost not love a man as thou lovest a woman.”
“Indeed one doth.”
“Not so, for thou dost not go to bed with a woman, but thou wilt with
thy husband.”
“No matter--my love would be the same.”
“What? Thou wouldst not rather sleep with me than with M--M--?”
“Nay, in sooth, for thou art a man and would see me.”
“Thou dost not desire a man to see thee, then?”
“Nay.”
“Thou knowest that thou art ugly, then?”
At this she turned to her friend with a highly vexed air.
“Am I truly ugly?” she asked.
“Nay, my heart,” said M--M--, bursting with laughter; “‘tis quite the
other way. Thou art very pretty.” With these words, she took her on her
knee and embraced her tenderly.
“Thy corset is too tight, mademoiselle; ‘tis not possible to have so
small a waist as thine.”
“Monsieur is mistaken. Thou canst put thy hand there and see for
thyself.”
“I do not believe it.”
M--M--then held her close to the grille and bade me assure myself on
the point. At the same moment she turned up her dress.
“Thou wast right,” said I, “and I owe thee an apology.” But in my heart
I cursed the chemise and the grille.
“‘Tis my opinion,” quoth I to M--M--, “that here we have a little lad.”
Without awaiting a reply, I laboured so well that I satisfied myself,
by touch, as to her sex, and I could see that the little one and her
governess were pleased that my mind was at rest on the subject.
When I had withdrawn my hand, the little one gave a kiss to M--M--,
whose smiling air reassured her, and begged leave to absent herself
for a moment. It seems I had reduced her to a state in which a brief
space of solitude was necessary, and I myself was in a highly excited
condition.