THE VOICE IN THE DARKNESS
Just the dark head upon the pillow. That was all Jane saw at first, and
she saw it in sunshine. Somehow she had always pictured a darkened
room, forgetting that to him darkness and light were both alike, and
that there was no need to keep out the sunlight, with its healing,
purifying, invigorating powers.
He had requested to have his bed moved into a corner--the corner
farthest from door, fireplace, and windows--with its left side against
the wall, so that he could feel the blank wall with his hand and,
turning close to it, know himself shut away from all possible prying of
unseen eyes. This was how he now lay, and he did not turn as they
entered.
Just the dear dark head upon the pillow. It was all Jane saw at first.
Then his right arm in the sleeve of a blue silk sleeping-suit,
stretched slightly behind him as he lay on his left side, the thin
white hand limp and helpless on the coverlet.
Jane put her hands behind her. The impulse was so strong to fall on her
knees beside the bed, take that poor hand in both her strong ones, and
cover it with kisses. Ah surely, surely then, the dark head would turn
to her, and instead of seeking refuge in the hard, blank wall, he would
hide that sightless face in the boundless tenderness of her arms. But
Deryck's warning voice sounded, grave and persistent: "If you value
your own eventual happiness and his--" So Jane put her hands behind her
back.
Dr. Mackenzie advanced to the side of the bed and laid his hand upon
Garth's shoulder. Then, with an incredible softening of his rather
strident voice, he spoke so slowly and quietly, that Jane could hardly
believe this to be the man who had jerked out questions, comments, and
orders to her, during the last half-hour.
"Good morning, Mr. Dalmain. Simpson tells me it has been an excellent
night, the best you have yet had. Now that is good. No doubt you were
relieved to be rid of Johnson, capable though he was, and to be back in
the hands of your own man again. These trained attendants are never
content with doing enough; they always want to do just a little more,
and that little more is a weariness to the patient.--Now I have brought
you to-day one who is prepared to do all you need, and yet who, I feel
sure, will never annoy you by attempting more than you desire. Sir
Deryck Brand's prescription, Nurse Rosemary Gray, is here; and I
believe she is prepared to be companion, secretary, reader, anything
you want, in fact a new pair of eyes for you, Mr. Dalmain, with a
clever brain behind them, and a kind, sympathetic, womanly heart
directing and controlling that brain. Nurse Gray arrived this morning,
Mr. Dalmain."
No response from the bed. But Garth's hand groped for the wall; touched
it, then dropped listlessly back.
Jane could not realise that SHE was "Nurse Gray." She only longed that
her poor boy need not be bothered with the woman! It all seemed, at
this moment, a thing apart from herself and him.
Dr. Mackenzie spoke again. "Nurse Rosemary Gray is in the room, Mr.
Dalmain."
Then Garth's instinctive chivalry struggled up through the blackness.
He did not turn his head, but his right hand made a little courteous
sign of greeting, and he said in a low, distinct voice: "How do you do?
I am sure it is most kind of you to come so far. I hope you had an easy
journey."
Jane's lips moved, but no sound would pass them.
Dr. Rob made answer quickly, without looking at her: "Miss Gray had a
very good journey, and looks as fresh this morning as if she had spent
the night in bed. I can see she is a cold-water young lady."
"I hope my housekeeper will make her comfortable. Please give orders,"
said the tired voice; and Garth turned even closer to the wall, as if
to end the conversation.
Dr. Rob attacked his moustache, and stood looking down at the blue silk
shoulder for a minute, silently.
Then he turned and spoke to Jane. "Come over to the window, Nurse Gray.
I want to show you a special chair we have obtained for Mr. Dalmain, in
which he will be most comfortable as soon as he feels inclined to sit
up. You see? Here is an adjustable support for the head, if necessary;
and these various trays and stands and movable tables can be swung
round into any position by a touch. I consider it excellent, and Sir
Deryck approved it. Have you seen one of this kind before, Nurse Gray?"
"We had one at the hospital, but not quite so complete as this," said
Jane.
In the stillness of that sunlit chamber, the voice from the bed broke
upon them with startling suddenness; and in it was the cry of one lost
in an abyss of darkness, but appealing to them with a frantic demand
for instant enlightenment.
"WHO is in the room?" cried Garth Dalmain.
His face was still turned to the wall; but he had raised himself on his
left elbow, in an attitude which betokened intent listening.
Dr. Mackenzie answered. "No one is in the room, Mr. Dalmain, but myself
and Nurse Gray."
"There IS some one else in the room!" said Garth violently. "How dare
you lie to me! Who was speaking?"
Then Jane came quickly to the side of the bed. Her hands were
trembling, but her voice was perfectly under control.
"It was I who spoke, sir," she said; "Nurse Rosemary Gray. And I feel
sure I know why my voice startled you. Dr. Brand warned me it might do
so. He said I must not be surprised if you detected a remarkable
similarity between my voice and that of a mutual friend of yours and
his. He said he had often noticed it."
Garth, in his blindness, remained quite still; listening and
considering. At length he asked slowly: "Did he say whose voice?"
"Yes, for I asked him. He said it was Miss Champion's."
Garth's head dropped back upon the pillow. Then without turning he said
in a tone which Jane knew meant a smile on that dear hidden face: "You
must forgive me, Miss Gray, for being so startled and so stupidly,
unpardonably agitated. But, you know, being blind is still such a new
experience, and every fresh voice which breaks through the black
curtain of perpetual night, means so infinitely more than the speaker
realises. The resemblance in your voice to that of the lady Sir Deryck
mentioned is so remarkable that, although I know her to be at this
moment in Egypt, I could scarcely believe she was not in the room. And
yet the most unlikely thing in the world would be that she should have
been in this room. So I owe you and Dr. Mackenzie most humble apologies
for my agitation and unbelief."
He stretched out his right hand, palm upwards, towards Jane.
Jane clasped her shaking hands behind her.
"Now, Nurse, if you please," broke in Dr. Mackenzie's rasping voice
from the window, "I have a few more details to explain to you over
here."
They talked together for a while without interruption, until Dr. Rob
remarked: "I suppose I will have to be going."
Then Garth said: "I wish to speak to you alone, doctor, for a few
minutes."
"I will wait for you downstairs, Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane, and was
moving towards the door, when an imperious gesture from Dr. Rob stopped
her, and she turned silently to the fireplace. She could not see any
need now for this subterfuge, and it annoyed her. But the freckled
little Napoleon of the moors was not a man to be lightly disobeyed. He
walked to the door, opened and closed it; then returned to the bedside,
drew up a chair, and sat down.
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," he said.
Garth sat up and turned towards him eagerly.
Then, for the first time, Jane saw his face.
"Doctor," he said, "tell me about this nurse. Describe her to me."
The tension in tone and attitude was extreme. His hands were clasped in
front of him, as if imploring sight through the eyes of another. His
thin white face, worn with suffering, looked so eager and yet so blank.
"Describe her to me, doctor," he said; "this Nurse Rosemary Gray, as
you call her."
"But it is not a pet name of mine, my dear sir," said Dr. Rob
deliberately. "It is the young lady's own name, and a pretty one, too.
'Rosemary for remembrance.' Is not that Shakespeare?"
"Describe her to me," insisted Garth, for the third time.
Dr. Mackenzie glanced at Jane. But she had turned her back, to hide the
tears which were streaming down her cheeks. Oh, Garth! Oh, beautiful
Garth of the shining eyes!
Dr. Rob drew Deryck's letter from his pocket and studied it.
"Well," he said slowly, "she is a pretty, dainty little thing; just the
sort of elegant young woman you would like to have about you, could you
see her."
"Dark or fair?" asked Garth.
The doctor glanced at what he could see of Jane's cheek, and at the
brown hands holding on to the mantelpiece.
"Fair," said Dr. Rob, without a moment's hesitation.
Jane started and glanced round. Why should this little man be lying on
his own account?
"Hair?" queried the strained voice from the bed.
"Well," said Dr. Rob deliberately, "it is mostly tucked away under a
modest little cap; but, were it not for that wise restraint, I should
say it might be that kind of fluffy, fly-away floss-silk, which puts
the finishing touch to a dainty, pretty woman."
Garth lay back, panting, and pressed his hands over his sightless face.
"Doctor," he said, "I know I have given you heaps of trouble, and
to-day you must think me a fool. But if you do not wish me to go mad in
my blindness, send that girl away. Do not let her enter my room again."
"Now, Mr. Dalmain," said Dr. Mackenzie patiently; "let us consider this
thing. We may take it you have nothing against this young lady
excepting a chance resemblance in her voice to that of a friend of
yours now far away. Was not this other lady a pleasant person?"
Garth laughed suddenly, bitterly; a laugh like a hard, sob. "Oh, yes,"
he said, "she was quite a pleasant person."
"'Rosemary for remembrance,'" quoted Dr. Rob. "Then why should not
Nurse Rosemary call up a pleasant remembrance? Also it seems to me to
be a kind, sweet, womanly voice, which is something to be thankful for
nowadays, when so many women talk, fit to scare the crows; cackle,
cackle, cackle--like stones rattling in a tin canister."
"But can't you understand, doctor," said Garth wearily, "that it is
just the remembrance and the resemblance which, in my blindness, I
cannot bear? I have nothing against her voice, Heaven knows! But I tell
you, when I heard it first I thought it was--it was she--the
other--come to me--here--and--" Garth's voice ceased suddenly.
"The pleasant lady?" suggested Dr. Rob. "I see. Well now, Mr. Dalmain,
Sir Deryck said the best thing that could happen would be if you came
to wish for visitors. It appears you have many friends ready and
anxious to come any distance in order to bring you help or cheer. Why
not let me send for this pleasant lady? I make no doubt she would come.
Then when she herself had sat beside you, and talked with you, the
nurse's voice would trouble you no longer."
Garth sat up again, his face wild with protest. Jane turned on the
hearth-rug, and stood watching it.
"No, doctor," he said. "Oh, my God, no! In the whole world, she is the
last person I would have enter this room!"
Dr. Mackenzie bent forward to examine minutely a microscopic darn in
the sheet. "And why?" he asked very low.
"Because," said Garth, "that pleasant lady, as you rightly call her,
has a noble, generous heart, and it might overflow with pity for my
blindness; and pity from her I could not accept. It would be the last
straw upon my heavy cross. I can bear the cross, doctor; I hope in time
to carry it manfully, until God bids me lay it down. But that last
straw--HER pity--would break me. I should fall in the dark, to rise no
more."
"I see," said Dr. Rob gently. "Poor laddie! The pleasant lady must not
come."
He waited silently a few minutes, then pushed back his chair and stood
up.
"Meanwhile," he said, "I must rely on you, Mr. Dalmain, to be agreeable
to Nurse Rosemary Gray, and not to make her task too difficult. I dare
not send her back. She is Dr. Brand's choice. Besides--think of the
cruel blow to her in her profession. Think of it, man!--sent off at a
moment's notice, after spending five minutes in her patient's room,
because, forsooth, her voice maddened him! Poor child! What a statement
to enter on her report! See her appear before the matron with it! Can't
you be generous and unselfish enough to face whatever trial there may
be for you in this bit of a coincidence?"
Garth hesitated. "Dr. Mackenzie," he said at last, "will you swear to
me that your description of this young lady was accurate in every
detail?"
"'Swear not at all,'" quoted Dr. Rob unctuously. "I had a pious mother,
laddie. Besides I can do better than that. I will let you into a
secret. I was reading from Sir Deryck's letter. I am no authority on
women myself, having always considered dogs and horses less ensnaring
and more companionable creatures. So I would not trust my own eyes, but
preferred to give you Sir Deryck's description. You will allow him to
be a fine judge of women. You have seen Lady Brand?"
"Seen her? Yes," said Garth eagerly, a slight flush tinting his thin
cheeks, "and more than that, I've painted her. Ah, such a
picture!--standing at a table, the sunlight in her hair, arranging
golden daffodils in an old Venetian vase. Did you see it, doctor, in
the New Gallery, two years ago?"
"No," said Dr. Rob. "I am not finding myself in galleries, new or old.
But"--he turned a swift look of inquiry on Jane, who nodded--"Nurse
Gray was telling me she had seen it."
"Really?" said Garth, interested. "Somehow one does not connect nurses
with picture galleries."
"I don't know why not," said Dr. Rob. "They must go somewhere for their
outings. They can't be everlastingly nosing shop windows in all
weathers; so why not go in and have a look at your pictures? Besides,
Miss Rosemary is a young lady of parts. Sir Deryck assures me she is a
gentlewoman by birth, well-read and intelligent.--Now, laddie, what is
it to be?"
Garth considered silently.
Jane turned away and gripped the mantelpiece. So much hung in the
balance during that quiet minute.
At length Garth spoke, slowly, hesitatingly. "If only I could quite
disassociate the voice from the--from that other personality. If I
could be quite sure that, though her voice is so extraordinarily like,
she herself is not--" he paused, and Jane's heart stood still. Was a
description of herself coming?--"is not at all like the face and figure
which stand clear in my remembrance as associated with that voice."
"Well," said Dr. Rob, "I'm thinking we can manage that for you. These
nurses know their patients must be humoured. We will call the young
lady back, and she shall kneel down beside your bed--Bless you! She
won't mind, with me to play old Gooseberry!--and you shall pass your
hands over her face and hair, and round her little waist, and assure
yourself, by touch, what an elegant, dainty little person it is, in a
blue frock and white apron."
Garth burst out laughing, and his voice had a tone it had not yet held.
"Of all the preposterous suggestions!" he said. "Good heavens! What an
ass I must have been making of myself! And I begin to think I have
exaggerated the resemblance. In a day or two, I shall cease to notice
it. And, look here, doctor, if she really was interested in that
portrait--Here, I say--where are you going?"
"All right, sir," said Dr. Rob. "I was merely moving a chair over to
the fireside, and taking the liberty of pouring out a glass of water.
Really you are becoming abnormally quick of hearing. Now I am all
attention. What about the portrait?"
"I was only going to say, if she the nurse, you know--is really
interested in my portrait of Lady Brand, there are studies of it up in
the studio, which she might care to see. If she brought them here and
described them to me I could explain--But, I say, doctor. I can't have
dainty young ladies in and out of my room while I'm in bed. Why
shouldn't I get up and try that chair of yours? Send Simpson along; and
tell him to look out my brown lounge-suit and orange tie. Good heavens!
what a blessing to have the MEMORY of colours and of how they blend!
Think of the fellows who are BORN blind. And please ask Miss Gray to go
out in the pine wood, or on the moor, or use the motor, or rest, or do
anything she likes. Tell her to make herself quite at home; but on no
account to come up here until Simpson reports me ready."
"You may rely on Nurse Gray to be most discreet," said Dr. Rob; whose
voice had suddenly become very husky. "And as for getting up, laddie,
don't go too fast. You will not find your strength equal to much. But I
am bound to tell you there is nothing to keep you in bed if you feel
like rising."
"Good-bye, doctor," said Garth, groping for his hand; "and I am sorry I
shall never be able to offer to paint Mrs. Mackenzie!"
"You'd have to paint her with a shaggy head, four paws, and the softest
amber eyes in the world," said Dr. Rob tenderly; "and, looking out from
those eyes, the most faithful, loving dog-heart in creation. In all the
years we've kept house together she has never failed to meet me with a
welcome, never contradicted me or wanted the last word, and never
worried me for so much as the price of a bonnet. There's a woman for
you!--Well, good-bye, lad, and God Almighty bless you. And be careful
how you go. Do not be surprised if I look in again on my way back from
my rounds to see how you like that chair."
Dr. Mackenzie held open the door. Jane passed noiselessly out before
him. He followed, signing to her to precede him down the stairs.
In the library, Jane turned and faced him. He put her quietly into a
chair and stood before her. The bright blue eyes were moist, beneath
the shaggy brows.
"My dear," he said, "I feel myself somewhat of a blundering old fool.
You must forgive me. I never contemplated putting you through such an
ordeal. I perfectly understand that, while he hesitated, you must have
felt your whole career at stake. I see you have been weeping; but you
must not take it too much to heart that our patient made so much of
your voice resembling this Miss Champion's. He will forget all about it
in a day or two, and you will be worth more to him than a dozen Miss
Champions. See what good you have done him already. Here he is wanting
to get up and explain his pictures to you. Never you fear. You will
soon win your way, and I shall be able to report to Sir Deryck what a
fine success you have made of the case. Now I must see the valet and
give him very full instructions. And I recommend you to go for a blow
on the moor and get an appetite for lunch. Only put on something warmer
than that. You will have no sick-room work to do; and having duly
impressed me with your washableness and serviceableness, you may as
well wear something comfortable to protect you from our Highland nip.
Have you warmer clothing with you?"
"It is the rule of our guild to wear uniform," said Jane; "but I have a
grey merino."
"Ah, I see. Well, wear the grey merino. I shall return in two hours to
observe how he stands that move. Now, don't let me keep you."
"Dr. Mackenzie," said Jane quietly, "may I ask why you described me as
fair; and my very straight, heavy, plainly coiled hair, as fluffy,
fly-away floss-silk?"
Dr. Rob had already reached the bell, but at her question he stayed his
hand and, turning, met Jane's steadfast eyes with the shrewd turquoise
gleam of his own.
"Why certainly you may ask, Nurse Rosemary Gray," he said, "though I
wonder you think it necessary to do so. It was of course perfectly
evident to me that, for reasons of his own, Sir Deryck wished to paint
an imaginary portrait of you to the patient, most likely representing
some known ideal of his. As the description was so different from the
reality, I concluded that, to make the portrait complete, the two
touches unfortunately left to me to supply, had better be as unlike
what I saw before me as the rest of the picture. And now, if you will
be good enough--" Dr. Rob rang the bell violently.
"And why did you take the risk of suggesting that he should feel me?"
persisted Jane.
"Because I knew he was a gentleman," shouted Dr. Rob angrily. "Oh, come
in, Simpson--come in, my good fellow--and shut that door! And God
Almighty be praised that He made you and me MEN, and not women!"
A quarter of an hour later, Jane watched him drive away, thinking to
herself: "Deryck was right. But what a queer mixture of shrewdness and
obtuseness, and how marvellously it worked out to the furtherance of
our plans."
But as she watched the dog-cart start off at a smart trot across the
moor, she would have been more than a little surprised could she have
overheard Dr. Rob's muttered remarks to himself, as he gathered up the
reins and cheered on his sturdy cob. He had a habit of talking over his
experiences, half aloud, as he drove from case to case; the two sides
of his rather complex nature apparently comparing notes with each
other. And the present conversation opened thus:
"Now what has brought the Honourable Jane up here?" said Dr. Rob.
"Dashed if I know," said Dr. Mackenzie.
"You must not swear, laddie," said Dr. Rob; "you had a pious mother."