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GEO. F. NESBITT & CO.,
General JOB PRINTERS,
BLANK BOOK Manufacturers,
STATIONERS, Wholesale and Retail,
LITHOGRAPHIC Engravers and Printers,
COPPER-PLATE Engravers and Printers,
CARD Manufacturers,
ENVELOPE Manufacturers,
FINE CUT and COLOR Printers.
163, 165, 167, and 169 PEARL ST.,
73, 75, 77, and 79 PINE ST., New-York.
ADVANTAGES. All on the same premises, and under the immediate
supervision of the proprietors.
* * * * *
WALTHAM WATCHES.
3-4 PLATE.
_16 and 30 Sizes._
To the manufacture of these fine Watches the Company have devoted all the
science and skill in the art at their command, and confidently claim that,
for fineness and beauty, no less than for the greater excellences of
mechanical and scientific correctness of design and execution, these
watches are unsurpassed anywhere.
In this country the manufacture of this fine grade of Watches is not even
attempted except at Waltham.
FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING JEWELLERS.
* * * * *
MOLLER'S PUREST NORWEGIAN
COD-LIVER OIL.
"Of late years it has become almost impossible to get any Cod-Liver Oil
that patients can digest, owing to the objectionable mode of procuring and
preparing the livers....Moller, of Christiana, Norway, prepares an oil
which is perfectly pure, and in every respect all that can be wished."--
DR. L. A. SAYRE, before Academy of Medicine. See _Medical Record_,
December, 1869, p. 447.
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[Illustration: Vol. 1. No. 2.]
PUNCHINELLO
SATURDAY, APRIL 9, 1870.
PUBLISHED BY THE
PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY,
83 NASSAU STREET, NEW-YORK.
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PUNCHINELLO April 9, 1870
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* * * * *
THE UMBRELLA. A VIEW OF THE SHADY SIDE OF LIFE.
A ripe pippin falling upon the head of Sir ISAAC NEWTON (a clear case of
hard cider on the brain) suggested the laws of gravitation. An elderly
countryman passing my window this clear bright day, attended by his
faithful umbrella, suggested the following reflections.
The term Umbrella comes from the Latin _umbra_, a shade--the whole
signifying "keep shady."
This definition well describes the nature of the article; for, as it
undoubtedly "keeps shady" in fine weather when the sun is fervent, so it is
apt to "keep shady" in rainy weather, when most wanted.
It is as difficult to say when the umbrella came, or where it came from, as
it is to tell where it goes to. Rumor hath it, however, that it came in
(that is, out of the rain) with NOAH. The story (as given us by an
antiquarian relative) says that when the Ark was built the camelopard was
forgotten, and it was found necessary to cut a hole in the roof to
accommodate the animal's neck. This done, SHEM sat upon the roof and held
an umbrella. SHEM thus _raised_ the umbrella. Then our further
question follows, Where did he raise it? Evidently he raised the umbrella
on the Ark.
These theories seem to us to be entitled to serious consideration; and
certainly it is a reasonable belief that, as the present suffering from the
high price of clothing is due to the sin of our first parents, so the
umbrella is the curse entailed by royalty, coming in with the First Reign
spoken of in history.
The umbrella appears again in ancient time in connection with DANIEL, who,
it is said, carried one into the lions' den. The authority for this is a
historical painting that has fallen into the hands of an itinerant showman.
A curious fact is stated with reference to this picture, namely, that
DANIEL so closely resembled the lions in personal appearance that it was
necessary for the showman to state that "DANIEL might easily be
distinguished from the lions on account of the blue cotton umbrella under
his right arm."
For what purpose this umbrella may have been carried we can only surmise.
The most probable theory is, that it was to be used there to intimidate the
lions, as it has since been used toward mad bulls and other ferocious
beasts.
We have now taken hold pretty firmly of what may be called the handle of
the umbrella. We have learned that, as ADAM raised CAIN, NOAH raised the
umbrella, and DANIEL carried one.
We have learned further that the umbrella carried by DANIEL was a blue
cotton umbrella--undoubtedly the most primitive type of the umbrella.
It is one of this class that your country friend brings down with him, that
darkeneth the heavens as with a canopy and maketh you ashamed of your
company. It is such an umbrella as this that is to be found or might have
been found, in ancient days, in every old farm-house--one that covered the
whole household when it went to church, occupying as much room when closed
as would the tent of an Arab.
We have heard it said that it was the impossibility of two umbrellas of
this nature passing each other on a narrow road which led to the invention
of covered wagons.
There is nothing lovely about a blue cotton umbrella, though there may have
been _under_ it at times and seasons. Skeletons of the species, much
faded as to color, much weakened as to whalebone, may still be found here
and there in backwoods settlements, where they are known as "umbrells;"
there are but few perfect specimens in existence.
The present style of the umbrella is varied, and sometimes elegant. The
cover is of silk; the ribs are of steel oftener than of bone, and the
handle is wrought into divers quaint and beautiful shapes. The most common
kind is the _hooked umbrella_. Most people have hooked umbrellas--or,
if this statement be offensive to any one, we will say that most people
have had umbrellas hooked. The chance resemblance of this expression to one
signifying to obstruct illegally that which properly belongs to another,
reminds us to speak of the singular fact that the umbrella is not property.
This is important. It rests on judicial decision, and becomes more
important when we remember that by similar decision the negro is property,
and that, therefore, until emancipation, the umbrella was superior to the
negro. The judicial decision cited will be found reported in _Vanity
Fair_, liber 3, page 265, and was on this wise: A man being arraigned
for stealing an umbrella, pleaded that it rained at the time, and he had no
umbrella. On these grounds he was discharged, and the judge took the
umbrella. (We may notice here how closely this decision has been followed,
even down to modern times, and touching other matters than umbrellas.)
This established the fact that the umbrella was not property that could be
bought, sold, and stolen, but a free gift of the manufacturer to universal
creation. The right of ownership in umbrellas ranked henceforward with our
right to own the American continent, being merely a right by discovery.
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
* * * * *
Depressing for Chicago.
The Chicago press has given up all hopes of the PRINCE OF WALES since he
has proved his innocence in regard to Lady MORDAUNT. Chicago had begun to
look upon him with mildly patronizing favor, when he was accused of a share
in a really first-class divorce case; but now that his innocence is
established, there is no longer any extenuating circumstance which can
induce Chicago to overlook the infamous crime of his royal birth.
* * * * *
Latest from the Isthmus of Suez.
Of all men, the followers of MOHAMMED are the most candid; since no matter
of what you accuse them, they always acknowledge the Koran.
* * * * *
Right and Left.
Because the P.& O. Directors have suspended their EYRE, we are not called
upon to suspend our anger. We decline to believe that he can justify
himself in leaving the Oneida, however blameless he may have been in the
matter of the collision. Because the Oneida was Left it does not follow
that the Bombay was Right.
[ILLUSTRATION:_Mr. Pugsby_. "I THINK, MY DEAR, WE'VE GIVEN HIM
LAUDANUM ENOUGH. SUPPOSE WE TRY A LITTLE STRYCHNINE?"
_Mrs. Pugsby_. "BUT MIGHTN'T THAT HURT HIM?"]
* * * * *
THE PLAYS AND SHOWS.
[Illustration]
Mr. BOUCICAULT might properly be called the author of the elementary Drama.
Not because his plays, like elementary lessons in French, are peculiarly
aggravating to the well-regulated mind, but because of his fondness for
employing one of the elements of nature--fire, water, or golden hair--in
the production of the sensation which invariably takes place in the fourth
or fifth act of each of his popular dramas. In the _Streets of
New-York_, he made a hit by firing a building at the spectacularly
disposed audience. In _Formosa_, he gave us a boat-race; and in
_Lost at Sea_, now running at WALLACK'S, he has renewed his former
fondness for playing with fire. The following condensed version of this
play is offered to the readers of PUNCHINELLO, with the assurance that,
though it may be a little more coherent than the unabridged edition, it is
a faithful picture of the sort of thing that Mr. BOUCICAULT, aided and
abetted by Mr. WALLACK, thinks proper to offer to the public.
* * * * *
LOST AT SEA.
ACT I. _Scene_ 1. _Enter Virtuous Banker_. "I have embezzled
WALTER CORAM'S money, and he is coming from India to claim it. I am a
ruined man."
_Enter Unprincipled Clerk_. "Not so. WALTER CORAM is lost at sea, and
we will keep the money."
_Virtuous Banker_. "Thank heaven! I am not found out, and can remain
an honest man as usual."
_Scene_ 2. _Enter Comic Villain_. "I am just released from prison
and must soon meet my wife." (_Swears and smashes in his hat_.)
_Enter Unprincipled Clerk_. "Not so. WALTER, CORAM is lost at sea.
Personate him, draw his money, and share it with me."
_Comic Villain_. "I will." (_Swears and smashes in his hat_.)
_Scene_ 3. _Enter Miss Effie Germon_. (Aside.) "I am supposed to
be a virtuous and vagabond boy. I hate to show my ankles in ragged
trowsers, but I must." (_Shows them. Applause_)
_Enter Daughter of Comic Villain_. "I love the unprincipled clerk; but
there is a sick stranger up-stairs who pokes the fire in a way that I can
hardly resist. Be firm, my heart. Shall I be untrue to my own unprincipled
-----"
_Enter Unprincipled Clerk_. "Not so. WALTER CORAM is lost at sea, and
I must leave these valuable boxes in your hands for safe-keeping."
(_Leaves the boxes, and then leaves himself_.)
_Enter Sick Stranger_. "I am WALTER CORAM. Those are my boxes.
Somebody is personating me. Big thing on somebody. Let him go ahead."
(_Curtain_.)
* * * * *
_Young Lady in the Audience_. "Isn't EFFIE GERMON perfectly lovely?"
_Accompanying Bostonian Youth_. "Yes; but you should see RISTORI in
_Marie Antoinette_. There is a sweetness and light about the great
tragedienne which -----"
_Heavy old Party, to contiguous Young Man_. "Don't think much of this;
do you? Now, in TOM PLACIDS's day----" _Contiguous and aggrieved Young
Man pleads an engagement and hastily goes out_.