"Oh! I wouldn't have done that!"
Of course you would not. No sane lad would ever be led away by his
imagination to be guilty of any folly whatever. No one with a
well-balanced brain would, for a moment, ever dream of being guilty of
an act that would cause him repentance for years. In other words, we
are all of us so thoroughly perfect that we go straight on through life,
laughing at temptations, triumphing over our weakness, and so manly and
confident in our own strength of mind that we continue our life's
journey, never slipping, never stumbling, but bounding along to its
highest point, where we pitch our caps in the air, flap our arms for
want of wings, stretch out our throats, open our beaks, and cry
"Cock-a-doodle-doo!" which, being translated from the gallinaceous
tongue into plain English, means--"Look at me! Here I am! Did you ever
see such a fine fellow in your life? I don't believe there was ever my
equal born into the world!"
There was a comic philosopher born in the West, and his name was Artemus
Ward; and every now and then, after a verbal flourish of this kind, he
used to conclude by saying--
"This is wrote sarcastic."
So are these remarks concerning Richard Frayne's act, when, agonised by
the horror of his position, and rankling mentally at being believed
contemptible enough to have obtained the money, monkey-fashion, by using
his cousin as catspaw, he had gradually become so out of balance that he
was ready for any reckless act.
A few words from the proper quarter would have set him right; a kindly
bit or two of sympathy from his fellow-students would have helped him;
but everyone but the servant held rigidly aloof, and when the dark,
blank night-time came, and the long hours of agony culminated in a
feeling of utter, hopeless despair, he sat alone there in his room,
ready to dash at anything which would, even if temporarily, relieve him
from the terrible strain.
At last he forced himself into thinking as calmly as he could, setting
himself to consider all that he had to face.
Mark was dying fast. The doctors had said it, and in a few hours he
would stand in the eyes of the world as, if not his murderer, the cause
of his death. Next there must be that terrible public examination and
the verdict--manslaughter; it could be no other, he told himself. Then
there would be a magisterial examination, ending in his being committed
for trial. After this, a long, weary waiting--possibly on bail--and
then the trial.
He arranged all of it in his own mind, perfectly satisfied that his view
was too correct, and never once stopping to think that people would
calmly investigate every circumstance of the trouble, and, while making
every allowance, sift out the pearl truth from the sand and bitter ashes
in which it was hidden. In his then frame of mind, he could only think
the very worst of everything; for always before him was that terrible
scene in which he was bound to take part. He felt that he could nerve
himself to stand before coroner, magistrate, even judge, if matters went
so far; but he could not face the sweet-faced, sorrowing mother and the
weak invalid father, who must be now hastening back to their dying son
as fast as trains could bear them.
Condemn, pity, ridicule, which you will; but the fact remains. A kind
of panic had attacked Richard Frayne, and he prepared for the folly he
was about to commit. There were the two courses open--a frank, manly
meeting of the consequences, whatever they might be, or the act of a
coward.
The hours passed, and his mind was fully made up. And now everything he
did was in a quiet, decisive fashion, with as much method in his madness
as ever the great poet endowed his Danish hero.
He changed his clothes, putting on the quiet dark tweed suit Jerry
missed, and went back into his room, to stand there in the gloom,
looking round and vainly trying to make out the various objects there,
every one being loved like some old friend.
But he could not look the farewell, and began slowly to go round the
room, laying his hand upon each in turn--his favourite books and
pictures, his piano, the violin, the cornet, and the big 'cello in its
case where it stood in the corner--all such dear old friends, and it was
good-bye for ever!
And as he went on, his hand at last touched the little, long morocco
case lying upon the side-table.
He clutched it hard, and something like a sob struggled to his lips; for
that case contained, in company with the little piccolo, the flute that
was once the property of the brave old soldier whose helmet hung dented
there with its drooping black horse-hair plume.
Richard's thoughts went back into the past, and he recalled the evenings
when he as a little child was enraptured listening to some operatic
selection brilliantly played, while his mother sat accompanying upon the
piano. Then he recollected the first lessons given him by his father
upon that very flute, and years after the plaudits he listened to with
burning cheeks after he had played one of his father's favourite pieces
with such skill and execution that these words followed:
"Keep the flute, Dick, my boy, for my sake; it is yours."
And now he was bidding it farewell for ever--there in the darkness of
that lonely night, whose silence was broken from time to time by the
chiming and booming of the great Cathedral clock, which once more, to
his disordered imagination, seemed associated with a solemn procession
to the tomb.
Richard Frayne's breast swelled and his hands trembled as his fingers
clung round that little morocco case. Then, as a weak sob once more
struggled for utterance, his breast swelled suddenly more and more, till
there was a long, hard lump down the left side beneath the
closely-buttoned jacket.
For, quick as lightning, the little case had been transferred to his
breast-pocket. It was his father's. He could not part from that.
The rest of the favourite objects lying around were quickly touched; and
then, there, in the middle of the room, the lad stood, feeling old and
careworn, opposite two relics which he felt would be honourably removed
from where they hung and sent away.
He could not see them--and yet he could, inwardly, in his mind's eye--
the gilded metal helmet and the sabre.
Then, as if performing some solemn act, the lad took a couple of steps
towards the wall, gently and reverently lifted down the helmet, pressed
his lips to the front, and put it back, to take down the sword and hold
the blade and scabbard to his breast as he kissed the hilt.
Saddened visions came trooping before his closed eyes in that darkness--
of himself: a man, a soldier, as his father had been, an officer leading
men against the enemies of his country; and at that, in his despair, he
uttered a low, piteous sigh, and hung the sword in its place.
He drew back then, uttering a sound like a moan, and opened his eyes
with a start; for a pale, bluish light was slowly filling the room--a
light that seemed ghastly to him and unreal.
But it was the dawn of another day, the most eventful of his life, and
he knew it was time to act.
There was one more thing to be done, and his action in this was
accompanied by a shudder.
But he was quite firm and determined now, for his mind was fully made
up. He had that to do first, and he would do it.
He was already at the door, hat in hand, when he recalled another little
thing, and, turning quickly back to the table, he sat down and wrote the
few lines to Jerry, folded them, and laid them near the loaf, from which
earlier in the night he had broken off a few fragments to allay the
gnawing hunger he had felt.
Now that was all, and, turning to the door once more, he paused for a
final look round at the shadowy room, where the only thing which stood
out clearly was the helmet, and this, seen in profile, seemed to assume
a stern and threatening aspect.
The next minute he was outside in the dark passage, listening; and then,
as all was still, he walked, firmly and quietly, to the other end of the
mansion, to stop by his cousin's door.
Here the chill of death seemed to strike upon him. No light stole
through crack or keyhole--all was darkness and silence--and he sank upon
his knees, to remain motionless for a few minutes, and then rise firmer
of purpose than ever.
It was later than he thought, for his various preparations had taken
time; and the soft glow of morning lit up the east staircase window as
he slowly raised it, stepped out on to the leads, closed it again, and
then, climbing over the balcony rails, lowered himself down till he
could hang for a moment or two from the bottom of one of the iron bars,
swing himself to and fro by his wrists, and then, with a backward
spring, drop lightly on to the turf beneath.
In another minute--unseen, unheard--he had passed out of the gate and
was walking through the town, making for the lower road and the swollen
river.
Here he rapidly awoke to the fact that the waters were out far more
widely than he had ever seen them before; and again and again, as he
made for the path that ran along by the river toward the bridge, he was
driven back, the flood turning the different lanes he tried into huge
ditches or canals.
He tried every turning so as to reach the bridge as soon as possible,
but it was always the same; and finally, after consuming a good deal of
time, he made his way round by the road, following it on till it bore
away to his right, crossing the river by the old two-spanned wooden
bridge and then winding onward among the sunny vales and hills of Kent.
As he walked on swiftly, now in the bright sunshine, it was with his
head lowered and a curious feeling of guilt troubling him. He told
himself that he ought to have left the place sooner, and he shivered at
the thought of being seen by someone who, knowing all the circumstances,
would catch him by the arm and insist upon his going back.
But, at heart, he knew that the words would be in vain. Back he would
never go, and, strong and active, he felt that he could easily free
himself from the detaining clutch, and then--there was the river.
Richard had some recollection of passing or being passed by a man with
sheep; but he was coming in the opposite direction, and this did not
seem an enemy to fear, as he shouted from beyond the flock, and above
the patter of their hoofs, a cheery "Good-morning."
Richard smiled bitterly to himself as he hurried on. Good-morning! If
that happy, careless fellow had known!
At last, with his heart beating fast, and with the rushing sound of the
river ever on the increase, he turned the curve which led to the wooden
bridge, and, with his eyes fixed upon the dusty road, increased his
pace, till he was suddenly brought up short, just as he was about to
step down into the foaming, roaring flood.
Richard Frayne stood there aghast, staring at the gulf before him, and
then at the ragged piles on the other side, from which the hard
light-coloured road ran on and on between hedges, rising higher and
higher above unflooded meadows--the road leading to safety and rest,
away from the terrible troubles which had driven him to this wildly
reckless act.
For Jerry Brigley was as wrong as he was right--right in his surmise
that Richard would seek the bridge, which crossed the river at its
deepest part, but wrong in imagining that it was for so horrible a deed.
No: it was the way to safety--to places where he was unknown. There was
an idea fixed in his mind, and it was to carry out this idea that he had
sought the bridge--to find it gone, and escape in that direction gone as
well!
Still, he could swim vigorously as a young seal; but he shrank from so
desperate a venture, for the swirling flood told him too plainly that it
would be extremely doubtful whether the strongest swimmer who ventured
there would ever reach the other side. If he did, it would be miles
below. And as he looked, it was to see the carcase of a horse, a great
willow-tree (torn out by the roots), and a broken gate float by.
What should he do?
There was a ferry two miles beyond the mill, but he felt that no boat
would take him across.
There was the old stone bridge, too, at Raynes Corner, six miles down
the road. Well, he must cross there, for it was not likely that the
sturdy piers could have suffered even from such a flood as this.
That would do. He would get over the river there; but he must avoid the
road, where he might meet the police or people going into the town, who
knew him by sight as one of Mr Draycott's pupils.
Fortunately he knew the country well, and he could go along the high
bank below the bridge as far as the mill, get into the field path at the
back, and pass through the woods, and on and on as near the river as he
could wherever the waters were not out.
Climbing over the rails by the side of the raised road, he dropped down
and hurried down to the mill, to find to his dismay that beyond it the
fields were covered and that a great deal of the woodland was under
water, too. As for the path at the side of the mill, it was only dry
for some twenty yards, and then ended in a dark-looking lake.
It was impossible to go by there, and he turned back toward the bridge,
glancing up at the back of the mill as he reached it to see if he was
observed.
But not a soul was stirring, for the simple reason that it had been
closed just before; and he sighed as he thought of the pleasant days he
had spent there, seated upon the weir, gazing down at the bar-sided
perch playing about and shrimp-seeking in the weeds of the piles, and at
the great fat barbel wallowing in the gravelly holes where the stream
ran swiftest.
Happy days gone for ever, he thought, as he stepped out once more on the
bank path, towards whose surface the tide was rapidly climbing up. He
was making for the bridge once more, when his ears were thrilled by a
faint, hoarse cry; and, as he looked in its direction, it was to see a
white face, level with the muddy water, gliding rapidly down behind the
saturated fleecy coat of a drowned sheep, which was evidently keeping
the unfortunate up.
It was a boy, by the smooth face--probably a shepherd lad, swept in
while endeavouring to preserve his charge--only Richard did not think of
that. His own troubles were forgotten, his best instincts aroused, in
the desire to save the drowning lad.
He saw at a glance how short a distance the helpless boy was from the
bank, and that an eddy was setting him in so near that, if he went close
down to the rushing water, he might be able to reach out and seize the
fleece of the sheep as they passed.
In a few seconds Richard was down, knee-deep in water, holding on with
his left hand to the reedy growth of the bank and reaching out to snatch
at the sheep.
Vain attempt.
The dead animal did not come within five yards, but, after curving in,
literally shot out again towards the middle of the river and was borne
down, the boy uttering a despairing wail as he saw his help fade away.
At the same moment Richard Frayne felt the mud giving beneath his feet,
and he had hard work to struggle out on to firm land. And then there
was another despairing cry for help, so faint and yet so penetrating to
the cowardly fugitive's heart that he turned, forgot everything but the
fact that a brother was dying before his eyes, and took one brave plunge
into the swollen river, to pass under into the thunderous darkness,
feeling as if he had suddenly been grasped by a giant who was bearing
him down.