MISS FALCONER
"Who gives himself airs of importance exhibiteth the credentials
of impotence."
Lavater.
AUGUST came, and gradually the neighbourhood began to grow lively
with visitors and tourists. Once or twice Rowena had visits from the
Frasers. And then one day Miss Falconer came. Rowena had written to her
and asked her to come to tea. Mysie had had a good deal to tell Rowena
about her new governess.
"You won't mind anything I say, will you? I beseech you to let me talk
anyhow! When I'm with Dad I don't. He says I must respect and obey Miss
Falconer."
"So you must, you little imp! But you can tell me anything you like."
"Then can you really like a person you respect and obey?"
"Rather. You can't like people unless you do respect them. You respect
your Dad. I hope you respect me.'
"And I hope you respect me," put in Mysie eagerly. "Do you?"
"Yes, I do," Rowena said promptly. "I respect your feelings, and
wouldn't hurt them for the world."
"Then," said Mysie with big earnest eyes; "that's just what's the
matter with Miss Falconer, she's always hurting me inside. She smiles,
and she never loses her temper; but she says things that shows me she's
mocking me. And I can bear it all except her laughing at fairies and
all the stories Angus tells me. Dad says she's not a true Highlander,
but she says she's related to them. And she laughs at Flora—she calls
her a misguided, 'motional female; and Prince Charlie, she actually
calls him a rascal, and says he lived to be a bad old man!"
"She's not a Jacobite," said Rowena. "Lots of good people didn't like
Prince Charlie. They were staunch and loyal to their own king."
She found it rather difficult to comfort Mysie. And when Miss Falconer
came to see her, she resolved she would say something to her about her
little pupil's romantic tendencies. She found her an extremely pleasant
and clever young woman. Her fair golden hair, delicate pointed pale
face, and large dark eyes gave her a very refined and youthful look.
But her conversation was stimulating and Rowena quite enjoyed her
little talk with her on the current topics of the day.
"My friends tell me I am burying myself alive here," said Miss
Falconer; "but all through my busiest times I looked forward to a
country cottage as a far-away ideal to be realized. And when I came
into a little money and had a breakdown I thankfully came off here.
My cousin, Lady Grant, told me about it. They will be coming here in
September. I suppose you know them?"
"The Grants of Dalghetty? Yes."
"I have wanted to see you so much. I heard that you, like myself, are
driven by your health into forced seclusion. Does the quiet really rest
you, or does it after a time irritate and bore you?"
"It doesn't irritate me," said Rowena. "But I dare say in my case the
contrast is not so marked. I have not been like you, one of the world's
workers."
"But during the war surely you did something?"
"Nothing but look after my sister-in-law and her children."
Miss Falconer's face expressed surprise and disapproval.
"I was working at fever heat those four years. I could not give up my
teaching. I was at a High School in Hampstead, but in my off hours I
did canteen work. And, in addition, I was coaching Ambulance classes.
I longed to go abroad. But I could not be spared. That was a real
grief to me. When I first came here, I felt exhausted with life;
then, after a good bit of rest, I began to long to communicate myself
to somebody. Do you know that craving? I have so much that I feel I
must give out—share with my fellow-creatures. I tried to befriend the
parish schoolmaster. What an antiquated, conservative bit of humanity
he is! and so slow in his drawling speech that I have not the patience
to listen to him! It was through him that I heard of little Mysie
Macdonald. I hope he does not bear me a grudge for taking her away from
him, but really, what kind of education do you think he could give her?
I dare say he may do very well for the Highland children, but Mysie is
too quick and clever to be placed in their groove."
"Then you find her clever?"
"On the surface, very—but she is sadly wanting in stability of thought
and in solid perseverance."
"She's rather small for that."
"My dear Miss Arbuthnot, a child's never too small to be trained in
good habits."
"She's a fascinating monkey. A very pleasant companion I find her. I
love her mystical and romantic beliefs in all our Highland folk-lore.
Whatever you do, don't take that from her."
"Oh, all that comes from her being brought up by these Highland
servants. If I were not so intensely fond of teaching, I should be
rather downhearted sometimes. For, my dear Miss Arbuthnot, it is
hard to get some children to learn, but it is a thousand times more
difficult to get them to unlearn. And that is the bed-rock with Mysie.
I must shatter some of her ignorant prejudices before I can start to
build."
"Don't shatter her faith. It's such a precious quality."
"Would you have a clever child believe in witches, and incantation, and
barbaric superstitions?"
"Yes, I would," said Rowena with a little laugh, "till they can replace
them with other things. A child ought to have strong faith when she is
young. You'll turn her into a critical unhuman little prig if you make
her sceptical of all the beautiful childish imaginary folk-lore we have
here."
"And what about religion?"
"Oh, her father will teach her that. He has enough himself and to
spare."
"A growing girl has such an infinite amount to learn," said Miss
Falconer; "the growth of her threefold nature demands it. Mysie is past
the age for pretty fancies. I want to teach her the worth of her body,
soul and spirit. Her body and her soul, or intellect, I feel I am well
able to cope with, but as regards her religion I want to have a talk
with her father about that. I keep an open mind myself. I have had
Roman Catholic pupils, Anglican and Nonconformist. I have had one or
two Mohammedan pupils, and my rule is to train them absolutely in their
parents' creed and faith."
Rowena felt this delicate young woman was rather astonishing her.
"Can you teach what you do not believe yourself?" she inquired.
"Assuredly. I have always had the power of throwing my whole soul into
the subject which I am studying. My head grips it and holds it, though
my heart remains untouched."
"Mere mechanical motion," murmured Rowena; "well, machinery
accomplishes wonders nowadays. But you cannot inspire them with
enthusiasm if you do not feel it yourself."
"Enthusiasm is not good in religion," said Miss Falconer calmly. "It
leads to fanaticism, which is unhealthy."
"And are you enthusiastic about nothing?" asked Rowena.
Miss Falconer's eyes glowed.
"Ah, you ask me a great question. I want to train the girlhood of
England to know their value. In these times it is more than necessary.
Our sex has made great strides in all that they have put their hands
to. They are the most valuable asset of the nation. Is there a single
position of power or influence which woman is now not competent to
fill?"
"The biggest position of power and influence for a woman is the home,"
said Rowena very quietly.
Miss Falconer looked at her, and once as often before Rowena's eyes
misled her.
"You are laughing at me. Thank goodness we have enlarged our borders,
and broken the chains of subservient, degrading service under the male."
"And now we'll have tea," said Rowena, turning to welcome Janet with
the tea tray. "Whatever the modern woman has learnt, she has not yet
broken away from the thrall of the tea-cup."
She refused to be drawn into serious discussion again, but showed her
most ridiculous and frivolous side for the rest of Miss Falconer's
visit, and when she had gone she said to her dear dog:
"Shags, my dear, you took a good sniff at her, what is your honest
opinion of her? I am afraid she is somewhat of a firebrand. I hardly
like to think of darling warm-hearted little Mysie being brought into
conformance with her will and teaching. I wonder if the laird has any
idea of the character of his governess? I would enjoy hearing them
have a religious talk together! Well, my dear young woman, you have a
strong belief in yourself and your own power. But personally I would
like you to fall head over ears in love with a man who would box your
ears when you dared contradict him! You are very, very young in your
self-assertiveness, and you make me feel very, very old when I am
talking to you!"
It was some time before Rowena saw General Macdonald. He went up to
London on business and was away ten days. Mysie seemed settling down
with her governess, but the day before her father returned, she came
flying over to Rowena.
"I am so excited I can't keep still. I do hope Dad won't forget to
come home to-morrow. I want to ask you something. It's very solemn
and sober—so you're not to laugh, and you're to shut your eyes and
listen—just like people do in a long sermon."
"All right. Go ahead."
Rowena was always ready to oblige her little friend. She shut her eyes
obediently.
"I am ready," she said, "and my ears are stretched as wide as they can
be, quite impatient to hear."
"You know Miss Falconer talks and talks and talks to me, and she thinks
it wrong of me to be always wishing I'm a boy. She says girls are
the best people that God has made. And she says I must be proud I'm
a woman, for women are going to rule the world. I asked her if that
meant that they need not obey anybody—and she said yes. Full freedom
and liberty was a woman's, now. So I asked her why I need obey grown-up
people now—and she said it was necessary—and I asked her how long—and
she said I would know when I grew up. So I said that when I was twenty
need I obey Dad? And she said when I was twenty-one, I was of age, and
could live my own life like a man, and then she asked me what I was
going to do, that I ought to make up my mind to earn my own living,
and be free of everybody. I rather like that; and I've made up my
mind to be a traveller and discover new places. I shall travel in an
airship—and just think if I could find my way to one of the stars! And
Dad won't be able to say 'No' to me when I'm grown-up."
"I rather think he will," said Rowena gravely. "Of course Miss Falconer
hasn't got a Dad to look after and to love; but your Dad will want you
with him, I am sure. And by the time you will have lived with him a few
more years, you will love him so much that you won't want to leave him."
"Perhaps he would like to come with me in my airship, but I should have
to be captain. Miss Falconer says all men are worn out, and women are
getting fresher and stronger every day. Dad is rather tired, you know;
he says he is worn out. But I shan't be, and when I grow big I shall be
stronger than him in every way. Isn't that splendid to think of?"
Rowena felt a blank dismay settle upon her as she listened to the
child. She wondered how her father would like this style of teaching.
Mysie was full of the superiority of the female sex and could talk of
nothing else. It was quite a new idea to her, and she had seized hold
of it with the greatest avidity. And Rowena felt it was impossible
to contradict her governess's statements, for fear of upsetting her
authority.
"Well," she said, "what do you really want to ask me?"
Mysie pursed her lips into a round ball.
"I want you to ask Dad to give me a dear little flying machine for my
birthday. I really shan't care for anything else now. Miss Falconer
told me girls can fly just as well as men. They can do everything
better, she says. And I want to learn as soon and as fast as I can."
"That is a very big ask," said Rowena. "I think Dad would say you
must grow up first, and by the time you have grown-up, Flora, the air
machine will have grown less dangerous, and more easy to manage in
every way."
"Ah, but I don't like easy things, and Miss Falconer says men have
always given the easiest softest jobs to women, and they won't take
them now."
"But you are not a woman, only a little girl. Look at Shags, he has
been thumping his tail on the ground for ever so long to attract your
attention. He hates these grave grown-up talks. And so do I. We won't
grow up, Flora, just yet. I like to pretend I'm just your age. And I'm
going to ask you to come out on the loch with me now. I said I would go
this afternoon. And I'm going to pretend we have been shipwrecked, and
are on a raft searching for land."
In a moment Mysie's knitted brow had cleared. She clapped her hands
joyfully.
"Hurra! And I'll row you—and you'll be dying for water, and we daren't
drink the sea all round us. And then I'll be desp'rate and drink a
lot and go mad in the boat! Oh, it will be fun! Come on! Shall I call
Granny's Colin to take you out?"
Rowena was almost sorry she had proposed such a game, but she trusted
to her authority and to Colin's stolid good sense to be able to curb
Mysie's high spirits when in the boat.
They had a very enjoyable time on the loch that afternoon. And Rowena
had the satisfaction of seeing that for the time the problem of the
woman in the world no longer troubled the curly head of her little
friend. When Mysie finally left her, she said:
"Oh, I wish Miss Falconer would make up games and play with me; but she
goes away directly lessons are over. She thinks everything but lessons
is waste of time. I'm glad I only have her half a day!"
A few days later General Macdonald came over.
He looked more cheerful than usual, and began to tell Rowena of some
new books he had read in town, and which he thought might interest
her. He always took the greatest interest in what she was doing, and
rarely mentioned his own affairs till other topics of conversation were
finished.
"I suppose Mysie's in the seventh heaven of delight at having you back
again?" Rowena said presently.
He smiled.
"I have her in my dressing-room every morning when she is dressed, to
read me ten verses out of the Bible. I don't keep her long. She was
reading about the centurion and our Lord. We had a talk about 'under
authority' and what it means. She had some wild idea in her head that
men and women when full grown were not under any authority, that no law
need touch them. I fancy I made her understand a little more about that
matter than she has ever done yet."
"You think she is getting on with Miss Falconer?"
"Excellently. I had a most interesting talk with Miss Falconer
yesterday. It was raining, so she stayed to lunch; and whilst we were
having coffee in the library afterwards, she spoke to me about the
child's religious training. She seemed to grasp my ideas at once. I
should say she was a sincere Christian woman, and I'm thankful to think
the child's training is in her hands."
Rowena was dumb.
"She's a most interesting talker," he went on; "she quite held me
spellbound. And young though she is, she seems to have had tremendous
experience of life. She told me a little of her family history. I'm so
glad you know her. She seems a lonely little soul, and has met with
little sympathy through her life."
"I have only seen her once. She is a great talker, so I learnt a lot
about her different views. She was absolutely frank with me. Very
broad-minded, I should say. She has dipped into many creeds."
"Perhaps you did not get into such deep waters as we did. She agreed
with my views entirely, and means conscientiously to train the child's
spiritual part as well as her intellectual."
Rowena began to feel bored. She turned the conversation into other
channels.
"It is none of my business," she assured herself when the visit was
over. "And I'm not religious myself. She seems so adaptable that I
dare say she will train Mysie in a mechanical way as he wishes her to
be trained. He must discover for himself whether she is training her
rightly. She is not my child, and I shan't bother my head about her."
But it was one thing to say, another to act, and Rowena's mind was much
exercised over Mysie's education. She thought about it day and night.
"Mysie will come to loggerheads with her father sooner or later and
then there will be disaster. Miss Falconer is sowing seeds of rebellion
against authority in that small mind. I wonder how it will end? Surely
the child herself will repeat some of her governess's speeches to her
father."
But that was just what Mysie did not seem to do. She threw her
small self into the affairs of the moment. When lessons were over,
her fishing or boating or riding with her father were of paramount
importance; lessons and Miss Falconer were forgotten. Only the
enjoyment of the moment remained.
Gradually Rowena became aware that Miss Falconer was impressing the
father, as well as the child. Her strong personality could not but
be felt in the laird's house. And yet, to the General, she seemed a
type of all that was feminine and sweet. One day they all came over
to tea with Rowena. Jeannie Falconer was at her very best. Bright and
sympathetic, not self-assertive, rather appealing to the General for
his opinion upon subjects, and by her interested silence making him
believe that she was an appreciative listener. Mysie was unusually
quiet. Rowena thought that she seemed a little afraid of her governess.
Once, when General Macdonald took Miss Falconer round the garden, Mysie
crept very close to Rowena's couch.
"We don't see each other often now," she said wistfully. "Miss Falconer
tells Dad I oughtn't to go about the country alone. And if he doesn't
come over, I can't. Dad is very nice to go about with, but he doesn't
quite understand like you do. Why do you understand so well?"
"Understand what, you whipper-snapper?"
"Oh, how I feel sometimes."
"I remember how I used to feel when I was as little as you," said
Rowena rather gravely. "I was a wild bit of a girl myself. But you're a
happy child to have such a father."
"I do worship him!" Mysie said fervently. "But I can't talk to him
about lessons as I do you. He says I'm a happy child to have such a
good governess. But Miss Falconer isn't always good to me."
She held out one small hand to Rowena, palm upwards.
"See that red mark; she hits me with the ruler when I make awful
mistakes. And she makes me cry when she laughs at Prince Charlie—she
likes me to cry, I know she does."
"Oh, Flora darling, I'm sure she cannot."
"But she does. I don't talk to her now, for I won't be laughed at!"
There was a vindictive tone in her voice that made Rowena draw her
close to her. And then Mysie, always so self-controlled, surprised
Rowena by beginning to sob.
Clasping her round the neck she cried:
"Oh, get Dad to send me to school. I'd like it better than Miss
Falconer. She's too heavy upon me. I feel I can't rise up. I think, do
you know, that she stamps upon my soul inside. She always seems to know
what I'm thinking, and then she mocks me!"
No more could be said, for Mysie's father returned. She and her
governess walked home first, General Macdonald was going on to a farm.
When they had gone Rowena suddenly resolved to speak.
"General Macdonald, do you think that Mysie is happy with Miss
Falconer?"
"Certainly I do. Do you doubt it?"
"The child seems to have lost her joyous spirits. From Miss Falconer's
talk to me, I should think her more fitted for older girls than a child
of Mysie's age and sensibilities. She doesn't understand imaginative
children. She seems to me, if I may criticize, an admirable machine,
capable of managing and controlling girls en masse, but having no love
for individuals."
"You astonish me! She seems so very sympathetic. Of course Mysie was
let run wild too long. I think she has improved wonderfully with Miss
Falconer: much quieter and more tractable."
"Oh, I love originality," said Rowena with a snap in her tone. "I don't
like a child modelled according to pattern. Win Mysie's confidence. Let
her pour out her soul to you, for I assure you she won't pour it out to
Miss Falconer. And it is bad for a child to be secretive and reserved."
"I am very sorry you do not like Miss Falconer," said General Macdonald
somewhat stiffly. "I can tell from your tone that you do not. She has
my full confidence and regard."
[Illustration: She only felt strong arms lift her.]
And Rowena threw prudence to the winds.
"I don't trust her. I think she adapts herself to anybody, and does not
let you know her real opinions, which are not what you think them to
be. I wouldn't let her have the handling of a little niece of mine for
all the world!"
"My dear Miss Arbuthnot!" General Macdonald was gazing at her
perturbedly. "Don't you think you may be mistaken in your estimate of
her? I have had more opportunity than you of judging. You have only
seen her once or twice. They say women never understand each other.
And yet she speaks so warmly of you. Thinks you are so patient under
affliction. She told me she is torn by pity when she looks at you!"
Rowena gave a little snort, then began to laugh.
"I dare say I seem a brute! I will shut up. But I love Mysie, she's a
darling, and I hate seeing her spirits broken. Get her to talk to you
about her lessons. Ask her what Miss Falconer talks to her about. You
know half an hour of her lessons every day consists in a monologue of
Miss Falconer upon topical subjects and the present state of the world.
Afterwards Mysie has to write out as much as she can remember of it.
Get her to show you some of her papers. You will judge then whether
Miss Falconer is suitable for a little child of nine. And do forgive my
interference, and be friends with me still."
Rowena held out her hand, and spoke in her most winning tone.
General Macdonald took it as he rose to leave her.
"You have given me food for thought," he said; "but I think and hope
you are mistaken."
He went, and Rowena turned to Shags.
"Oh, aren't men great simple blundering darlings? How easily they can
be taken in! We certainly are their superiors in diplomacy and deceit!
Shags, I have become a mischief-maker, and I am not a bit sorry for
what I have done!"