XVI

The agitation pervading the house was sinister. Laurence felt as though

witnessing the convulsions of some human body, seen only heretofore amid

the restraints and graceful amenities of society; but now abandoned and

indecently torn in its last agony. If indeed Mr. Rivers was dying, his

soul was not merely quitting its fragile, fleshly tabernacle; but was

also, very sensibly, quitting this larger tabernacle of house and

household which it had informed through a long course of years, and

moulded to express its tastes, flatter its idiosyncrasies, and forestall

its every wish. It was fitting, therefore, though fearful, that this

outer envelope of the owner's life should be shaken, and lose its

habitual immutability and impervious calm; while his well-drilled

servants, usually obedient as machines to the direction of his hand, ran

distracted, scared and helpless as a flock of frightened sheep.

The men hurried aimlessly, spoke in whispers. Members of the

establishment with whom Laurence was unacquainted invaded the corridor

from the direction of the offices. At the foot of the staircase were

grouped the stout, French _chef_, in spotless, linen cap and jacket, his

attendant scullions, and a couple of men arrayed in long, green baize

aprons and black, calico blouses, the full sleeves of which buttoned

tight around the wrist. The coachman was there too, a stable helper, and

the groom who had accompanied Laurence on his first visit to Bishop's

Pudbury. All these persons were well on in middle life, some old,

white-haired, and bent. All appeared deeply moved, an inarticulate

confusion in their looks, as though finding themselves suddenly

confronted by dire calamity. Laurence had seen men look thus in the

breathless pause, between recurrent earthquake shocks, among the rocking

buildings of a far-away, Spanish-American city. As he passed them,

coming from that light, clear-coloured room, they stared at him, and

slunk aside as though a fresh terror was added to those which already so

unmanned them. In their present state of feeling the seemly decorum of

respectful service was relaxed; and to Laurence, overwrought by his

recent and strange experiences, it appeared that they shrunk from him

as from one unclean and outcast.

He turned rather sternly upon Renshaw. "What is the meaning of all this

commotion? If I was wanted, why on earth was I not called sooner?"

The butler's large, smooth, egg-shaped face turned from purple to

something approaching grey.

"We had looked for you everywhere, sir, both myself and Mr. Watkins," he

answered. "But until Mr. Lowndes suggested it, in consequence of some

remark passed by Mr. Rivers, it had never occurred to us that you would

be in the yellow drawing-room, sir."--Renshaw cleared his throat,

recovering some of his accustomed dignity of bearing. "The electric

light is switched on from the corridor outside, you will observe, sir.

It has always been understood that no one--neither the upper or the

under servants, sir--are ever required to go into the yellow

drawing-room after dusk."

And with these words, and their implication of commerce on his part with

something unlawful and malign, sounding in his ears, Laurence passed

into his uncle's bed-chamber.

As he did so, a blast of air, hot and dry as from the mouth of a

furnace, met him. The fire upon the hearth was piled up into a mountain

of blazing coal and wood. The light of it filled the room with a fitful,

lurid brilliance such as is produced by a great conflagration. In it,

the breasts of the couchant sphinxes glowed, seeming to rise and fall as

though they breathed. The caryatides supporting the ebony canopy

likewise appeared imbued with life. Their smooth arms and bowed

shoulders strained under the weight resting upon them; while the wreaths

of fruit and blossom, girding their naked loins, heaved from the

painfully sustained effort of nerve and muscle. The snake-locks of the

Medusa's head, carved in high relief upon the circular, central panel of

the back of the bedstead, writhed, twisted, interlaced and again slid

asunder, as in frustrated desire and ceaseless suffering.

And along the middle of the great bed, surrounded by these opulent

forms, and, at first sight, far less alive than they, lay Mr. Rivers.

His face was so blanched, so unsubstantial, that, but for the glittering

eyes still greedy of knowledge, it would have hardly been

distinguishable from the white pillows supporting him. His shoulders and

chest were muffled in a costly, sable cape; from beneath the lower edge

of which his hands, thin as reeds, protruded, lying inert upon the

thickly-wadded, blue-and-gold, damask coverlet. On the oak table--moved

from its place by the armchair to the bedside--were the few handsomely

bound books, the crystal _memento mori_ resting on its strip of crimson

embroidery, and a silver bell, the handle of it shaped as a slender,

winged Mercury, elegantly poised for flight.

Behind the table stood Lowndes, the long-armed, hard-featured valet. He

apparently remained untouched by the spirit of anarchy let loose in the

house. Laurence, drawing near, looked at him, silently asking

instructions. The man fetched a chair and placed it close against the

bedside.

"Be so good as to lean down, sir," he said. "Mr. Rivers wishes to

converse with you; but he has had a seizure, which has slightly affected

both his speech and hearing. He cannot raise his voice."

Laurence did as he was bidden. He leaned towards the old man, resting

his right hand upon the haunches of the ebony sphinx, which felt

singularly warm to his touch.

"The term of your probation and of mine alike draws to its close," Mr.

Rivers said in a small, thin voice; and, for almost the first time in

their intercourse, Laurence saw him smile.

"I hope this is only a passing attack, sir, and that you may rally," he

answered.--He looked up at Lowndes. "Has everything been done that can

be? Have you telegraphed for the doctors?"

"I have administered the prescribed restoratives. But Mr. Rivers ordered

that no further measures should be attempted until after his interview

with you, sir."

The sick man raised his hand feebly, yet with an imperious gesture.

"I do not propose to ask further advice of physicians," he said. "Their

science is but a mockery at this juncture; at least, in the estimation

of a person of my habit of mind. That by the employment of drugs and of

stimulants they might prolong a semblance of animation in this physical

husk of me, I do not deny. But what advantage can accrue from that, when

my mental activity is becoming paralysed, and the action of my brain

grows sluggish and intermittent? When all that differentiates a human

being from the brute beasts has perished, let the animal part perish

also. The sooner, the better; for, in itself, it is far from precious."

His voice had become very faint, and he waited, making a determined

effort, as Laurence perceived, to rally his ebbing powers.

"Tell Lowndes to go," he whispered. "I wish to be alone with you."

Then as the man-servant noiselessly withdrew, the thin, but barely

audible accents again stole out upon the fiercely heated air.

"The body, its necessities, its passions, its perpetually impeding

grossness throughout life, is an insult to the mind. But the final act

of this long course of insult, namely, the decay of this vile associate,

is the culminating insolence, the most unpardonable insult of all. I

have trained myself to ignore these thoughts, to disregard them as a

proud man disregards some mutilation or personal disfigurement. But

they crowd in upon me, refusing to be disregarded, to-night. Here lies

the sting of the insult! For as the strength of this vile, animal part

of me lessens, far from setting the intellect free, it infects this last

with its own increasing degradation. The lower drags the higher down

along with it. They grovel together. Contemptible doubts and fears

assail me. Discredited traditions press themselves upon my remembrance.

And the burden of it all is this, that I have laboured in vain. As the

body dies, so dies the mind. All the garnered knowledge of years will be

lost, will drop infertile, into the void--the insatiable void which

yawns alike for high philosopher and for drivelling pothouse sot."

His voice sank, in uttering the last few words, into a whisper of

concentrated bitterness. His eyes closed, and for some minutes the dying

man lay motionless.

Laurence could not bring himself to speak. The words to which he had

just listened so nearly reproduced and rendered articulate those

sensations he had himself so lately endured. The vision of all-absorbing

Nothingness again arose before him, as background to those opulent

forms, classic and pagan, upon which his eyes immediately rested. An

unholy and voluptuous life seemed to move in those forms still. A smile

curved the heavy lips of the sphinxes. The rounded, glistening arms of

the caryatides appeared outstretched less in support than in

solicitation; while the snake-locks of Medusa writhed, pushing upon each

other amorously. The flesh, triumphant in vigour and in carnal

invitation, seemed, indeed, to flout the intellect; as though the animal

functions of mankind and the symbols of these alone had power to survive

from age to age, were alone arbiters and architects of human fate. And

yet, yet, somewhere--could he but have reached it--Laurence knew there

was a way of escape. That he had come very near reaching it in the final

moments of that silent struggle downstairs, when the sweet figure of his

dear fairy-lady grew increasingly clear to his sight, he could not

doubt. And once again, with a great desiring, he desired her; for his

faith was strong that of all these things she somehow--how he could not

say as yet--held the key.

Just then Mr. Rivers raised his eyelids slightly and turned his head

upon the pillow.

"It is very horrible," he said slowly, speaking to himself rather than

to his companion. "The quantity of matter is stable. It for ever seeks

its own, and finding it re-unites. The destruction of one form is but

the necessary prelude to the development of others, and in this process

of perpetual redistribution not a fraction of the sum total is lost.

There is no waste save in the higher aspects of man's constitution--"

But here Laurence roused himself to protest.

"Matter returns to matter, sir, granted," he said. "Then why not spirit

to spirit? Are you not assuming a waste which you cannot prove? And if

spirit does return to spirit, what better than that, after all, can we

ask?"

"Spirit?" Mr. Rivers retorted, with a fine inflection of irony, and

momentary brightening of those half-closed eyes. "You, my dear Laurence,

employ words glibly enough which I hesitate to pronounce! Matter I know.

It is evident to the senses. Its actual existence--Berkeley, certain

Oriental and other philosophers notwithstanding--is, within certain

limits, susceptible of proof. And intellect I know. Its existence,

though on other lines, is equally susceptible of proof. Its action can

be registered and ratified. But spirit?--I will thank you to inform

me--what is spirit?"

The young man bowed himself together, resting his elbows on his knees.

He smiled with a half-humorous air of apology.

"That I cannot tell you, sir," he said. "I'm better at conviction than

at explanation, I'm afraid. I only know--not with my reason, but with my

heart--that spirit is, and has been, and must be everlastingly."

"And its mode of expression, its mode of self-revelation?" the other

inquired drily.

Laurence straightened himself up, laughing a little.

"One way, the old why--childish, perhaps, yet really rather charming. In

and by love, sir--only so, by love."

Tremulously Mr. Rivers drew the rich, sable cape closer about him,

though the heat of the room was intense.

"I become very abject," he said at last. "I procrastinate and risk

letting slip the opportunity still permitted me. For in my abjection, I

own I clutch at straws, miserably anxious for support. I am ashamed that

any other human being should witness the mental prostration to which

physical illness has reduced me. But time presses, and compels me to

delay no longer in confessing my object in calling you to me to-night.

Tell me, Laurence, have you investigated those abnormal phenomena of

which we spoke, and have your investigations yielded any result?"

The question took the listener somewhat by surprise, and he hesitated

before replying. The whole matter had become of such vital importance to

him, personal, intimate, among the dearest and most reverently-held

secrets of his heart. So he shrank, as before an act of profanation,

from submitting the history of his fairy-lady and of his strange

relation to her to the criticism of this cold-blooded, sceptical

intelligence. Yet he was bound by his promise to report, if called on to

do so--bound, too, in mere humanity towards one lying at the point of

death, and to whom that history might, conceivably, bring solace and

enlightenment.

"Yes, I have investigated the phenomena in part," he answered.

"And the result?"

"Briefly, I think, that which I ventured to state to you just now--that

love is the language of the spirit, the only medium through which spirit

can declare itself and be apprehended, the one element of our poor human

constitution which promises to continue and to preserve to us a measure

of coherence and individuality even after death."

The young man leaned forward again, and laid his hand on the warm

haunches of the ebony sphinx with a movement of slight defiance.

"Listen," he said, "please, sir, and I'll do my best to tell you exactly

what has happened since we spoke of this subject last."

He steadied himself to his task, trying to keep his narrative

circumstantial and restrained, to offer nothing more than a bald

statement of fact. But the charm of it, once he had started, was a

little too much for him. His speech grew lyrical against his will. And

Mr. Rivers listened, his eyes closed, his brow drawn into hard lines by

the effort of attention. Once he held up his hand.

"Did you question this appearance?" he asked.

"It was useless," Laurence answered, with a queer break in his voice.

"She never spoke--that is in words. She was dumb."

"That is unfortunate," Mr. Rivers said coldly. "Well, pray, go on."

And Laurence obeyed; recounting, with but slight reservation, all, even

to the events of the last few hours, when he and his sweet companion had

vainly sought to reach each other in defiance of some mighty, opposing

force, and how, at the crucial moment of the struggle, Mr. Rivers's

summons had come.

"There, sir," said he finally--"now you have it all as far as I can give

it you. I don't attempt to explain, though I may have my own ideas on

the subject. I've tried to put it quite honestly before you, and must

leave you to thrash the meaning out of it for yourself."

For some little space the sick man remained silent; then he raised both

hands and let them sink back upon the coverlet with the gesture of one

who bids farewell to hope.

"Fables!" he said bitterly; "fables! I ask bread of you and you give me

a stone. I offer you an unprecedented opportunity of psychological

study, and you approach it in the spirit of a ballad-monger or a

mountebank! I require from you close observation, scientific acumen, an

unrelenting pursuit of truth; and you put me off with some old wives'

tale of lost letters, the ravings of an hysterical girl, of

re-incarnation, multiple identity, and I know not what farrago of sickly

sentiment and outworn superstition! You trouble me with rubbish, which

it would be an impertinence to offer as material for serious

consideration to a peasant's child, of ordinary mental capacity, in a

modern board-school. Nor can I, my dear Laurence, acquit you of

insincerity, since you trick out this unworthy stuff in the extravagant

language of an erotic poem, while claiming for yourself an attitude

wholly platonic and superior to animal passion."

"You are harsh, sir," Laurence was permitted to remark.

Mr. Rivers turned his head on the pillow. His expression was distinctly

malevolent.

"I begin to gauge the average man," he replied calmly. "I begin to

recognise that he is a willing, probably wilful, self-deceiver--that he

is incapable of mental advance, that he will never expunge the

mythological element from his religious outlook, or learn to

discriminate between emotion, the product of the senses, and accurate

knowledge, the product of laborious enquiry and elevated thought."

"Perhaps he is wiser so," Laurence said. "Perhaps--I speak subject to

correction, sir--but perhaps he gets into touch, that way, with things

not altogether unimportant in the long history of the human race."

"Here, within measurable distance of dissolution, I grow somewhat weary

of _perhaps_. Yet I deserve that you should answer me this, since I have

shown myself very weak. I had not courage to embrace the remarkable

opportunity of investigating the phenomena of which we have spoken when

it was offered me in my prime. Now, in my decadence, surreptitiously and

at second hand, I try to acquire the knowledge I then repudiated. I

clutch at straws, and the straws sink with me. It is just. For the

second time I am untrue to my principles. I accept the rebuke."

During the last half hour there had been a lull in the storm; but now

the wind, shifting to a point north of west, hurled itself against the

house-front with renewed fury, and screamed against the shuddering

casements as though determined to gain entrance. The effect was that of

personal violence intended, and, with difficulty, repulsed. To Laurence

an inrush of the tempest would have been hardly unwelcome, for the heat

of the atmosphere oppressed him to the point of distress. Nor was this

all. Once more he became aware, so it seemed to him, of the tremendous,

unseen presence with which he had struggled earlier this same evening in

the yellow drawing-room below. He was aware that it stood on the far

side of the great, ebony bed, waiting, and the young man's heart stood

still. He saw Mr. Rivers gather the sable cape more closely about him,

as he lay staring out into the austere yet luxurious room; and he

recognised that for all his mortal weakness there was a certain

magnificence in the dying man's aspect.

"And beyond the superb, and always unredeemed, promise of human life, a

blank," Mr. Rivers said at last, his voice hollow, and, though so

small, asserting itself strangely against the tumult of the storm.

"Reason, learning, the senses, carry us thus far, only to project us

against a gateless barrier at the last!"

But Laurence's whole nature arose in fierce revolt. Again he renewed

that awful struggle, but this time in articulate speech.

"No, no, sir," he cried sharply, authoritatively, "the barrier is not

gateless--that is, to any one of us who has ever, even dimly and

passingly, known true-love, and that of which true-love is the

everlasting exponent and blessed symbol, namely, Almighty God."

"And I have known neither," Mr. Rivers answered. "Love I have never

felt. God I have never needed, either as an object of worship, or as

incentive to prayer. Therefore, for me, on your own showing, the barrier

needs must remain gateless."

He bowed his head slightly, smiling upon the young man with a fine,

ironical courtesy.

"I will ask your pardon for any weariness I may have caused you,

Laurence," he added. "And now I think we have nothing further to say to

one another. I have no quarrel with your fulfilment of your part of the

contract. It has been only--possibly--too complete. So I will detain you

no longer. You can leave me. I bid you good-night."

The young man would have answered with some kindly words of farewell;

but as the other ceased speaking, he became aware that, under the

glistening, outstretched arms of the caryatides, that tremendous unseen

presence bent downwards, extending itself sensibly over the bed.

Suddenly, and with a surprising effect of strength, Mr. Rivers started

into a sitting position.

"Lowndes," he called imperatively, and reached out for the handle of the

silver bell.

But before Laurence could render him any help he sunk down sideways--as

though under the weight of a heavy blow--the upper part of his body

hanging over the edge of the bed, and his thin, reed-like hands, with

their ancient and mysterious rings, dragging upon the carpet--dead.

The Gateless Barrier · 第 18 / 31 题