“No, sir. It is nearly dinner-time.”
The mists cleared away.
“I must have been asleep.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Nature taking its toll of the exhausted frame.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And enough to make it.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And now it’s nearly dinner-time, you say? All right. I am in no mood
for dinner, but I suppose you had better lay out the clothes.”
“It will not be necessary, sir. The company will not be dressing
tonight. A cold collation has been set out in the dining-room.”
“Why’s that?”
“It was Mrs. Travers’s wish that this should be done in order to
minimize the work for the staff, who are attending a dance at Sir
Percival Stretchley-Budd’s residence tonight.”
“Of course, yes. I remember. My Cousin Angela told me. Tonight’s the
night, what? You going, Jeeves?”
“No, sir. I am not very fond of this form of entertainment in the rural
districts, sir.”
“I know what you mean. These country binges are all the same. A piano,
one fiddle, and a floor like sandpaper. Is Anatole going? Angela hinted
not.”
“Miss Angela was correct, sir. Monsieur Anatole is in bed.”
“Temperamental blighters, these Frenchmen.”
“Yes, sir.”
There was a pause.
“Well, Jeeves,” I said, “it was certainly one of those afternoons,
what?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I cannot recall one more packed with incident. And I left before the
finish.”
“Yes, sir. I observed your departure.”
“You couldn’t blame me for withdrawing.”
“No, sir. Mr. Fink-Nottle had undoubtedly become embarrassingly
personal.”
“Was there much more of it after I went?”
“No, sir. The proceedings terminated very shortly. Mr. Fink-Nottle’s
remarks with reference to Master G.G. Simmons brought about an early
closure.”
“But he had finished his remarks about G.G. Simmons.”
“Only temporarily, sir. He resumed them immediately after your
departure. If you recollect, sir, he had already proclaimed himself
suspicious of Master Simmons’s bona fides, and he now proceeded to
deliver a violent verbal attack upon the young gentleman, asserting
that it was impossible for him to have won the Scripture-knowledge
prize without systematic cheating on an impressive scale. He went so
far as to suggest that Master Simmons was well known to the police.”
“Golly, Jeeves!”
“Yes, sir. The words did create a considerable sensation. The reaction
of those present to this accusation I should describe as mixed. The
young students appeared pleased and applauded vigorously, but Master
Simmons’s mother rose from her seat and addressed Mr. Fink-Nottle in
terms of strong protest.”
“Did Gussie seem taken aback? Did he recede from his position?”
“No, sir. He said that he could see it all now, and hinted at a guilty
liaison between Master Simmons’s mother and the head master, accusing
the latter of having cooked the marks, as his expression was, in order
to gain favour with the former.”
“You don’t mean that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Egad, Jeeves! And then----”
“They sang the national anthem, sir.”
“Surely not?”
“Yes, sir.”
“At a moment like that?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well, you were there and you know, of course, but I should have
thought the last thing Gussie and this woman would have done in the
circs. would have been to start singing duets.”
“You misunderstand me, sir. It was the entire company who sang. The
head master turned to the organist and said something to him in a low
tone. Upon which the latter began to play the national anthem, and the
proceedings terminated.”
“I see. About time, too.”
“Yes, sir. Mrs. Simmons’s attitude had become unquestionably menacing.”
I pondered. What I had heard was, of course, of a nature to excite
pity and terror, not to mention alarm and despondency, and it would
be paltering with the truth to say that I was pleased about it. On
the other hand, it was all over now, and it seemed to me that the
thing to do was not to mourn over the past but to fix the mind on the
bright future. I mean to say, Gussie might have lowered the existing
Worcestershire record for goofiness and definitely forfeited all chance
of becoming Market Snodsbury’s favourite son, but you couldn’t get away
from the fact that he had proposed to Madeline Bassett, and you had to
admit that she had accepted him.