I will not breakfast in my bed
With downy cushions at my head;
That would be very wrong--and so
Away the eggs and bacon go!
I will not read in bed at night
And burn the dear electric light;
Nor buy another costly hat;
Oh no! I'm much too good for that.
But I will rise before the dawn
And weed and cut and roll the lawn;
My border I will plant with veg,
Abundantly from hedge to hedge.
And all the day I'll practise thrift
And no more happily will drift
In deeper debt, as once, alas!
--But what an awful year I'll pass.
* * * * *
The Art of Sinking.
"Altogether we sank one gunboat, five steamers (one of 3,000
tons), and 17 large sailing ships, three trains, and one railway
embankment."--_Manchester Guardian._
* * * * *
Very Light Marching Order.
From a notice issued to recruits for the New Zealand Expeditionary
Force:--
"You should report wearing a pair of serviceable boots, and
bring with you your toilet outfit--no additional clothing is
required."
* * * * *
"In a conversation with members of the Press Mr. Ford said now
was the time for peace on the basis of the _status quo anti
bellum_."
_Scotch Paper._
He always spells it that way.
* * * * *