REALITY MINUS HIPPO
THANKSGIVING over, Snorky confidently waited the explosion.
"Skippy's going to the bad," he said to Dennis de Brian de Boru
Finnegan. "He's nervous, he's fidgety, he talks in his sleep. There's no
living with him."
"Some day it'll come," said Dennis cheerfully. "Some day there'll be a
bang-up, two by two procession, slow music, flowers omitted; and right
on a nice green shutter will be stretched our Sister's darling boy."
"Well, I'm getting tired of waiting."
"Keep hoping," said Dennis wisely. "Human nature is human nature. Say,
look at that!"
Across the campus came Skippy, fists sunk in his pockets, hat-brim down,
stalking rapidly, and at his heels the irrepressible Nuisance.
"It's shocking," said Snorky, "poor old Skippy!"
"That's what love means," said Finnegan contemptuously. "Do you know
what he reminds me of? A poor lonely cur going down the road with a tin
can tied to his tail."
"Hello, Skippy," said Snorky sadly.
Skippy looked at them and grunted.
At this moment Nuisance caught him by the arm.
"Say, old chap, what are you going to do now?"
"Going to bed, damn it!" said Skippy and bolted within.
* * * * *
How could Snorky and Dennis that unworldly fledgling know what Skippy
suffered? The forty-eight hours of the Thanksgiving vacation had been
like a narcotic dream. He had been under the same roof with her, sat by
her side in the darkened theatre and thrilled at the low sobby music
that sent his imagination helter-skelter into dangerous pastures;
received her confidences, gravely discussed with her the character and
eligibility of older men, confided in turn his life's project to launch
mosquito-proof socks on a world scale; received the full force of her
lovely radiant gentlest of smiles; danced with her alone a whole hour in
the Potterman ballroom, suffocated with happiness; and for all of which
had promised what? To wear Nuisance about his neck like a millstone, to
protect, cherish and guide him through the perils and temptations of
boarding-school as though--as though he were his own brother. And
Nuisance knew! That was the worst of it,--Nuisance knew the thin tyrant
skein by which he held him irrevocably linked! Christmas was yet to come
and for what Christmas might hold Skippy possessed his soul in
patience.
Then the blow fell. A week later as Snorky Green was returning from the
village he perceived Dennis de Brian de Boru in a state of excitement
waving a newspaper at him from the porch.
"There must be another birth in the faculty," thought Snorky, puzzled to
ascribe an adequate reason. Such events, be it mentioned, were usually
attended by cuts and in the higher spheres with even a half holiday.
Finnegan rushed forward, dove at his knees and spilled him on the ground
joyously.
"Damn you, you mad Irishman," said Snorky picking himself up and
disentangling himself from the newspaper. "What's hit you anyway?"
"It's come, hooray!"
"What's come?"
"Skippy's free!"
Snorky, further mystified, seized Finnegan and having sufficiently
shaken him demanded an explanation.
"Eighth page, first column, ouch!" said Finnegan.
Snorky opened it and read:
MISS POTTERMAN TO MARRY
HAROLD B. DRINKWATER
At this moment the door opened and Skippy came heavily out.
"Have you seen it?" said Dennis breathlessly.
"Seen what?"
"The paper!"
"What's in the paper?"
Dennis glanced at Snorky and solemnly handed over the fatal
announcement. All levity had disappeared. A man's sorrow after all must
be sacred.
Skippy read and suddenly put down the paper. Only two things came to his
mind--wedding immediate and she had not even written him.
At this most auspicious moment, Nuisance came gamboling around the
house.
"Hi, Skippy, old sport, what ye doin'?"
Dennis de Brian de Boru looked at Snorky and then simultaneously each
sat down and retired into an expectant audience.
Nuisance frolicked enthusiastically up for his victim and then stopped.
He had just caught Skippy's expression. He stopped and suddenly looked
at the ground. He _knew_!
Slowly, carefully, warily with his eyes on Skippy he began a strategic
withdrawal. Skippy moved stealthily forward, picking up his steps as a
rat terrier does. Nuisance slunk away, calculating the distance to the
corner of the house. Skippy increased the pace, drawing ominously
nearer.
Then Finnegan's shrill voice cried:
"Sic him, Skippy!"
The next moment, Nuisance, panic-stricken, was scuttling for his life,
with Skippy roaring at his heels.
And just back of the lonely stretches of the Dickinson, Skippy fell upon
him.
* * * * *
That night Skippy, wise by disillusionment, confided his sorrows to a
diary which began as follows:
"What I don't know about women, ain't worth knowing. Resolved; if any
loving is going to be done, they can do the loving."
But that of course is still another story. . . .
THE END
* * * * *
Transcriber's Notes:
Obvious punctuation errors repaired.
Page 63, "bandanna" changed to "bandana" to match remainder of text
(green bandana handkerchief)
Page 89, "thoughfully" changed to "thoughtfully" (said Snorky
thoughtfully)
Page 110, "revery" changed to "reverie" (in a dark reverie)
Page 123, "vis-a-vis" changed to "vis-a-vis" (vis-a-vis with a
youngster)
Page 124, "subleties" changed to "subtleties" (These subtleties
naturally)
Page 162, "longue" changed to "lounge" (chaise-lounge of her)
Page 214, "customs" changed to "custom" (custom-made dress suit)
Page 245, "are't" changed to "aren't" (commandments, aren't they)
Page 251, "celler" changed to "cellar" (the salt cellar)
Page 293, "paticularly" changed to "particularly" (_particularly_ to be
_very_)
Page 297"subleties" changed to "subtleties" (mind scorned subtleties)