A learner at golf was surrounded by a large and interested circle of
friends.
After missing the ball several times, amid the laughter of his pals, he
turned and said: “I must apologize for this rotten performance, but I can
assure you that no one feels his misses more than I do.” And still they
laughed.
* * * * *
“A worm may eat of a king, a man may eat of a fish that has fed
on the worm. Thus a king may run a course through the guts of a
beggar.”—Shakespeare.
_Questions and Answers_
=Dear Whiz Bang Bill=—I have been going with a red-headed girl, but as I
am leaving school I want to get rid of her. I think, too, that she uses
henna. I’m enclosing a further description. What would you advise me to
do?—=Iowa Rah-Rah.=
I’d suggest that you publish a want ad in the Whiz Bang as follows:
To Whom It May Concern: I cheerfully recommend my old girl to
any young man wanting a suitable dating companion for next year:
She is a good dancer physically and morally.
She is a good looker.
She is a good listener.
She isn’t too good.
She is an excellent pedestrian, in fact, she will always say
she likes to walk, although she is not prejudiced against a car.
She is a woman of deep emotions whom only you will be able to
thrill.
She has, to the best of my knowledge, absolutely no ideas of
her own on any subject, except you.
My sole and simple reason for quitting her is that I am leaving
school. Treat her right. She likes to be treated.
* * * * *
=Dear Captain=—Why is Mary Pickford like castor oil?—=Hollywood Holly.=