"This procedure is acceptable in terms of your culture?"
"Well," Mattern said, "for women like Lyddy, sure. I mean--oh,
hell--it's hard to explain."
"But it doesn't disturb you?"
"All right," Mattern said sullenly, "so it disturbs me. So what can I
do about it?"
"Would it not be wiser," the kqyres suggested, "for you to wait until
you can get enough money so you can have her for yourself alone? After
all, how long would it take for you to get together a sufficient sum at
that rate?" And the kqyres indicated the gold.
"You got a point there." Mattern could see that the xhind was right. It
would be a lot more sensible to make a few more trips and get himself
a sizable bankroll before going after Lyddy, so he'd never have to
share her again. Otherwise it would be back and forth, back and forth,
until it sent him off his mental course.
* * * * *
So, as soon as he disposed of the gold, he went back with another
cargo, and then another. Waiting for Lyddy wasn't as bad as he thought
it would be, because he could talk to the kqyres about her. He'd
never had somebody he could really talk to; even Captain Schiemann
hadn't really been a companion. The kqyres always seemed interested in
what Mattern had to say. He never talked much about himself, but he
listened patiently to Mattern's description of Lyddy's talents, and
charms, including some which, as a non-human, he could understand only
intellectually, if at all.
And he didn't only listen, with it going in one ear and out the
other--or whatever the xhindi had instead of ears. He made helpful
suggestions, such as maybe Mattern ought to fix himself up a little
before going back for Lyddy.
"I know she is to be--bought," he said, as if he still didn't quite
understand what that meant, "but would you not derive greater pleasure
from your purchase if you knew you were a man whom a woman could like
for his own self?"
Len was silent. He knew the kqyres couldn't understand human concepts
of beauty; he had taken Len's own word that the young man wasn't much
of a specimen, that his body and his teeth were crooked and his skin
bad, his vision defective and his hair drab. Lyddy deserved something
better than that; Len knew it himself. Even if she would go with him
for the sake of the money, it wasn't the same thing.
"I could get my teeth fixed up in this sector," he said at last, "but
I'd need to go to the Near Planets, maybe even Earth, to have my leg
fixed. It'd take a long time and passage costs a hell of a lot. People
don't go that far just for a junket, you know. For most of 'em, it's a
once-in-a-lifetime deal."
"Of course," Njeri said. "Your wealth is dearly won; you wouldn't want
to squander it. However, wouldn't a considerable economy be effected if
you went in your own ship?"
"The _Valkyrie_!" Len was shocked into laughter. "She'd never make it
to Earth! She'd crumple up like an old paper bag!"
"She will not last much longer, in any case," said Njeri.
Len had been thinking that himself for some time--wondering how soon he
would have no ship left at all, and what he would do then.
"It would be wise," the kqyres suggested, "for you first to get enough
money to pay for a new ship. Only a few more trips should be necessary.
Then go to whatever planet you deem most suitable for the necessary
improvements, and finally return to Lyddy--a man worthy not only of her
but of any woman."
"It'll take so long," Mattern said, tempted, and yet driven wild by the
idea of Lyddy, so close to attainment.
"At your age, what are a few more trips?"
Len gave in.
* * * * *
Actually, it took five trips into hyperspace merely to pay for the new
vessel, a much larger and more elaborate model than Len had planned
on buying. "In the long run," his partner told him, "the best is most
economical. A sound, spaceworthy vessel such as this one will last out
your lifetime. And you can call her the _Hesperian Queen_, after Lyddy."
"Why?" Len asked. "Is that what Lyddy is short for?"
"It is the same as naming it after her," the kqyres said shortly. "Only
it's a little more subtle."
"Oh." Somehow the kqyres made Len feel stupid, _uncouth_ almost,
even though he was the human being and the other nothing but
hyperextraterrestrial.
The treatments were even costlier than anticipated, and it took many
more trips to pay for them. Expenses were increased by the fact that he
had to commute back and forth from his sector of space to the planet
where he was being treated, since he couldn't afford to neglect his
business now that his costs were mounting.
He had his leg straightened on Earth. That world was as colorful,
as complex, as intoxicating as it was claimed to be. One series of
marvels after another presented themselves before his inexperienced
eyes like scenes in a vision show--except that he was actually there,
breathing, tasting, feeling a part of this vast sophistication. Earth
had many beautiful women, and he enjoyed the favors of those in Lyddy's
profession, but only to prove to himself that she was much more
wonderful.
He decided there was no point bothering with the other planets; he
might as well have his teeth and everything else taken care of on
Earth, too. "Very wise of you," the kqyres approved. "The best is
always the soundest, and, hence, most worth waiting for. Like Lyddy."
"Yes," Mattern agreed, "she is the best. And the most beautiful."
"Of course," the kqyres said. "Tell me more about her."
And Mattern talked, far into the night. What he couldn't remember of
her by now, he imagined, so that the picture should be complete, not
only for the xhind but for himself.
When his leg and his teeth had been fixed, "Why stop at that?" the
kqyres asked. "If it had not been for the way that stepfather of
yours treated you as a child--" for Len had found himself telling his
companion not only about Lyddy but about everything--"you would be
a fine-looking man today. It would be no difficult task to have you
restored to what you should rightfully be."
* * * * *
Mattern would not, of course, do such a thing out of vanity. But the
more presentable he made himself, the more he would be offering Lyddy.
So it would be worth the extra time, especially since he could spend
so much of it on Earth. Lyddy had come from Earth; it would be a bond
between them later.
Doctors and cosmetologists got to work on him. Each treatment seemed
to be lengthier than the preceding one, and more expensive. He could,
however, easily afford it--all he had to do was make more trips. The
kqyres not only told him what cargoes to take but advised him on the
investments to make with his profits.
They did very well together. As far as Mattern was concerned, they
did fabulously well, because he had to make enough on his side to
counterbalance the entire expenses of a planet on the other. The
thought impressed him. _I am, in a sense, equal to the mbretersha_, he
thought, _and she is a monarch._ As a result, he walked a little more
erect than even the operations had rendered him.
The dangers of his trade grew less and less frightening as he came to
know his way between the universes, even though, at the same time, he
began to realize how great those dangers were. He had not conceived
of their immensity before. The reason there were asteroid belts in so
many of the solar systems, he learned now, was that the xhindi had
traded with other intelligent races in earlier eras, and there had been
accidents. Those races were now extinct.
The xhindi themselves ceased to be monstrous in his eyes. He grew to
accept their appearance as perfectly natural in their universe. Toward
the kqyres, he came to feel something of what he had felt toward
Schiemann, except that where Schiemann had looked up to him and relied
on him, he found himself increasingly dependent on Njeri. He told him
all his hopes and ambitions, and the kqyres listened attentively.
Mattern tried to explain to him how he himself felt about Lyddy, and
the kqyres tried to understand.
The kqyres taught Mattern how to play chess. "But that's our game!"
Mattern said. "I mean we play it in our universe!"
"In ours also," the xhind smiled. "Who knows whether it came from our
universe to yours, or yours to ours? Nor does it matter. It is an old
game and a good one."
Mattern became increasingly skillful at it. He was pleased that there
was an intellectual activity in which he could engage as an equal with
the kqyres, and the kqyres seemed pleased, too.
* * * * *
When the treatments were over, Mattern looked in a mirror. He was
straight; he was handsome. His skin was clear, his eyes bright. He
looked less than his age. Now he could go back to Lyddy, assured that
most women would find his physical appearance more than acceptable.
But he found himself hesitating. Only his physical appearance would be
truly acceptable. There was something still lacking in him. His body
was right, but the way he stood, the way he moved, the way he spoke,
all these were wrong.
"I'm not finished yet," he said stumblingly to the kqyres, "not quite
straightened out. I ought to be more--well, more smooth."
"You do lack polish," the kqyres admitted, "although you are far less
awkward, shall we say, than when we first met."
"That's because of you, Njeri!" Mattern declared, with genuine
gratitude. "You've taught me a lot!" And he looked at his outlandish
friend with a great affection.
The kqyres seemed quite moved; he flickered like a pin-wheel. "You have
been an exceedingly apt pupil, Mattern. When first I saw you, I did not
think it possible that I should ever consider you a companion. However,
I have found myself taking an increasing pleasure in your company.
Sometimes I even forget you are a human."
Mattern could not speak; he was so overwhelmed by the tribute.
"The passage of time disclosed to me that there were sensitivities
and perceptions beneath that--forgive me, but we know how misleading
first impressions can be--boorish exterior. The very fact that you are
conscious of your own deficiencies _proves_ that you are more than the
mere clod you still, on occasion, seem to be--"
"Can't I improve myself that way, too?" Mattern asked plaintively.
"Can't I make myself worthy of Lyddy in every way?"
"Of course you can," the kqyres beamed. "Were you to apply yourself
specifically to the acquisition of culture, I am sure you could become
as polished as any human being can hope to be. But it will take time."
"Well," Mattern said, "Lyddy's waited so long, she can wait a little
longer. Things worth having are worth waiting for."
Under Njeri's tutelage, Mattern cultivated the arts and the amenities.
As he used his ship for a permanent residence, it was there that he
housed his growing collection of costly rare objects of art, and his
library, notable for its first editions--not only of tapes, but of
books. His uniforms were cut by the best terrestrial tailors and he
took kinescope courses in the liberal arts and social forms from the
outstanding universities of Earth. The provincial twang vanished from
his speech; he developed a taste for wine and conversation. Nobody,
seeing him, could ever have fancied him once a poor wizened space rat.
* * * * *
As the years went by, he grew to become as much of a ruler in his way
as the mbretersha in hers. She ruled one planet, he told himself, but
he had a business empire farflung over many planets--all of which, to
some extent, he did rule through his investments. He would have worlds
to lay at Lyddy's feet now, he thought complacently. No man could offer
any woman more.
The first _Hesperian Queen_ didn't have a chance to last out his
lifetime; he kept trading her in for another and yet another model, as
better, faster, more luxurious starships were developed. Finally, he
outbid the Federation Government itself for plans of the latest-model
spacecraft. When the government protested, he graciously gave them
copies free of all charge. "I merely wanted to be sure that I had the
best ship available," he explained. "I have no objection to your having
it also. But I knew that you could not afford to be as generous as I
can."
He never had more than one ship, because it was too dangerous to
run more than one cargo at a time. His crew was always as small in
number as possible. He would have preferred none at all; actually,
all spaceships could run themselves, for the controls were completely
automatic. But regulations said there had to be a crew, both for the
sake of "face"--many extraterrestrials couldn't seem to recognize
the authority of machines--and because a power failure was not
inconceivable.
So the _Hesperian Queen_ carried four men. And, whenever she made
the Jump through hyperspace, even the crew--though conditioned on
Earth--was drugged. Mattern carried on alone. And if, when the crewmen
awakened, they found that a day had passed when only an hour should
have gone by, they knew better than to ask questions.
So the years went by--busy, pleasant, profitable years. The image
of Lyddy was always before him, inspiring him to further efforts.
_Someday soon I will go back to her_, he would tell himself. On his
latest birthday, he looked in the mirror closely. At twenty-four, he
had appeared forty; at forty, he could have passed for thirty. Sixteen
years had gone by since that night with Lyddy. Now he was worthy of her
or anyone.
"I think it's time I went back for her," he told the kqyres.
"For whom?" the kqyres asked; then added hastily, "Oh, yes, of course,
Lyddy. We'll do that right after we come back from the Vega System.
There's a little Earth-type planet out there--"
"_Before_ we go to Vega," Mattern interrupted. "Now."
"But why the hurry? You've waited so long already--"
"I've waited too long. I'm not young any more."
"Neither is she," observed the kqyres. "Perhaps she is too old now,
Mattern."
"She can't be too old," Mattern said. The tridi in his locker was
Lyddy, and the picture was young; therefore, Lyddy must still be young.
"She may have married someone else. She may have numerous children
clustering about her knee."
"Then I will take her away from her husband and children," Mattern
declared. "Can you imagine that a little thing like that would stop
me?"
"She may have lost her beauty," the kqyres said. "She may have left
Hesperia. She may have suffered a disfiguring accident."
* * * * *
Mattern realized then that Njeri was deliberately trying to keep him
from going back to Lyddy. Either he felt that she would interfere with
the smooth operation of their business, or he was jealous of a third
intruding into their company.
"I have done everything I did for the sake of winning Lyddy," Mattern
said, biting off the words. "If all hope of her is gone, then my
whole reason for working with you is gone. I will never go back to
hyperspace."
"There are other women--"
"Not for me!"
"The business itself means nothing to you?" There was an aggrieved note
in the kqyres' voice.
"It's just a living," Mattern said, "just a way of getting Lyddy. You
know that was why I went into it. I thought you'd been listening to me
all these years."
"I thought perhaps with the deepening of your interests--"
"They have only made me love her the more profoundly."
The kqyres took the equivalent of a deep breath. "You do not have a
house or any regular place of residence. You cannot expect a lady to
live permanently on a spaceship."
"I will build her a house."
"Will it not show her how carefully you have prepared for her if,
first, you build her a palace worthy--"
"I have no time to build palaces."
"There is a tiny planet that circles the dim sun you call Van Maanen's
star," the alien persisted. "It is always twilight there. The beings
who live on that planet build crystal towers miles high and as fragile
as spun glass, in dusk colors the rainbow never dreamed of."
"If she wants a crystal tower, I will have one built for her. But first
I will ask her."
"Very well," the kqyres sighed, "since nothing else will satisfy you,
let us return and fetch her."
And when they got to Erytheia City, Lyddy was still there, not only
unmarried, but--in spite of all the years--unchanged.