"Cumly, _January 7, 19--_.
"Dear Captain Blair,
"This follows quickly to retract everything that I said last week! If I
had not already spent so much on cables, and if it were not so difficult
to explain, I should have sent a flying order to burn that effusion
unread! It makes me hot to think of the things I wrote. I am not
usually so heady and bold, but the excitement was too much for me, the
brilliant shifting of the scene, the finding myself of a sudden a
leading lady, instead of a forlorn super,--the new clothes!--
"Honestly, I believe the clothes had as much to do with it as anything
else! Do you remember a character in a book a year or two ago saying
that the consciousness of being perfectly dressed imparted a peace and
joy which religion can never bestow! I have quoted that saying to many
women in turns, and each and all on the spur of the moment exclaimed
`_How true_!' though the serious-minded ones tried to back out
afterwards. I have wondered sometimes if the difference in temperament
between the two sexes isn't after all mainly a matter of clothes. A man
goes to a decent tailor, puts on a well-cut tweed or dress suit,
arranges his tie with a certain amount of skill, and--kings can do no
more! Never in all his life does he experience the agonising sensation
of entering a room and realising at a glance that he is all wrong, while
the right thing is hanging idly at home in the wardrobe; never is his
heart torn by the consciousness of inferiority, or the necessity of
putting up with a second best, when the first is a dream of beauty and
becomingness. He knows none of these trials, but then, on the other
hand, he has none of the thrills! Who could be thrilled by an old black
coat, but when it is the exact shade of blue that matches your eyes,
when the lines of the skirt make you blush at your own grace, when the
trimmings are dreams, and the very linings a picture, then, oh, man! the
elation of it mounts to the feminine head like wine, and no mere male
can understand...
"I imagined until now that I was superior to such folly. I never cared
much about clothes, but then, as Grizel brutally explains, that was
because I never had none! Now I am as susceptible as the rest...
"All this chatter about clothes is simply to cover my embarrassment,
because I don't know what else to say!
"You must all have made very sure of me, to write to Captain Bedford as
you did! ... I had the kindest letter from him yesterday, promising
every help _en voyage_. I am to tip the steward to arrange that he has
a seat next to me at table from Aden onward. I shall have found my sea
legs by then, I suppose, and be able to turn up for meals. He--Captain
Bedford--isn't too well, I'm afraid, for he talks of feverish turns
which can't be good in his condition, but there seems no doubt of his
return. I shall cross-question him (artfully!) about you, and expect to
pick up some useful information. Don't expect me to write again before
sailing. I am too busy and--_shy_! and when I _do_ arrive, please
arrange to meet me first among a crowd of people, and look the other way
hard whenever I'm looking. I'm capable of coming home by the first boat
if I'm druv!
"Katrine."
"P.S.--I have no money; not a cent. `My face is my fortune,' plus a
pearl necklet, and a loving heart! The situation is so unusual that I
think I am justified in being personal and inquisitive. Here's an
examination paper for you on certain burning points. You will have time
to post answers to Port Said, and if unsatisfactory I can always drown
myself, or--turn back!
"Question I.
"Do your ears stick out?"
"_NB_.--This is important. Prevarication forbidden.
"Question II.
"When annoyed do you rage or sulk?
"Question III.
"Have you tiresome little ways? If so, how many? Clearly define their
nature, and specify in particular whether you fidget, scatter tobacco,
sneeze loudly, scrape your plate, argue, frown over bills, repeat
yourself in conversation...
"Question IV.
"What sort of tobacco do you smoke, and how much? I don't smoke at all.
Too Cranford! Are you pleased or sorry?
"Question V.
"What would be your manner of proceeding under the following
circumstances:--
"Wife irritable. Wife hysteric. Wife homesick. Wife unreasonable and
provoking? Wife all at once."
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"My Dearest Katrine,
"If I write at once I shall just catch you before you sail. When you
are here, when I see you face to face, and after the period of truce is
over, I shall tell you how I felt when that cable arrived yesterday, and
I realised that in less than three months we should meet in the flesh.
I have felt a new man since that hour, and Dorothea says I look it. She
had already written to Bedford (at my instigation) saying that you would
probably be coming by the _Bremen_, and giving him elaborate
instructions on your behalf. No fear that he won't carry them out!
Heavens! the luck some fellows have. What would I give for the
opportunity of `looking after you' through those long, lazy days, but
I'm not jealous, Katrine--don't imagine that! Whatever you may decide
in the future, you'll play fair to me in the present. I asked for my
chance, and you've given it by agreeing to come out, so for the time
being I hold the field. I trust you utterly, with a glad heart.
"This will be the last letter you get from me, unless perhaps a line at
Aden, and I can write no more to-day, dear. My heart is too full...