_SPORTING NOTES FROM OUR SPECIAL REPRESENTATIVE_.
I had an invite from JEPSON, a Stock Exchange acquaintance, who has
rented a Moor for the winter months, and who, happening to hear that
I and my two foreign friends were in the neighbourhood, most kindly
asked me to come and have a look at his box, and bring them with me.
"I hear," he writes, "that the deer are very lively, and if you want
to show your foreign friends some first-rate British Sport, you can't
do better than bring them."
Need I say that I jumped at this. Coming along on the top of the
coach, that takes us to Spital-hoo, the place my friend has rented, I
have been endeavouring to describe what I _imagine_ to be the nature
of the sport of Deer-stalking to the Chief and the Bulgarian Count.
The former, who has been listening attentively, says that, from my
description, stalking a stag must be very much the same as hunting
the double-humped bison in Mwangumbloola, and that the only weapon he
shall take with him will be a pickaxe. I have pointed out to him that
I don't think this will be any use, as in deer-stalking I fancy you
follow the stag _at some distance_, but he seems resolute about the
pickaxe, and so, I suppose, I must let him have his way. The Bulgarian
Count was deeply interested in the matter, and says that evidently
the proper weapon to use is a species of quick-firing, repeating
Hotchkiss, and that he has one now on its way through Edinburgh, the
invention of a compatriot, that will fire 2700 two-ounce bullets in
a minute and a-half. I fancy, if he uses this, he will surprise the
neighbourhood; but, of course, I have not said anything to interfere
with his project.
[Illustration]
We have arrived at Spital-hoo all safe and sound, and JEPSON has given
us a most cordial welcome. But I must now have once more recourse to
my current notes.
I have now been something like five hours on the tramp, plodding my
way through a deep glen in a pine forest, but have not yet come across
any sign of a stag, I started with the Chief and the Count, but the
former soon went off at a tangent somewhere on his own hook, and the
latter, who had got his Hotchkiss with him and found it heavy work to
drag it up and down the mountain paths, I have left behind to take a
rest and recuperate himself. I pause in my walk and listen. The forest
is intensely still. Not a sign of a stag anywhere.
JEPSON is left at home, as he is expecting a couple of local Ministers
to tea, but he has told me I'm "bound to come across whole herds of
them," if I only tramp long enough. Well, I've been at it five hours,
and I certainly ought to have spotted something by this time. By Jove,
though, what's that moving in the path ahead of me? It is! _It is a
stag!_ A magnificent fellow--though he appears to have only one horn.
But, how odd! I believe he has seen me, and yet doesn't seem scared!
Yes, he is actually approaching in the most leisurely fashion in the
world. But that isn't the correct thing. In deer-stalking, I'm sure
you ought to stalk the deer, not the deer stalk you. And this creature
is absolutely coming down on me. Oh! I can't stand this. I shall have
a shot at him. Bang! Have fired--and _missed_! And, by Jove, the stag
doesn't seem to mind! He is coming nearer and nearer. He actually
comes close to where I am kneeling, and with facetious friendliness
removes my Tam o'Shanter! But, hulloah! who is this speaking? "Ha, and
would ye blaze awa wi' your weepons upon poor old Epaminondas, mon!"
It is an aged Highlander who is addressing me, and he has just turned
out of a bye-path. He is fondling the creature's nose affectionately,
and the stag seems to know him. I remark as much.
"Ha! sure he does," he replies, "Why there's nae a body doon the glen
but has got a friendly word for puir Old Epaminondas. You see he's
blind o' one 'ee, and he's lost one o' his antlers, and he's a wee bit
lame, and all the folk here about treat him kindly, when ye thought to
put that bit o' lead into him just noo, sure he was just oomin' to ye
for a bit o' oatmeal cake."
I express my regret for having so nearly shot the "Favourite of the
Glen" through inadvertence! I explain that I came out deerstalking,
and did not expect, of course, to come across a perfectly tame and
domestic stag.
"A weel, there's nae mischief done," continues my interlocutor;
"but it's nae good a stalking Epaminondas, for he's just a sagacious
beastie altogether."
* * * * *
Here we are at the Lodge. But, hulloah! what's this uproar on the
lawn? A herd of deer dashing wildly over everything, flowerbeds
and all, and, yes, absolutely five of them bursting into the house,
through one of the drawing-room windows, while JEPSON and the two
kirk Ministers emerge hurriedly, terrified, from the other. Crash!
And what's _that_? Why, surely it _can't_ be--but yes, I believe it
is--yes, it _positively is_ the Chief's pickaxe that has flown through
the air, and just smashed through the upper panes, scattering the
glass in a thousand fragments in all directions!
And thus ends my Stalking for the Present, and (probably) the Future!
* * * * *
[Illustration: BLACK SYRENS.
_This is how the lovely and accomplished Miss B----ns (of ----,
Portland Place) managed to defray the expenses of their Sea-side Trip,
this Autumn, without anybody being any the wiser!_
"O-HI-O! O-HI-HO! THERE NEVER WAS A FINER GIRL THAN DINAH, DOWN BY THE
OHIO!"]
* * * * *