[Illustration]
[According to the _Standard_, by the new Meat Inspection Law,
just come into force in the United States, American cattle
and pigs for export to England, France, or Germany, are to be
inspected before leaving America, with a view to removing the
grounds of objection on the part of those Governments to the
unrestricted reception of these important American exports.
Should any foreign Government, fearful of pleuro-pneumonia
or trichinosis, refuse to trust to the infallibility of the
American inspectors, the President of the United States is
authorised to retaliate by directing that such products of
such foreign State as he may deem proper shall be excluded
from importation to the United States.]
O SENATOR EDMONDS, of verdant Vermont,
Of wisdom you may be a marvellous font;
But you'll hardly get JOHN,--'tis too much of a joke!--
To buy in your fashion a Pig in a Poke;
Which nobody can expect!
To slaughter your Cattle when reaching our shore,
You probably think is no end of a bore;
But even your valiant Vermonters to please,
We cannot afford to spread Cattle-disease,
Which nobody can desire.
A Yankee Inspector is all very fine,
But if pleuro-pneumonia crosses the line,
And with BULL'S bulls and heifers should play up the deuce,
A Yankee Inspector won't be of much use,
Which nobody can dispute.
A Yankee Inspector you seem to suppose is
A buckler and barrier against trichinosis;
Bat trichinae pass without passports. Bacilli
And microbes that Yankee _might_ miss willy-nilly,
Which nobody can deny.
Port-slaughter restrictions may limit your trade.
Well, your Tariffs Protective to help _us_ aren't made,
And we cannot run dangers to plump up your wealth,
Until you can show us a clean bill of health,
Which nobody can assert.
And as to that cudgel tucked under your arm,
You fancy, perhaps, it will act as a charm.
No, JONATHAN! JOHN to your argument's dull,
And you will not convince him by cracking his skull,
Which nobody can suppose.
The Gaul and the Teuton seem much of my mind,
And, despite your new Law, you will probably find
That Yankee Inspectors, plus menaces big,
Rehabilitate not the American Pig,
Which nobody can affirm.
No, JONATHAN, JOHNNY feels no animosity,
He'd like, with yourself, to have true Reciprocity;
But neither your Law, nor a smart cudgel-stroke,
Will make him--or them--buy your Pig in a Poke--
Which nobody can particularly
wonder at, after all; now can
they, JONATHAN?
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"NOMINE MUTATO."--For some weeks there was a considerable amount of
correspondence in the _Times_, anent "Ecclesiastical Titles," which
suddenly disappeared. Was the topic resumed one day last week under
the new heading, "_The Symbolical Representation of Ciphers_?"
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LATEST FROM THE LYCEUM.--With a view to supplying the entire world
with the current number, _Mr. Punch_ goes to press at a date too early
to permit of a criticism of _Ravenswood_. So he contents himself (for
the present) by merely recording that at the initial performance on
Saturday last all went as happily ("merrily," with so sombre a plot,
is _not_ the word) as a marriage-bell. There was a striking situation
towards the end of the drama which was both novel and interesting. Mr.
IRVING received and deserved a grand reception, and it was generally
admitted that amongst the many admirable impersonations for which MISS
ELLEN TERRY is celebrated, her _Bride of Lammermoor_ appropriately
"takes the cake!"
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