"Why," he answered, "you know Botley isn't very far from Southampton.
Once upon a time a party of young chaps belonging to Botley were
returning from a merry-making of some sort, and as it happened, all of
them but one were more than three sheets in the wind. For some reason
or other, nothing would make this one touch a drop of liquor. As they
were walking along they began to jeer him, and at last they declared
that he had been guilty of a capital offence, because he had let the
glass pass by, and they agreed that they would try him. Well, they came
to a place near a wood, where there were a number of trees cut down, and
there they all sat round, and the accused was placed in the middle. The
most drunk of the party was chosen as judge, and the others were the
counsel, some to accuse and the others to defend him.
"The poor fellow tried to get away, but his friends would not let him.
He, of course, had nothing to say for himself, except that he did not
choose to drink, and the upshot of his trial was that he was condemned
to be hung.
"Unfortunately one of them had a rope with him, and without more ado
they ran up the culprit to the nearest tree. To be sure, they did
intend to put the rope round his waist, but they were too drunk to know
exactly what they were about, and by mistake slipped it, Jack Ketch
fashion, round his neck. Having done this wise trick, they all ran
away, shrieking with laughter at the cleverness of their joke.
"They were very much surprised to find, the next morning, that the poor
fellow was missing. At last they went out to look for him, and found
him hanging where they had left him, but as dead as a church door.
"So, gentlemen, you see that the people in those parts are very clever
chaps, and if you take them at their own value, there are none to be
found like them in all the world. I have another story for you to prove
this.
"One day a poor Jew fell into the Itchen.
"`Oh, shave me! shave me! vil no one shave me?' he sang out; but of all
the people standing round there wasn't one who would touch him with his
fingers, because they looked on him as a dirty old Jew.
"At last they thought that though he was a Jew it was a shame to let him
drown, so half-a-dozen or more of them ran off to get a rake to haul him
out. One couldn't find a rake, and another couldn't find a rake; so,
long before they came back, the poor Jew was drowned. That is the
reason why we say, when a chap is a long time doing a thing that he
ought to have done in a hurry, `He's gone for a rake to haul out the
Jew.'"
"Ay, ay, Mr Bexley, but you know what the Poole man did when his pig
got his head through the bars of the gate?" exclaimed Jerry Vincent,
with a good-natured laugh. "Why, you see, mates, when he found that he
couldn't haul it out, to save trouble he cut off the beast's head. Some
people in our parts would have sawed through the bars, but we don't
pretend to be wise, you know.
"I don't mind telling a story against ourselves. Did any of you ever
hear why the Downton people are called `Moonrakers'? They themselves
don't mind hearing the story. Once upon a time, some Downton men had
sunk some tubs in a big pond, and they were hard at work all night
raking them up. While they were still engaged, who should come by but a
party of custom-house people.
"`What are you doing there, men?' they asked. `Some mischief, no
doubt.'
"`Oh, no! please, kind gentlemen, we are only trying to rake the moon
out of this pond,' answered the Downton men, quite in a simple voice.
You see that the moon was at the time shining brightly down into the
pond.
"`Oh! is that all?' said the custom-house people, thinking that they
were a few simpletons escaped out of a madhouse. On went the
custom-house people. After a little time they came back. The smugglers
had just got out their last tub. Some clouds meantime had come over the
moon. `Well, my men, have you got the moon at last?' said the
custom-house officer.
"`Oh, yes! there's little doubt about it, for it's no longer there. If
we haven't got it, perhaps you can tell us who has.'
"This made the custom-house people feel sure that they were right in
their conjectures; so on they went, little dreaming of the prize they
had lost."
We all laughed heartily at Jerry Vincent's and Mr Bexley's stories.
"I'll tell you a story, for the truth of which I can vouch," said Uncle
Kelson. "The circumstance only lately happened. So, strange as it may
seem, there is no doubt about it. You all have heard speak of Sir Harry
Burrard Neale, who commands just now the King's yacht, the _Royal
Charlotte_. The boatswain of her is a friend of mine, and last summer
he got me a cast down to Weymouth, where I wanted to go to see the widow
of an old shipmate I had promised to look after. We were just clear of
the Needles. There was a light breeze and a smooth sea, when we made
out a small boat standing towards us, seemingly as if she had come out
of Poole harbour or Swanage.
"`She seems to me to be a fishing-boat, and as if she wanted to speak
us, Sir Harry,' said the first lieutenant, who had been spying at her
through his glass.
"`So I see,' answered the captain. `There seem to be two people in her
making signals. It will not delay us much, so heave the ship to, and
let us learn what they want.'
"This was just like Sir Harry. Many a captain would have stood on and
taken no notice of a poor fisherman's boat, even had there been a dozen
people waving in her. In a little time the boat came alongside, with a
man and a woman in her, and they were certainly the rummest old couple
you ever saw in your life.
"A midshipman hailed them, and asked them what they wanted. As well as
we could make out, for they spoke very broad Scotch, they said that they
wanted their son.
"`Let them come aboard,' said Sir Harry kindly, `and we will hear what
they have to say.'
"With no little difficulty, after a good deal of pulling and hauling, we
got the old couple upon deck, and led them aft to Sir Harry.
"`For whom are you inquiring, my good people?' asked the captain.
"`Our bairn, sir--our ain bairn,' answered the old lady. `For many a
weary week have we been looking for him, and never have our eyes rested
on his bonnie face since the black day, near five long years ago, when
he was carried away from us. Ah! it was a sair day, sirs.'
"`What is your son's name, my good people?' asked Sir Harry.
"`David, sir--Davie Campbell. He was so called after his grandfather,
who died in '45, with mony other brave men,' answered the old dame.
"`We have a man of that name on board, sir,' remarked the first
lieutenant to the captain. `He is in the watch below. It will be
strange if he should prove to be the man these poor souls are searching
for.'
"`Let him be called on deck, and we will see if they acknowledge him as
their son,' said Sir Harry. `There must be many hundred David Campbells
in the world, I suspect, so do not raise their hopes too high by letting
them know that at all events we know the name on board.'
"`David Campbell! David Campbell!' was passed along the decks, and in a
minute a fine active young fellow came tumbling up from below.
"A mother's eye was not to be deceived. She knew him in an instant, and
toddled off as fast as her legs would carry her, followed by her
husband, to meet him. `He is, he is my ain bairn! There's none like
him!' she cried; and not caring a fig for the officers and men standing
around,--before even he knew who she was,--she had him clasped in her
arms, and was covering his cheeks with kisses, while the old father had
got hold of his hand and was tagging away at it just as a man in a hurry
does at a bell-rope.
"Now comes the extraordinary part of the story. Campbell had been
rather a wildish sort of a chap, and getting into some scrape, had gone
on board a tender, at Leith I think it was, and entered the navy. He
could not write, and was ashamed to get any one to write for him, so his
old father and mother did not know where he was, or whether he was alive
or dead.
"At last their hearts grew weary at not hearing tidings of him, and they
resolved to set out together to look out for their lost sheep; for you
see they were decent people and well to do in the world, so they had
money to bear the expense, which was not slight. They had very little
information to guide them. All they knew was, that their son had gone
on board one of the King's ships. A mother's deep love and a father's
affection was the only compass by which they could steer their course.
That did not fail them. They went from port to port, and visited every
ship in harbour, and asked every seaman they met about their son, but
nothing could they hear of him. At last, that very morning, a waggon
had brought them to Poole, and seeing a ship in the offing, which was no
other than the _Royal Charlotte_, they had got a boatman to take them
out to us.
"That, now, is what I call a providential circumstance; indeed, from all
I have seen and learned since I came into the world, I am convinced that
there is nothing happens in it by chance. The God of heaven orders all
for the best in kindness to us. Sometimes, it is true, things do not
occur exactly as we could wish, but that does not alter the rule; for if
we could but see the end, we should discover that the very thing of
which we most complain was in reality most for our good. Remember that,
nephew, whenever you get into danger or difficulty; be sure that you do
your duty, and all will come right at last. But I have not told you the
end of my story.
"The Poole boatman was sent on shore, and the traps of the old couple
were handed up on board. Like canny Scotch people, they had not let
their property remain out of their sight, but had brought it with them.
It was delightful to see their pleasure when Sir Harry invited them to
go on to Weymouth, and to live on board as long as the ship remained
there; and he gave orders to have a screen put up for their
accommodation. That, too, was just like him. There is not another man
in the service more considerate or kind to all below him. All, too, who
know him love him; and his Majesty, I believe, trusts him more, and
loves him more, than he does all his courtiers put together.
"Never have I seen a pair of old folks look more happy, as their son
went about showing them round the ship, and when all the officers and
crew spoke kindly to them as they passed.
"The king, too, when he came on board and heard the story, was very much
interested, and sent for them to have a talk with them. They did not
know who he was, but when they came out of the cabin they said that he
was one of the kindest old gentlemen they had ever seen; that he had had
a long crack with them all about bonnie Scotland and Scotch people; and
that he had asked them a heap of questions about their adventures.
"You should have seen their look of surprise when they heard that it was
his gracious Majesty himself. [Note. Admiral Sir Harry Burrard Neale
was a great-uncle of the author, and the account is given as it was
narrated to him many years ago.] They wanted to go back to fall down on
their knees, and to ask his pardon for talking so freely with him, and
it was not till we assured them that the king talked just in the same
way with any of the crew, that we could quiet them and make them believe
that all was right.
"At last, having assured themselves that their son was well and happy,
they returned with contented hearts to Scotland, and many has been the
long yarn they have spun, I doubt not, about King George and all the
wonders they have seen on their travels."
Every one was very much interested in my uncle's story. A young man who
was present, a friend of mine, belonging to a revenue cutter, observed,
"We were talking of smugglers just now. There is no end to the dodges
they are up to.
"Not long ago, soon after I joined the _Lively_, it had come on to blow
pretty fresh, and we had had a dirty night of it, when just as morning
broke we made out a cutter standing in for the land to the eastward of
Weymouth, and about two miles from us. The wind was from the
north-west, and it had kicked up a nasty sea, running pretty high, as it
well knows how to do in that part of the Channel.
"Our old mate, Mr Futlock, had the morning watch. It was never his
brightest time, for though he did not actually get tipsy, the reaction
following the four or five pretty stiff glasses of grog which he drank
at night, generally at this time took place. I was in his watch.
"`Youngster,' said he to me, `hand me the glass, and let us see if we
can make out what that fellow is.'
"I brought him the glass, which was kept hung up in beckets within the
companion-hatch. I had got my sea-legs aboard pretty well, but I
confess that I felt very queer that morning in certain regions, ranging
from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, and I doubt not looked
very yellow in the cheeks, with every instant an irresistible drawing
down of the mouth, and that worst of signs, a most unyoungsterlike
disinclination to eat.
"Mr Futlock took the glass, and with his lack-lustre eye had a long
look at the cutter, which was bobbing away into the seas, while she kept
her course on a wind as if in no manner of a hurry.
"`She is honest, I believe,' he observed, with a wise nod. `Probably a
Poole or Exmouth trader; but we must overhaul her notwithstanding.
Shake a reef out of the mainsail, my lads.'
"This was quickly done, and the sail hoisted up. `Now, keep her away a
couple of points more, and we shall about fetch her.'
"Our mate's orders being executed, away we went tearing through the
foaming, hissing water, now looking, in the morning's pale light, of a
dark, melancholy hue. The stranger continued on as steady as before.
"`Oh, there's no use in the world giving ourselves the trouble of
boarding her,' muttered Mr Futlock; and he was just going to order the
cutter to be kept on a wind, when we saw the stranger haul up his
foresail, and let fly his jib sheets, evidently intending to wait our
coming.
"`What cutter is that?' shouted old Futlock.
"`The _Polly_ of London, bound for Weymouth,' answered a man, who stood
at the taffrail, through a speaking-trumpet. `We hove-to, sir, that we
might tell you we have just run over a large number of tubs away there
to the southward.'
"`Thank you, thank you,' shouted Mr Futlock in return, as we ran by and
were soon out of speaking distance. `I knew that fellow was honest,' he
observed to me, rubbing his hands at the thought of making some
prize-money. `Come, rouse aft the main-sheet. We must haul up a little
again. Can any one see the tubs?'
"There were plenty of busy eyes looking out for the prize, and it was
not long before we discovered them on the weather bow. By keeping our
luff we were quickly up to them.
"The commander was by this time called, and now came a difficulty. With
the heavy sea there was running, it was a work not free from danger to
lower a boat. We first shortened sail; the helm was put down, and the
cutter hove-to, and then, after several attempts by waiting for a lull,
we got the boat with a crew safe in water.
"Mr Futlock jumped into the boat, and pulled towards the tubs which
were first seen, we meantime keeping a bright look-out for any more
which might be floating near.
"Not being accustomed to this sort of work, I felt not a little alarmed
for the safety of my shipmates, as I saw the boat tumbling about among
the white-crested waves.
"Mr Futlock soon got hold of ten tubs, lashed together, and hauled them
into the boat. A little further on he made a prize of ten more. This
was no bad beginning. He was returning with them, having in vain
searched for others, when we made out another collection just ahead of
the cutter. We soon had them all aboard, though the boat was nearly
swamped alongside. We hoisted her in at last, and seeing no more tubs,
let draw the foresail, and again stood on. When at last we looked about
for our communicative friend, he was not visible; but some of the men
said they thought they had seen him standing in for the land.
"We cruised about all the morning in the neighbourhood, but not a tub
more could we discover. Three days after that we dropped our anchor in
Weymouth roads. The commander went on shore to communicate with the
officer of the coast-guard on the station.
"`We were looking out for a cutter with a large cargo the other day, but
somehow or other we managed to miss her, and she managed to land every
tub. We understand that there has not been such a run for years,'
observed the coast-guard officer.
"Something made our commander fancy that she might have been the very
craft we spoke, and which had been so ready with information.
"`A cutter of about fifty tons, with her bulwarks painted yellow
inside?' he asked.
"`The very same,' answered the lieutenant. `That cunning rascal, Dick
Johnstone, was on board of her himself. Hearing that we were on the
look-out for his craft, the _Seagull_, he shifted his cargo into her.'
"`Then we were cleverly done!' exclaimed our commander, stamping his
foot with vexation. `The very fellow old Futlock thought looked so
honest that he would not take the trouble to board him. It is the very
last time in my life that I will trust to outside appearances.'
"All hands of us aboard the cutter felt very foolish when we found that
we had lost so good a chance of taking one of the richest prizes we were
ever likely to fall in with. However, revenue officers must have all
their seven senses wide awake to compass the artful dodges of determined
smugglers. After that, we took very good care to be smart about
boarding every vessel we fell in with."
After the conclusion of this yarn we had several other accounts of
smugglers and their daring deeds. Some even, it was asserted, had
ventured to defend themselves against king's ships, and had fought
severe actions, one or two having gone down with their colours flying
rather than surrender. On one point all were agreed, that no smugglers
had ever become permanently wealthy men. As my uncle observed, they
take a great deal of trouble and undergo great risk to obtain a very
uncertain advantage.
All the rest of the guests were gone; old Jerry remained behind. We
told him what had occurred in the morning, and I asked him if he could
find out anything about Charley Iffley; what was his rank, and to what
ship he belonged. I begged him, if he could find him, to take a message
to him from me, and to assure him that far from bearing him any
ill-will, I would gladly welcome him as an old friend.