DEFECTS AND HABITS
TAKING DEFECTS IN TIME—HABITS THAT MAKE CHILDREN UGLY—FINGER-SUCKING
AND NAIL-BITING—BED-WETTING—VICIOUS HABITS AND THEIR CURE—NERVOUSNESS
AND ITS TREATMENT—THE HABIT OF HAPPINESS
Physically, mentally, and spiritually, the baby laid in the young
mother’s arm is a creature to be molded by the intelligence and wisdom
of the woman who has borne it. Some women do not stop to define the
wonderful, mysterious thrill which passes over them as they hold the
precious gift close to their hearts for the first time. With other
women a sense of responsibility, beautiful and almost divine, comes
even before the child is born.
Barring deformities and constitutional defects, the average baby is
pliable in the hands of the mother. The preceding chapters have told
how a mother can give her child a fair start by intelligent care and
feeding. In this chapter we will go farther and show how the mother can
guard against ugliness in looks and character.
Mothers—and doctors—are waking up to the realization that preventive
medicine is the crying need among babies. The day when babies were
supposed to “outgrow” certain disfigurements or tendencies to disease
or weakness is past. Most of us can look back to the barbarous practice
of soothing a baby with paregoric and then trusting to nature to
relieve the condition which made soothing necessary. We really seemed
to think that a miracle would be worked while the baby slept!
If a baby had any terrible deformity or acute disease we turned to
a surgeon or physician, but we took long chances when the baby was
merely good. We never stopped to figure that a good baby could be made
a better baby by intelligent care, a better baby transformed into a
well-nigh perfect baby. And yet parents owe to the children they bring
into the world precisely this care.
One of the most interesting features of the Better Babies Contests
which I have visited has been the amazement of some mothers when they
discovered that, with a little care and attention, they could work such
wonders in their babies. As an example, in one city near New York, the
physicians in charge of the examinations at a contest asked me if I
would attend a meeting or “dress rehearsal” of the examination a few
weeks before the contest. They wanted a demonstration of just how
babies are examined by a scorecard. So all the arrangements were made,
the physicians agreeing to have a real baby on hand for a “model,” to
undergo the full examination.
The baby was scored precisely as if a regular contest were under way,
and was penalized 5 points for a rough skin and 15 points for an
eruption. The mother protested vigorously. The doctors showed her a
fine eruption over the abdomen and under the armpits. She declared that
the child had always had the marks—they were a sort of birthmark. The
doctors explained that such an eruption indicated overfeeding. Here
was a bottle-fed baby getting too heavy fare. The mother admitted that
she knew nothing about modifying the milk. The doctors told her how it
should be done.
The roughness of the skin was due to mosquito bites, numbers of them.
The mother said that she couldn’t help that and neither could the baby.
That was the fault of the mosquitoes! The doctors did not agree with
her. They explained that a careful mother protected her child from the
mosquitoes with a netting, that mosquitoes carried disease, that the
itching sores made the baby nervous.
The mother listened resentfully, especially when she saw that by the
card her baby scored only 89. Nevertheless, she must have thought
a great deal about what those doctors said, because when the real
contest was held in her city six weeks later, she entered her baby and
it carried off first prize, scoring 98 per cent. The chairman of the
committee in charge of the work wrote me that this mother had lightened
the quality of the baby’s food and the rash had disappeared. She had
cleared the house of mosquitoes, and the baby’s skin was smooth as a
rose petal! Which shows that a Better Babies Contest makes mothers
think—and act. Also, that a child can be made healthier and happier
with just a little thought and attention.
Your child has a right to all the beauty with which you can endow it.
If your baby has thin eyebrows and lashes, try to encourage their
growth. It can be done. Feed the eyebrows with a little cocoa butter,
or vaseline. If you are very careful you can even touch the lashes with
a tiny camel’s-hair brush dipped in melted vaseline. I know a man and
wife whose looks were marred by scanty lashes and colorless brows. When
her babies came this woman determined to do something to improve this
unfortunate inheritance. She rubbed vaseline into the brows, had the
lashes cut twice before the babies were three months old, asking the
family physician, an excellent surgeon, to do this for her, and then
she touched the roots of the lashes with melted vaseline. Her children,
now in their teens, have beautiful brows and lashes.
It is absolutely criminal to let a child distort its mouth by sucking
thumb or fingers. Let no mother deceive herself by saying that the
habit is the child’s great comfort, a natural soother and pacifier.
In later years that child, especially if it be a girl, will call her
mother to task for permitting the indulgence.
I have seen mothers actually start babies in this fatal habit of
finger-sucking by giving them what is known as a “pacifier,” or rubber
nipple on a ring. It is natural for a baby to suck at something. He
is born hungry. When he is very young he will continue making sucking
motions with his mouth after the breast or bottle has been taken from
him. If he happens to whimper the mother thinks the little sucking
motion must be satisfied; she gives him the pacifier, or actually
sticks his thumb into his mouth, and the mischief is begun.
The tendency to suck the thumb is easily checked. From the very start
remove the thumb or finger and lay the little hand firmly down at the
baby’s side as he drops asleep. If he persists, then immediately—not
after the habit is almost iron-clad—have him sleep with his hand in a
mitten. It is never too soon to correct this habit. Better a crying
baby to-day than a deformed daughter ten years from now. Thumb-sucking
thrusts the teeth out, and in some cases gives the entire lower part
of the face the shape of a rabbit’s.
Many mothers ask me about badly shaped hands, and stubby fingers. Even
these can be improved or remedied by patient care soon after the baby
is born. Press them firmly, steadily, into shape, a few minutes at a
time, every time the baby wakens. Of course, if bones are misshapen
they cannot be changed, but the stubby finger can be improved by
pressure—_if taken in time_. But it does no good to rub the fingers one
day and let them go three. It must be done patiently, regularly, and
gently, every day while the flesh, bones, and nails are soft.
Biting the nails is a habit which may develop in a very young child.
Many times this is a symptom of nervousness, but in the young child
this is more apt to be simply a habit without a reason. If the child is
old enough to be argued with it is much better to offer him some little
reward if he does not bite his nails and they grow out well-shaped and
beautiful. Try to make him see that they are something to be proud of.
He will soon learn to master the impulse. In a child too young to be
reasoned with it is better to remove the hands from the mouth firmly;
if this is not effective, rub the nails with a little powdered alum.
Picking at the nose may be the result of worms or of irritation of
the nostrils. If either of these two ailments is present the cause
must be removed. If it is purely a habit then it is a question of firm
discipline which even a baby can be made to understand.
Bed wetting, which is a habit that makes extra work for the mother
and causes discomfort for the child, may be a symptom of some chronic
ailment, or it may be lack of discipline and training. It sometimes
comes from incorrect diet, constipation, ringworm, irritation about the
genitals, enlarged tonsils, or adenoids. The doctor will decide whether
one or more of these defects is present. If not, then it becomes a
matter of discipline, which, however, is not achieved by punishment.
Only careful training will overcome this habit.
I have spoken in another chapter about setting the child on a little
chamber every hour throughout the day from the time he is eight or
nine months old. By following this practice the baby soon realizes
that to be wet is to be uncomfortable and wretched, and he will cry
out against it. Moreover, he will soon exercise his will to retain the
urine until time to sit on the chamber. As this cannot be done in the
night, up to the time he is eighteen months of age he is very apt to
wet the bed once or twice during the night; but when the ten o’clock
feeding is stopped and he has nothing to drink from 6 P.M. to 6 A.M.,
he gradually stops wetting the bed; and at two years of age he is
completely broken of the habit.
If a child has not been trained in this way the mother now realizes
that the habit of wetting the bed is confirmed; and at three years old
or more she should start training him afresh by putting him on the
chair every hour throughout the day. In this way the functions of the
bladder gradually come under the control of the will. At the end of two
or three weeks, instead of placing the child on the chair every hour,
the intervals are lengthened to one and one-half hours; then to two
hours; and the mother suddenly wakes up to find that her child is dry
all during the day. At first he may have to be taken up three or four
times at night, but soon this can be reduced to two, and finally to
one. When he is six years old he will be broken of the habit and will
sleep soundly and be dry for ten or twelve hours.
If the habit is well-grounded the diet may be changed to effect a cure.
The last evening meal of the day should be almost dry, with just an
occasional sup of water to allay thirst; no liquids should be served
after 4 P.M. Butter may be served with a cereal, and apple-sauce used
to moisten the meal of bread, toast, or crackers. Never give a young
child tea or coffee. These are not juvenile beverages; and they are
especially bad for bed-wetting children.
If the habit has grown on the child, discipline alone will cure it.
If, however, it amounts almost to an acute disease, overtaking the
child suddenly after it has passed its second birthday, the baby should
be examined by the family physician.
Masturbation is a habit which every mother should dread. But she should
consider this, also, in the light of a symptom first and foremost. I
do not believe that average children, of average parents, are born
into the world depraved or with vicious tendencies. The terrible habit
of masturbation, which breaks down the child’s physical, mental, and
moral nature, and often turns a healthy, normal child into a defective,
may be caused by carelessness on the part of the mother. The genitals
are extremely sensitive and easily inflamed. If the parts are not
kept immaculately clean there is discomfort, which the child tries to
relieve by scratching the genitals, by rubbing them against the leg of
a chair or table or by rubbing the thighs against each other. It is a
simple and natural effort to secure relief from irritation, precisely
as a child scratches his arm or neck after being bitten by a mosquito.
For this reason the mother should wash the parts carefully, not only
while the child wears diapers, but as he grows older. When he is old
enough to wash himself the mother should explain the importance of
cleanliness in the care of the genitals. This is the time to speak the
firm word of warning against handling these parts. The child who has
been taught to obey in other things will obey these instructions.
The mother who has a nurse-girl should talk to her very seriously about
the care of the child’s genitals and about guarding him against the
formation of any bad habits.
Children who have acquired this habit are generally nervous, restless,
and irritable. During the act itself the child’s face flushes, and this
is followed by violent perspiration on the forehead and face; then
drowsiness sets in; but the child does not sleep well. He has a dull
face and generally an anemic appearance.
In infants cleanliness and plentiful powdering will soon cure the
habit. Older children must be watched and disciplined, not with
punishment, but with reasoning and firmness.
Nervousness is a condition which may become a habit. Some children
are easily frightened, cry out when left in the dark, or indulge in
repeated little actions like blinking the eyes, clearing the throat,
shrugging the shoulders, and making spasmodic movements with the legs
and arms. Such a child should be examined by a physician and, if there
is real nervous trouble, treated correctly. If it is habit, the child
may be given firmly to understand that he is not pleasant and not
pretty when he does such things, but when he refrains from doing them
he is more likable and attractive. The average child does want people
to love him, does like to be admired; and this is the surest way of
teaching him self-control.
Sometimes a child is nervous because his parents are nervous; or he
does not have enough fresh air; or does not sleep in a quiet room; he
has too much excitement; sees too many people; or is taken into crowds.
Plenty of fresh air and sleep and regular habits will cure this form of
nervousness.
After all, habits of eating, sleeping, bathing, the regular movements
of the bowels, the control of the urine, even the control of the
temper, are the result of regularity on the part of the mother. She
starts her baby in life by establishing a regular routine for feeding,
sleeping, bathing, clothing, and exercise in fresh air. The baby fits
into this little routine complacently.
When a child is irregular in any of its habits, it is simply because
the mother has not realized the importance of routine. The mother waits
on the child when she has time, and neglects him when she has not. The
child becomes nervous and irritable under this lack of system, and
demands attention whenever he wakes up.
The child who has never known any habit except that of going to bed at
six at night and waking up at six in the morning follows this course
with little variation until he is old enough to learn from other
children that one may sit up till all hours if one cries for it. Up to
this time he has been very comfortable in his habit of early retiring;
now he demands the privilege of sitting up with his elders; and if he
is allowed to do this he is started on one very bad habit, fretting and
fuming until his wishes are granted.
A very good routine which will establish the baby in regular habits is
this: First bottle at six o’clock in the morning, after which baby is
quite content to lie in his crib, drowsy and cozy, or amusing himself
with fists as his only toys. After the mother has dressed and had her
breakfast in comfort she gives the baby his bath; and at nine o’clock
feeds him again. Then, if the day is pleasant, she tucks him into his
carriage or outdoor crib and lets him have his morning nap outdoors.
This gives her time to do her morning work, and, if the baby is fed
partly or wholly on the bottle, to prepare the modified milk for the
day’s use. At twelve comes another feeding while mother is having her
luncheon. Baby sleeps again while mother dresses; and then both go out
for an airing. At three comes the fourth bottle for the day, after
which baby has his real recreation while lying on the bed, or on a
comfortable on the floor in warm weather. Just before he has his six
o’clock bottle he is made comfortable for the night; and he is not
taken out of bed again until morning except to be changed and fed.
Sometimes it is almost as hard for the mother to maintain a routine as
it is for the child, but it is certainly a worth while investment of
time and energy to train the child to live up to this régime.
Good looks and attractiveness in a child depend a great deal upon his
way of eating. He should be taught to eat slowly from the time that his
little teeth break into solid food. Carefully masticated food is an aid
to digestion. When food is half chewed, or the child is permitted to
bolt his food, indigestion is sure to follow, the child looks anemic or
sallow, and he even has unsightly eruptions, pimples, etc., while still
very young.
Fresh air is a great beautifier. When the child cannot be taken
outdoors because of the severity of the weather, the ventilation in the
nursery should be perfect; and at least once during the day the baby
should be dressed in all his outdoor raiment and allowed to stay out of
the draught in a room where the windows are wide open.
Little habits of cleanliness in the care of the nails, the teeth, and
the hair not only make the child attractive to those around it, but
yield big returns in comfort for the child himself.
It is good discipline to see that the child picks up his clothes as
they are taken off; and his toys should be placed in the closet when he
is through playing with them. When such things are made a privilege and
not a penalty, when the child is taught that an orderly closet means a
special pat and kiss from mother, putting away his toys will really
mean a great deal to him.
Teasing is the worst possible interference with discipline. Never allow
your baby to be teased by adults or other children. Some children
become highly nervous under teasing, others turn sullen and resentful.
There is wonderful power in happiness and affection. Surround your
child with both. Add sympathy and intelligent understanding of his
needs and development, and you will, indeed, have a better baby.