merchant. "Thou art a presumptuous fellow," said he, "to tell me
a story so little worth hearing, and then to compare it to that
of my jester. Canst thou flatter thyself so far as to believe
that the trifling adventures of a young debauchee are more
interesting than those of my jester? I will have you all four
impaled, to revenge his death.
Hearing this, the purveyor prostrated himself at the sultan's
feet. "Sir," said he, "I humbly beseech your majesty to suspend
your wrath, and hear my story; and if it appears to be more
extraordinary than that of your jester, to pardon us." The sultan
having granted his request, the purveyor began thus.
The Story told by the Sultan of Casgar's Purveyor.
Sir, a person of quality invited me yesterday to his daughter's
wedding. I went to his house in the evening at the hour
appointed, and found there a large company of men of the law,
ministers of justice, and others of the first rank in the city.
After the ceremony was over, we partook of a splendid feast.
Among other dishes set upon the table, there was one seasoned
with garlic, which was very delicious, and generally relished. We
observed, however, that one of the guests did not touch it,
though it stood just before him. We invited him to taste it, but
he intreated us not to press him. "I will take good care," said
he, "how I touch any dish that is seasoned with garlic; I have
not yet forgotten what the tasting of such a dish once cost me."
We requested him to inform us what the reason was of his aversion
to garlic. But before he had time to answer, the master of the
house exclaimed, "Is it thus you honour my table? This dish is
excellent, do not expect to be excused from eating of it; you
must do me that favour as well as the rest." "Sir," said the
gentleman, who was a Bagdad merchant, "I hope you do not think my
refusal proceeds from any mistaken delicacy; if you insist on my
compliance I will submit, but it must be on this condition, that
after having eaten, I may, with your permission, wash my hands
with alkali forty times, forty times more with ashes, and forty
times again with soap. I hope you will not feel displeased at
this stipulation, as I have made an oath never to taste garlic
but on these terms."
As the master of the house, continued the purveyor of the sultan
of Casgar, would not dispense with the merchant's partaking of
the dish seasoned with garlic, he ordered his servants to provide
a basin of water, together with some alkali, the ashes, and soap,
that the merchant might wash as often as he pleased. After he had
given these instructions, he addressed the merchant and said, "I
hope you will now do as we do."
The merchant, apparently displeased with the constraint put upon
him, took up a bit, which he put to his mouth trembling, and ate
with a reluctance that astonished us. But what surprised us yet
more was, that he had no thumb; which none of us had observed
before, though he had eaten of other dishes. "You have lost your
thumb," said the master of the house. "This must have been
occasioned by some extraordinary accident, a relation of which
will be agreeable to the company." "Sir," replied the merchant,
"I have no thumb on either the right or the left hand." As he
spoke he put out his left hand, and shewed us that what he said
was true. "But this is not all," continued he: "I have no great
toe on either of my feet: I was maimed in this manner by an
unheard-of adventure, which I am willing to relate, if you will
have the patience to hear me. The account will excite at once
your astonishment and your pity. Only allow me first to wash my
hands." With this he rose from the table, and after washing his
hands a hundred and twenty times, reseated himself, and proceeded
with his narrative as follows.
In the reign of the caliph Haroon al Rusheed, my father lived at
Bagdad, the place of my nativity, and was reputed one of the
richest merchants in the city. But being a man addicted to his
pleasures, and neglecting his private affairs, instead of leaving
me an ample fortune, he died in such embarrassed circumstances,
that I was reduced to the necessity of using all the economy
possible to discharge the debts he had contracted. I at last,
however, paid them all; and by care and good management my little
fortune began to wear a smiling aspect.
One morning, as I opened my shop, a lady mounted upon a mule, and
attended by an eunuch and two slaves, stopped near my door, and
with the assistance of the eunuch alighted. "Madam," said the
eunuch, "I told you you would be too early; you see there is no
one yet in the bazaar: had you taken my advice, you might have
saved yourself the trouble of waiting here." The lady looked and
perceiving no shop open but mine, asked permission to sit in it
till the other merchants arrived. With this request I of course
readily complied.
The lady took a seat in my shop, and observing there was no one
in the bazaar but the eunuch and myself, uncovered her face to
take the air. I had never beheld any thing so beautiful. I became
instantly enamoured, and kept my eyes fixed upon her. I flattered
myself that my attention was not unpleasant to her; for she
allowed me time to view her deliberately, and only concealed her
face so far as she thought necessary to avoid being observed.
After she had again lowered her veil, she told me she wanted
several sorts of the richest and finest stuffs, and asked me if I
had them. "Alas! madam," I replied, "I am but a young man just
beginning the world; I have not capital sufficient for such
extensive traffic. I am much mortified not to be able to
accommodate you with the articles you want. But to save you the
trouble of going from shop to shop, when the merchants arrive, I
will, if you please, go and get those articles from them, and
ascertain the lowest prices." She assented to this proposal, and
entered into conversation with me, which I prolonged, making her
believe the merchants that could furnish what she wanted were not
yet come.
I was not less charmed with her wit than I had been before with
the beauty of her face; but was obliged to forego the pleasure of
her conversation. I ran for the stuffs she wanted, and after she
had fixed upon what she liked, we agreed for five thousand
dirhems of coined silver; I wrapped up the stuffs in a small
bundle, and gave it to the eunuch, who put it under his arm. She
then rose and took leave. I followed her with my eyes till she
had reached the bazaar gate, and even after she had remounted her
mule.
The lady had no sooner disappeared, than I perceived that love
had led me to a serious oversight. It had so engrossed my
thoughts, that I did not reflect that she went away without
paying, and that I had not informed myself who she was, or where
she resided. I soon felt sensible, however, that I was
accountable for a large sum to the merchants, who, perhaps, would
not have patience to wait for their money: I went to them, and
made the best excuse I could, pretending that I knew the lady;
and then returned home, equally affected with love, and with the
burden of such a heavy debt.
I had desired my creditors to wait eight days for their money:
when this period had elapsed, they did not fail to dun me. I then
intreated them to give me eight days more, to which they
consented; but the next day I saw the lady enter the bazaar,
mounted on her mule, with the same attendants as before, and
exactly the same hour of the day.
She came straight to my shop. "I have made you wait some time,"
said she, "but here is your money at last; carry it to the
banker, and see that it is all good and right." The eunuch who
carried the money went along with me to the banker, and we found
it quite right. I returned, and had the happiness of conversing
with the lady till all the shops of the bazaar were open. Though
we talked but of ordinary things, she gave them such a turn, that
they appeared new and uncommon; and convinced me that I was not
mistaken in admiring her wit at our first interview.
As soon as the merchants had arrived and opened their shops, I
carried to the respective owners the money due for their stuffs,
and was readily intrusted with more, which the lady had desired
to see. She chose some from these to the value of one thousand
pieces of gold, and carried them away as before without paying;
nay, without speaking a word, or informing me who she was. What
distressed me was the consideration that while at this rate she
risked nothing, she left me without any security against being
made answerable for the goods in case she did not return. "She
has paid me," thought I, "a considerable sum; but she leaves me
responsible for a greater, Surely she cannot be a cheat. The
merchants do not know her, they will all come upon me." In short,
my love was not so powerful as to stifle the uneasiness I felt,
when I reflected upon the circumstances in which I was placed. A
whole month passed before I heard any thing of the lady again;
and during that time my alarm increased. The merchants were
impatient for their money, and to satisfy them, I was going to
sell off all I had, when one morning the lady returned with the
same equipage as before.
"Take your weights," said she, "and weigh the gold I have brought
you." These words dispelled my fear, and inflamed my love. Before
we counted the money, she asked me several questions, and
particularly if I was married. I answered I never had been. Then
reaching out the gold to the eunuch, "Let us have your
interposition," said she, "to accommodate our matters." Upon
which the eunuch fell a laughing, and calling me aside, made me
weigh the gold. While I was thus occupied, the eunuch whispered
in my ear, "I know by your eyes you love this lady, and I am
surprised that you have not the courage to disclose your passion.
She loves you more ardently than you do her. Do not imagine that
she has any real occasion for your stuffs. She only makes this
her presence to come here, because you have inspired her with a
violent passion. It was for this reason she asked you if you were
married. It will be your own fault, if you do not marry her." "It
is true," I replied, "I have loved her since I first beheld her;
but I durst not aspire to the happiness of thinking my attachment
could meet her approbation. I am entirely hers, and shall not
fail to retain a grateful sense of your good offices in this
affair."
I finished weighing the gold, and while I was putting it into the
bag, the eunuch turned to the lady, and told her I was satisfied;
that being the word they had agreed upon between themselves.
Presently after, the lady rose and took her leave; telling me she
would send her eunuch to me, and that I had only to obey the
directions he might give me in her name.
I carried each of the merchants their money, and waited some days
with impatience for the eunuch. At last he came.
I received the eunuch very kindly, and inquired after his
mistress's health. "You are," said he, "the happiest lover in the
world; she is impatient to see you; aud were she mistress of her
own conduct, would not fail to come to you herself, and willingly
pass in your society all the days of her life." "Her noble mien
and graceful carriage," I replied, "convinced me, that she was a
lady beyond the common rank." "You have not erred in your
judgment on that head," said the eunuch; "she is the favourite of
Zobeide the caliph's wife, who is the more affectionately
attached to her from having brought her up from her infancy, and
intrusts her with all her affairs. Having a wish to marry, she
has declared to her mistress that she has fixed her affections
upon you, and has desired her consent. Zobeide told her, she
would not withhold her consent; but that she would see you first,
in order to judge if she had made a good choice; in which case
she meant herself to defray the expenses of the wedding. Thus you
see your felicity is certain; since you have pleased the
favourite, you will be equally agreeable to the mistress, who
seeks only to oblige her, and would by no means thwart her
inclination. All you have to do is to come to the palace. I am
sent hither to invite you." "My resolution is already formed,"
said I, "and I am ready to follow you whithersoever you please."
"Very well," said the eunuch; "but you know men are not allowed
to enter the ladies' apartments in the palace, and you must be
introduced with great secrecy. The favourite lady has contrived
the matter well. On your side you must act your part discreetly;
for if you do not, your life is at stake."
I gave him repeated assurances punctually to perform whatever he
might require. "Then," said he, "in the evening, you must be at
the mosque built by the caliph's lady on the bank of the Tigris,
and wait there till somebody comes to conduct you." To this I
agreed; and after passing the day in great impatience, went in
the evening to the prayer that is said an hour and a half after
sun-set in the mosque, and remained there after all the people
had departed.
Soon after I saw a boat making up to the mosque, the rowers of
which were all eunuchs, who came on shore, put several large
trunks into the mosque, and then retired. One of them stayed
behind, whom I perceived to be the eunuch that had accompanied
the lady, and had been with me that morning. I saw the lady also
enter the mosque; and approaching her, told her I was ready to
obey her orders. "We have no time to lose," said she; and opening
one of the trunks, desired me to get into it, that being
necessary both for her safety and mine. "Fear nothing," added
she, "leave the management of all to me." I considered with
myself that I had gone too far to recede, and obeyed her orders;
when she immediately locked the trunk. This done, the eunuch her
confidant called the other eunuchs who had brought in the trunks,
and ordered them to carry them on board again. The lady and the
eunuch re-embarked, and the boatmen rowed to Zobeide's apartment.
In the meantime I reflected very seriously upon the danger to
which I had exposed myself, and made vows and prayers, though it
was then too late.
The boat stopped at the palace-gate, and the trunks were carried
into the apartment of the officer of the eunuchs, who keeps the
key of the ladies' apartments, and suffers nothing to enter
without a narrow inspection. The officer was then in bed, and it
was necessary to call him up.
The officer of the eunuchs was displeased at having his rest
disturbed, and severely chid the favourite lady for coming home
so late. "You shall not come off so easily as you think," said
he: "not one of these trunks shall pass till I have opened it."
At the same time he commanded the eunuchs to bring them before
him, and open them one by one. The first they took was that
wherein I lay, which put me into inexpressible fear.
The favourite lady, who had the key, protested it should not be
opened. "You know very well," said she, "I bring nothing hither
but what is for the use of Zobeide, your mistress and mine. This
trunk is filled with rich goods, which I purchased from some
merchants lately arrived, besides a number of bottles of Zemzem
water sent from Mecca; and if any of these should happen to
break, the goods will be spoiled, and you must answer for them;
depend upon it, Zobeide will resent your insolence." She insisted
upon this in such peremptory terms, that the officer did not dare
to open any of the trunks. "Let them go," said he angrily; "you
may take them away." Upon this the door of the women's apartment
was opened, and all the trunks were carried in.
This had been scarcely accomplished, when I heard the people cry,
"Here is the caliph! Here comes the caliph!" This put me in such
alarm, that I wonder I did not die upon the spot; for as they
announced, it proved to be the caliph. "What hast thou got in
these trunks?" said he to the favourite. "Some stuffs," she
replied, "lately arrived, which the empress wishes to see." "Open
them," cried he, "and let me see them." She excused herself,
alleging the stuffs were only proper for ladies, and that by
opening them, his lady would be deprived of the pleasure of
seeing them first. "I say open them," resumed the caliph; "I will
see them." She still represented that her mistress would be angry
with her, if she complied: "No, no," said he, "I will engage she
shall not say a word to you. Come, come, open them, and do not
keep me waiting."
It was necessary to obey, which gave me such alarm, that I
tremble every time I recollect my situation. The caliph sat down;
and the favourite ordered all the trunks to be brought before him
one after another. She opened some of them; and to lengthen out
the time, displayed the beauties of each particular stuff,
thinking in this manner to tire out his patience; but her
stratagem did not succeed. Being as unwilling as myself to have
the trunk where I lay opened, she left that to the last. When all
the rest were viewed, "Come," said the caliph, "let us see what
is in that." I am at a loss to tell you whether I was dead or
alive that moment; for I little thought of escaping such imminent
danger.
When Zobeide's favourite saw that the caliph persisted in having
this trunk opened: "As for this," said she, "your majesty will
please to dispense with the opening of it; there are some things
in it which I cannot shew you without your lady be present."
"Well, well," said the caliph, "since that is the case, I am
satisfied; order the trunks to be carried away." The words were
no sooner spoken than they were moved into her chamber, where I
began to revive again.
As soon as the eunuchs, who had brought them, were gone, she
opened the trunk in which I was confined. "Come out," said she;
"go up these stairs that lead to an upper room, and wait there
till I come to you." The door, which led to the stairs, she
locked after me; and that was no sooner done, than the caliph
came and sat down on the very trunk which had been my prison. The
occasion of this visit did not respect me. He wished to question
the lady about what she had seen or heard in the city. So they
conversed together some time; he then left her, and retired to
his apartment.
When she found the coast clear, she came to the chamber where I
lay concealed, and made many apologies for the alarms she had
given me. "My uneasiness," said she, "was no less than yours; you
cannot well doubt of that, since I have run the same risk out of
love to you. Perhaps another person in my situation would not,
upon so delicate an occasion, have had the presence of mind to
manage so difficult a business with so much dexterity; nothing
less than the love I had for you could have inspired me with
courage to do what I have. But come, take heart, the danger is
now over." After much tender conversation, she told me it was
time to go to rest, and that she would not fail to introduce me
to Zobeide her mistress, some hour on the morrow, "which will be
very easy," added she; "for the caliph never sees her but at
night." Encouraged by these words, I slept very well, or if my
sleep was interrupted, it was by agreeable disquietudes, caused
by the hopes of possessing a lady blest with so much wit and
beauty.
The next day, before I was introduced to Zobeide, her favourite
instructed me how to conduct myself, mentioning what questions
she would probably put to me, and dictating the answers I was to
return. She then carried me into a very magnificent and richly
furnished hall. I had no sooner entered, than twenty female
slaves, advanced in age, dressed in rich and uniform habits, came
out of Zobeide's apartment, and placed themselves before the
throne in two equal rows; they were followed by twenty other
younger ladies, clothed after the same fashion, only their habits
appeared somewhat gayer. In the middle of these appeared Zobeide
with a majestic air, and so laden with jewels, that she could
scarcely walk. She ascended the throne, and the favourite lady,
who had accompanied her, stood just by her right hand; the other
ladies, who were slaves, being placed at some distance on each
side of the throne.
As soon as the caliph's lady was seated, the slaves who came in
first made a sign for me to approach. I advanced between the two
rows they had formed, and prostrated myself upon the carpet that
was under the princess's feet. She ordered me to rise, did me the
honour to ask my name, my family, and the state of my fortune; to
all which I gave her satisfactory answers, as I perceived, not
only by her countenance, but by her words. "I am glad," said she,
"that my daughter," (so she used to call the favourite lady,)
"for I look upon her as such after the care I have take of her
education, has made this choice; I approve of it, and consent to
your marriage. I will myself give orders for having it
solemnized; but I wish my daughter to remain with me ten days
before the solemnity; in that time I will speak to the caliph,
and obtain his consent: mean while do you remain here; you shall
be taken care of."
Pursuant to the commands of the caliph's lady, I remained ten
days in the women's apartments, and during that time was deprived
of the pleasure of seeing the favourite lady: but was so well
used by her orders, that I had no reason to be dissatisfied.
Zobeide told the caliph her resolution of marrying the favourite
lady; and the caliph leaving to her the liberty to act in the
business as she thought proper, granted the favourite a
considerable sum by way of settlement. When the ten days were
expired, Zobeide ordered the contract of marriage to be drawn up
and brought to her, and the necessary preparations being made for
the solemnity, the musicians and the dancers, both male and
female, were called in, and there were great rejoicings in the
palace for nine days. The tenth day being appointed for the last
ceremony of the marriage, the favourite lady was conducted to a
bath, and I to another. At night I had all manner of dishes
served up to me, and among others, one seasoned with garlic, such
as you have now forced me to eat. This I liked so well, that I
scarcely touched any of the other dishes. But to my misfortune,
when I rose from table, instead of washing my hands well, I only
wiped them; a piece of negligence of which I had never before
been guilty.
As it was then night, the whole apartment of the ladies was
lighted up so as to equal the brightness of day. Nothing was to
be heard through the palace but musical instruments, dances, and
acclamations of joy. My bride and I were introduced into a great
hall, where we were placed upon two thrones. The women who
attended her made her robe herself several times, according to
the usual custom on wedding days; and they shewed her to me every
time she changed her habit.
All these ceremonies being over, we were conducted to the nuptial
chamber: as soon as the company retired, I approached my wife;
but instead of returning my transports, she pushed me away, and
cried out, upon which all the ladies of the apartment came
running in to inquire the cause: and for my own part, I was so
thunderstruck, that I stood like a statue, without the power of
even asking what she meant. "Dear sister," said they to her,
"what has happened since we left you? Let us know, that we may
try to relieve you." "Take," said she, "take that vile fellow out
of my sight." "Why, madam?" I asked, "wherein have I deserved
your displeasure?" "You are a villain," said she in a furious
passion, "to eat garlic, and not wash your hands! Do you think I
would suffer such a polluted wretch to poison me? Down with him,
down with him on the ground," continued she, addressing herself
to the ladies, "and bring me a bastinado." They immediately did
as they were desired; and while some held my hands, and others my
feet, my wife, who was presently furnished with a weapon, laid on
me as long as she could stand. She then said to the ladies, "Take
him, send him to the judge, and let the hand be cut off with
which he fed upon the garlic dish."
"Alas!" cried I, "must I be beaten unmercifully, and, to complete
my affliction, have my hand cut off, for partaking of a dish
seasoned with garlic, and forgetting to wash my hands? What
proportion is there between the punishment and the crime? Curse
on the dish, on the cook who dressed it, and on him who served it
up."