The red man of the forest was form'ly a very respectful
person. Justice to the noble aboorygine warrants me in sayin'
that orrigernerly he was a majestic cuss.
At the time CHRIS. arrove on these shores (I allood to CHRIS.
COLUMBUS), the savajis was virtoous and happy. They were
innocent of secession, rum, draw-poker, and sinfulness
gin'rally. They didn't discuss the slavery question as a
custom. They had no Congress, faro banks, delirium tremens,
or Associated Press. Their habits was consequently good.
Late suppers, dyspepsy, gas companies, thieves, ward
politicians, pretty waiter-girls, and other metropolitan
refinements, were unknown among them. No savage in good
standing would take postage-stamps. You couldn't have bo't a
coonskin with a barrel of 'em. The female Aboorygine never
died of consumption, because she didn't tie her waist up in
whale-bone things; but in loose and flowin' garments she
bounded, with naked feet, over hills and plains, like the wild
and frisky antelope. It was a onlucky moment for us when
CHRIS. sot his foot onto these 'ere shores. It would have
been better for us of the present day if the injins had given
him a warm meal and sent him home ore the ragin' billers. For
the savages owned the country, and COLUMBUS was a fillibuster.
CORTEZ, PIZARRO, and WALKER were one-horse fillibusters--
COLUMBUS was a four-horse team fillibuster, and a large yaller
dog under the waggin. I say, in view of the mess we are
makin' of things, it would have been better for us if cOLUMBUS
had staid to home. It would have been better for the show
bisniss. The circulation of "Vanity Fair" would be larger,
and the proprietors would all have boozum pins! Yes, sir, and
perhaps a ten-pin alley.
By which I don't wish to be understood as intimatin' that the
scalpin' wretches who are in the injin bisness at the present
day are of any account, or calculated to make home happy,
specially the Sioxes of Minnesoty, who desarve to be murdered
in the first degree, and if POPE will only stay in St. Paul
and not go near 'em HIMSELF, I reckon they will be.