tired of it. You would think if a feller forgets to buy a packet soap
powder, y'understand, his wife wouldn't go crazy and ring up the police
station yet, on account I am going with Baskof and this here cutter to
see a lawyer by the name Sholy, which he lives in my flathouse yet.
There we are sitting till twelve o'clock fixing up the contract, and if
you don't like it you could lump it. When I come home I got to get
Doctor Eichendorfer yet to tend to Minnie. Five dollars that robber
soaks me, and he lives in the same house with me. Also this lawyer Sholy
charges me also twenty-five dollars for drawing the contract, understand
me, which Feldman himself would only charge us fifty. Neighbours them
fellers is, Abe! Such neighbours I would expect to got it if I am living
next door to Sing Sing prison."
For more than an hour Abe pressed the matter no further, but at length
curiosity impelled him to speak. "Say, lookyhere, Mawruss," he began,
"couldn't I look at that contract too?"
"Sure you could," Morris replied. "I'm surprised you ain't got no more
interest in the matter you didn't ask me before."
Abe grunted and took the contract that Morris handed to him. "This
agreement," it ran, "made and entered into between Abraham Potash and
Morris Perlmutter, composing the firm of Potash & Perlmutter, of the
Borough of Manhattan, City of New York, parties of the first part, and
Enrico Simonetti, of the same place, party of the second part,
witnesseth----"
At this point Abe dropped the contract.
"Mawruss," he said slowly, "do you mean to told me you are hiring for a
designer an Italiener?"
"Sure," Morris replied; "why not?"
"Why not!" Abe bellowed. "Why not! Ain't you and me married men? Ain't
we got wives? Ain't you got a child to support as well?"
"What's that got to do with it?" Morris asked.
"What's that got to do with it?" Abe repeated. "I'm surprised to hear you
you should talk that way, Mawruss. Supposing it is necessary we should
tell such a feller he is coming down late _oder_ he is doing something
which he shouldn't do, y'understand, then the very first thing you know
he sticks into us a knife _und fertig_. I suppose, Mawruss, you are
figuring that even if you don't carry such good insurance, Mawruss, your
wife is young and could easy get married again. But with me is
differencely. My wife ain't so young no longer and----"
"Say, lookyhere, Abe," Morris interrupted, "don't talk no more such
nonsense to me, because I seen the feller and I am sitting with him last
night over three hours. That feller would no more stick into you a knife
as I would."
"No?" Abe commented.
"And furthermore, Abe, when you are saying that Italieners stick knives,
understand me, you are talking like a greenhorn. Italieners is decent,
respectable people like anybody else, Abe, and just because when you are
going on the opera a couple Italieners stabs themselves, like I am
seeing it last week a show by the name Paliatzki, y'understand, that
ain't no sign every Italiener is a stabber, understand me. For that
matter, Abe, after this here show Paliatzki comes a whole lot of fellers
from Russland on to the stage, which they are dancing so quick I never
seen the like, understand me, and you know as well as I do, Abe, we got
plenty fellers from Russland working by us here which they could no more
dance as they could fly."
Abe shrugged again.
"Never mind, supposing they wouldn't be stabbers even, Mawruss," he
continued, "if you got working for you an Italiener which you just broke
in good, y'understand, so soon as he saves a couple hundred dollars he
right away quits you and goes back to the old country. All them fellers
is eating is garlic and _Lockshen mit_ holes into it, and you know as
well as I do, Mawruss, for two hundred dollars a feller could buy enough
_Lockshen und Knoblauch_ to last him for the rest of his natural life.
Whereas Mawruss, you take a feller which he is coming over here from
Russland, y'understand, and he wouldn't go back to the old country not
if you was to make him a present of it free for nothing."
"Is it anything against them Italieners if they save their money, Abe?"
Morris asked.
"All right, Mawruss," Abe said, "supposing Italieners is such big
savers, understand me, one thing you must anyhow got to admit, Mawruss.
You get a couple Italieners working for you, understand me, and from
morning till night they never give you a minute's peace. Seemingly they
must got to sing. They couldn't help themselves, Mawruss."
"What do we care if he hollers a little something oncet in a while,
Abe?" Morris protested. "We could stand it if he turns out some good
styles."
"_If_ he turns out good styles is all right, Mawruss," Abe said as he
turned away. "Lots of accidents could happen to a feller in the garment
business, Mawruss. Burglars could bust into his loft and steal his silk
piece goods on him; he could have maybe a fire; he could fall down the
elevator shaft and break, _Gott soll hüten_, his neck. All these things
could come to a garment manufacturer, Mawruss; but that his designer
should turn out some good styles is an accident which don't happen to
one garment manufacturer out of a hundred, Mawruss."
Nevertheless, long before Enrico Simonetti's term of employment had
expired Abe was obliged to acknowledge his mistake.
Not only had Enrico proved his efficiency and originality as a designer
but he had exercised the utmost discretion in the management of the
cutting room. Moreover, he had little taste for music and never so much
as whistled a melody during working hours.
"I couldn't make him out at all, Mawruss," Abe declared one morning.
"Actually the feller complains to me this morning he couldn't stand that
little greenhorn we hired last week on account he smells so from
garlic."
"Sure, I know," Morris replied, "and he don't smoke and he don't
_shikker_, and he tells me yesterday he boards with a family on Second
Avenue which all it costs him is four dollars a week. And yet you, Abe,
you are kicking because the feller is an Italiener."
"When was I kicking to you the feller is an Italiener?" Abe demanded.
"Why, you yourself, Mawruss, always says to me Italieners is no good. If
you are telling me oncet you are telling me a hundred times about an
Italiener family which they are living on top of you, Mawruss, and, to
hear you talk, such _Roshoyim_ you wouldn't believe existed at all."
"Sure, I know," Morris admitted, "but there's Italieners and Italieners,
Abe; and only last night them people sits up till two o'clock this
morning _shikkering_ and hollering. Not alone the woman hollers, Abe,
but a feller sings that big song from Paliatzki till I thought my head
would bust. Some one should write to the Board of Health about it, Abe."
"My _tzuris_!" Abe exclaimed. "If you got living in the same house with
you a lawyer and a doctor, Mawruss, you shouldn't got much trouble
getting the Board of Health after them Italieners. And anyhow, Mawruss,
if the worser comes to the worst, y'understand, there's one thing you
could always do.
"What's that?" Morris asked.
"Move out," Abe replied, as he started for the cutting room.
"Yes, Mawruss," he commented, when he returned five minutes later, "you
could knock the Italieners all you want, but you got to admit they ain't
throwing their money into the street. Henry is showing me just now a
bankbook which in the last nine months he is putting away eighteen
hundred dollars."
"That's all right, Abe," Morris said. "If he would be from _unsere
Leute_, y'understand, instead he is putting the money in savings bank
and getting 3 per cent. interest, he would invest it in something else
and make it pretty near double itself soon."
"What d'ye mean, 3 per cent. interest?" Abe retorted. "Henry's got his
money in a bank which they are paying him 5 per cent. compounded every
three months. Henry ain't no fool, Mawruss."
"Five per cent.!" Morris exclaimed. "What for a bank would pay 5 per
cent. interest, Abe?"
"I don't know what for a bank pays 5 per cent., Mawruss," Abe replied,
"but you could take it from me, Mawruss, the way Sam Feder discounts
perfectly good A number one accounts for them depositors of his when
they are a little short, Mawruss, not only could the Kosciusko Bank
afford to pay five per cent., Mawruss, but they could also give 6 or 7,
and still Sam Feder's wife wouldn't got to pawn none of her diamonds."
"Does he deposit his money with Feder?" Morris asked.
"Yow, he deposit his money with Feder, Mawruss!" Abe replied. "He
deposits his money with a banker by the name Guy-seppy Scratch-oly."
"Guy-seppy Scratch-oly," Morris repeated. "That's a fine name for a
banker, Abe."
"Guy-seppy, that's Italian for Yosef, Mawruss," Abe explained. "And
Scratch-oly is an Italian name the same like a feller in Russland would
be called Lipschutzky. For that matter, Mawruss, Lipschutzky ain't much
of a name for a banker neither."
"No," Morris admitted, "but I'd a whole lot sooner trust my money to a
feller by the name Lipschutzky _oder_ Feder, as to one of the Scratchy
names, Abe."
"What is the difference what the banker's name is?" Abe rejoined. "Henry
says the money is all sent by his bank to a branch they got in the old
country. _Gott weiss_ what that bank couldn't get for its money in the
old country, because you know as well as I do, Mawruss, here in New York
City some business men is short oncet in a while, understand me, but
over in the old country everybody is short all the time. The way banks
does business over there, Mawruss, they make Feder's bank look like a
Free Loan Association."
"Sure, I know, Abe," Morris said gloomily, "and you mark my words, Abe,
so soon as Henry's year is up he will follow his money to the old
country."
"You shouldn't worry yourself about that, Mawruss," Abe said
confidently. "When a feller's got a contract with a privilege for
renewal at two hundred dollars raise, like Henry got it, understand me,
he ain't so stuck on going back to the old country. Two hundred dollars
is a whole lot of money over there, Mawruss. For two hundred dollars in
the old country a----"
"Don't tell me again how much _Lockshen_ mit holes in it a feller could
buy in the old country, Abe," Morris interrupted. "There's elegant
weather over there and good wine to drink, and places to go and look at
which they got mountains twicet as high as the Catskills, with olives
and grapes growing on to 'em."
"I was never crazy about olives, Mawruss."
"Me neither," Morris agreed, "but Henry is something else again, and the
way that feller is talking to me in the cutting room yesterday, Abe,
either he wouldn't be working for us three months from to-day or the
steamers stops running to Italy."
* * * * *
"Mawruss," Abe shouted, at ten o'clock one morning in early March,
"where was you?"
"Where was I?" Morris repeated. "I was to the court, that's where I
was."
"To the court!" Abe exclaimed.
"That's what I said," Morris continued. "We fixed that sucker, me and
Sholy and Doctor Eichendorfer and Baskof. We got him for a summons for
this afternoon two o'clock he should go to the Jefferson Market Police
Court. Till four o'clock this morning them people upstairs sits up
hollering and _skiddering_. Minnie and me we couldn't sleep a wink, and
Baskof neither. Steals our servant girl yet. I'll show that _Rosher_."
Abe glared indignantly at his partner.
"Do you mean to told me, Mawruss," he said, "that you are fooling away
your time going on the court because somebody upstairs sings a little
something last night?"
"Sings a little something!" Morris cried. "Why, that Italiener hollers
Paliatzki till you would think he commits a murder up there."
"Suppose he did, Mawruss, ain't we got no business to go down here? Here
we are rushed to death already, and you are fooling away your----"
"Don't say that again, Abe," Morris broke in. "I guess I could take off
a couple hours if I want to."
"Sure," Abe replied ironically, "and Henry takes off a couple of hours
this lunchtime. He just told me so, Mawruss. He takes off a couple hours
on account he is going downtown to draw some money out of the bank and
buy his ticket."
"Buy his ticket!" Morris gasped.
"That's right," Abe continued, with forced calmness, "because, Mawruss,
they wouldn't let no one travel on a steamer without buying a ticket.
People what runs steamers is very funny that way, Mawruss."
Morris grew pale as he removed his coat and hat.
"What's he buying a steamer ticket for?" he asked.
"He didn't tell me exactly, Mawruss," Abe went on, "but I got a sort of
an idee he's going back to Italy, Mawruss, and next time, Mawruss, when
we hire a designer, understand me, I would do it myself. Also, Mawruss,
I would hire a designer which, if he goes back to the old country,
y'understand, they would right away take him for a soldier, and then,
Mawruss, we wouldn't got to be left without a designer just in the
middle of the busy season."
"Did you talk to him, Abe?" Morris inquired timidly. "Maybe we could
jolly him into staying."
Abe nodded again.
"Maybe you could jolly a duck not to swim in the water, Mawruss," he
cried bitterly.
"That's all right, Abe," Morris retorted. "A duck ain't got no use for a
couple of hundred dollars bonus."
"A couple of hundred dollars bonus!" Abe yelled. "Do you mean to say you
would offer that Italiener a bonus?"
"Sure; why not?" Morris asked. "Ain't he a good designer, Abe?"
"I don't care if he was the best designer in the world, Mawruss," Abe
replied firmly. "Before I would give him a couple hundred dollars bonus,
understand me, he could go to Italy and a whole lot farther too."
"Suit yourself," Morris said, as he commenced to examine the morning's
mail. He was midway in the assortment of the firm's sample line when Abe
approached him half an hour later.
"Mawruss," he said, "do me the favour. You speak to the feller and see
what you can do. After all, a couple hundred dollars wouldn't break us."
"I'm satisfied," Morris replied, and he walked immediately to the
cutting room.
"What's the matter, Henry, I hear you are leaving us?" he began.
Henry straightened up from the layer of cloth that was spread before him
on the cutting table and passed one hand through his bushy black hair.
"I gotta no keek, Mr. Perlmutter," he said. "Just for my contract is up,
so I go. That's all. I like-a da job first-class. Mr. Potash ees ver'
good man. Mr. Perlmutter ees too."
"Then why don't you stay with us?" Morris asked, and Enrico Simonetti
heaved a great sigh.
"I like-a da job first-class, Mr. Perlmutter, I gotta no keek," he
declared; "but I can no work. I am seek."
"Sick!" Morris exclaimed; "well, why didn't you tell us then? We'd only
be too glad to let you go away for a couple of weeks, Henry."
Enrico sighed even more deeply.
"Ees not a seekness for two weeks, Mr. Perlmutter," he said. "I am seek
just for see my mudder. Ees old woman--my mudder, Mr. Perlmutter."
Enrico's large brown eyes grew moist as he proceeded.
"Yes, I am a-seek," he went on. "I am a-seek just for see Ischia,
Posilipo, Capri, Mr. Perlmutter. You know I am a-seek for see
_aranci_--oranges grown on a tree. I am a-seek just for see my own
ceet-a, Napoli. Yes, Mr. Perlmutter, I am a-ver' seek."
He sat down on a stool and bowed his face in his hands, while his
shoulders heaved up and down in the emotion of nostalgia.
"Think it over, Henry," Morris said huskily, and departed on tiptoe. He
returned at once to the assorting of the sample line, nor did he look up
when Abe came toward him a few minutes afterward.
"Well, Mawruss," Abe said, "what did he say?"
"He didn't say nothing," Morris replied.
"Why not?" Abe continued. "Didn't he think two hundred was enough?"
"I didn't mention the two hundred to him at all," Morris answered,
"because it wouldn't be no use. You couldn't keep that feller from going
back to the old country, not if you would put him into jail even. He'd
break out, Abe, believe me."
Abe nodded slowly.
"Well, that's the way it goes, Mawruss," he said bitterly, as Enrico
walked toward them from the cutting room.
"Mr. Potash," he said, "ascuse me, you geev-a me now leetla time for
going downtown just for same like I tell-a you dis morning?"
"Go ahead, Henry," Morris replied.
"You notta mad at me, Mr. Perlmutter?" Enrico asked anxiously.
"Why should I got to be mad at you, Henry?" Morris rejoined. "If I would
feel the way you do, Henry, me, I wouldn't of waited for my contract to
be up even."
"Ain't that a fine way for you to talk, Mawruss?" Abe said after Enrico
had gone. "You would think you would be glad to get rid of the feller
right in the middle of the busy season."
Morris shrugged.
"I don't care if I would got to jump right in and work till twelve
o'clock every night, Abe," he declared. "I would tell him to go home to
the old country if I would got to pay for the ticket myself."
Abe thrust his hands into his trousers pockets and started to walk
gloomily away.
"Furthermore, Abe, if you want to go out for your lunch, Abe," Morris
concluded, "now is the time, because as I told you before, Abe, I got to
go on the court at two o'clock."
"Sure you told me that before, Mawruss," Abe growled, as he put on his
hat and coat; "and when a feller goes to work and deliberately fixes
things so he has got to go on a court, Mawruss, d'ye know the next place
he would go?"
He paused for a retort; but, as Morris made no sign, Abe supplied his
own answer.
"A lunatic asylum," he said, and a minute later the elevator door
clanged behind him.
For almost an hour longer Morris busied himself with the assortment of
the sample line, and he had about concluded his task when a great
wailing noise came from the cutting room. He jumped to his feet and ran
hurriedly to the scene of the uproar. There he found Enrico Simonetti
seated on a stool, clutching his hair with both hands, while around him
stood a group of his assistants, voicing their anguish like a pack of
foxhounds.
"_Koosh!_" Morris cried. "What is the trouble here?"
The wailing ceased, but Enrico remained seated, his hands still
clutching his bushy hair, while his large brown eyes stared blankly from
a face as white as a pierrot.
"What's the matter?" Morris repeated.
"His bank busted on him," said Nathan Schenkman, the shipping clerk.
"His bank!" Morris cried. "What bank?"
"It ain't a regular bank," Nathan explained. "He is giving his money to
an Italiener which he calls himself a banker, Mr. Perlmutter; and to-day
when he is going there to get him money the feller's store is locked.
Nobody knows where he went to at all. The clerks also is gone."
"Is that right, Henry?" Morris asked.
Enrico nodded his head without removing his hands from his hair.
"There is a big crowd of loafers around the store," Nathan continued,
"which they are saying they would kill the feller if they get him, so
Henry comes back here on account he ain't that kind, Mr. Perlmutter.
Henry is a decent feller, Mr. Perlmutter."
Morris looked pityingly at his cutter, who continued to stare at the
floor in stony despair.
"Might you could do something to get him his money back maybe, Mr.
Perlmutter?" Nathan said.
"I would see when my partner comes in from lunch," Morris replied, and
as he turned to leave the cutting room Abe's bulky form blocked the
doorway. Morris waved him back, and Abe tiptoed to the front of the
showroom followed by Morris.
"What's the trouble?" Abe asked immediately.
"Trouble enough," Morris declared. "Henry's bank busted on him."
"What!" Abe cried, and Morris repeated the information.
"Then he wouldn't leave us at all," Abe said, and Morris nodded sadly.
"Ain't it terrible?" he commented.
"Terrible?" Abe asked. "What d'ye mean--terrible? Is it so terrible that
we wouldn't got to lose our designer right in the middle of the busy
season?"
"I don't mean us, Abe," Morris said. "I mean for Henry."
"Henry neither," Abe rejoined. "Henry would still got his job with two
hundred dollars a year raise."
"And a bonus of two hundred dollars," Morris added.
"A bonus of nothing!" Abe almost shouted. "Do you mean to told me you
would pay Henry a bonus of two hundred dollars now that he must got to
stay on with us?"
"I sure do," Morris declared fiercely; "and furthermore, Abe, if you
don't want to pay it I would from my own pocket, and I'm going right in
to tell him about it now."
He walked away to the cutting room, and in less than five minutes Abe
repented his parsimony. He went on tiptoe to the door of the cutting
room, where Morris leaned over Enrico, uttering words of consolation and
advice.
"Mawruss," Abe hissed, "make it three hundred, the bonus."
Morris nodded.
"And, Mawruss," Abe went on, "it's pretty near quarter of two. Ain't you
going up there at all?"
* * * * *
"I should never walk another step if you didn't say two o'clock," Morris
Perlmutter protested to Philip Sholy as they hastened up the stairway in
Jefferson Market Police Court.
"Never mind what I said," Sholy cried. "It's now anyhow quarter past
two, and that dago has got his wife and servant girl and two clerks
waiting in court since twelve o'clock. Eichendorfer and Baskof have been
here since one o'clock."
"Say, listen here, Sholy," Morris said, as they panted up the last
flight, "I came just as soon as I could, and I couldn't come no sooner."
"Hats off!" the policeman at the door shouted, as Morris walked up the
aisle with his attorney, and a moment later they passed into the
enclosure for counsel.
"My client and his witnesses have been here since twelve o'clock," a
lawyer was explaining while Morris sat down, "and in the meantime his
place of business has been closed."
At this juncture the client in question caught sight of Morris and
ripped out so strong an Italian expletive that the court interpreter
nearly swooned.
"What business is he in?" the magistrate asked.
"He's in the banking business on Mulberry Street," the lawyer continued,
"and it's impossible to say what harm all this may do him."
"Call the case again," the magistrate said.
"Witnesses in the case of Giuseppe Caraccioli please step forward," the
interpreter announced, and the policeman in the rear of the courtroom
repeated the injunction to the loungers in the stairway.
"Guy-seppy Scratch-oly," he bellowed, and Morris heard him from his seat
in the enclosure for counsel. He jumped to his feet and made for the
gate.
"Where are you going?" Sholy demanded, grabbing him by the coat.
"Leggo my coat!" Morris cried, and the next moment he was taking the
stairs three at a jump. Nor had his excitement abated when he burst into
his cutting room half an hour later.
"Henry," he gasped, "if I would get your money back for you would you
stick out the busy season for us?"
Enrico was chalking designs on a piece of pattern paper when Morris
entered. Beyond a slight pallor he appeared to be quite resigned to his
loss, but at his employer's words he flushed vividly and clutched again
at his hair.
"Leave your hair alone and listen to me," Morris commented.
"Sure, sure," Enrico said tremulously, "I leesten, Mr. Perlmutt."
"Did you hear what I said?" Morris went on. "If I can get your money
back for you will you stay on here till the busy season is over?"
"Sure," Enrico cried; "sure. I notta geevadam how long I stay, you getta
my mon', Mr. Perlmutt. I stay here one, two, t'ree years."
"All right," Morris said; "put on your coat and go back to Mulberry
Street. Your banker will of opened up again by the time you get there."
* * * * *
Ten days afterward Abe and Morris sat in the showroom.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
MAN PROPOSES
"Ain't it terrible a strong, healthy young feller should go off like
that?" Abe Potash remarked, as he and his partner sat in their showroom
one spring morning. "I give you my word I was sitting over in
Hammersmith's so close to him as I am to you, Mawruss, when it
happened."
"Was there much excitement?" Morris asked.
"I bet yer was there excitement!" Abe exclaimed. "Hammersmith sends
across the street for a doctor, and you ought to seen Leon Sammet the
way he acted. 'For Gawd's sake, doctor,' he says, 'couldn't you do
nothing for him?' he says. 'He's got a wife and family,' he says, 'and
we shipped him two thousand dollars goods only last Saturday.'"
"Did they?" Morris asked.
"How should I know?" Abe said. "Sammet is such a liar, Mawruss, he
couldn't tell the truth no matter how surprised he would be. But one
thing is sure, Mawruss--Gladstein did owe Sammet Brothers for a big bill
of goods and the widder paid them out of the insurance."
"Could she do that when the feller leaves a family, Abe?" Morris
inquired.