JANUARY 1825-JULY 1827
At the beginning of 1825 Mrs. Shelley's worldly affairs were looking
somewhat more hopeful. The following extract is from a letter to Miss
Curran, dated 2d January--
... I have now better prospects than I had, or rather, a better
reality, for my prospects are sufficiently misty. I receive now L200 a
year from my Father-in-law, but this in so strange and embarrassed a
manner that, as yet, I hardly know what to make of it. I do not
believe, however, that he would object to my going abroad, as I
daresay he considers that the first step towards kingdom come,
whither, doubtless, he prays that an interloper like me may speedily
be removed. I talk, therefore, of going next autumn, and shall be
grateful to any power, divine or human, that assists me to leave this
desert country. Mine I cannot call it; it is too unkind to me.
What you say of my Shelley's picture is beyond words interesting to
me. How good you are! Send it, I pray you, for perhaps I cannot come,
and, at least, it would be a blessing to receive it a few months
earlier. I am afraid you can do nothing about the cameo. As you say,
it were worth nothing, unless like; but I fancied that it might be
accomplished under your directions. Would it be asking too much to
lend me the copy you took of my darling William's portrait, since
mine is somewhat injured? But from both together I could get a nice
copy made.
You may imagine that I see few people, so far from the centre of
bustling London; but, in truth, I found that even in town, poor,
undinner-giving as I was, I could not dream of society. It was a great
confinement for Percy, and I could not write in the midst of smoke,
noise, and streets. I live here very quietly, going once a week to the
Strand. My chief dependence for society is on Mrs. Williams, who lives
at no great distance. As to theatres, etc., how can a "lone woman"
think of such things? No; the pleasures and luxuries of life await me
in divine Italy; but here, privation, solitude, and desertion are my
portion. What a change for me! But I must not think of that. I
contrive to live on as I am; but to recur to the past and compare it
with the present is to deluge me in grief and tears.
My Boy is well; a fine tall fellow, and as good as I can possibly
expect; he is improved in looks since he came here. Clare is in Moscow
still, not very pleasantly situated; but she is in a situation, and
being now well in health, waits with more patience for better times.
The Godwins go on as usual. My Father, though harassed, is in good
health, and is employed in the second volume of the _Commonwealth_.
The weather here is astonishingly mild, but the rain continual; half
England is under water, and the damage done at seaports from storms
incalculable. In Rome, doubtless, it has been different. Rome, dear
name! I cannot tell why, but to me there is something enchanting in
that spot. I have another friend there, the Countess Guiccioli, now
unhappy and mournful from the death of Lord Byron. Poor girl! I
sincerely pity her, for she truly loved him, and I cannot think that
she can endure an Italian after him. You have there also a Mr. Taaffe,
a countryman of yours, who translates Dante, and rides fine horses
that perpetually throw him. He knew us all very well.
The English have had many a dose of scandal. First poor dear Lord
Byron, from whom, now gone, many a poor devil of an author is now
fearless of punishment, then Mr. Fauntleroy, then Miss Foote; these
are now dying away. The fame of Mr. Fauntleroy, indeed, has not
survived him; that of Lord Byron bursts forth every now and then
afresh; whilst Miss Foote smokes most dismally still. Then we have had
our quantum of fires and misery, and the poor exiled Italians and
Spaniards have added famine to the list of evils. A subscription,
highly honourable to the poor and middle classes who subscribed their
mite, has relieved them.
Will you write soon? How much delight I anticipate this spring on the
arrival of the picture! In all thankfulness, faithfully yours,
MARY W. SHELLEY.
The increase of allowance, from L100 to L200, had not been actually
granted at the beginning of the year, but it appeared so probable an event
that, thanks partly to the good offices of Mr. Peacock, Sir Timothy's
lawyers agreed, while the matter was pending, to advance Mrs. Shelley the
extra L100 on their own responsibility. The concession was not so great as
it looks, for all money allowed to her was only advanced subject to an
agreement that every penny was to be repaid, with interest, to Sir
Timothy's executors at the time when, according to Percy Bysshe Shelley's
will, she should come into the property; and every cheque was endorsed by
her to this effect. But her immediate anxieties were in some measure
relieved by this addition to her income. Not, indeed, that it set her free
from pressing money cares, for the ensuing letter to Leigh Hunt
incidentally shows that her father was a perpetual drain on her
resources, that there was every probability of her having to support him
partly--at times entirely--in the future, and that she was endeavouring,
with Peacock's help, to raise a large sum, on loan, to meet these possible
emergencies.
The main subject of the letter is an article of Hunt's about Shelley, the
proof of which had been sent to Mary to read. It contained, in an extended
form, the substance of that biographical notice, originally intended for a
preface to the volume of Posthumous Poems.
MRS. SHELLEY TO LEIGH HUNT.
_8th April 1825._
MY DEAR HUNT--I have just finished reading your article upon Shelley.
It is with great diffidence that I write to thank you for it, because
perceiving plainly that you think that I have forfeited all claim on
your affection, you may deem my thanks an impertinent intrusion. But
from my heart I thank you. You may imagine that it has moved me
deeply. Of course this very article shows how entirely you have cast
me out from any corner in your affections. And from various
causes--none dishonourable to me--I cannot help wishing that I could
have received your goodwill and kindness, which I prize, and have ever
prized; but you have a feeling, I had almost said a prejudice, against
me, which makes you construe foreign matter into detractation against
me (I allude to the, to me, deeply afflicting idea you got upon some
vague expression communicated to you by your brother), and insensible
to any circumstances that might be pleaded for me. But I will not
dwell on this. The sun shines, and I am striving so hard for a
continuation of the gleams of pleasure that visit my intolerable state
of regret for the loss of beloved companionship during cloudless
days, that I will dash away the springing tears and make one or two
necessary observations on your article.
I have often heard our Shelley relate the story of stabbing an upper
boy with a fork, but never as you relate it. He always described it,
in my hearing, as being an almost involuntary act, done on the spur of
anguish, and that he made the stab as the boy was going out of the
room. Shelley did not allow Harriet half his income. She received L200
a year. Mr. Westbrook had always made his daughter an allowance, even
while she lived with Shelley, which of course was continued to her
after their separation. I think if I were near you, I could readily
persuade you to omit all allusion to Clare. After the death of Lord
Byron, in the thick of memoirs, scandal, and turning up of old
stories, she has never been alluded to, at least in any work I have
seen. You mention (having been obliged to return your MS. to Bowring,
I quote from memory) an article in _Blackwood_, but I hardly think
that this is of date subsequent to our miserable loss. In fact, poor
Clare has been buried in entire oblivion, and to bring her from this,
even for the sake of defending her, would, I am sure, pain her
greatly, and do her mischief. Would you permit this part to be erased?
I have, without waiting to ask your leave, requested Messrs. Bowring
to leave out your mention that the remains of dearest Edward were
brought to England. Jane still possesses this treasure, and has once
or twice been asked by his mother-in-law about it,--once an urn was
sent. Consequently she is very anxious that her secret should be kept,
and has allowed it to be believed that the ashes were deposited with
Shelley's at Rome. Such, my dear Hunt, are all the alterations I have
to suggest, and I lose no time in communicating them to you. They are
too trivial for me to apologise for the liberty, and I hope that you
will agree with me in what I say about Clare--Allegra no more--she at
present absent and forgotten. On Sir Timothy's death she will come in
for a legacy which may enable her to enter into society,--perhaps to
marry, if she wishes it, if the past be forgotten.
I forget whether such things are recorded by "Galignani," or, if
recorded, whether you would have noticed it. My Father's complicated
annoyances, brought to their height by the failure of a very promising
speculation and the loss of an impossible-to-be-lost law-suit, have
ended in a bankruptcy, the various acts of which drama are now in
progress; that over, nothing will be left to him but his pen and me.
He is so full of his _Commonwealth_ that in the midst of every anxiety
he writes every day now, and in a month or two will have completed the
second volume, and I am employed in raising money necessary for my
maintenance, and in which he must participate. This will drain me
pretty dry for the present, but (as the old women say) if I live, I
shall have more than enough for him and me, and recur, at least to
some part of my ancient style of life, and feel of some value to
others. Do not, however, mistake my phraseology; I shall not live with
my Father, but return to Italy and economise, the moment God and Mr.
Whitton will permit. My Percy is quite well, and has exchanged his
constant winter occupation of drawing for playing in the fields (which
are now useful as well as ornamental), flying kites, gardening, etc. I
bask in the sun on the grass reading Virgil, that is, my beloved
_Georgics_ and Lord Shaftesbury's _Characteristics_. I begin to live
again, and as the maids of Greece sang joyous hymns on the revival of
Adonis, does my spirit lift itself in delightful thanksgiving on the
awakening of nature.
Lamb is superannuated--do you understand? as Madame says. He has left
the India House on two-thirds of his income, and become a gentleman at
large--a delightful consummation. What a strange taste it is that
confines him to a view of the New River, with houses opposite, in
Islington! I saw the Novellos the other day. Mary and her new babe are
well; he, Vincent all over, fat and flourishing moreover, and she
dolorous that it should be her fate to add more than her share to the
population of the world. How are all yours--Henry and the rest? Percy
still remembers him, though occupied by new friendships and the
feelings incident to his state of matrimony, having taken for better
and worse to wife Mrs. Williams' little girl.
I suppose you will receive with these letters Bessy's new book, which
she has done very well indeed, and forms with the other a delightful
prize for plant and flower worshippers, those favourites of God, which
enjoy beauty unequalled and the tranquil pleasures of growth and life,
bestowing incalculable pleasure, and never giving or receiving pain.
Have you seen Hazlitt's notes of his travels? He is going over the
same road that I have travelled twice. He surprised me by calling the
road from Susa to Turin dull; there, where the Alps sink into low
mountains and romantic hills, topped by ruined castles, watered by
brawling streams, clothed by magnificent walnut trees; there, where I
wrote to you in a fit of enchantment, exalted by the splendid scene;
but I remembered, first, that he travelled in winter, when snow covers
all; and, besides, he went from what I approached, and looked at the
plain of Lombardy with the back of the diligence between him and the
loveliest scene in nature; so much can _relation_ alter circumstances.
Clare is still, I believe, at Moscow. When I return to Italy I shall
endeavour to enable her to go thither also. I shall not come without
my Jane, who is now necessary to my existence almost. She has recourse
to the cultivation of her mind, and amiable and dear as she ever was,
she is in every way improved and become more valuable.
Trelawny is in the cave with Ulysses, not in Polypheme's cave, but in
a vast cavern of Parnassus; inaccessible and healthy and safe, but cut
off from the rest of the world. Trelawny has attached himself to the
part of Ulysses, a savage chieftain, without any plan but personal
independence and opposition to the Government. Trelawny calls him a
hero. Ulysses speaks a word or two of French; Trelawny, no Greek!
Pierino has returned to Greece.
Horace Smith has returned with his diminished family (little Horace is
dead). He already finds London too expensive, and they are about to
migrate to Tunbridge Wells. He is very kind to me.
I long to hear from you, and I am more tenderly attached to you and
yours than you imagine; love me a little, and make Marianne love me,
as truly I think she does. Am I mistaken, Polly?--Your affectionate
and obliged,
MARY W. SHELLEY.
Outwardly, this year was uneventful. Mary was busily working at her novel,
_The Last Man_. The occupation was good for her, and perhaps it was no bad
thing that Necessity should stand at her elbow to stimulate her to
exertion when her interest and energy flagged. For, in spite of her utmost
efforts to the contrary, her heart and spirit were often faint at the
prospect of an arduous and lonely life. And when, in early autumn,
Shelley's portrait was at last sent to her by Miss Curran, the sight of it
brought back the sense of what she had lost, and revived in all its
irrecoverable bitterness that past happy time, than to remember which in
misery there is no greater sorrow.
_Journal, September 17_ (1825).--Thy picture is come, my only one!
Thine those speaking eyes, that animated look; unlike aught earthly
wert thou ever, and art now!
If thou hadst still lived, how different had been my life and
feelings!
Thou art near to guard and save me, angelic one! Thy divine glance
will be my protection and defence. I was not worthy of thee, and thou
hast left me; yet that dear look assures me that thou wert mine, and
recalls and narrates to my backward-looking mind a long tale of love
and happiness.
My head aches. My heart--my hapless heart--is deluged in bitterness.
Great God! if there be any pity for human suffering, tell me what I am
to do. I strive to study, I strive to write, but I cannot live
without loving and being loved, without sympathy; if this is denied to
me I must die. Would that the hour were come!
On the same day when Mary penned these melancholy lines, Trelawny was
writing to her from Cephalonia.
He had been treacherously shot by an inmate of his mountain fortress, an
Englishman newly arrived, whom he had welcomed as a guest. The true
instigator of the crime was one Fenton, a Scotchman, who in the guise of a
volunteer had ostensibly served under Trelawny for a twelvemonth past, and
who by his capability and apparent zeal had so won his confidence as to be
entrusted with secret missions. He was, in fact, an emissary of the Greek
Government, foisted on Trelawny at Missolonghi to act as a spy on
Odysseus, the insurgent Greek chieftain.
Through his machinations Odysseus was betrayed and murdered, and Trelawny
narrowly escaped death.
TRELAWNY TO MRS. SHELLEY.
CEPHALONIA, _17th September 1825_.
DEAR MARY--I have just escaped from Greece and landed here, in the
hopes of patching up my broken frame and shattered constitution. Two
musket balls, fired at the distance of two paces, struck me and passed
through my framework, which damn'd near finished me; but 'tis a long
story, and my writing arm is rendered unfit for service, and I am yet
unpractised with the left. But a friend of mine here, a Major Bacon,
is on his way to England, and will enlighten you as to me. I shall be
confined here some time. Write to me then at this place. I need rest
and quiet, for I am shook to the foundation. Love to Jane and Clare,
and believe me still your devoted friend,
EDWARD TRELAWNY.
It would seem that this letter was many months in reaching Mary, for in
February 1826 she was writing to him in these terms--
I hear at last that Mr. Hodges has letters for me, and that prevents a
thousand things I was about to say concerning the pain your very long
silence had occasioned me. Consider, dear friend, that your last was
in April, so that nearly a year has gone by, and not only did I not
hear _from_ you, but until the arrival of Mr. Hodges, many months had
elapsed since I had heard of you.
Sometimes I flattered myself that the foundations of my little
habitation would have been shaken by a "ship Shelley ahoy" that even
Jane, distant a mile, would have heard. That dear hope lost, I feared
a thousand things.
Hamilton Browne's illness, the death of many English, the return of
every other from Greece, filled me with gloomy apprehensions.
But you live,--what kind of life your letters will, I trust, inform
me,--what possible kind of life in a cavern surrounded by
precipices,--inaccessible! All this will satisfy your craving
imagination. The friendship you have for Odysseus, does that satisfy
your warm heart?... I gather from your last letter and other
intelligence that you think of marrying the daughter of your favourite
chief, and thus will renounce England and even the English for ever.
And yet,--no! you love some of us, I am sure, too much to forget us,
even if you neglect us for a while; but truly, I long for your
letters, which will tell all. And remember, dear friend, it is about
yourself I am anxious. Of Greece I read in the papers. I see many
informants, but I can learn your actions, hopes, and, above all
valuable to me, the continuation of your affection for me, from your
letters only.
* * * * *
_27th February._
I now close my letter--I have not yet received yours.
Last night Jane and I went with Gamba and my Father to see Kean in
_Othello_. This play, as you may guess, reminded us of you. Do you
remember, when delivering the killing news, you awoke Jane, as Othello
awakens Desdemona from her sleep on the sofa? Kean, abominably
supported, acted divinely; put as he is on his mettle by recent events
and a full house and applause, which he deserved, his farewell is the
most pathetic piece of acting to be imagined. Yet, my dear friend, I
wish we had seen it represented as was talked of at Pisa. Iago would
never have found a better representative than that strange and
wondrous creature whom one regrets daily more,--for who here can equal
him? Adieu, dear Trelawny, take care of yourself, and come and visit
us as soon as you can escape from the sorceries of Ulysses.--In all
truth, yours affectionately,
M. W. S.
At Pisa, 1822, Lord Byron talked vehemently of our getting up a play
in his great hall at the Lanfranchi; it was to be _Othello_. He cast
the characters thus: Byron, Iago; Trelawny, Othello; Williams, Cassio;
Medwin, Roderigo; Mrs. Shelley, Desdemona; Mrs. Williams, Emilia. "Who
is to be our audience?" I asked. "All Pisa," he rejoined. He recited a
great portion of his part with great gusto; it exactly suited him,--he
looked it, too.
All this time Miss Clairmont was pursuing her vocation as a governess in
Russia, and many interesting glimpses into Russian family and social life
are afforded by her letters to Mrs. Shelley and Mrs. Williams. She was a
voluminous letter-writer, and in these characteristic epistles she
unconsciously paints, as no other hand could have done, a vivid portrait
of herself. We can see her, with all her vivacity, versatility, and
resource, her great cleverness,--never at a loss for a word, an excuse, or
a good story,--her indefatigable energy, her shifting moods and wild
caprices, the bewildering activity of her restless brain, and the
astonishing facility with which she transferred to paper all her passing
impressions. In narration, in description, in panegyric, and in complaint
she is equally fluent. Unimpeachably correct as her conduct always was
after her one miserable adventure, she had, from first to last, an innate
affinity for anything in the shape of social gossip and scandal; her
really generous impulses were combined with the worldliest of worldly
wisdom, and the whole tinctured with the highest of high-flown sentiment.
Fill in the few details wanting, the flat, sleek, black hair,--eyes so
black that the pupil was hardly to be distinguished from the iris (eyes
which seemed unmistakably to indicate an admixture of Portuguese, if not
of African, blood in her descent),--a complexion which may in girlhood
have been olive, but in later life was sallow,--features not beautiful,
and depending on expression for any charm they might have,--and she stands
before the reader, the unmanageable, amusing, runaway schoolgirl; a
stumbling-block first, then a bugbear, to Byron; a curse, which he
persistently treated as a blessing, to Shelley; a thorn in the side of
Mary and of every one who ever was responsible for her; yet liked by her
acquaintance, admired in society, commiserated by her early friends, and
regarded with well-deserved affection and gratitude by many of her pupils
and _proteges_.
CLARE TO JANE.
MOSCOW, _27th October 1825_.
MY DEAREST JANE--It is now so long since I heard from you that I begin
to think you have quite forgotten me. I wrote twice to you during the
summer; both letters went by private hand, and to neither of which
have I received your answer. I enclosed also a letter or letters for
Trelawny, and I hope very much you have received them. Whenever some
time elapses without hearing from England, then I begin to grow
miserable with fear. In a letter I received from Mary in the autumn,
she mentions the approaching return of the Hunts from Italy, and I
console myself with believing that you are both so much taken up with
them that you have delayed from day to day to write to me. Be that as
it may, I have never been in greater need of your letters than for
these last two months, for I have been truly wretched. To convince you
that I am not given to fret for trifles, I will tell you how they have
been passed. I spent a very quiet time, if not a very agreeable one,
until the 12th of August; then a French newspaper fell into my hands,
in which it mentioned that Trelawny had been dangerously wounded in a
duel on the 13th of June. You who have known the misery of anxiety for
the safety and wellbeing of those dear to us may imagine what I
suffered. At last a letter from Mary came, under date of 26th of July,
not mentioning a word of this, and I allowed myself to hope that it
was not true, because certainly she would have heard of it by the time
she wrote. Then, a week after, another newspaper mentioned his being
recovered. This was scarcely passed when our two children fell ill;
one got better, but the other, my pupil, a little girl of six years
and a half old, died. I was truly wretched at her loss, and our whole
house was a scene of sorrow and confusion, that can only happen in a
savage country, where a disciplined temper is utterly unknown. We came
to town, and directly the little boy fell sick again of a putrid
fever, from which he was in imminent danger for some time. At last
after nights and days of breathless anxiety he did recover. By the
death of the little girl, I became of little or no use in the house,
and the thought of again entering a new house, and having to learn new
dispositions, was quite abhorrent to me. Nothing is so cruel as to
change from house to house and be perpetually surrounded by strangers;
one feels so forlorn, so utterly alone, that I could not have the
courage to begin the career over again; so I settled to remain in the
same house, to continue the boy's English, and to give lessons
out-of-doors. I do not know whether my plan will succeed yet, but, at
any rate, I am bent upon trying it. It is not very agreeable to walk
about in the snow and in a cold of twenty, sometimes thirty degrees;
but anything is better than being a governess in the common run of
Moscow houses. But you have not yet heard my greatest sorrow, and
which I think might well have been spared. I had one Englishwoman
here, to whom I was attached--a woman of the most generous heart, and
whom misfortune, perhaps imprudence, had driven to Russia. She thought
with me that nothing can equal the misery of our situation, and
accordingly she went last spring to Odessa, hoping to find some means
of establishing a boarding-house in order to have a home. If it
succeeded, she was to have sent for me; but, however, she wrote to me
that, after well considering everything, she found such a plan would
not succeed, and that I might expect her shortly in Moscow, to resume
her old manner of life. I expected her arrival daily, and began to
grow uneasy, and at length some one wrote to another acquaintance of
hers here that she had destroyed herself. I, who knew her thoughts,
have no doubt the horror of entering again as governess made her
resolve upon this as the only means to escape it. You see, dearest
Jane, whether these last two months have been fruitful in woes. I
cannot tell you what a consolation it would have been to have received
a letter from you whilst I have been suffering under such extreme
melancholy. The only amelioration in my present situation is that I
can withdraw to my room and be much more alone than I could formerly,
and this solitude is so friendly to my nature that it has been my only
comfort. I have heard all about the change in my mother's situation,
and am truly glad of it. I am sure she will be much better off than
she was before. As for Mary, her affairs seem inexplicable. Nothing
can ever persuade me that a will can dispose of estates which the
maker of it never possessed. Do clear up this mystery to me. What a
strange way of thinking must that be which can rely on such a hope!
Yet my brother, my mother, and Mary never cease telling me that one
day I shall be free, and the state of doubt, the contradiction between
their assertions and my intimate persuasion of the contrary, that
awakens in my mind, is very painful. You are almost quite silent upon
the subject, but I wish, my dear Jane, that you would answer me the
following questions. Has any professional man ever been consulted on
the subject? What is Hogg's opinion? Why in this particular case
should the law be set aside, which says that no man can dispose of
what he has never possessed? Do have the goodness to ask these
questions very clearly and to give me the answers, which no one has
ever done yet. They simply tell me, "Whitton has come forward,"
"Whitton thinks the will valid," etc. etc., all of which cannot prove
to me that it is so. I know you will excuse my giving you so much
trouble, but really when you consider the painful uncertainty which
hangs on my mind, you will think it very natural that I should wish to
know the reasons of what is asserted to me. To say the truth, I daily
grow more indifferent about the issue of the affair. The time is past
when independence would have been an object of my desires, and I am
now old enough to know that misery is the universal malady of the
human race, and that there is no escaping from it, except by a
philosophic indifference to all external circumstances, and by a
disciplined mind completely absorbed in intellectual subjects. I
fashion my life accordingly to this, and I often enjoy moments of
serenest calm, which I owe to this way of thinking. Do not mistake and
think that I am indifferent to seeing you again; so far from this, I
dream of this as one dreams of Paradise after death, as a thing of
another world, and not to be obtained here. It would be too much
happiness for me to venture to hope it. I endeavour often to imagine
the circle in which you live, but it is impossible, and I think it
would be equally difficult for you to picture to yourself my mode of
life. I often think what in the world Mary or Jane would do in the
dull routine I tread; no talk of public affairs, no talk of books, no
subject do I ever hear of except cards, eating, and the different
manner of managing slaves. Now and then some heroic young man devotes
himself like a second Marcus Curtius to the public good, and, in order
to give the good ladies of Moscow something new to talk of, rouses
them from their lethargic gossipings by getting himself shot in a
duel; or some governess disputes with the mother of her pupils, and
what they both said goes over the town. Mary mentioned in her last
that she thought it very likely you might both go to Paris. I hope you
may be there, for I am sure you would find the mode of life more
cheerful than London. As I have told you so many of my sorrows, I must
tell you the only good piece of news I have to communicate. I have
lately made acquaintance with a German gentleman, who is a great
resource to me. In such a country as Russia, where nothing but
ignorant people are to be met, a cultivated mind is the greatest
treasure. His society recalls our former circle, for he is well versed
in ancient and modern literature, and has the same noble, enlarged
way of thinking. You may imagine how delighted he was to find me so
different from everything around him, and capable of understanding
what has been so long sealed up in his mind as treasures too precious
to be wasted on the coarse Russian soil. I talk to you thus freely
about him, because I know you will not believe that I am in love, or
that I have any other feeling than a most sincere and steady
friendship for him. What you felt for Shelley I feel for him. I feel
it also my duty to tell you I have a real friend, because, in case of
sickness or death happening to me, you would at least feel the
consolation of knowing that I had not died in the hands of strangers.
I talk to him very often of you and Mary, until his desire to see you
becomes quite a passion. He is, like all Germans, very sentimental, a
very sweet temper, and uncommonly generous. His attachment to me is
extreme, but I have taken the very greatest care to explain to him
that I cannot return it in the same degree. This does not make him
unhappy, and therefore our friendship is of the utmost importance to
both. I hope, my dear Jane, that you will one day see him, and that
both you and Mary may find such an agreeable friend in him as I have
had. I must now turn from this subject to speak of Trelawny, which
comes naturally into my mind with the idea of friendship; you cannot
think how uneasy I am at not hearing from him. I am not afraid of his
friendship growing cold for me, for I am sure he is unchangeable on
that point, but I am afraid for his happiness and safety. Is it true
that his friend Ulysses is dead? and if so, do pray write to him and
prevail upon him to return. I should be at ease if I were to know him
near you and Mary. Do think if you can do anything to draw him to you,
my dearest Jane. It would render me the happiest of human beings to
know him in the hands of two such friends. If this could be, how hard
I should work to gain a little independence here, and return perhaps
in ten years and live with you. As yet I have done nothing,
notwithstanding my utmost exertions, towards such a plan, but I am
turning over every possible means in my brain for devising some
scheme to get money, and perhaps I may. That is my reason for staying
in Russia, because there is no country so favourable to foreigners.
Pray, my dear Jane, do write to me the moment you receive this, and
answer very particularly the questions I have asked you. I have filled
this whole letter, do you the same in your answer, and tell me every
particular about Percy, Neddy, and Dina; they little guess how warm a
friend they have in this distant land, who thinks perpetually of them,
and wishes for nothing so much as to see them and to play with them.
Give my love to Mary. I will write soon again to her. In the meantime
do some of you pray write. These horrid long winters, and the sky,
which is from month to month of the darkest dun colour, need some news
from you to render life supportable. Kiss all the dear children for
me, and tell me everything about them.--Ever your affectionate friend,
CLARE.
Pray beg Mary to tell my mother that I wrote to her on or about the
22d of August; has she had this letter? and do tell me in yours what
you know of her. I have just received your letter of the 3d of
September, for which I thank you most cordially. Thank heaven, you are
all well! What you say of Trelawny distresses me, as it seems to me
that you are unwilling to say what you have heard, as it is of a
disagreeable nature. You could do me a great benefit if you could make
yourself mistress of the Logier's system of teaching music, and
communicate it to me in its smallest details. I am sure it would take
here. Do, pray, make serious inquiries of some one who has been taught
by him. If any one would undertake to write me a very circumstantial
account of his method, I would cheerfully pay them. It might be the
means of my making a small independence here, and then I could join
you soon in Italy without fear for the future. Do think seriously of
this, my dear Jane, and do not take it into your head that it is an
idle project, for it would be of the greatest use to me. As to your
admirer, I think he is mad, and his society, which would otherwise be
a relief, must now be a burthen. You are very right in saying you
only find solace in mental occupation; it is the only thing that saves
me from such a depression of spirits taking hold of me when I have an
instant to reflect upon the past that I am ready for any rash act; but
I am occupied from 6 in the morning until 10 at night, and then am so
worn out I have no time for thinking. Once more farewell. My address
is--Chez Monsieur Lenhold, Marchand de Musique, a Moscow.
_The Last Man_, Mrs. Shelley's third novel, was published early in 1826.
It differed widely from its predecessors. _Frankenstein_ was an
allegorical romance; _Valperga_ a historical novel, Italian, of the
fifteenth century; the plot of the one depends for its interest chiefly on
incident, that of the other on the development of character, but both have
a definite purpose in the inculcation of certain moral or philosophical
truths. The story of _The Last Man_ is purely romantic and imaginary,
probabilities and possibilities being entirely discarded. Its supposed
events take place in the twenty-first century of our era, when a devouring
plague depopulates by degrees the whole world, until the narrator remains,
to his own belief, the only surviving soul. At the book's conclusion he is
left, in a little boat, coasting around the shores of the sea-washed
countries of the Mediterranean, with the forlorn hope of finding a
companion solitary. He writes the history of his fate and that of his race
on the leaves of trees,--supposed to be discovered and deciphered long
afterwards in the Sibyl's Cave at Baiae,--the world having been (as we
must infer) repeopled by that time. It is not difficult to understand the
kind of fascination this curious, mournful fancy had for Mary in her
solitude. Much other matter is, of course, interwoven with the leading
idea. The characteristics of the hero, Adrian, his benevolence of heart,
his winning aspect, his passion of justice and self-devotion, and his
fervent faith in the possibilities of human nature and the future of the
human race, are unmistakably sketched from Shelley, and the portrait was
at once recognised by Shelley's earliest friend, the value of whose
appreciation was, if anything, enhanced by the fact of the great
unlikeness between his temperament and Shelley's.
T. J. HOGG TO MRS. SHELLEY.
YORK, _22d March 1826_.
MY DEAR MARY--As I am about to send a frank to dearest Jane, I enclose
a note to you to thank you for the pleasure you have given me. I read
your _Last Man_ with an intense interest and not without tears. I
began it at Stamford yesterday morning as soon as it was light; I read
on all day, even during the short time that was allowed us for dinner,
and, if I had not finished it before it was dark, I verily believe
that I should have bought a candle and held it in my hand in the mail.
I think that it is a decided improvement, and that the character of
Adrian is most happy and most just.--I am, dear Mary, yours ever
faithfully,
T. J. HOGG.
The appearance of Mary's novel had for its practical consequence the
stoppage of her supplies. The book was published anonymously, as "by the
author of _Frankenstein_," but Mrs. Shelley's name found its way into some
newspaper notices, and this misdemeanour (for which she was not
responsible) was promptly punished by the suspension of her allowance.
Peacock's good offices were again in request, to try and avert this
misfortune, but it was not at once that he prevailed. He impressed on
Whitton (the solicitor) that the name did not appear in the title-page,
and that its being brought forward at all was the fault of the publisher
and quite contrary to the wishes of the writer, who, solitary and
despondent, could not be reasonably condemned for employing her time
according to her tastes and talents, with a view to bettering her
condition. This Whitton acknowledged, but said, "the name was the matter;
it annoyed Sir Timothy." He would promise nothing, and Peacock could only
assure Mary that he felt little doubt of her getting the money at last,
though she might be punished by a short delay.
It may be assumed that this turned out so. Late in the year, however,
another turn was given to Mary's affairs by the death of Shelley's eldest
boy.
_Journal, September 1826._--Charles Shelley died during this month.
Percy is now Shelley's only son.
Mary's son being now direct heir to the estates, and her own prospects
being materially improved by this fact, she at once thought of others
whom Shelley had meant to benefit by his will, and who, she was resolved,
should not be losers by his early death, if she lived to carry out for him
his unwritten intentions. She did not think, when she wrote to Leigh Hunt
the letter which follows, that nearly twenty years more would elapse
before the will could take effect.
MARY SHELLEY TO LEIGH HUNT.
5 BARTHOLOMEW PLACE, KENTISH TOWN,
_30th October 1826_.
MY DEAR HUNT--Is it, or is it not, right that these few lines should
be addressed to you now? Yet if the subject be one that you may judge
better to have been deferred, set my _delay_ down to the account of
over-zeal in writing to relieve you from a part of the care which I
know is just now oppressing you; too happy I shall be if you permit
any act of mine to have that effect.
I told you long ago that our dear Shelley intended on rewriting his
will to have left you a legacy. I think the sum mentioned was L2000. I
trust that hereafter you will not refuse to consider me your debtor
for this sum merely because I shall be bound to pay it you by the laws
of honour instead of a legal obligation. You would, of course, have
been better pleased to have received it immediately from dear
Shelley's bequest; but as it is well known that he intended to make
such an one, it is in fact the same thing, and so I hope by you to be
considered; besides, your kind heart will receive pleasure from the
knowledge that you are bestowing on me the greatest pleasure I am
capable of receiving. This is no resolution of to-day, but formed from
the moment I knew my situation to be such as it is. I did not mention
it, because it seemed almost like an empty vaunt to talk and resolve
on things so far off. But futurity approaches, and a feeling haunts me
as if this futurity were not far distant. I have spoken vaguely to
you on this subject before, but now, you having had a recent
disappointment, I have thought it as well to inform you in express
terms of the meaning I attached to my expressions. I have as yet made
no will, but in the meantime, if I should chance to die, this present
writing may serve as a legal document to prove that I give and
bequeath to you the sum of L2000 sterling. But I hope we shall both
live, I to acknowledge dear Shelley's intentions, you to honour me so
far as to permit me to be their executor.
I have mentioned this subject to no one, and do not intend; an act is
not aided by words, especially an act unfulfilled, nor does this
letter, methinks, require any answer, at least not till after the
death of Sir Timothy Shelley, when perhaps this explanation would have
come with better grace; but I trust to your kindness to put my writing
now to a good motive.--I am, my dear Hunt, yours affectionately and
obliged,
MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT SHELLEY.
It was admitted by the Shelley family that, Percy being now the heir, some
sort of settlement should be made for his mother, yet for some months
longer nothing was done or arranged. Apparently Mary wrote to Trelawny in
low spirits, and to judge from his reply, her letter found him in little
better plight than herself.
TRELAWNY TO MRS. SHELLEY.
ZANTE, _16th December 1826_.
DEAR MARY--I received your letter the other day, and nothing gives me
greater pleasure than to hear from you, for however assured we are of
a friend's durability of affection, it is soothing to be occasionally
reassured of it. I sympathise in your distresses. I have mine, too, on
the same score--a bountiful will and confined means are a curse, and
often have I execrated my fortunes so ill corresponding with my
wishes. But who can control his fate? Old age and poverty is a
frightful prospect; it makes the heart sick to contemplate, even in
the mind's eye the reality would wring a generous nature till the
heart burst. Poverty is the vampyre which lives on human blood, and
haunts its victims to destruction. Hell can fable no torment exceeding
it, and all the other calamities of human life--wars, pestilence,
fire--cannot compete with it. It is the climax of human ill. You may
be certain that I could not write thus on what I did not feel. I am
glad you say you have better hopes; when things are at the worst, they
say, there is hope. So do I hope. Lord Cochrane and his naval
expedition having so long and unaccountably been kept back, delayed me
here from month to month till the winter has definitively set in, and
I am in no state for a winter's voyage; my body is no longer
weatherproof. But I must as soon as possible get to England, though my
residence there will be transitory. I shall then most probably hurry
on to Italy.
The frigate from America is at last arrived in Greece, but whether
Cochrane is on board of her I know not. With the loss of my friend
Odysseus, my enthusiasm has somewhat abated; besides that I could no
longer act with the prospect of doing service, and toiling in vain is
heartless work. But have I not done so all my life? The affairs of
Greece are so bad that little can be done to make them worse. If
Cochrane comes, and is supported with means sufficient, there is still
room for hope. I am in too melancholy a mood to say more than that,
whatever becomes of me.--I am always your true and affectionate
E. TRELAWNY.
Mary answered him at once, doing and saying, to console him, all that
friendship could.
KENTISH TOWN, _4th March 1827_.
[Direct me at W. Godwin, Esq., 44 Gower Place, Gower Street, London.]
MY DEAR TRELAWNY--Your long silence had instilled into me the delusive
hope that I should hear you sooner than from you. I have been silly
enough sometimes to start at a knock,--at length your letter is come.
[By] that indeed I entertain more reasonable hopes of seeing you. You
will come--Ah, indeed you must; if you are ever the kind-hearted being
you were--you must come to be consoled by my sympathy, exhilarated by
my encouragements, and made happy by my friendship. You are not happy!
Alas! who is that has a noble and generous nature? It is not only, my
noble-hearted friend, that your will is bountiful and your means
small,--were you richer you would still be tormented by ingratitude,
caprice, and change. Yet I say Amen to all your anathema against
poverty, it is beyond measure a torment and despair. I am poor, having
once been richer; I live among the needy, and see only poverty around.
I happen, as has always been my fate, to have formed intimate
friendships with those who are great of soul, generous, and incapable
of valuing money except for the good it may do--and these very people
are all even poorer than myself, is it not hard? But turning to you
who are dearest to me, who of all beings are most liberal, it makes me
truly unhappy to find that you are hard pressed: do not talk of old
age and poverty, both the one and the other are in truth far from
you,--for the one it will be a miracle if you live to grow old,--this
would appear a strange compliment if addressed to another, but you and
I have too much of the pure spirit of fire in our souls to wish to
live till the flickering beam waxes dim;--think then of the few
present years only. I have no doubt you will do your fortunes great
good by coming to this country. A too long absence destroys the
interest that friends take, if they are only friends in the common
acceptation of the word; and your relations ought to be reminded of
you. The great fault to us in this country is its expensiveness, and
the dreadful ills attendant here on poverty; elsewhere, though poor,
you may live--here you are actually driven from life, and though a few
might pity, none would help you were you absolutely starving. You say
you shall stay here but a short time and then go to Italy--alas! alas!
It is impossible in a letter to communicate the exact state of one's
feelings and affairs here--but there is a change at hand--I cannot
guess whether for good or bad as far as regards me. This winter, whose
extreme severity has carried off many old people, confined Sir Tim.
for ten weeks by the gout--but he is recovered. All that time a
settlement for me was delayed, although it was acknowledged that Percy
now being the heir, one ought to be made; at length after much
parading, they have notified to me that I shall receive a magnificent
L250 a year, to be increased next year to L300. But then I am not
permitted to leave this cloudy nook. My desire to get away is
unchanged, and I used to look forward to your return as a period when
I might contrive--but I fear there is no hope for me during Sir T.'s
life. He and his family are now at Brighton. John Shelley, dear S.'s
brother, is about to marry, and talks of calling upon me. I am often
led to reflect in life how people situated in a certain manner with
regard to me might make my life less drear than it is--but it is
always the case that the people that might--won't, and it is a very
great mistake to fancy that they will. Such thoughts make me anxious
to draw tighter the cords of sympathy and friendship which are so much
more real than those of the world's forming in the way of relationship
or connection.
From the ends of the world we were brought together to be friends till
death; separated as we are, this tie still subsists. I do not wonder
that you are out of heart concerning Greece; the mismanagement here is
not less than the misgovernment there, the discord the same, save that
here ink is spilt instead of blood. Lord Cochrane alone can assist
them--but without vessels or money how can he acquire sufficient
power? at any rate except as the Captain of a vessel I do not see what
good you can do them. But the mischief is this,--that while some cold,
unimpressive natures can go to a new country, reside among a few
friends, enter into the interests of an intimate and live as a brother
among them for a time, and then depart, leaving small trace, retaining
none,--as if they had ascended from a bath, they change their garments
and pass on;--while others of subtler nature receive into their very
essences a part of those with whom they associate, and after a while
they become enchained, either for better or worse, and during a series
of years they bear the marks of change and attachment. These natures
indeed are the purest and best, and of such are you, dear friend;
having you once, I ever have you; losing you once, I have lost you for
ever; a riddle this, but true. And so life passes, year is added to
year, the word youth is becoming obsolete, while years bring me no
change for the better. Yet I said, change is at hand--I know it,
though as yet I do not feel it--you will come, in the spring you will
come and add fresh delight for me to the happy change from winter to
summer. I cannot tell what else material is to change, but I feel sure
the year will end differently from its beginning. Jane is quite well,
we talk continually of you, and expect you anxiously. Her fortunes
have been more shifting than mine, and they are about to
conclude,--differently from mine,--but I leave her to say what she
thinks best concerning herself, though probably she will defer the
explanation until your arrival. She is my joy and consolation. I could
never have survived my exile here but for her. Her amiable temper,
cheerfulness, and never ceasing sympathy are all so much necessary
value for one wounded and lost as I.
Come, dear friend, again I read your melancholy sentences and I say,
come! let us try if we can work out good from ill; if I may not be
able to throw a ray of sunshine on your path, at least I will lead you
as best I may through the gloom. Believe me that all that belongs to
you must be dear to me, and that I shall never forget all I owe to
you.
Do you remember those pretty lines of Burns?--
A monarch may forget his crown
That on his head an hour hath been,
A bridegroom may forget his bride
Who was his wedded wife yest'reen,
A mother may forget her child
That smiles so sweetly on her knee,
But I'll remember thee, dear friend,
And all that thou hast done for me.
Such feelings are not the growth of the moment. They must have lived
for years--have flourished in smiles, and retained their freshness
watered by tears; to feel them one must have sailed much of life's
voyage together--have undergone the same perils, and sympathised in
the same fears and griefs; such is our situation; and the heartfelt
and deep-rooted sentiments fill my eyes with tears as I think of you,
dear friend, we shall meet soon. Adieu,
M. S.
... I cannot close this letter without saying a word about dear
Hunt--yet that must be melancholy. To feed nine children is no small
thing. His health has borne up pretty well hitherto, though his
spirits sink. What is it in the soil of this green earth that is so
ill adapted to the best of its sons? He speaks often of you with
affection.
To Edward Trelawny, Esq.,
To the care of Samuel Barff, Esq.,
Zante, The Ionian Isles.
Seal--Judgment of Paris.
Endorsed--Received 10th April 1827.
Change was indeed at hand, though not of a kind that Mary could have
anticipated. The only event in prospect likely to affect her much was a
step shortly to be taken by Mrs. Williams. That intended step, vaguely
foreshadowed in Jane's correspondence, aroused the liveliest curiosity in
Clare Clairmont, as was natural.
MISS CLAIRMONT TO MRS. WILLIAMS.
MY DEAREST JANE--If I have not written to you before, it is owing to
low spirits. I have not been able to take the pen, because it would
have been dipped in too black a melancholy. I am tired of being in
trouble, particularly as it goes on augmenting every day. I have had a
hard struggle with myself lately to get over the temptation I had to
lay down the burthen at once, and be free as spirits are, and leave
this horrid world behind me. In order to let you understand what now
oppresses me, I must tell you my history since I came to Moscow. I
came here quite unknown. I was at first ill treated on that account,
but I soon acquired a great reputation, because all my pupils made
much more progress in whatever they undertook than those of other
people. I had few acquaintances among the English; to these I had
never mentioned a single circumstance of myself or fortunes, but took
care, on the contrary, to appear content and happy, as if I had never
known or seen any other society all my days. I sent you a letter by
Miss F., because I knew your name would excite no suspicions; but it
seems my mother got hold of Miss F., sought her out, and has thereby
done me a most incalculable mischief. Miss F. came back full of my
story here, and though she is very friendly to me, yet others who are
not so have already done me injury. The Professor at the University
here is a man of a good deal of talent, and was in close connection
with Lockhart, the son-in-law of Sir Walter Scott, and all that party;
he has a great deal of friendship for me, because, as he says, very
truly, I am the only person here besides himself who knows how to
speak English. He professes the most rigid principles, and is come to
that age when it is useless to endeavour to change them. I, however,
took care not to get upon the subject of principles, and so he was of
infinite use to me both by counselling and by protecting me with the
weight of his high approbation. You may imagine this man's horror when
he heard who I was; that the charming Miss Clairmont, the model of
good sense, accomplishments, and good taste, was brought, issued from
the very den of freethinkers. I see that he is in a complete puzzle on
my account; he cannot explain to himself how I can be so extremely
delightful, and yet so detestable. The inveteracy of his objections is
shaken. This, however, has not hindered him from doing me serious
mischief. I was to have undertaken this winter the education of an
only daughter, the child of a very rich family where the Professor
reigns despotic, because he always settles every little dispute with
some unintelligible quotation or reference to a Latin or Greek author.
I am extremely interested in the child, he used to say, and no one can
give her the education she ought to have but Miss Clairmont. The
father and the mother have been running after me these years to
persuade me to enter when the child should be old enough. I consented,
when now, all is broken off, because the scruples of my professor do
not allow of it. God knows, he says, what Godwinish principles she
might not instil. You may, therefore, think how teased I have been;
more so from the uncertainty of my position, as I do not know how far
this may extend. If this is only the beginning, what may be the end? I
am not angry with this man, he only acts according to his conscience;
nor am I surprised. I shall never cease feeling and thinking that if I
had my choice, I had rather a thousand times have a child of mine
resigned to an early grave, and lost for ever to me, than have it
brought up in principles I abhor. If you ask me what I shall do, I can
only answer you as did the Princess Mentimiletto, when buried under
the ruins of her villa by an earthquake, "I await my fate in silence."
In the meantime, while the page of fate is unrolling, I feel a secret
agitation which consumes me, the more so for being repressed. I am
fallen again into a bad state of health, but this is habitual to me
upon the recurrence of winter. What torments me the most is the
restraint I am under of always appearing gay in society, which I am
obliged to do to avoid their odious curiosity. Farewell awhile dismay
and terror, and let us turn to love and happiness. Never was
astonishment greater than mine on receiving your letter. I had somehow
imagined to myself that you never would love again, and you may say
what you like, dearest Jane, you won't drive that out of my head.
"Blue Bag" may be a friend to you, but he never can be a lover. A
happy attachment that has seen its end leaves a void that nothing can
fill up; therefore I counsel the timorous and the prudent to take the
greatest care always to have an unhappy attachment, because with it
you can veer about like a weathercock to every point of life. What
would I not give to have an unhappy passion, for then one has full
permission and a perfect excuse to fall into a happy one; one has
something to expect, but a _happy passion_, like death, has _finis_
written in such large characters in its face there is no hoping for
any possibility of a change. You will allow me to talk upon this
subject, for I am unhappily the victim of a _happy passion_. I had
one; like all things perfect in its kind, it was fleeting, and mine
only lasted ten minutes, but these ten minutes have discomposed the
rest of my life. The passion, God knows for what cause, from no faults
of mine, however, disappeared, leaving no trace whatever behind it
except my heart wasted and ruined as if it had been scorched by a
thousand lightnings. You will therefore, I hope, excuse my not
following the advice you give me in your last letter, of falling in
love, and you will readily believe me when I tell you that I am not in
love, as you suspected, with my German friend Hermann. He went away
last spring for five years to the country. I have a great friendship
for him, because he has the most ardent love of all that is good and
beautiful of any one I know. I feel interested for his happiness and
welfare, but he is not the being who could make life feel less a
burthen to me than it does. It would, however, seem that you are a
little happier than you were, therefore I congratulate you on this
change of life. I am delighted that you have some one to watch over
you and guard you from the storms of life. Do pray tell me Blue Bag's
name, (for what is a man without a name?), or else I shall get into
the habit of thinking of him as Blue Bag, and never be able to divest
myself of this disagreeable association all my life. You say Trelawny
is coming home, but you have said so so long, I begin to doubt it. If
he does come, how happy you will be to see him. Happy girl! you have a
great many happinesses. I have written to him many times, but he never
answers my letters; I suppose he does not wish to keep up the
correspondence, and so I have left off. If he comes home I am sure he
will fall ill, because the change of climate is most pernicious to the
health. The first winter I passed in Russia I thought I should have
died, but then a good deal was caused by extreme anxiety. So take care
of Trelawny, and do not let him get his feet wet. You ask me to tell
you every particular of my way of life. For these last six months I
have been tormented to death; I am shut up with five hateful children;
they keep me in a fever from morning till night. If they fall into
their father's or mother's way, and are troublesome, they are whipped;
but the instant they are with me, which is pretty nearly all the day,
they give way to all their violence and love of mischief, because they
are not afraid of my mild disposition. They go on just like people in
a public-house, abusing one another with the most horrid names and
fighting; if I separate them, then they roll on the ground, shrieking
that I have broken their arm, or pretend to fall into convulsions, and
I am such a fool I am frightened. In short, I never saw the evil
spirit so plainly developed. What is worse, I cannot seriously be
angry with them, for I do not know how they can be otherwise with the
education they receive. Everything is a crime; they may neither jump,
nor run, nor laugh. It is now two months they have never been out of
the house, and the only thing they are indulged in is in eating,
drinking, and sleeping, so that I look upon their defects as
proceeding entirely from the pernicious lives they lead. This is a
pretty just picture of all Russian children, because the Russians are
as yet totally ignorant of anything like real education. You may,
therefore, imagine what a life I have been leading. In the summer, and
we had an Italian one, I bore up very well, because we were often in
the garden, but since the return of winter, which always makes me ill,
and their added tiresomeness, I am quite overpowered. The whole winter
long I have a fever, which comes on every evening, and prevents my
sleeping the whole night; sometimes it leaves me for a fortnight, but
then it begins again, but in summer I am as strong and healthy as
possible. The approach of winter fills me with horror, because I know
I have eight long months of suffering and sickness. The only amusement
I have is Sunday evening, to see Miss F. and some others like her, and
the only subject of conversation is to laugh at the Russians, or
dress. My God, what a life! But complaint is useless, and therefore I
shall not indulge in it. I have said, so as those I love live, I will
bear all without a murmur. If ever I am independent, I will instantly
retire to some solitude; I will see no one, not even you nor Mary, and
there I will live until the horrible disgust I feel at all that is
human be somewhat removed by quiet and retirement. My heart is too
full of hatred to be fit for society in its present mood. I am very
sorry for the death of little Charles. The chances for succession are
now so equally balanced--the life of an old man and the life of _one_
young child--that I confess I see less hope than ever of the will's
taking effect. It is frightful for the despairing to have their hopes
suspended thus upon a single hair. Pray do not forget to write to me
when Trelawny is come. How glad I shall be to know he is in England,
and yet how frightened for fear he should catch cold. I wish you would
tell me how you occupy your days; at what hour you do this, and at
what hour that. From 11 till 4 I teach my children, then we dine; at 5
we rise from the table. They have half an hour's dawdling, for play it
cannot be called, as they are in the drawing-room, and then they learn
two hours more. At 8 we drink tea, and then they go to bed, which is
never over till 11, because all must have their hair curled, which
takes up an enormous time.
Since I have written the first part of my letter I have thought over
my affairs. I must go to Petersburgh, because it is quite another town
from Moscow, and being so much more foreign in their manners and ways
of thinking, I shall be less tormented. I have decided to go,
therefore I wish you very much to endeavour to procure me letters of
introduction. If Trelawny comes home, beg him to do so for me,
because, as he will be much in fashion, some of the numerous dear
female friends he will instantly have will do it for him. If I could
have a letter of recommendation, not a letter of introduction, to the
English ambassador or his wife, I should be able to get over the
difficulties which now beset my passage. Do think of this, Jane. My
head is so completely giddy from worry and torment, that I am unable
to think upon my own affairs; only this I know, that I am in a
tottering situation. It is absolutely necessary that I should have
letters of recommendation, and to people high in the world at
Petersburgh, because it is very common in Russia for adventurers, such
as opera dancers too old to dance any more, and milliners, and that
class of women to come here. They are received with open arms by the
Russians, who are very hospitable, and then naturally they betray
themselves by their atrocious conduct, and are thrown off; and I have
known since I have been here several lamentable instances of this, and
I shall be classed with these people if I cannot procure letters to
people whose countenance and protection must refute the possibility of
such a supposition. I must confess to you that my pride never could
stand this, for these adventurers are such detestable people that I
have the utmost horror of them. What a miserable imposture is life,
that such as follow philosophy, nature and truth, should be classed
with the very refuse of mankind; that people who ought to be cited as
models of virtue and self-sacrifice should be trampled under foot with
the dregs of vice. It was not thus in the time of the Greeks; and this
reflection makes me tired of life, for I might have been understood in
the time of Socrates, but never shall be by the moderns. For this
reason I do not wish to live, as I cannot be understood; in order,
therefore, not to be despised, I must renounce all worldly concerns
whatever. I have long done so, and therefore you will not wonder that
I have long since given my parting look to life. Do not be surprised I
am so dull; I am surrounded by difficulties which I am afraid I never
shall get out of, and after so many years of trouble and anguish it is
natural I should wish it were over. Do not, my dearest Jane, mention
to my mother the harm her indiscretion has done, for though I shall
frankly tell her of it, yet it would wound her if she were to know I
had told you, and there is already so much pain in the world it is
frightful to add ever so little to the stock. You can merely say I
have asked for letters of introduction at Petersburgh.
From the time of her first arrival in England after Edward's death, Hogg
had been Jane Williams' persistent, devoted, and long-suffering admirer.
Not many months after receiving Clare's letter, she changed her name and
her abode, and was thenceforward known as Mrs. Hogg. Mary's familiar
intercourse with her might, in any case, have been somewhat checked by
this event, but such a change would have been a small matter compared to
the bitter discovery she was soon to make, that, while accepting her
affection, Jane had never really cared for her; that her feeling had been
of the most superficial sort. Once independent of Mary, and under other
protection, she talked away for the benefit and amusement of other
people,--talked of their past life, prating of her power over Shelley and
his devotion to her,--of Mary's gloom during those sad first weeks at
Lerici,--intimating that jealousy of herself was the cause. Stories which
lost nothing in the telling, wherein Jane Williams figured as a good
angel, while Mary Shelley was made to appear in an unfavourable or even an
absurd light.
Mary had no suspicion, no foreboding of the mine that was preparing to
explode under her feet. She sympathised in her friend's happiness, for
she could not regard it but as happiness for one in Jane's circumstances
to be able to accept the love and protection of a devoted man. She herself
could not do it, but she often felt a wish that she were differently
constituted. She knew it was impossible; but no tinge of envy or
bitterness coloured her words to Trelawny when she wrote to tell him of
Jane's resolution.
... This is to be an eventful summer to us. Janey is writing to you
and will tell her own tale best. The person to whom she unites herself
is one of my oldest friends, the early friend of my own Shelley. It
was he who chose to share the honour, as he generously termed it, of
Shelley's expulsion from Oxford. (And yet he is unlike what you may
conceive to be the ideal of the best friend of Shelley.) He is a man
of talent,--of wit,--he has sensibility and even romance in his
disposition, but his exterior is composed and, at a superficial
glance, cold. He has loved Jane devotedly and ardently since she first
arrived in England, almost five years ago. At first she was too
faithfully attached to the memory of Edward, nor was he exactly the
being to satisfy her imagination; but his sincere and long-tried love
has at last gained the day.
... Nor will I fear for her in the risk she must run when she confides
her future happiness to another's constancy and good principles. He is
a man of honour, he longs for home, for domestic life, and he well
knows that none could make such so happy as Jane. He is liberal in his
opinions, constant in his attachments, if she is happy with him now
she will be always.... Of course after all that has passed it is our
wish that all this shall be as little talked of as possible, the
obscurity in which we have lived favours this. We shall remove hence
during the summer, for of course we shall still continue near each
other. I, as ever, must derive my only pleasure and solace from her
society.
Before the summer of 1827 was over the cloud burst.
Mary's journal in June is less mournful than usual. Congenial society
always had the power of cheering her and making her forget herself. And in
her acquaintance with Thomas Moore she found a novelty which yet was akin
to past enjoyment.
_Journal, June 26_ (1827).--I have just made acquaintance with Tom
Moore. He reminds me delightfully of the past, and I like him much.
There is something warm and genuine in his feelings and manner which
is very attractive, and redeems him from the sin of worldliness with
which he has been charged.
_July 2._--Moore breakfasted with me on Sunday. We talked of past
times,--of Shelley and Lord Byron. He was very agreeable, and I never
felt myself so perfectly at my ease with any one. I do not know why
this is; he seems to understand and to like me. This is a new and
unexpected pleasure. I have been so long exiled from the style of
society in which I spent the better part of my life; it is an
evanescent pleasure, but I will enjoy it while I can.
_July 11._--Moore has left town; his singing is something new and
strange and beautiful. I have enjoyed his visits, and spent several
happy hours in his society. That is much.
_July 13._--My friend has proved false and treacherous! Miserable
discovery. For four years I was devoted to her, and earned only
ingratitude. Not for worlds would I attempt to transfer the deathly
blackness of my meditations to these pages. Let no trace remain save
the deep, bleeding, hidden wound of my lost heart of such a tale of
horror and despair. Writing, study, quiet, such remedies I must seek.
What deadly cold flows through my veins! My head weighed down; my
limbs sink under me. I start at every sound as the messenger of fresh
misery, and despair invests my soul with trembling horror.
_October 9._--Quanto bene mi rammento sette anni fa, in questa
medesima stagione i pensieri, I sentimenti del mio cuore! Allora
cominciai Valperga--allora sola col mio Bene fui felice. Allora le
nuvole furono spinte dal furioso vento davanti alla luna, nuvole
magnifiche, che in forme grandiose e bianche parevano stabili quanto
le montagne e sotto la tirannia del vento si mostravano piu fragili
che un velo di seta minutissima, scendeva allor la pioggia, gli albori
si spogliavano. Autunno bello fosti allora, ed ora bello terribile,
malinconico ci sei, ed io, dove sono?
By those who hold their hearts safe at home in their own keeping, these
little breezes are called "storms in tea-cups." The matter was of no
importance to any one but Mary. The aspect of her outward life was
unchanged by this heart-shipwreck over which the world's waves closed and
left no sign.