MOTHER’S FIFTH TALK--A SMALL GIRL’S ETHICS
=The social nature.=--You are now of an age when you will appreciate a
heart to heart talk on the social relations of small girls and boys. God
gave to us our social natures. It is our social nature that leads us to
desire new acquaintances, to be with old friends, to be in large
gatherings of people, and to have special friends. A reasonable amount
of social activity is essential to our well-being. Most of our real
pleasure in life grows out of our relation to society. Genuine innocent
pleasure is nature’s greatest tonic. Innocent games, a big romp, a good
laugh, all help to develop the body, prolong life and increase one’s
usefulness. Plays, games, a good time, should form a large part of
childhood. The boy’s masculine nature leads him often to prefer games
that require strength, endurance and daring. The girl’s feminine nature
leads her often to prefer games that require less of strength, endurance
and danger. It is for this reason that boys enjoy games of football and
baseball and girls enjoy their dolls, tennis and croquet.
=Boys and girls should play together.=--While boys prefer to play with
boys much of the time and girls prefer to play with girls much of the
time, yet their opposite natures lead them to enjoy being with each
other in conversation and games. In most homes and communities, boys and
girls are nearly equally divided as to number. This would indicate that
God planned for boys and girls to be much with each other.
=The sex and social nature.=--God has given us a sexual nature as well as
a social nature. If boys and girls have not learned bad language,
engaged in impure thoughts or formed habits of vice, they have been
rarely conscious of their sex nature before the dawning of puberty.
After puberty the organs of sex are generating a sex life that results
in occasional sex consciousness. This is not an injury, not a sin. If we
keep our minds pure, avoid everything that would excite these organs,
this new sex life will make wonderful changes in every organ of the
body, faculty of the mind and power of the soul. The consciousness of
sex, or what may be correctly called passion, simply means that we are
in possession of creative energy. By keeping the mind pure, taking
plenty of physical exercise, mental study and sympathizing with and
loving everybody, this sex life will be built into the muscles and brain
tissue, giving strength of body, brilliancy of mind and warmth of soul.
The developing sex life is slowly and gradually preparing them for
fatherhood and motherhood. This preparation is not completed until they
are matured. The girl does not mature until she is about twenty and the
boy until he is about twenty-four. During the eight years of adolescence
for the girl and ten for the boy, she is gradually passing out of
girlhood into womanhood and he from boyhood into manhood. During the
first half of these periods, she is more girl than woman, he is more boy
than man. During these early years the boy may be a manly boy and the
girl a womanly girl, but they are still children. They should still play
together without any thought of being sweethearts. It is natural for a
girl to admire one boy more than she does another because he is gallant,
kind and manly. For like reasons, it is natural for small boys to admire
one girl more than another. Occasionally these little experiences of
admiration take on the more serious form of love. If older people do not
encourage or tease them their little spasms of love will soon disappear.
It is best for boys and girls not to think of each other as sweethearts
and lovers until they are nearer matured.
=The “boy-struck” girl and the “girl-struck” boy.=--They range in age from
ten to twenty. They excite the pity of some, the disgust of others and
the love and appreciation of none. They will carry on an insane or
ridiculous conversation over the phone for an hour, or stand on the
street corner and engage in the most silly nonsense. He is usually a
cigarette-smoking nonentity and she a simpering, giggling, flirting,
amusing imitation of what she would like to be. In the schoolroom they
pass notes and receive low grades. She carries her dressing to the
extreme limit of idiocy, disfiguring her body and ruining her health. As
she grows older she takes lonely midnight strolls and buggy rides. It
will be a miracle if the “boy-struck” girl does not fall. Even if she
does not fall into disgrace, it will be difficult for her to regain her
self-respect and the confidence of her neighbors.
=Confidential social advice.=--While the association of boys and girls is
natural, enjoyable, and has its blessings, it is not without its
temptations and dangers. Passion should never be aroused. In associating
with boys, girls should be very careful in regard to their dress. They
should not wear dresses that unnecessarily expose their breasts or
limbs; they should never use a word or expression that would suggest
wrong thoughts to their boy friends; they should never go off alone with
boys; and they should never permit a boy to hold their hands, pinch
their arms, play with their hair, hug or kiss them. All these things
tend to arouse passion in a way and to an extent exceedingly dangerous.
=A class of dangerous boys.=--It will be well for you to remember that
many boys are very wicked. Poor boys! In many cases they have not been
trained to be polite, kind, and pure. They have no idea how sinful it is
to use obscene language, to be immodest, and by these methods to seek to
ruin the character and life of a girl. Such boys would rather ruin a
girl than be president. Girls should be careful not to associate with
this class of boys.
=The true, the pure boys.=--Some boys are as innocent and pure as most
girls are. Good boys and young men who have been well trained are always
kind, courteous, brave, true, and pure. Association with this class of
boys is always helpful.
=Girlhood comes but once.=--Don’t be in a hurry to grow into womanhood. Be
a joyful, playful, happy little girl just as long as you can. Of course
you will not want to play or be with your friends all the time, or even
most of the time. You will be in school much of the time. You will want
to spend some time on your music, in learning how to make your clothing,
how to care for the bedrooms, and how to cook. You will wish to form
high ideals and gain inspiration from reading books of travel, of
history, some fiction of high moral and literary tone, biographies of
great and good people, the best magazines and, of course, you will not
leave the Bible out of your daily reading.