CHAPTER IV

INNS WITH RELICS AND CURIOSITIES

Just as most cathedrals, and many ancient churches, are in these days

unconsciously looked upon by antiquaries rather as museums than as places

of worship, so many ancient inns attract the tourist and the artist less

as places for rest and refreshment than subjects for the pencil, the

brush, or the camera; or as houses where relics, curious or beautiful,

remain, of bygone people, or other times. Happy the traveller, with a warm

corner in his heart for such things, who comes at the close of day to a

house historic or well stored with such links that connect us with the

past.

There are, indeed, even in these days, when many a house has been

ransacked of its interesting features, to furnish museums and private

collections, still a goodly number of inns containing curious relics, old

panelling, and ancient furniture. Still, for example, at the “Green

Dragon,” Combe St. Nicholas, two miles from Chard, the fifteenth-century

carved oak settle of pronounced ecclesiastical character remains in the

tap-room, and beery rustics continue to this day to use it, even as did

their remote ancestors, the Colin Clouts of over four hundred years ago;

while at Ipswich, in the “Neptune” inn that was once a private mansion

before it entered public life, the fine Tudor dresser, or sideboard, with

elaborately carved Renaissance canopy and “linen-fold” panelling, is yet

left, despite the persuasions and the long purses of would-be purchasers.

There are two evil fates constantly threatening the artistic work of our

forbears: the one the unappreciative neglect that threatens its very

existence, and the other the appreciation that, only too appreciative,

tears it from its accustomed place, to be the apple of some collector’s

jealous eye. To filch from old inn or manor-house, down on its luck, the

carved overmantels or panelling built into the place is as mean and

despicable a thing as to sneak the coppers out of a blind beggar’s tin

mug--nay, almost as sacrilegious as to purloin the contents of the

offertory-bag; but it is not commonly so regarded. For example, the

“Tankard” tavern at Ipswich, once the town mansion of no less a person

than Sir Anthony Wingfield, Captain of the Guard to Henry the Eighth,

possessed a grandly panelled room with a highly elaborate chimney-piece

representing the Judgment of Paris; but in 1843 the whole was taken down

and re-erected at the country house of the Cobbolds.

Still, fortunately, at the “Trevelyan Arms,” Barnstaple, the fine old

plaster fireplace remains, together with a good example at the “Three

Tuns,” Bideford; while doubtless numerous other instances will be borne

in mind by readers of these pages.

[Illustration: A “FENNY POPPER.”]

We deal, however, more largely here with relics of a more easily removable

kind, such, for example, as those odd pieces of miniature ordnance, the

“Fenny Poppers,” formerly kept at the “Bull,” Fenny Stratford, but now

withdrawn within the last year from active service, to be found reclining,

in company with the churchyard grass-mower and a gas-meter, in a cupboard

within the tower of the church. The “Fenny Poppers,” six in number,

closely resemble in size and shape so many old-fashioned jugs or tankards.

They are of cast-iron, about ten inches in length, and furnished with

handles, and were presented to the town of Fenny Stratford in 1726 by

Browne Willis, a once-noted antiquary, who rebuilt the church and

dedicated it to St. Martin, in memory of his father, who was born in St.

Martin’s Lane and died on St. Martin’s Day. These “cannon” were to be

fired annually on that day, and to be followed by morning service in the

church and evening festivities at the “Bull”--a custom still duly

honoured, with the difference that this ancient park of artillery has

recently been replaced by two small cannon, kept at the vicarage.

[Illustration: THE “BELL,” WOODBRIDGE.]

How far one of the old-fashioned hay and straw weighing-machines, once

common in East Anglia, but now growing scarce, may be reckoned a curiosity

must be left to individual taste and fancy; but there can be no difference

of opinion as to the picturesque nature of these antique contrivances. The

example illustrated here gives an additionally pictorial quality to the

“Bell” inn and to the view down the long street at Woodbridge. Cartloads

of hay and straw, driven under these machines, were lifted bodily by

means of the chains attached to them, and weighed by means of the lever

with the sliding weight, seen projecting over the road. The innate

artistry of the old craftsmen in wrought-iron is noticeable even here, in

this business-like contrivance; for you see clearly how the man who

wrought the projecting arm was not content to fashion it merely to a

commonplace end, but must needs, to satisfy his own æsthetic feeling,

finish it off with little quirks and twirls that still, coming boldly as

they do against the sky-line, gladden the heart of the illustrator.

[Illustration: THE “RED LION,” MARTLESHAM.]

There was, until recent years, a similar machine attached to the “King’s

Head” inn, at the entrance to Great Yarmouth, and there still exists one

at King’s Lynn and another at Soham.

A rustic East Anglian inn that is alike beautiful in itself and in its

tree-enshrouded setting, is the “Red Lion,” Martlesham. It possesses the

additional claim to notice of its red lion sign being no less interesting

a relic than the figurehead of one of the Hollanders’ ships that took part

in the battle of Sole Bay, fought between Dutch and English, March 28th,

1672, off Southwold. He is a lion of a semi-heraldic type supporting a

shield, and maintained carefully in a vermilion post-office hue.

That well-known commercial hotel at Burton-on-Trent, styled nowadays the

“Queen’s Hotel,” but formerly the “Three Queens,” from an earlier house on

the site having been visited at different times by Queen Elizabeth, Mary,

Queen of Scots, and Queen Adelaide, still displays in its hall the cloak

worn by the Queen of Scots’ coachman, probably during the time of her

captivity at Tutbury Castle, near by. Why he should have left it behind is

not stated; but as the garment--an Inverness cape of very thin

material--is figured all over with the particularly vivid and variegated

Stuart tartan--all scarlet, blue, and green--the conjecture may be

hazarded that he was ashamed any longer to wear such a strikingly

conspicuous article of attire in a country where it probably attracted the

undesirable attentions of rude boys and other people who, most likely,

took him for some mountebank, and wanted to know when the performance

began.

[Illustration: “DEAN SWIFT’S CHAIR,” TOWCESTER.]

The Holyhead Road, rich in memories of Dean Swift travelling to and from

Ireland, has, in the “Talbot” inn at Towcester, a house associated with

him. The “Talbot,” the property of the Sponne Charity since 1440, was sold

about 1895 to a firm of brewers, and a chair, traditionally said to have

been used by the Dean, was at the same time removed to the Town Hall,

where, in the offices of the solicitor to the feoffees of the Charity, it

remains. It will be observed that the chair was of a considerable age,

even in Swift’s time. An ancient fragment of coloured glass, displaying

the arms of William Sponne, remains in one of the windows of the “Talbot,”

and on a pane of another may be seen scratched the words “Gilbert Gurney,”

presumably the handiwork of Theodore Hook.

The “Bear,” at Esher, properly the “Black Bear,” is an old coaching- and

posting-house. Still you see, on the parapet, the effigies of two bears,

squatting on their rumps and stroking their stomachs in a manner strongly

suggestive of repletion or indigestion. Sometimes the pilgrim of the roads

finds them painted white, and on other occasions--in defiance of natural

history--they have become pink; all according to the taste and fancy of

the landlord for the time being. Whoever, that was not suffering from

delirium tremens, saw such a thing as a pink bear?

Among other, and less interesting, relics in the entrance-hall of this

house, the visitor’s attention is at once struck by a glass case

containing a huge and clumsy pair of jack-boots closely resembling the

type of foot-gear worn by Marlborough and his troopers in the long ago, at

Blenheim, Ramillies, and Malplaquet. They are not, however, of so great an

age as that, nor associated with warlike campaigns, for they were worn by

the post-boy who, in 1848, drove Louis Philippe, the fugitive King of the

French, to his refuge at neighbouring Claremont.

[Illustration: BOOTS AT THE “BEAR,” ESHER.]

Certainly unique is the “George and Dragon” inn at Dragon’s Green, between

Shipley and Horsham, in Sussex. Dragon’s Green (which doubtless derives

its name from the inn-sign) is among the tiniest of hamlets, and few are

those wayfarers who find their way to it, unless indeed they have any

particular business there. In fact, so out of the world is it that those

who inquire for Dragon’s Green, even at Horsham, are like to ask many

people before they happen upon any one who has ever heard of the place.

But who should have any business, save curiosity, at Dragon’s Green, it is

somewhat difficult to conceive. Since 1893, however, it has been the

bourne of those curiosity-mongers who have by chance heard of the

tombstone erected by the roadside there, in the front garden of the inn.

To the stranger who has never heard of this oddity, and comes unexpectedly

upon it, the sight of a solemn white marble cross in a place so generally

associated with conviviality is nothing less than startling. The epitaph

upon it reads:

IN LOVING MEMORY OF

WALTER,

THE “ALBINO” SON OF

ALFRED AND CHARLOTTE BUDD,

born Feby. 12th, 1867, died Feby. 18th, 1893.

_May God forgive those who forgot their duty

to him who was just and afflicted._

_This Cross was erected on the Grave in

Shipley Churchyard, and Removed by order of_

H. GORHAM (Vicar).

_Two Globe Wreaths placed on the Grave

by Friends, and after being there over

Two Years were Removed by_

E. ARKLE, Following (Vicar).

It seems, then, that this is to the memory of a son of the innkeeper, who

committed suicide by drowning, owing to being worried in some local

dispute. The Vicar of Shipley appears to have considered some portion of

the epitaph to be a reflection upon himself, and consequently, in that

Czar-like spirit of autocracy not infrequent in rural clergymen, ordered

its removal. The cross was thereupon re-erected here, and is so

conspicuous an object, and is attaining such notoriety, that the vicar has

probably long since regretted his not allowing it to remain in its

original obscurity. A great many efforts have been made by local magnates

of one kind and another to secure its removal from this situation, and the

innkeeper’s brewers even have been approached for this purpose, but as

the innkeeper happens to be also the freeholder, and the house

consequently not a “tied” one, the requisite leverage is not obtainable.

Although the house looks so modern when viewed from the outside,

acquaintance with its quaint parlour reveals the fact that one of the

oaken beams is dated 1577, and that the old fireback in the capacious

ingle-nook was cast in the year 1622.

[Illustration: THE “GEORGE AND DRAGON,” DRAGON’S GREEN.]

The “White Bull” at the little Lancashire “town” of Ribchester, which

still clings stoutly to the name of town, although it is properly a

village, since its inhabitants number but 1,265, has some ancient relics

in the shape of Roman columns, now used to support the porch and a

projecting wing of the building. They are four in number, of a debased

Doric character, and between six and seven feet high. They are said to be

remains of the temple of Minerva, once standing in the Roman city of

_Coccium_ or _Bremetennacum_ that once stood here, and were fished out of

the river Ribble that now gives a name to Ribchester.

[Illustration: THE “WHITE BULL,” RIBCHESTER.]

The effigy of the White Bull himself, that projects boldly from the front

of the house, is a curiosity in its own way, and more nearly resembles the

not very meaty breed of cattle found in toy Noah’s Arks, than anything

that grazes in modern meadows.

From Lancashire to Yorkshire, in quest of inns, we come to the cathedral

city of Ripon, and the “Unicorn” Hotel.

[Illustration: BOOTS OF THE “UNICORN,” RIPON.]

No inn could have possessed a greater curiosity than grotesque Tom Crudd,

who for many years was “Boots” at the “Unicorn,” and by his sheer physical

peculiarities has achieved a kind of eccentric fame. “Old Boots,” as he

was familiarly known by many who never learned his real name, flourished

from the middle of the eighteenth century onwards, and lies, now that all

his boot-cleaning is done, somewhere in the Minster yard.

This extraordinary person was endowed by nature with a nose and chin so

enormously long, and so lovingly tending to embrace one another, that at

length he acquired the power of holding a piece of money between them, and

so turned his deformity to practical and commercial account. It was a

part of his duty to wait upon travellers arriving at the inn, to assist

them in taking off their boots. He usually introduced himself, as in the

picture, with a pair of slippers in one hand, and a boot-jack in the

other, and we are told that the company were generally so diverted by his

appearance that they would frequently give him a piece of money, on

condition that he held it between his nose and chin.

Other times, other tastes in amusement, and it is scarce possible that

modern travellers would relish such an exhibition, even if provided

gratis.

The “Castle Hotel” at Conway has an interesting and historic object, in

the shape of an authentic contemporary portrait of Dame Joan Penderel,

mother of the Penderel brothers of Boscobel, who secreted Charles the

Second in the “Royal Oak.” It came to the hotel as a bequest to the

landlord, from a friend who in his turn had received it from a man who had

bought it among a number of household odds and ends belonging to two old

maiden ladies of Broseley, connections of the Penderel family. It was

then, to all appearance, nothing more than a dirty old stretched canvas

that had long been used as “blower” to a kitchen fire; but, on being

cleaned, was found to be a portrait of a woman wearing an old-fashioned

steeple-crowned hat, and holding in her hand a rose. The portrait would

never have been identified, but fortunately it was inscribed “Dame

Pendrell, 1662.”

[Illustration: THE “RED LION,” CHISWICK.]

A curious relic is to be seen to this day, chained securely to the

doorway of the “Red Lion” inn at Chiswick. There are, in effect, two

Chiswicks: the one the Chiswick of the Chiswick High Road, where the

electric tramcars run, and the other the original waterside village in a

bend of the river: a village of which all these portents of the main road

are merely offshoots. In these latter days the riverside Chiswick is

becoming more or less of a foul slum, but still, by the old parish church

and the famous Mall--that roadway running alongside the river--there are

old and stately houses, and quaint corners. It is here you find the “Red

Lion”; not an ancient inn, nor yet precisely a new: a something between

waterside tavern and public-house. It has a balcony looking out upon the

broad river, and it also displays--as do many other waterside inns--drags

and lifebelts, the rather grim reminders of waterside dangers. At hand is

Chiswick Eyot, an island densely covered with osier-beds; and hay- and

brick-barges wallow at all angles in the foreshore mud. The relic so

jealously chained in the doorway of the “Red Lion” is a huge whetstone,

some eighteen inches long, inscribed: “I am the old Whetstone, and have

sharpned tools on this spot above 1000 years.” Marvellous!--but not true,

and you who look narrowly into it will discover that at some period an

additional “0” has been added to the original figure of 100, by some one

to whom the antiquity of merely one century was not sufficient. This is

readily discoverable by all who will take the trouble to observe that the

customary spacing between all the other words is missing between “1000”

and “years.”

The whetstone has, however, been here now considerably over a century. It

existed on this spot in the time of Hogarth, whose old residence is near

at hand; and at that time the inn, of which the present building is a

successor, bore the sign of the “White Bear and Whetstone.” The stone then

had a further inscription, long since rubbed away, “Whet without, wet

within.”

The whetstone is thus obviously in constant use. And who, think you,

chiefly use it? The mowers who cut the osiers of Chiswick Eyot. It was for

their convenience, in sharpening their scythes--and incidentally to ensure

that they “wetted their whistles” here--that the long-forgotten tapster

first placed the whetstone in his doorway.

Among inns with relics the “Widow’s Son” must undoubtedly be included.

Unfortunately it is by no means a picturesque inn, and is, in plain,

unlovely fact, an extremely commonplace, not to say pitifully mean and

ugly, plaster-faced public-house in squalid Devons Road, Bromley-by-Bow.

The history of the “Widow’s Son” is a matter of tradition, rather than of

sheer ascertainable fact. According to generally received accounts, the

present house, which may, by the look of it, have been built about 1860,

was erected upon the site of a cottage occupied by a widow whose only son

“went for a sailor.” Not only did he, against her wishes, take up the

hazardous trade of seafaring, but he must needs further tempt Fate by

sailing on a Friday, and, of all possible Fridays, a Good Friday! Such

perversity, in all old sailor-men’s opinions, could only lead to disaster;

it would be, in such circles, equivalent to committing suicide.

[Illustration: THE OLD WHETSTONE.]

The widow, however, expected the return of her rash son on the anniversary

of his departure, and put aside a “hot cross bun” for him. Good Friday

passed, and no familiar footstep came to the threshold, and the days,

weeks, and months succeeded one another until at last Easter came round

again. Hoping fondly against hope, the widow put aside another bun for the

wanderer: in vain. Year by year she maintained the custom; but the son lay

drowned somewhere “full fathom deep,” and the mother never again saw him

on earth.

In the fulness of time she died, and strangers came and were told the

story of that accumulated store of stale buns. And then the cottage was

demolished and the present house built, taking its name from this tale.

And ever since, with every recurrent Easter, a bun is added to the great

store that is by this time accumulated in the wire-netting hanging from

the ceiling of the otherwise commonplace bar. Then the story is told anew;

not with much apparent interest nor belief in the good faith of it; but

sentiment lurks in the heart, even though it refuse to be spoken, and the

flippant stranger is apt to find himself unexpectedly discouraged.

On Good Friday, 1906, the sixty-eighth annual bun, stamped with the date,

was duly added to the dried, smoke-begrimed and blackened collection.

[Illustration: HOT CROSS BUNS AT THE “WIDOW’S SON.”]

We must perhaps include among inns with relics those modern public-houses

whose owners, as a bid for custom, have established museums of more or

less importance on their premises. Among these the “Edinburgh Castle,” in

Mornington Road, Regent’s Park, is prominent, and boasts no fewer than

three eggs of the Great Auk, whose aggregate cost at auction was 620

guineas. They were, of course, all purchased at different times, for Great

Auk’s eggs do not come into the country, like the “new-laid” products of

the domestic fowls, by the gross. The Great Auk, in fact, is extinct, and

the eggs are exceedingly rare, as may be judged by the price they command.

“Great,” of course, is a relative term, and in this case a considerable

deal of misapprehension as to the size of the eggs originally existed in

the minds of many customers of the “Edinburgh Castle.” In especial, the

newspaper reports of how Mr. T. G. Middlebrook, the proprietor, had given

200 guineas for the third egg in his collection, excited the interest of a

cabman, who drove all the way from Charing Cross to see the marvel. When

he was shown, reposing in a plush-lined case, an egg not much larger than

that of a goose, his indignation was pathetic.

“Where is it?” he asked....

“Wot? _Thet?_ ’Corl thet a Great Hork’s Hegg? W’y, from wot they tole me,

I thort it was abaht the size of me bloomin’ keb!”

But they have no roc’s eggs, imported from the pages of the _Arabian

Nights_, at the “Edinburgh Castle.”

One of the most cherished items in the collection is what is described as

“Fagin’s Kitchen,” the interior of a thieves’ kitchen brought from an old

house on Saffron Hill, pulled down some years ago. You are shown “the

frying-pan in which Fagin cooked Oliver’s sausages,” and “Fagin’s Chair,”

together with an undoubted “jemmy” found under the flooring, and not

identified with any Old Master in the art of burglary.

Down in the Vale of Health, on Hampstead Heath, the pilgrim in search of

cooling drinks on dry and dusty public holidays may find a public-house

museum that cherishes “one of Dick Turpin’s pistols”; a pair of Dr.

Nansen’s glasses; a stuffed civet-cat; the helmet of one of the Russian

Imperial Guard, brought from the battlefields of the Crimea; and the

skull of a donkey said to have belonged to Nell Gwynne: a fine confused

assortment, surely!

More serious, and indeed, of some importance, is the collection of

preserved birds, beasts, fishes, and insects, originally founded by the

East London Entomological Society, shown at the “Bell and Mackerel” in

Mile End Road. The exhibition numbers 20,000 specimens in 500 separate

cases.

In the same road may be found the public-house called “The 101,”

containing an oil-painting of three quaint-looking persons, inscribed,

“These three men dranke in this house 101 pots of porter in one day, for a

wager.” The work of art is displayed in the bar, as an inducement to

others to follow the example set by those champions; but the age of heroes

is past.

The Old Inns of Old England, Volume 2 (of 2) A Picturesque Account of the Ancient and Storied Hostelries of Our Own Country · 第 4 / 16 章