_Doctor_—“The room seems cold, Mrs. Hooligan. Have you kept the
thermometer at seventy, as I told you?”
_Mrs. Hooligan_—“Shure, an’ Oi hov, dochtor. There’s th’ devillish thing
in a toombler av warrum wather at this blissid minnut.”
* * * * *
Pat Dooley went round to the cabin of Mike Doolan to pass the time of
day to him; but Mike was out. Mrs. Mike was in, boiling the praties and
trying to nurse the child at the same time. Pat, being a polite boy,
offered to dandle the baby while Mrs. Mike stirred the pot.
In came Mike. “Good morning to you, Pat.”
“The top of the morning to you, Mike, and how’s yourself?”
“It’s gay and grand I am, and how are you, Pat?”
“Just holding my own,” says Pat, tossing the child.
And when Pat woke up, he found that he had been in the hospital for a
week.
* * * * *
_Private Murphy_—“Shure, wid all them women’s movements, I belave we’ll
have women soldiers by and by.”
_Private Flannigan_—“Not a bit of it, shure, the arms that defied the
counthry will always be clothed in trousers!”
* * * * *
_Mike O’Mulligan_ (In hospital operating room, just recovering from
effects of chloroform)—“Och, be the powers, where am I? Where is it I am,
at all, at all?”
_Surgeon Sawbones_ (with a wink to his assistant)—“In Heaven.”
_Mulligan_ (looking around)—“Thin I’d like to know phwat the pair of yez
is doin’ here?”
* * * * *