At the Criminal Court, a few days since, a learned gentleman,
dissatisfied at his success with an Irish witness, complained to the
court. Paddy exclaimed, “I’m no lawyer, yer honor, and he wants to puzzle
me.”
Counsel—“Come, now, do you swear you are no lawyer?”
Witness—“Faith, an’ I do; and you may swear the same thing about
yourself, without fear of being liable for perjury.”
* * * * *
A gentleman visited the house of a friend. The butler, an Irishman,
acted very kindly toward him. He waited upon him at dinner, brushed his
clothes, and saw him into his carriage. The gentleman, who was very
miserly, never offered a tip, so, as a little reminder, Pat said to him:
“Faith, sor, if you lose your purse on the way, remember you didn’t pull
it out hereabouts.”
* * * * *