The doctor says that the first phase of illness is progressing
according to rules. What does that mean? Does it mean that she will
die? The fever is not very great. This seems to be always so the first
two days. She is quite conscious, feels out of sorts and very weak,
but suffers little. The doctor prepared us to expect that the fever
would increase gradually up to forty degrees; there will be great
pains, sickness, and swelling of the feet--that is what he promises!
Let there be at once also the end of the world! O God! if that is to
be my punishment, I swear I will go away, never to see her again in
life,--only save her!