A VISION AND ITS PRE-MORTAL COUNTERPART--BESET BY EVIL
SPIRITS--DELIVERANCE THEREFROM--PREPARATIONS TO MIGRATE--LONG
VOYAGE--TOILSOME JOURNEY--LOST ON THE PLAINS--HELP FROM THE LORD.
His crippled, helpless condition was a great source of sorrow to Niels,
and instead of his becoming gradually reconciled thereto, as it might
be supposed that he would, he seemed to brood over it more the older
he grew. He belonged to a proud and rather dignified family, and was
naturally very proud himself, but realized that he did not present
a dignified appearance. He was constantly reminded that people were
repelled rather than attracted by him, and this of course wounded his
pride and made him miserable.
During the summer preceding his baptism, after a day of extreme
melancholy, an incident occurred that produced an entire change in his
feelings. While engaged preparing his evening meal a glorious vision
burst upon his view. It was not a single scene that he beheld, but a
series of them. He compares them to the modern moving pictures, for
want of a better illustration. He beheld as with his natural sight,
but he realized afterwards that it was with the eye of the spirit
that he saw what he did. His understanding was appealed to as well
as his sight. What was shown him related to his existence in the
spirit world, mortal experience and future rewards. He comprehended,
as if by intuition, that he had witnessed a somewhat similar scene
in his pre-mortal state, and been given the opportunity of choosing
the class of reward he would like to attain to. He knew that he had
deliberately made his choice. He realized which of the rewards he had
selected, and understood that such a reward was only to be gained by
mortal suffering--that, in fact, he must be a cripple and endure severe
physical pain, privation and ignominy. He was conscious too that he
still insisted upon having that reward, and accepted and agreed to the
conditions.
He emerged from the vision with a settled conviction that to rebel
against or even to repine at his fate, was not only a reproach to
an Alwise Father whose care had been over him notwithstanding his
seeming abandonment, but a base violation of the deliberate promise and
agreement he had entered into, and upon the observance of which his
future reward depended.
Whatever opinion others may entertain concerning the philosophy
involved in this theory, is a matter of absolute indifference to
Niels. He does not advocate it; he does not seek to apply it to any
other case; but he has unshaken faith in it so far as his own case is
concerned. Whether true or not, the fact remains that he has derived
comfort, satisfaction, resolution and fortitude from it. He has ever
since been resigned to his affliction, and, though never mirthful,
is serene and composed and uncomplaining. He has always felt that
the vision was granted to him by the Lord for a wise and merciful
purpose--that he might, through a better understanding of his duty, be
able to remain steadfast thereto.
In striking contrast to this experience was that which occurred during
the night following his baptism. Evil spirits seemed to fill the room
in which he had retired to sleep. They were not only terribly visible,
but he heard voices also, taunting him with having acted foolishly in
submitting to baptism and joining the Latter-day Saints. He was told
that he had deserted the only friends he ever had, and would find no
more among the "Mormons," who would allow him to die of starvation
rather than assist him. That he had no means of earning a livlihood
in the far western land to which the Saints all hoped to migrate, and
he would never cease to regret it if he ever went there. This torment
was kept up incessantly until he sought relief in prayer, and three
times he got out of bed and tried to pray before he succeeded in doing
so. Then his fervent pleading unto the Lord for power to withstand
the temptation of the evil one, and to hold fast to the truth,
brought relief to him. The evil spirits gradually, and with apparent
reluctance, withdrew, and peace came to his soul, with the assurance
that the Lord approved of his embracing the Gospel, and that he could
safely rely upon the Lord for future guidance.
Preparations were soon made to migrate to Utah, although Niels was
seriously ill. In addition to his other troubles, he had for years been
afflicted with asthma, and he had such difficulty in breathing that for
a long time he had not been able to recline, having to sleep, if at
all, in a sitting posture. He was also so frail and weak at the time
that many of his acquaintances expressed a fear that he would not live
to make the journey, and some even predicted that he would die while
crossing the ocean. Not at all daunted, however, by these pessimists,
he determined to start with the very first company of migrating Saints,
and soon arranged with a newly-married couple and a young single man
who were ambitious to migrate, to care for him on the journey, carry
and look after his luggage, etc., in return for certain financial aid
which he was able and willing to afford them. He realized that it would
be a long and tiresome trip, and his natural independence was exhibited
in thus arranging beforehand for the help he might require, lest he
might be regarded as a public burden. The journey, as planned, was not
as direct as those commonly pursued in more recent years, nor nearly so
expeditious. The company assembled at Copenhagen, whence they proceeded
by steamer to Kiel, in Germany, and from there took train for Altonia.
At Hamburg, on the river Elbe, they boarded an ocean sailing vessel,
the "Kenilworth," bound for New York. The voyage lasted eight weeks,
long enough for the passengers to get well acquainted with one another.
They had expected to proceed westward from New York, (or rather
from the New Jersey side of the Hudson river) by rail, but Thomas
Taylor, who was the Church Immigration Agent in New York at that
time, had learned before their arrival that all the lines of railway
extending westward from that point had entered into a combine to
demand a higher rate for transporting companies of Latter-day Saints
than those previously prevailing. Determined not to submit to their
extortion, he discovered before the company arrived that one line of
railway extending westward from New Haven, Connecticut, was not in
the combine, and would transport the company at the old rate, and he
decided to patronize it. The road was either poorly equipped with cars
or lacked time before the arrival of the company to make the necessary
arrangements for convenient transportation.
The accommodations on the train as it was made up were rather meager;
in fact, it was a cattle car that Niels rode in, and the passengers had
to sit or he on the floor. The road bed appeared to lack ballast, and
the ride was a jolty, tiresome one--particularly hard on Niels, who was
so painfully affected by the jolting that he sought relief by bracing
his hands against the floor on either side of him, thereby partially
sustaining the weight of his body and easing the jar. The shaking was
so great that both doors fell off the car, and, to cap the climax, some
of the cars ran off the track, the one in which Niels rode standing
crosswise of the track, and with two of the wheels broken off it, when
the train came to a halt. This occurred on the bank of a river in
Southern Canada, and the passengers breathed a sigh of relief when they
discovered what a narrow escape they had from being plunged into the
river.
From New York the company therefore proceeded by coast steamer to New
Haven, and from there by train to St. Joseph Missouri, where they were
transferred to a river boat that during the next two days took them up
the Missouri to Wyoming Hills, a few miles from Nebraska City, from
which point they were to be conveyed by ox train to Salt Lake City,
more than a thousand miles distant.
Before leaving Denmark, he had not been able to walk as much as two
hundred yards without stopping to rest, but he gradually improved while
crossing the sea, and, though temporarily prostrated with the heat
while on the river steamer, he rallied before the overland journey was
undertaken. Before starting from the Missouri river the able-bodied
passengers were requested to walk as much as possible on the journey,
as the wagons were heavily loaded and the strength of the oxen had to
be conserved, as they had an eight weeks trip before them.
Though far from being able-bodied, Niels determined to do his best at
walking. He accordingly set out bravely with the other pedestrians,
with whom, however, he was unable to keep up, as his gait was like
that of a snail. His habit was to walk until overtaken by the train,
or until he was so fatigued that he could not proceed further, when
he would get into a wagon and ride. Occasionally he succeeded by
perseverance in walking all day long, and was necessarily most of the
time alone. By starting early, as soon as breakfast was over, and
before the teams had been hitched up, he would be able to keep ahead of
the train, and yet soon be outdistanced by his more able companions.
Upon one occasion he got lost as a result of being alone. He arrived
at a point where the road which he was following diverged into two.
Not knowing which of the two he should take, he happened to choose
the wrong one, and traveled for a long distance without being able
to see those who had preceded him or the wagons in the rear. Without
apprehension, he trudged along until he arrived at a river which was
too deep and swift for him to wade, and which was spanned by a rude
foot bridge, consisting of two or three lengths of a single round pole,
supported where the ends joined amid-stream by two poles set up in the
form of a cross, with the lower ends firmly imbedded in the stream, and
securely lashed with rawhide at the intersection. The swiftness of the
current and the distance from the foot bridge down to the stream made
him dizzy when he looked down, so that he despaired of being able to
cross the bridge, and yet felt that he must do so to overtake the train
that he supposed must have forded at a point much lower down stream. In
his emergency he knelt in prayer on the river bank, reminding the Lord
of his dependence upon Him and appealing unto Him for help. He arose
with a feeling of confidence, and without any trepidation or dizziness
set out and walked along the pole as steadily as if he had been a
tight-rope performer. Then, following his impression as to the course
he ought to take, he walked on until he overtook the train, encamped,
some time after nightfall, and when men were about to be dispatched to
search for him.