"That's why I came here, Betty," he pursued, blind to her
embarrassment. "I came here with the idea... of getting married...."
He was staring gloomily at the floor and could not see the light that
dawned upon the girl's face. Absorbed in the struggle with his
conscience he had no least suspicion of how his words were affecting
her. He knew only that he must somehow make a confession to her, that
to own her regard and gratitude on the terms that then existed between
them was utterly intolerable.
"You never guessed that, did you?"
"No," she breathed brokenly. "No, Nat, I--"
"Well, it's the truth and...." He rose and moved away. "But I can't
tell you just now--not now...."
"No, not now, Nat." Betty, too, got up. "I think I'd better go home and
see father--I mustn't forget--" she faltered, half blinded by the mist
of the happiness before her eyes.
"No--wait." She stopped to find his gaze full upon her; for the first
time he comprehended that she had not understood, that, worst of all,
she had misunderstood. "I must tell you," he blurted desperately, "I
must."
Instinctively she moved a step toward him. He hung his head.
"To-night, Betty--this evening, just a little while ago, I became
engaged to Josie Lockwood."
She stood as if petrified throughout a wait that seemed to both
interminable. Then he heard her catch her breath sharply. He looked up,
frightened, but she was smiling steadily into his face. Somehow he
found her hand in his.
"Oh, Nat dear," she said, "I'm so glad for you.... I wish you all the
happiness in the world. I ... Good-night."
The hand slipped out of Nat's. He did not move, but waited there with
his empty palm outstretched, despair in his eyes and hell in his heart,
while she walked quietly from the store.
After some time he awoke to the knowledge that she was gone.
"Blithering fool!" he growled. "Why didn't I know I loved her like
this?" He took a turn to and fro, distracted. "And now I've made a mess
of everything! Good Lord! what can I do? I must do something or go
mad!" He swung round behind the soda-fountain counter and seized a
bottle. "I know what! The rules are off! I can have a drink! I can have
two drinks! I can have a million drinks if I want 'em!"
Pouring a generous dose of raw whiskey into the glass he lifted it to
his lips and threw back his head. But the heavy bouquet of the liquor
was stifling in his nostrils, and the first mouthful of it almost
choked him. In a fury he flung the glass from him, so that it crashed
and splintered upon the floor. "Great Heavens!" he cried. "I don't like
the stuff any more.... But"--his gaze fell upon the cigar case--"I can
have a smoke. That'll help some!"
With feverish haste he snatched a cigar from the nearest box, gnawed
off one end, and thrusting the other into the alcohol lighter, puffed
vigorously. But to his renovated palate the potent fumes of the tobacco
were no less repugnant than the whiskey had been. Half strangled, he
plucked the cigar from his mouth and stamped on it.
"Oh," he cried wildly, "I'll be--I'll be damned!"
He paused, staring vacantly at nothing. "And even that doesn't do any
good! God help me, I've forgotten how to swear!"
To him, in this overwrought state, came Tracey, lumbering cheerfully
in, his mouth shaped for a whistle. At sight of Nat he pulled up as if
hit by a club.
"'Evenin', Mister Duncan. What's the matter?"
By an effort Nat brought his gaze to bear upon the boy and comprehended
his existence.
"Ain't you feeling well, Mr. Duncan?"
"No--rotten!"
"What's the matter?"
"_Nothing_!" Nat shouted ferociously.
"Anything I kin----"
"_No_!"
At that instant Kellogg appeared. "Hello, Nat! What's been keeping you?
I came down to bring you home to supper."
"Go to blazes with your supper! Keep away from me! Don't talk to me! I
don't want anything to do with you, d'you understand? You and your
confounded systems have got me into all this----"
He caught sight of his hat abruptly, ceased talking, grabbed the hat
and jammed it on his head, muttering; then started on a run for the
door.
"But what's the matter?" demanded Kellogg, thunderstruck. "Here! Hold
on! Where are you going?"
"To the only place I can get any consolation--church!"