For several days after my "exhumation," I was compelled to remain in my
tent, an invalid.
When at length I became able to take the road, I started back for
Ballarat, where I arrived after an arduous journey on foot, that lasted
nearly three days.
On again becoming fairly settled on this far-famed gold-field, I
purchased a share in a claim on the "Gravel-pits" lead.
This speculation proved fortunate: for the prospect turned out a good
one. The gold I expected to obtain from my claim--added to what I had
previously accumulated--promised to amount to a considerable sum. With
this, I should have been willing to relinquish the hardships of a
miner's life, and follow some less laborious occupation.
When I thought of doing so, however, certain difficulties always
presented themselves.
What should I do? What other profession could I follow? These were
interrogatories, not easily answered.
Where I should go, after leaving the diggings, was a subject for
profound consideration. For what reason should I go anywhere? What
purpose had I to accomplish by going anywhere, or doing anything? While
asking myself these questions, I thought of Jessie, though not with
pleasure, for then within my mind would arise a temptation hard to
resist.
Unable to shape out any plan, I left it to circumstances; and toiled on
from day to day, with no more interest in the future than the shovel I
held in my hands!
How very different it appeared to be with the two young men, who were
part owners of the claim, in which I had purchased a share!
Our "firm" was a large concern, owned by ten of us in all; and out of
the number, there were but two who appeared to be toiling for an object.
The majority of mankind think they are living and working for some
purpose; but many of them are mistaken. They have some wishes, with a
faint desire to see them fulfilled. But few there are who labour with
that determined resolve that cannot be shaken, or set aside by the
circumstances of the hour. Men do not often struggle with the
determined spirit, that is ever certain to insure success.
The most superficial observer could not have failed to perceive, that
the two young men I have mentioned were acting under the influence of
some motive stronger than common.
The energy they displayed in their toil, the firmness they exhibited in
resisting the many temptations set before them, their disregard of the
past, their anxiety for the present, and confidence in the future--all
told me that they were toiling for a purpose. They acted, as if they
had never met with any serious disappointment in life; and as if they
fully believed that Fortune's smiles might be won by those who deserve
them.
I knew they must be happy in this belief: for I once indulged in it
myself. I could envy them, while hoping that, unlike me, the object for
which they were exerting themselves might be accomplished. I had seen
many young men--both in California and Australia--yielding to the
temptations that beset them; and squandering the most valuable part of
their lives in dissipation--scattering the very gold, in the
accumulation of which they had already sacrificed both health and
strength. It was a pleasure, therefore, to witness the behaviour of
these two young miners, actuated by principles too pure and strong to be
conquered by the follies that had ruined so many. For this reason, I
could not help wishing them success; and I sincerely hoped that virtue,
in their case, might meet with its reward.
Nearly everyone has some cause for self-gratification--some little
revenue of happiness that makes him resigned to all ordinary conditions
of life.
My two companions wished to acquire a certain sum of money, for a
certain purpose. They had every reason to believe their wishes would be
fulfilled; and were contented in their toil. Such was once the case
with myself; but my circumstances had sadly changed. I had nothing to
accomplish, nothing to hope for.
And yet this unfortunate state of existence was not without some
reflections, that partially reconciled me to my fate. Others were
toiling with hopes that might end in disappointment; and I was not.
Apprehensions for the future that might trouble them, were no longer a
source of anxiety to me!
One of the young men, whom I have thus ceremoniously introduced, was
named Alexander Olliphant. He was better known amongst us as "the
Elephant"--a distinction partly suggested by his name, and partly owing
to his herculean strength. He was a native of the colonies--New South
Wales--though he differed very much in personal appearance from the
majority of the native-born inhabitants of that colony, who are
generally of a slender make. "The Elephant" was about six feet in
height, but of a stout build, and possessing great physical strength.
Although born and brought up in New South Wales, his conversation
proclaimed him familiar with most of the sights to be witnessed in
London, Paris, and many others of the large cities of Europe. He
appeared to have been well educated; and altogether there was a mystery
about the man, that I could not comprehend. I did not try to fathom it.
Men working together on the gold-fields are seldom inquisitive; and two
mates will often associate, throughout the whole period of their
partnership without either becoming acquainted with a single
circumstance of the past life of the other--often, indeed, without even
learning each other's family names!
I was along with Edmund Lee--already mentioned in my narrative--for many
months; and yet he never heard my name, until the hour of our parting in
Callao--when we were entering into an arrangement to correspond with
each other!
The second of the young men I have spoken about, was known to us simply
as, "Sailor Bill." He seldom had anything to say to anyone. We only
knew, that he had been a sailor; and that he was to all appearance
everything an honest fellow should be. He had worked with Olliphant for
more than a year; and, although the two appeared to be on intimate terms
of acquaintance--and actually were warm friends--neither knew anything
of the private history of the other!
As soon as we should have completed our claim on the Gravel-pits lead,
Olliphant and Bill had declared their intention of proceeding to
Melbourne--to return to the diggings no more. They had been both
fortunate, they said--having obtained the full amount for which they had
been toiling, and something more.
They were going to realise those hopes and wishes, that had cheered and
inspired them through the weary hours of their gold digging life.
They were both quite young. Perhaps they had parents in poverty, whom
they were intending to relieve? Perhaps others might be waiting for
their return, and would be made happy by it? The joy of anticipating
such a happiness was once mine; and I could imagine the agreeable
emotions that must have occupied the thoughts of my two companions--once
my own--to be mine no more.
They were going to give up gold digging--with spirits light, and hopes
bright, perhaps to enter upon some new and pleasanter sphere of action,
while I could bethink me of nothing that would ever more restore my lost
happiness. For me there was nothing but to continue the monotonous
existence my comrades were so soon to forsake.
Volume Three, Chapter XV.