hoax perpetrated in the early eighties of the last century upon the
somewhat ingenuous editor of a newly-started London magazine, who had
been struck with the idea of increasing its attractions by publishing
authentic news of public-school life. Not unnaturally he began with
Eton, and, setting to work to secure contributors at that school,
obtained some really astounding information, which afterwards went to
the making of an extremely scarce little book called _Eton as She is
not_. More recently an amusing account of the whole affair appeared in
the _Cornhill Magazine_ at the end of an excellent article on “College
at Eton.” At first the editor’s correspondents merely furnished him
with accounts of local events, all of them pure invention; but,
emboldened by success, they soon went on to describe some interesting
old customs. The first was chronicled thus:--
A curious custom takes place here on certain days in College Dining
Hall, called “Passing the Green Stuff.” The second fellow at the big
fellows’ table suddenly says, “Pass me that Green Stuff,” referring
to a dish of mint placed on the table; then the fellow opposite him
stands up, and says “Surgite” (arise), on which all the other fellows
get up from their places and run the fellow who “broached” (_i.e._
asked for) the green stuff round the School Paddocks, shouting out
such military commands as “Quick march! Right turn!” etc. They then
return to dinner, when a “grace-cup” is partaken by all except him
who “broached” the green stuff.
[SN: “SLUNCHING” THE PADDOCKS]
In the next number readers were informed that at Eton Prisoner’s Base
is a great success, and the Paddock is almost always deserted for the
Cloisters. The following then appeared:--
Another curious custom at Eton is “Slunching the Paddocks.” On a
certain day all the Collegians and Oppidans are provided with a
coarse sort of pudding, which is put to the following use. After
dinner is over they all go to Weston’s and School Paddocks and throw
their pudding all over them. This is “Slunching the Paddocks,” the
pudding being called “Slunch.” It is supposed to be derived from the
fact that when Queen Elizabeth visited Eton College “she lunched”
(s’lunched) in College Hall, and the students sprinkled the paddocks
with dry rice in her honour.
In the number published on March 5, 1884, a purely imaginary list of
the officials of the various school departments was given. There were
the Captains of the “Broach” and the “Slunch,” the two College boats;
the Captain of Cricket Tassels, R. J. Lucas;[12] Captain of Fives
Tassels, Havager Boroughdale; Captain of the Musical Department, R.
A. S. Berry-Young; Captain of the Curling Club, T. T. Vator; Captain
of the Spelican Team, Tute Goodhart; Captain of Ushers, J. Goodwin;
Steward of the Paddocks, H. Beecham Wolley; Choragus, C. Wofflington.
This was followed in the next number by the news that the Spelican team
had played their first match of the season on March 11 against the
Dorney Dubes. The Collegian Brigade, an admirable corps, which marched
out as far as Brocas Hedges, was later on described as having met
with a catastrophe, for “a bull loose in Weston’s Paddock, which they
passed through on the way, attacked the line, and a boy named Swage was
knocked over and slightly bruised.”
This went on for six months, when the Editor wrote and expressed
a desire to come down to Eton and see the place for himself. He
was duly shown a hockey match between B. Wolley’s “Field Mice” and
Flenderbatch’s “Jolly Boys,” the match being played with tassels on the
caps and all, which so impressed him that he returned to London and
wrote an account of what he had seen, giving at the same time a new and
original version of the School Song, addressed to “Pulcra Etona” and
praying among other things that:
Slunna fluat,
Semper ruat
Capti fundamentum.
“Slunna” is slunch, “capti fundamentum” is sound Latin for prisoner’s
base. In high good temper he added that “our Eton correspondence is
supplied by a gentleman who is a universal favourite in College, and
the Editor is pleased to state that he has received letters from
Etonians all over the world, signifying their approval of his reports.”
He was disillusioned soon after, and no more space was devoted to Eton
and the strange doings of its students.
Though at that time something of the old-world spirit still lingered,
there survived few of the quaint “characters” who had once been fairly
numerous at Eton. The ever-gentle, suave, and urbane Giles of Williams’
(afterwards Ingalton Drake’s, and now Spottiswoode’s) will, however,
be remembered by many. How this good-natured man managed to book the
orders at the beginning of a school-time and keep his temper is a
mystery which will never be solved. He had, I remember, a red-headed
assistant, who, though a shade more inclined to frivolity than Giles
(who was scholastic gravity itself), seemed to have been born to serve
out broad rule and derivation paper without being ever in the least
perturbed by the chatter of crowds of Lower boys.
[SN: SOLOMON]
Another grave-looking character of this period was Solomon, who all
day long stood in a minute room at the back of Brown’s, the hosier,
ironing hats. Solomon’s appearance and demeanour did not accord ill
with his appellation. He was a white-headed old man who always wore a
paper cap somewhat resembling the traditional head-dress of a French
cook. Standing in his shirt-sleeves gently working his iron over
the nap of ill-used “toppers,” his favourite topic was the Turf, of
which surely no more ardent votary ever lived. All day long he would
discuss with the various boys who streamed into his little workroom the
chances of the horses entered for the next classic race. Solomon was
essentially an old-fashioned turfite in his ideas, and knew nothing of
starting-price jobs or other new-fangled manœuvres. He was, however,
acquainted with the form of all the more prominent race-horses, and in
his conversation laid gentle stress upon the value of a judgment which
no one wished to dispute. In spite of the old man’s ardent affection
for racing, I cannot help thinking that during his long life he had
seldom seen any races run. On this subject, however, it was best
to hold one’s peace. Though Solomon’s sanctum was the scene of such
eternal confabulations as to the great question of first, second,
and third, I cannot remember that much betting arose from it. As far
as my memory serves me, the majority of Solomon’s visitors remained
purely academic in their patronage of racing. Perhaps this was owing
to the fact that the Lower boys, of whom his ever-changing audience
was for the most part composed, had very little money, and preferred
to spend what they had in substantial dainties rather than risk it in
speculations of a visionary kind. I do not recollect Solomon doing any
serious betting for boys, but have a vague idea he occasionally put
shillings on. I was therefore surprised when told some years ago that
the old man had been driven out of his place owing to the action of the
College authorities, who objected to him as demoralising the boys by
assisting them to bet. I can only hope that this report was untrue, for
in my day, at least, his influence was quite harmless.
[SN: BETTING]
In the sixties, I believe, there used to be a school Derby lottery
every year, the winner of which generally got about £25. The
arrangements for this seem to have been placed in the hands of a
well-known character about the “wall” named “Snip,” but he had died or
disappeared long before my day, and the only lottery I remember was a
tiny private affair, the tickets of which cost sixpence or a shilling.
In connection with this subject it is said that of late years betting
amongst the boys has become a serious evil. If this is the case, the
school must have undergone a considerable change in its ideas within
the last quarter of a century. In the late seventies and early eighties
there was practically no betting at all amongst the boys, chiefly for
the reason just given, but also because there existed a widespread
idea that any attempt at speculation would eventually lead to loss of
money. A good many boys, no doubt, who had a love for the Turf looked
forward to gratifying a taste for speculation in time to come, whilst
others told extravagant tales of Turf triumphs during the holidays, but
few took racing seriously, their interest being limited to flocking to
the post-office to hear the first news as to the winner of any great
race. A salient proof that at that date no real betting existed was
the sensation caused amongst us by the rumour, based on truth, that
a new boy (the son of the Maharajah Duleep Singh, whose arrival at
Eton created some sensation), on being spoken to by a member of the
eight in the school-yard, had offered to bet him a fiver against a
certain horse, which wager had been accepted. This was the largest
wager we ever heard of as being made at Eton, and it was looked upon as
extraordinary.
On the other side of the High Street, opposite to the establishment
where Solomon ironed hats and gave forth his wisdom, a younger rival
also doctored battered “toppers.” As far as I can remember, he was a
far rougher individual than the racing sage, and possessed a tendency
towards familiarity which was not universally popular. He and Solomon
both resembled each other in one respect, which was their taste for
plastering every available inch of their walls with cuts and paragraphs
from cheap papers of a comic order.
A curious character amongst the sock shopkeepers of that period was an
old Italian confectioner, who owned rather a spacious shop with very
little in it up the High Street, on the right-hand side going from Eton
towards Windsor Bridge. This worthy, who was always attired in a cook’s
dress--white cap, apron, and all--made and sold most excellent ices,
which procured him a fair amount of custom from the Eton boys in spite
of the fact that his shop was considered rather “scuggish.” According
to common report, the proprietor had once been employed at Windsor
Castle, where his skill as an ice-maker had won the favour of Queen
Victoria, with whom for a time he had become a particular favourite.
One day, however, the Queen had caught him administering a thundering
thrashing to his wife, in consequence of which she had very rightly at
once turned him out of his post. This story, though resting upon no
credible evidence, was generally believed by Lower boys, and some of
them made a practice of infuriating the old man by hurling taunts at
him as they were going out of his shop. “What a pity, ‘Cally,’ you got
kicked out of the Queen’s kitchen!” they would call out, and the little
Italian never failed to fly into a great rage at their chaff. Indeed,
on more than one occasion he was said to have pursued boys into the
street with a knife in his hand, but this in all probability was mere
exaggeration. Nevertheless he had a violent temper, and for this reason
was constantly being drawn by mischievous boys.
[SN: A POPULAR INSTITUTION]
A more improving occupation than chaffing tradesmen was reading
books and papers at Ingalton Drake’s, the bookseller, who afterwards
took over Williams’, where all the school books were sold. This
establishment, owing to the good nature of the proprietor, was
constantly thronged with a crowd of boys, who, seldom making any
purchase, spent a good deal of time turning over the leaves of new
books just fresh from London. The _Times_ could also be read there.
As a matter of fact, the boys were very careful not to hurt or dirty
the books they took up or touched, and I do not think the owner of
the establishment had reason to regret his kindliness, which was the
means of many Etonians acquiring an insight into branches of knowledge
which the school curriculum made no attempt to include. Many a pleasant
and not uninstructive half-hour was passed here by boys to whom
cut-and-dried lessons made no appeal.
[SN: HOISTING]
The Eton traditions of three decades ago were not very many in number,
most of them being concerned with minor points of dress, things which
were to be done and were not to be done, and the like. Except hoisting,
few old usages survived, though, no doubt, the opinions of many
long-past generations still influenced the boys in their unwritten code
of what was “scuggish” and what was not. Hoisting, I believe, still
survives, though a very few years ago undue exuberance on the part of
the boys nearly caused its abolition. At that time (1904-1905) the
whole school would assemble along the wall on the evening of the School
Pulling, which always takes place after Lord’s, and await the arrival
of the members of “Pop,” who from Tap would walk arm-in-arm across the
whole street to opposite their Club Room in the building of the old
Christopher. They would then seize the winners of the School Pulling,
and, according to traditional custom, run up and down along the wall
with them, the whole school shouting at the top of their voices. If the
eleven had won at Lord’s, or the eight at Henley, its members were also
hoisted one by one. In the case of the School Pulling, the winners,
after being hoisted, were taken to some prominent upper window in one
of the houses which all could see, and water solemnly poured over their
heads, the jugs and crockery being eventually thrown out into the
street. This latter generally occurred just before Lock-up, all the
boys being still out in the street. The end was that “Pop” canes were
produced, arms linked, and everybody systematically driven into his
tutor’s house. The ceremony of hoisting was not very popular with the
public, for, in consequence of the noise, passing carts and carriages
generally went by a good deal quicker than the drivers wished, and
horses became alarmed, whilst no bicyclist was allowed to remain on
his bicycle, every one who passed being booed or cheered. Thirty years
ago the ceremony proceeded much in the same way, though there was more
consideration shown to the drivers of horses which looked likely to
become alarmed by noise; also the crockery-smashing ceremonial did
not exist, and would have been resented had any attempt been made to
institute it.
Like another custom of modern origin, “Lock-up Parade,” this very
undesirable addition to hoisting has now been forbidden. Lock-up
Parade, which did not exist in the writer’s Eton days, took place in
the Summer Half, just before the hour of Lock-up, when the boys walked
backwards and forwards within very narrow limits to the strains of
musicians stationed outside “Tap.”
[Illustration: Eton College from the River. _From an old coloured
print._]
Tap is, if possible, more flourishing than ever, being, as of old,
crowded on summer evenings. At such a time whilst the wet bobs on their
way home from the Brocas fill it to overflowing, a number of swagger
dry bobs also put in an appearance. In addition to the traditional
refreshments procurable at Tap, chops, steaks, bread and cheese, beer
and cider, coffee, chocolate, cakes, fruit, and other good things of
the same kind may now be got there, with the result that it is also
much frequented after twelve, though, of course, not by Lower boys,
who are still excluded as of old. A modern Eton fashion is the giving
of a breakfast under a tent in the garden of Tap during the summer
term. This is a very “swagger” affair, most of “Pop” putting in an
appearance. A few years ago, when some of the members of the Eton
Society were more than usually vivacious in disposition, the return
from Tap in the evening just before Lock-up was occasionally very
noisy, top-hats flying about in all directions, and passers-by finding
it difficult to proceed on their way without being playfully held up.
At present, however, the summer evenings are once again peaceful as of
yore--a happy state of affairs which should delight every true lover
of Eton, for it is beneath the rays of a setting sun that the tranquil
charm of the old red-brick walls and weather-beaten buildings makes
itself especially felt. [SN: SWINBURNE’S LINES] At this time of year
is it, more than any other, that the crowning glory of the place--the
playing fields fringed by the silver winding Thames--present such a
superb scene of placid beauty, whilst College close by whispers from
its towers “the last enchantment of the Middle Age.” No wonder that, in
spite of altered ways and habits, the spirit fostered by such stately
surroundings still remains alive--
Still the reaches of the river, still the light on field and hill,
Still the memories held aloft as lamps for hope’s young fire to fill,
Shine, and while the light of England lives shall shine for
England still.
It is to be hoped that these lines, written by the last great Etonian
poet to celebrate the 450th anniversary of the foundation, will be as
applicable to the school five hundred years hence as they are to-day.
May those yet to come continue to bear the torch of Eton, handed down
from distant generations, bravely aloft, whilst never ceasing to keep
before their eyes the duty of delivering it to their successors, its
flame bright and brilliant as of old.
FOOTNOTE:
[12] Captain of the eleven 1883-1884, Unionist member for Portsmouth
1900-1906. In more recent years Mr. Lucas has become known to many as a
writer with a particularly pleasant style, who is also possessed of a
gift for delicate versification.
INDEX
Abingdon, Lord, 77
Absence, 77, 259, 261, 283
_Adventurer_, the, 246
Agar’s Plough, 280, 281
Ainger, the Rev. A. C., 121, 127
Ainslie, Mr. Douglas, viii, 305
Albert, Prince, 148
Alford, Lord, 88
Allen, Anthony, 136
Allestree, Provost, 14
Angelo, Miss, 64
Ante-Chapel, 5, 187
Army class, 231
Athletics, modern admiration for, 241, 242
Atholl, Duke of, 41
Austen Leigh, Mr. R. A., 191
Austen Leigh, William, 225
“Bacchus verses,” 163, 164
Badge-giving, 38-40
Balston, Dr., 189, 290-292
Barnard, Dr., 21, 22, 218, 264
Barnes Pool Bridge, 52, 205, 293
Bayley, Emilius, 275
Beagles, the, 283-285, 296
“Beaks,” 298
Bear, Johnny, 217
Benson, Mr. A. C., 166, 270
Benthall, E. C., K.S. (Keeper of the Wall, 1911), 266
Bethell, Mr., 150, 207
Betting, 323
“Bever,” 166
Bircham, Mr. F. T., 90
“Bishop,” 114
Blake-Humfrey, Mr. R. H., 261
Blandford, Lord, 41
Bligh, the Hon. Arthur, 219
Block, the, anecdotes concerning, 89, 90, 92
Blomfield, Sir Arthur, 190
Boating song, the Eton, its history, 121, 122
Bogle Smith, 219
Boland, Billy, 274
Bott, College constable, 206
Boudier, G. J., 280
Bourchier, Mr. Arthur, organises theatricals at Eton,
anecdotes, 219-221
Brinsley Richards, Mr., 24, 85
Brocas, 104, 262, 284, 327
Brown, Tom, Eton tailor, 206
Brown’s, little, 312
Browning, Mr. Oscar, 291
Brownlow North, Mr., 97
“Brozier,” 62, 63
Bryant, Jacob, 264
Bryant or Brion (sock cad), 109
Bulkeley-Johnson, Mr. Vivian, viii
Bullying, anecdote of, 59
“Burry,” 62
Butler, Dr., 277
Byron, 75
“Cally,” 325
Campbell, Lord Archibald, 41
Captain of the boats, 249, 250, 261, 263
Carnegie, Mr. Andrew, his opinions concerning Greek, 232
Carrington, Lady, 293
Carter, the Rev. W. A., 4, 39
Carter’s Chamber, 200, 203
Carvings, elaborate, upon old organ case of Eton Chapel, 178
Castle (inn), 142
Champeau, French swimming instructor, 263, 264
Chapel, 5;
its architectural history, 173-175;
so-called restoration, 181, 182;
old woodwork and organ loft, 175, 176;
new stalls, 182;
present condition, 184-186
Chapel sock, 41, 42, 175
“Check nights,” 256, 257
Chitty, Right Hon. Lord Justice, 275
Christopher, the, 53, 57;
anecdotes concerning, 110, 119, 257
Christopher yard, 213
Churton, Henry Norris, declines scholarship at King’s, 226
Cloister Pump, 162
Cloisters, 159, 161
Cobbold, Felix Thornley, last Eton scholar under old statutes, 225
College buildings, account of alterations and restorations in, 156-191
College, horse-play in, 208-210
College in past days, 196-218
Collegers, their food in old days, 203-205
Collet, 219
“Colours,” 282, 283
Colours of “boats” at present day, 263
Costume, old Eton, 34-36
Coventry, Lord, 258
Cradock, Zachary, 15
Craven, Lord, 40
Creasy (the historian), 125
Creasy, 269
Culliford, James (chief butler), 205;
his son, 206
Cumberland, Duke of, 16, 18
Curfew tower, vulgarisation of, 193, 194
Curraghmore, 89
Curzon, Lord, 127, 249
Cust, family of, 182
Dalmeny, Lord, 170
Dalton, the Rev. T., favourable to theatricals, 219, 220
Daniel (captain of Harrow eleven), 276
“Deadman’s Hole,” 265
Deeson, architect and “restorer” of Chapel, 182, 183
De Foix, 12
De Quincey, 227
Douro, Lord, 76, 137
Drury’s, 247
Duleep Singh, the Maharajah, 323
Dupuis, the Rev. G., a Vice-Provost, 28, 29, 150
Durnford, the Rev. F. E. (Judy), 286
Durnford, Richard, first Eton scholar to go to King’s under
new statutes, 226
Durnford, Mr. Walter, 309
East window, 185
Educational system at Eton, reflections upon, 227-242
Election Chamber, 159, 160, 223
Election Saturday, 84, 202, 222-224, 257, 258
Elizabeth, Queen, relics of her visit to Eton, 8, 167, 319
Elliot, Mr. Willie, 221
“Estaminet,” the, 116
Eton and Harrow match, 275-279;
incident after, 278, 279
Eton Mission, 296
Evans, Miss, 64
Evans, Mr. William, 41
Fagging, 59, 309-311
Fight, a fatal, 96, 97
Fighting, anecdotes concerning, 92-98
Finlay, 269
Finmore (Dr. Hawtrey’s servant), 91
“Fire-place,” 216, 217
Fives, 244;
first regular court, 245, 281, 282
Floods, 105
Flowers, Jimmy, 104
Font, new, 186;
old, 187
Football, 244, 245
Foote, his remark at the Castle Inn, 142
Fourth of June, 222
Fox, Charles James, 22, 169
Frampton Court, viii, 175
Frescoes in Chapel, 179, 180, 181
“Furking,” 267
Games popular in 1770, 240
George the Third, 30-33
Giles, 320, 321
Gilmer, 219
Gladstone, 57, 127, 169, 170, 233, 247, 248;
as an Eton boy at Montem, 137
Godolphin, Provost, 89, 173, 176
Goodall, Dr., 26-29, 68, 72, 95, 187
Goodford, Dr., 85, 86, 91, 117, 237, 256, 292
Gown, changes concerning, 210, 211, 215
Gray, 242
Green, “Polly,” 284
Grieve, an Eton boy burnt to death, 45
Groves, Barney, 104
Hale, the Rev. E., 293
Hall, Jack, 103
Hall, the College, 15, 140;
remodelling of western end, architectural history, 162;
drastic restoration in 1858, 163;
present condition, 165
Harcourt, the Rt. Hon. Lewis, vii, 127, 128, 201
Harding, 80, 273
Harris, Mr., 234
Harrow, 240
Hatecliffe, William, first Eton scholar (1443), 225
Hatton, Mrs., her “sock shop,” 247
Haverley, Jack, 254
Hawtrey, Dr., 40, 41, 58, 65, 66, 81, 84, 87, 95, 111, 118,
143, 149, 150, 160, 255, 267, 274, 288-290;
his monument in Chapel, 189
Hawtrey brothers, 219
Hawtrey, Mr. John, 51
Hawtrey, Mr. Stephen, 233
Heath, Dr., 25
Henley, 240, 263
Henry VI., 3, 5, 212, 225, 226
Henry VIII., 6, 7
Hexter, Major, 233
Hill, Mr., saves old Eton organ case, 177
Hoaxes, 100, 317;
an elaborate modern one, 317-320
Hockey, 245, 246
Hodgson, Provost, 150, 196, 197, 203;
his reforms in College, 215
Hoisting, 326, 327
Hoop, its former popularity at Eton, 242, 243
Hoppie (sock cad), 110
Hornby, Dr., 11, 65, 87, 92, 105, 169, 279, 288-290, 291, 294, 307
_Illustrated London News_, 140, 211 (_note_)
Ingalton Drake’s, 320, 325
James, the Rev. C. C., 292
Jesse, Mr. J. H., 88, 89
Jobey Joel, 110, 219
Johnson, William (afterwards William Cory), anecdotes of, 119-123
Joynes, the Rev. J. L., 87, 287, 288
Joynes, young Mr., 291
Keate, Dr., 35, 50, 57;
anecdotes of, 68-82, 102, 116, 214, 219, 231, 252, 255,
281, 282, 294
Keate’s Lane, 281, 282
Kenyon, Lord, 219
King’s, 132, 134;
arms of, on old Eton organ case, 178, 223;
dissolution of ancient bond with Eton, 225, 226
Kintore, Lord, 97
Ladas, 248
Lanesborough, Lord, 284
Langford, Lord, 39
Layton’s, 59
Leaving Books, 64, 65;
Money, 65, 66
Lectern, ancient, 187
Leveson-Gower, Lord Ronald, 41
Levett, Berkeley, 219
Levi (sock cad), 109
Lewis, Dr., 90
Lock-up, 93, 305, 327
Lock-up Parade, 327
Lomax, 137
Long Chamber, 158, 172, 197;
description of, 200-202;
remodelling of, 221-222
Long Glass, 66, 67
Long-morning, 60
Lord’s, 276, 279, 326
Lord’s (old), 274
Lorne, Lord, 41
Lotteries, 322, 323
“Lower College” (obsolete form of football), 267
Lower School, 8, 170-172
Lubbock, Mr. Alfred, 277
Lubbock, Mr. Robin, 278
Lubbock family, 278
Lucas, Mr. Reginald, 220, 319 (_note_)
Lupton’s Chapel, 13, 185
Luxmoore, Mr. H. E., 185
Lyte, Sir Henry Maxwell, 3, 180
Lyttelton, the Hon. and Rev E. (Headmaster), 295-297
Lyttelton family, 278
Lytton, Phil, 204
M’Niven minor, 276
Malim, William, 6, 7, 134
Map-making, 49
Marcon, W., 269
Memorial Hall, 191, 192, 247, 248
Miller, Jem, 272
“Missis” (sock seller), 110
Mitchell, Mr. R. A. H., 221, 276
Monckton, George (afterwards Lord Galway), 41
Montem, 33;
description of and anecdotes, 129-156;
waving the flag at, 144, 149;
costumes worn at, 145, 146;
last celebration, 148, 149;
abolition, 150;
relics of, 152, 156
Montem poet, 152-156;
odes, 153