Next day brought Roma's reply.
"MY DEAR D.,--Your letter has thrown me into the wildest state of
excitement and confusion. I have done no work all day long, and
when Black has leapt upon me and cried, 'Come out for a walk, you
dear, dear dunce,' I have hardly known whether he barked or
talked.
"I am sorry our charming intercourse is to be interrupted, but you
can't mean that it is to be broken off altogether. You can't, you
can't, or my eyes would be red with crying, instead of dancing
with delight.
"Yet why they should dance I don't really know, seeing you are so
indefinite, and I have no right to understand anything. If you
cannot write by post, or even send messages by hand, if my man F.
is your enemy, and your housemate B. is mine, isn't that precisely
the best reason why you should come and talk matters over? Come at
once. I bid you come! In a matter of such inconceivable
importance, surely a sister has a right to command.
"In that character, I suppose, I ought to be glad of the news you
give me. Well, I _am_ glad! But being a daughter of Eve, I have a
right to be curious. I want to ask questions. You say I know the
lady, and am, unhappily, too deeply interested in her--who is she?
Does she know of your love for her? Is she beautiful? Is she
charming? Give me one initial of her name--only one--and I will be
good. I am so much in the dark, and I cannot commit myself until I
know more.
"You speak of obstacles, and say they are decisive and
insurmountable. That's terrible, but perhaps you are only thinking
of what the poets call the 'cruel madness' of love, as if its
madness and cruelty were sufficient reason for flying away from
it. Or perhaps the obstacles are those of circumstances; but in
that case, if the woman is the right one, she will be willing to
wait for such difficulties to be got over, or even to find her
happiness in sharing them.
"See how I plead for my unknown sister! Which is sweet of me,
considering that you don't tell me who she is, but leave me to
find out if she is likely to suit me. But why not let me help you?
Come at once and talk things over.
"Yet how vain I am! Even while I proffer assistance with so loud a
voice, I am smitten cold with the fear of an impediment which you
know a thousand times better than I do how to measure and to meet.
Perhaps the woman you speak of is unworthy of your friendship and
love. I can understand that to be an insurmountable obstacle. You
stand so high, and have to think about your work, your aims, your
people. And perhaps it is only a dream and a delusion, a mirage of
the heart, that love lifts a woman up to the level of the man who
loves her.
"Then there may be some fault--some grave fault. I can understand
that too. We do not love because we should, but because we must,
and there is nothing so cruel as the inequality of man and woman
in the way the world regards their conduct. But I am like a bat in
the dark, flying at gleams of light from closely-curtained
windows. Will you not confide in me? Do! Do! Do!
"Besides, I have the other matter to talk about. You remember
telling me how you kicked out the man M----? He turned spy as the
consequence, and has been sent to England. You ought to know that
he has been making inquiries about you, and appears to have found
out various particulars. Any day may bring urgent news of him, and
if you will not come to me I may have to go to you in spite of
every protest.
"To-morrow is the day for your opening of Parliament, and I have a
ticket for the Court tribune, so you may expect to see me floating
somewhere above you in an atmosphere of lace and perfume.
Good-night!--Your poor bewildered sister, ROMA."