Edward Brown's official sheet,
Humble though his station,
Showed a record which the Fleet
Viewed with admiration.
Fifteen stainless summers bore
Fruit in serried cluster;
Conduct stripes he proudly wore,
One for every lustre.
Picture then the blank amaze
When this model rating
Suddenly developed traits
Most incriminating.
Faults in baser spirits deemed
Merely peccadillos
In that crystal mirror seemed
Vast as Biscay billows.
Cautioned not to over-run
Naval toleration,
He replied in language un-
Fit for publication.
When the captain in alarm
Strove to solve the riddle,
Edward slipped a dreamy arm
Round that awful middle.
Such a catastrophic change
Set his shipmates thinking;
Rumour whispered, "It is strange;
Clearly he is drinking."
Ever more insistent got
This malicious fable,
Till he tied a true-love's knot
In the anchor cable.
* * * * *
"During December, 1661, meals for necessitous school children were
provided at Chorley at a cost of 4d. per meal per scholar."
_Provincial Paper._
In gratitude for the Restoration, we suppose. Hence the watchword, "Good
old Chorley!"
* * * * *
"Summoned for permitting three houses to stray on Stoke Park on the
19th inst ... defendant admitted the offence, but said that some
one must have let them out by taking the chain off the
gate."--_Provincial Paper_.
It seems a reasonable explanation.
[Illustration: _Officer_ (_to Tommy, who has been using the whip
freely_). "Don't beat him; talk to him, man--talk to him!"
_Tommy_ (_to horse, by way of opening the conversation_). "I coom from
Manchester."]
* * * * *