In that month of June, for the first time in his deliberately active
career, Neville experienced a disinclination to paint. And when he
realised that it was disinclination, it appalled him. Something--he
didn't understand what--had suddenly left him satiated--and with all the
uneasiness and discontent of satiation he forced matters until he could
force no further.
He had commissions, several, and valuable; and let them lie. For the
first time in all his life the blank canvas of an unexecuted commission
left him untempted, unresponsive, weary.
He had, also, his portrait of Valerie to continue. He continued it
mentally, at intervals; but for several days, now, he had not laid a
brush to it.
"It's funny," he said to Querida, going out on the train to his sister's
country home one delicious morning--"it's confoundedly odd that I should
turn lazy in my old age. Do you think I'm worked out?" He gulped down a
sudden throb of fear smilingly.
"Lie fallow," said Querida, gently. "No soil is deep enough to yield
without rest."
"Yours does."
"Oh, for me," said Querida, showing his snowy teeth, "I often sicken of
my fat sunlight, frying everything to an iridescent omelette." He
shrugged, laughed: "I turn lazy for months every year. Try it, my
friend. Don't you even keep _mi-carême_?"
Neville stared out of the window at the station platform past which
they were gliding, and rose with Querida as the train stopped. His
sister's touring car was waiting; into it stepped Querida, and he
followed; and away they sped over the beautiful rolling country, where
handsome cattle tried to behave like genuine Troyon's, and silvery sheep
attempted to imitate Mauve, and even the trees, separately or in groups,
did their best to look like sections of Rousseau, Diaz, and even
Corot--but succeeded only in resembling questionable imitations.
"There's to be quite a week-end party?" inquired Querida.
"I don't know. My sister telephoned me to fill in. I fancy the party is
for you."
"For _me_!" exclaimed Querida with delightful enthusiasm. "That is most
charming of Mrs. Collis."
"They'll all think it charming of you. Lord, what a rage you've become
and what a furor you've aroused!... And you deserve it," added Neville,
coolly.
Querida looked at him, calm intelligence in his dark gaze; and
understood the honesty of the comment.
"That," he said, "if you permit the vigour of expression, is damn nice
of you, Neville. But you can afford to be generous to other painters."
"Can I?" Neville turned and gazed at Querida, gray eyes clear in their
searching inquiry. Then he laughed a little and looked out over the
sunny landscape.
Querida's olive cheeks had reddened a trifle.
Neville said: "What _is_ the trouble with my work, anyway? Is it what
some of you fellows say?"
Querida did not pretend to misunderstand:
"You're really a great painter, Neville. And you know it. Must you have
_everything_?"
"Well--I'm going after it."
"Surely--surely. I, also. God knows my work lacks many, many things--"
"But it doesn't lack that one essential which mine lacks. _What_ is it?"
Querida laughed: "I can't explain. For me--your Byzantine canvas--there
is in it something not intimate--"
"Austere?"
"Yes--even in those divine and lovely throngs. There is, perhaps, an
aloofness--even a self-denial--" He laughed again: "I deny myself
nothing--on canvas--even I have the audacity to try to draw as you do!"
Neville sat thinking, watching the landscape speed away on either side
in a running riot of green.
"Self-denial--too much of it--separates you from your kind," said
Querida. "The solitary fasters are never personally pleasant; hermits
are the world's public admiration and private abomination. Oh, the good
world dearly loves to rub elbows with a talented sinner and patronise
him and sentimentalise over him--one whose miracles don't hurt their
eyes enough to blind them to the pleasant discovery that his halo is
tarnished in spots and needs polishing, and that there's a patch on the
seat of his carefully creased toga."
Neville laughed. Presently he said: "Until recently I've cherished
theories. One of 'em was to subordinate everything in life to the
enjoyment of a single pleasure--the pleasure of work.... I guess
experience is putting that theory on the blink."
"Surely. You might as well make an entire meal of one favourite dish.
For a day you could stand it, even like it, perhaps. After that--" he
shrugged.
"But--I'd _rather_ spend my time painting--if I could stand the diet."
"Would you? I don't know what I'd rather do. I like almost everything.
It makes me paint better to talk to a pretty woman, for example. To kiss
her inspires a masterpiece."
"Does it?" said Neville, thoughtfully.
"Of course. A week or two of motoring--riding, dancing, white flannel
idleness--all these I adore. And," tapping his carefully pinned lilac
tie--"inside of me I know that every pleasant experience, every pleasure
I offer myself, is going to make me a better painter!"
"Experience," repeated the other.
"By all means and every means--experience in pleasure, in idleness, in
love, in sorrow--but experience!--always experience, by hook or by
crook, and at any cost. That is the main idea, Neville--_my_ main
idea--like the luscious agglomeration of juicy green things which that
cow is eating; they all go to make good milk. Bah!--that's a stupid
simile," he added, reddening.
Neville laughed. Presently he pointed across the meadows.
"Is _that_ your sister's place?" asked Querida with enthusiasm,
interested and disappointed. "What a charming house!"
"That is Ashuelyn, my sister's house. Beyond is El Naúar, Cardemon's
place.... Here we are."
The small touring car stopped; the young men descended to a grassy
terrace where a few people in white flannels had gathered after
breakfast. A slender woman, small of bone and built like an undeveloped
girl, came forward, the sun shining on her thick chestnut hair.
"Hello, Lily," said Neville.
"Hello, Louis. Thank you for coming, Mr. Querida--it is exceedingly nice
of you to come--" She gave him her firm, cool hand, smiled on him with
unfeigned approval, turned and presented him to the others--Miss Aulne,
Miss Swift, Miss Annan, a Mr. Cameron, and, a moment later, to her
husband, Gordon Collis, a good-looking, deeply sun-burned young man
whose only passion, except his wife and baby, was Ashuelyn, the home of
his father.
But it was a quiet passion which bored nobody, not even his wife.
When conversation became general, with Querida as the centre around
which it eddied, Neville, who had seated himself on the gray stone
parapet near his sister, said in a low voice:
"Well, how goes it, Lily?"
"All right," she replied with boyish directness, but in the same low
tone. "Mother and father have spent a week with us. You saw them in
town?"
"Of course. I'll run up to Spindrift House to see them as often as I can
this summer.... How's the kid?"
"Fine. Do you want to see him?"
"Yes, I'd like to."
His sister caught his hand, jumped up, and led him into the house to the
nursery where a normal and in nowise extraordinary specimen of infancy
reposed in a cradle, pink with slumber, one thumb inserted in its mouth.
"Isn't he a wonder," murmured Neville, venturing to release the thumb.
The young mother bent over, examining her offspring in all the eloquent
silence of pride unutterable. After a little while she said: "I've got
to feed him. Go back to the others, Louis, and say I'll be down after a
while."
He sauntered back through the comfortable but modest house, glancing
absently about him on his way to the terrace, nodding to familiar faces
among the servants, stopping to inspect a sketch of his own which he had
done long ago and which his sister loved and he hated.
"Rotten," he murmured--"it has an innocence about it that is actually
more offensive than stupidity."
On the terrace Stephanie Swift came over to him:
"Do you want a single at tennis, Louis? The others are hot for
Bridge--except Gordon Collis--and he is going to dicker with a farmer
over some land he wants to buy."
Neville looked at the others:
"Do you mean to say that you people are going to sit here all hunched up
around a table on a glorious day like this?"
"We are," said Alexander Cameron, calmly breaking the seal of two fresh,
packs. "You artists have nothing to do for a living except to paint
pretty models, and when the week end comes you're in fine shape to caper
and cut up didoes. But we business men are too tired to go galumphing
over the greensward when Saturday arrives. It's a wicker chair and a
'high one,' and peaceful and improving cards for ours."
Alice Annan laughed and glanced at Querida degrees Cameron's idea was
her idea of what her brother Harry was doing for a living; but she
wasn't sure that Querida would think it either flattering or humorous.
But Jose Querida laughed, too, saying: "Quite right, Mr. Cameron. It's
only bluff with, us; we never work. Life is one continual comic opera."
"It's a cinch," murmured Cameron. "Stocks and bonds are exciting, but
_your_ business puts it all over us. Nobody would have to drive me to
business every morning if there was a pretty model in a cosey studio
awaiting me."
"Sandy, you're rather horrid," said Miss Aulne, watching him sort out
the jokers from the new packs and, with a skilful flip, send them
scaling out, across the grass, for somebody to pick up.
Cameron said: "How about this Trilby business, anyway, Miss Annan? You
have a brother in it. Is the world of art full of pretty models clad in
ballet skirts--when they wear anything? Is it all one mad, joyous
melange of high-brow conversation discreetly peppered with low-brow
revelry? Yes? No? Inform an art lover, please--as they say in the _Times
Saturday Review_."
"I don't know," said Miss Annan, laughing. "Harry never has anybody
interesting in the studio when he lets me take tea there."
Rose Aulne said: "I saw some photographs of a very beautiful girl in Sam
Ogilvy's studio--a model. What is her name, Alice?--the one Sam and
Harry are always raving over?"
"They call her Valerie, I believe."
"Yes, that's the one--Valerie West, isn't it? _Is_ it, Louis? You know
her, of course."
Neville nodded coolly.
"Introduce me," murmured Cameron, spreading a pack for cutting. "Perhaps
she'd like to see the Stock Exchange when I'm at my best."
"Is she such a beauty? Do you know her, too, Mr. Querida?" asked Rose
Aulne.
Querida laughed: "I do. Miss West is a most engaging, most amiable and
cultivated girl, and truly very beautiful."
"Oh! They _are_ sometimes educated?" asked Stephanie, surprised.
"Sometimes they are even equipped to enter almost any drawing-room in
New York. It doesn't always require the very highest equipment to do
that," he added, laughing.
"That sounds like romantic fiction," observed Alice Annan. "You are a
poet, Mr. Querida."
"Oh, it's not often a girl like Valerie West crosses our path. I admit
that. Now and then such a comet passes across our sky--or is reported. I
never before saw any except this one."
"If she's as much of a winner as all that," began Cameron with decision,
"I want to meet her immediately--"
"Mere brokers are out of it," said Alice.... "Cut, please."
Rose Aulne said: "If you painters only knew it, your stupid studio teas
would be far more interesting if you'd have a girl like this Valerie
West to pour for you ... and for us to see."
"Yes," added Alice; "but they're a vain lot. They think we are
unsophisticated enough to want to go to their old studios and be
perfectly satisfied to look at their precious pictures, and listen to
their art patter. I've told Harry that what we want is to see something
of the real studio life; and he tries to convince me that it's about as
exciting as a lawyer's life when he dictates to his stenographer."
[Illustration: "'If she's as much of a winner as all that,' began
Cameron with decision, 'I want to meet her immediately--'"]
"Is it?" asked Stephanie of Neville.
"Just about as exciting. Some few business men may smirk at their
stenographers; some few painters may behave in the same way to their
models. I fancy it's the exception to the rule in any kind of
business--isn't it, Sandy?"
"Certainly," said Cameron, hastily. "I never winked at my
stenographer--never! never! Will you deal, Mr. Querida?" he asked,
courteously.
"I should think a girl like that would be interesting to know," said
Lily Collis, who had come up behind her brother and Stephanie Swift and
stood, a hand on each of their shoulders, listening and looking on at
the card game.
"That is what I wanted to say, too," nodded Stephanie. "I'd like to meet
a really nice girl who is courageous enough, and romantic enough to pose
for artists--"
"You mean poor enough, don't you?" said Neville. "They don't do it
because it's romantic."
"It must be romantic work."
"It isn't, I assure you. It's drudgery--and sometimes torture."
Stephanie laughed: "I believe it's easy work and a gay existence full of
romance. Don't undeceive me, Louis. And I think you're selfish not to
let us meet your beautiful Valerie at tea."
"Why not?" added his sister. "I'd like to see her myself."
"Oh, Lily, you know perfectly well that oil and water don't mix," he
said with a weary shrug.
"I suppose we're the oil," remarked Rose Aulne--"horrid, smooth,
insinuating stuff. And his beautiful Valerie is the clear, crystalline,
uncontaminated fountain of inspiration."
Lily Collis dropped her hands from Stephanie's and her brother's
shoulders:
"Do ask us to tea to meet her, Louis," she coaxed.
"We've never seen a model--"
"Do you want me to exhibit a sensitive girl as a museum freak?" he
asked, impatiently.
"Don't you suppose we know how to behave toward her? Really, Louis,
you--"
"Probably you know how to behave. And I can assure you that she knows
perfectly well how to behave toward anybody. But that isn't the
question. You want to see her out of curiosity. You wouldn't make a
friend of her--or even an acquaintance. And I tell you, frankly, I don't
think it's square to her and I won't do it. Women are nuisances in
studios, anyway."
"What a charming way your brother has of explaining things," laughed
Stephanie, passing her arm through Lily's: "Shall we reveal to him that
he was seen with his Valerie at the St. Regis a week ago?"
"Why not?" he said, coolly, but inwardly exasperated. "She's as
ornamental as anybody who dines there."
"I don't do _that_ with _my_ stenographers!" called out Cameron
gleefully, cleaning up three odd in spades. "Oh, don't talk to me,
Louis! You're a gay bunch all right!--you're qualified, every one of
you, artists and models, to join the merry, merry!"
Stephanie dropped Lily's arm with a light laugh, swung her tennis bat,
tossed a ball into the sunshine, and knocked it over toward the tennis
court.
"I'll take you on if you like, Louis!" she called back over her
shoulder, then continued her swift, graceful pace, white serge skirts
swinging above her ankles, bright hair wind-blown--a lithe, full,
wholesome figure, very comforting to look at.
"Come upstairs; I'll show you where Gordon's shoes are," said his
sister.
Gordon's white shoes fitted him, also his white trousers. When he was
dressed he came out of the room and joined his sister, who was seated on
the stairs, balancing his racquet across her knees.
"Louis," she said, "how about the good taste of taking that model of
yours to the St. Regis?"
"It was perfectly good taste," he said, carelessly.
"Stephanie took it like an angel," mused his sister.
"Why shouldn't she? If there was anything queer about it, you don't
suppose I'd select the St. Regis, do you?"
"Nobody supposed there was anything queer."
"Well, then," he demanded, impatiently, "what's the row?"
"There is no row. Stephanie doesn't make what you call rows. Neither
does anybody in your immediate family. I was merely questioning the
wisdom of your public appearance--under the circumstances."
"What circumstances?"
His sister looked at him calmly:
"The circumstances of your understanding with Stephanie.... An
understanding of years, which, in her mind at least, amounts to a tacit
engagement."
"I'm glad you said that," he began, after a moment's steady thinking.
"If that is the way that Stephanie and you still regard a college
affair--"
"A--what!"
"A boy-and-girl preference which became an undergraduate romance--and
has never amounted to anything more--"
"Louis!"
"What?"
"Don't you _care_ for her?"
"Certainly; as much as I ever did--as much, as she really and actually
cares for me," he answered, defiantly. "You know perfectly well what
such affairs ever amount to--in the sentimental-ever-after line. Infant
sweethearts almost never marry. She has no more idea of it than have I.
We are fond of each other; neither of us has happened, so far, to
encounter the real thing. But as soon as the right man comes along
Stephanie will spread her wings and take flight--"
"You don't know her! Well--of all faithless wretches--your inconstancy
makes me positively ill!"
"Inconstancy! I'm not inconstant. I never saw a girl I liked better than
Stephanie. I'm not likely to. But that doesn't mean that I want to marry
her--"
"For shame!"
"Nonsense! Why do you talk about inconstancy? It's a ridiculous word.
What is constancy in love? Either an accident or a fortunate state of
mind. To promise constancy in love is promising to continue in a state
of mind over which your will has no control. It's never an honest
promise; it can be only an honest hope. Love comes and goes and no man
can stay it, and no man is its prophet. Coming unasked, sometimes
undesired, often unwelcome, it goes unbidden, without reason, without
logic, as inexorably as it came, governed by laws that no man has ever
yet understood--"
"Louis!" exclaimed his sister, bewildered; "what in the world are you
lecturing about? Why, to hear you expound the anatomy of love--"
He began to laugh, caught her hands, and kissed her:
"Little goose, that was all impromptu and horribly trite and
commonplace. Only it was new to me because I never before took the
trouble to consider it. But it's true, even if it is trite. People love
or they don't love, and a regard for ethics controls only what they do
about it."
"That's another Tupperesque truism, isn't it, dear?"
"Sure thing. Who am I to mock at the Proverbial One when I've never yet
evolved anything better?... Listen; you don't want me to marry
Stephanie, do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"No, you don't. You think you do--"
"I do, I do, Louis! She's the sweetest, finest, most generous, most
suitable--"
"Sure," he said, hastily, "she's all that except 'suitable'--and she
isn't that, and I'm not, either. For the love of Mike, Lily, let me go
on admiring her, even loving her in a perfectly harmless--"
"It _isn't_ harmless to caress a girl--"
"Why--you can't call it caressing--"
"What do you call it?"
"Nothing. We've always been on an intimate footing. She's perfectly
unembarrassed about--whatever impulsive--er--fugitive impulses--"
"You _do_ kiss her!"
"Seldom--very seldom. At moments the conditions happen accidentally
to--suggest--some slight demonstration--of a very warm friendship--"
"You positively sicken me! Do you think a nice girl is going to let a
man paw her if she doesn't consider him pledged to her?"
"I don't think anything about it. Nice girls have done madder things
than their eulogists admit. As a plain matter of fact you can't tell
what anybody nice is going to do under theoretical circumstances. And
the nicer they are the bigger the gamble--particularly if they're
endowed with brains--"
"_That's_ cynicism. You seem to be developing several streaks--"
"Polite blinking of facts never changes them. Conforming to conventional
and accepted theories never yet appealed to intelligence. I'm not going
to be dishonest with myself; that's one of the streaks I've developed.
You ask me if I love Stephanie enough to marry her, and I say I don't.
What's the good of blinking it? I don't love anybody enough to marry
'em; but I like a number of girls well enough to spoon with them."
"_That_ is disgusting!"
"No, it isn't," he said, with smiling weariness; "it's the unvarnished
truth about the average man. Why wink at it? The average man can like a
lot of girls enough to spoon and sentimentalise with them. It's the pure
accident of circumstance and environment that chooses for him the one he
marries. There are myriads of others in the world with whom, under
proper circumstances and environment, he'd have been just as
happy--often happier. Choice is a mystery, constancy a gamble,
discontent the one best bet. It isn't pleasant; it isn't nice fiction
and delightful romance; it isn't poetry or precept as it is popularly
inculcated; it's the brutal truth about the average man.... And I'm
going to find Stephanie. Have you any objection?"
"Louis--I'm terribly disappointed in you--"
"I'm disappointed, too. Until you spoke to me so plainly a few minutes
ago I never clearly understood that I couldn't marry Stephanie. When I
thought of it at all it seemed a vague and shadowy something, too far
away to be really impending--threatening--like death--"
[Illustration: "'Come on, Alice, if you're going to scrub before
luncheon.'"]
"Oh!" cried his sister in revolt. "I shall make it my business to see
that Stephanie understands you thoroughly before this goes any
farther--"
"I wish to heaven you would," he said, so heartily that his sister,
exasperated, turned her back and marched away to the nursery.
When he went out to the tennis court he found Stephanie idly batting the
balls across the net with Cameron, who, being dummy, had strolled down
to gibe at her--a pastime both enjoyed:
"Here comes your Alonzo, fair lady--lightly skipping o'er the
green--yes, yes--wearing the panties of his brother-in-law!" He fell
into an admiring attitude and contemplated Neville with a simper, his
ruddy, prematurely bald head cocked on one side:
"Oh, girls! _Ain't_ he just grand!" he exclaimed. "Honest, Stephanie,
your young man has me in the ditch with two blow-outs and the gas
afire!"
"Get out of this court," said Neville, hurling a ball at him.
"Isn't he the jealous old thing!" cried Cameron, flouncing away with an
affectation of feminine indignation. And presently the tennis balls
began to fly, and the little jets of white dust floated away on the June
breeze.
They were very evenly matched; they always had been, never asking odds
or offering handicaps in anything. It had always been so; at the traps
she could break as many clay birds as he could; she rode as well, drove
as well; their averages usually balanced. From the beginning--even as
children--it had been always give and take and no favour.
And so it was now; sets were even; it was a matter of service.
Luncheon interrupted a drawn game; Stephanie, flushed, smiling, came
around to his side of the net to join him on the way to the house:
"How do you keep up your game, Louis? Or do I never improve? It's
curious, isn't it, that we are always deadlocked."
Bare-armed, bright hair in charming disorder, she swung along beside him
with that quick, buoyant step so characteristic of a spirit ever
undaunted, saluting the others on the terrace with high-lifted racquet.
"Nobody won," she said. "Come on, Alice, if you're going to scrub before
luncheon. Thank you, Louis; I've had a splendid game--" She stretched
out a frank hand to him, going, and the tips of her fingers just brushed
his.
His sister gave him a tragic look, which he ignored, and a little later
luncheon was on and Cameron garrulous, and Querida his own gentle,
expressive, fascinating self, devotedly receptive to any woman who was
inclined to talk to him or to listen.
That evening Neville said to his sister: "There's a train at midnight; I
don't think I'll stay over--"
"Why?"
"I want to be in town early."
"Why?"
"The early light is the best."
"I thought you'd stopped painting for a while."
"I have, practically. There's one thing I keep on with, in a desultory
sort of way--"
"What is it?"
"Oh, nothing of importance--" he hesitated--"that Is, it may be
important. I can't be sure, yet."
"Will you tell me what it is?"
"Why, yes. It's a portrait--a study--"
"Of whom, dear?"
"Oh, of nobody you know--"
"Is it a portrait of Valerie West?"
"Yes," he said, carelessly.
There was a silence; in the starlight his shadowy face was not clearly
visible to his sister.
"Are you leaving just to continue that portrait?"
"Yes. I'm interested in it."
"Don't go," she said, in a low voice.
"Don't be silly," he returned shortly.
"Dear, I am not silly, but I suspect you are beginning to be. And over a
model!"
"Lily, you little idiot," he laughed, exasperated; "what in the world is
worrying you?"
"Your taking that girl to the St. Regis. It isn't like you."
"Good Lord! How many girls do you suppose I've taken to various places?"
"Not many," she said, smiling at him. "Your reputation for gallantries
is not alarming."
Ho reddened. "You're perfectly right. That sort of thing never appealed
to me."
"Then why does it appeal to you now?"
"It doesn't. Can't you understand that this girl is entirely
different--"
"Yes, I understand. And that is what worries me."
"It needn't. It's precisely like taking any girl you know and like--"
"Then let me know her--if you mean to decorate-public places with her."
They looked at one another steadily.
"Louis," she said, "this pretty Valerie is not your sister's sort, or
you wouldn't hesitate."
"I--hesitate--yes, certainly I do. It's absurd on the face of it. She's
too fine a nature to be patronised--too inexperienced in the things of
your world--too ignorant of petty conventions and formalities--too free
and fearless and confident and independent to appeal to the world you
live in."
"Isn't that a rather scornful indictment against my world, dear?"
"No. Your world is all right in its way. You and I were brought up in
it. I got out of it. There are other worlds. The one I now inhabit is
more interesting to me. It's purely a matter of personal taste, dear.
Valerie West inhabits a world that suits her."
"Has she had any choice in the matter?"
"I--yes. She's had the sense and the courage to keep out of the various
unsafe planets where electric light furnishes the principal
illumination."
"But has she had a chance for choosing a better planet than the one you
say she prefers? Your choice was free. Was hers?"
"Look here, Lily! Why on earth are you so significant about a girl you
never saw--scarcely ever heard of--"
"Dear, I have not told you everything. I _have_ heard of her--of her
charm, her beauty, her apparent innocence--yes, her audacity, her
popularity with men.... Such things are not unobserved and unreported
between your new planet and mine. Harry Annan is frankly crazy about
her, and his sister Alice is scared to death. Mr. Ogilvy, Mr. Burleson,
Clive Gail, dozens of men I know are quite mad about her.... If it was
she whom you used as model for the figures in the Byzantine decorations,
she is divine--the loveliest creature to look at! And I don't care,
Louis; I don't care a straw one way or the other except that I know you
have never bothered with the more or less Innocently irregular gaieties
which attract many men of your age and temperament. And so--when I hear
that you are frequently seen--"
"Frequently?"
"Is that St. Regis affair the only one?"
"No, of course not. But, as for my being with her frequently--"
"Well?"
He was silent for a moment, then, looking up with a laugh:
"I like her immensely. Until this moment I didn't realise how much I do
like her--how pleasant it is to be with a girl who is absolutely
fearless, clever, witty, intelligent, and unspoiled."
"Are there no girls in your own set who conform to this standard?"
"Plenty. But their very environment and conventional traditions kill
them--make them a nuisance."
"Louis!"
"That's more plain truth, which no woman likes. Will you tell me what
girl in your world, who approaches the qualitative standard set by
Valerie West, would go about by day or evening with any man except her
brother? Valerie does. What girl would be fearless enough to ignore the
cast-iron fetters of her caste? Valerie West is a law unto herself--a
law as sweet and good and excellent and as inflexible as any law made by
men to restrain women's liberty, arouse them to unhappy
self-consciousness and infect them with suspicion. Every one of you are
the terrified slaves of custom, and you know it. Most men like it. I
don't. I'm no tea drinker, no cruncher of macaroons, no gabbler at
receptions, no top-hatted haunter of weddings, no social graduate of the
Ecole Turvydrop. And these places--if I want to find companionship in
any girl of your world--must frequent. And I won't. And so there you
are."
His sister came up to him and placed her arms around his neck.
"Such--a--wrong-headed--illogical--boy," she sighed, kissing him
leisurely to punctuate her words. '"If you marry a girl you love you can
have all the roaming and unrestrained companionship you want. Did that
ever occur to you?"
"At that price," he said, laughing, "I'll do without it."
"Wrong head, handsome head! I'm in despair about you. Why in the world
cannot artists conform to the recognised customs of a perfectly pleasant
and respectable world? Don't answer me! You'll make me very unhappy....
Now go and talk to Stephanie. The child won't understand your going
to-night, but make the best of it to her."
"Good Lord, Lily! I haven't a string tied to me. It doesn't matter to
Stephanie what I do--why I go or remain. You're all wrong. Stephanie and
I understand each other."
"I'll see that she understands _you_" said his sister, sorrowfully.
He laughed and kissed her again, impatient. But why he was impatient he
himself did not know. Certainly it was not to find Stephanie, for whom
he started to look--and, on the way, glanced at his watch, determined
not to miss the train that would bring him into town in time to talk to
Valerie West over the telephone.
Passing the lighted and open windows, he saw Querida and Alice absorbed
in a tête-à-tête, ensconced in a corner of the big living room; saw
Gordon playing with Heinz, the dog--named Heinz because of the
celebrated "57 varieties" of dog in his pedigree--saw Miss Aulne at
solitaire, exchanging lively civilities with Sandy Cameron at the piano
between charming bits of a classic ballad which he was inclined to sing:
"I'd share my pottage
With you, dear, but
True love in a cottage
Is hell in a hut."
"Is that you, Stephanie?" he asked, as a dark figure, seated on the
veranda, turned a shadowy head toward him.
"Yes. Isn't this starlight magnificent? I've been up to the nursery
looking at the infant wonder--just wild to hug him; but he's asleep, and
his nurse glared at me. So I thought I'd come and look at something else
as unattainable--the stars, Louis," she added, laughing--"not you."
"Sure," he said, smiling, "I'm always obtainable. Unlike the infant upon
whom you had designs," he added, "I'm neither asleep nor will any nurse
glare at you if you care to steal a kiss from me."
"I've no inclination to transfer my instinctively maternal transports to
you," she said, serenely, "though, maternal solicitude might not be
amiss concerning you."
"Do you think I need moral supervision?"
"Not by me."
"By whom?"
"Ask me an easier one, Louis. And--I didn't _say_ you needed it at all,
did I?"
He sat beside her, silent, head lifted, examining the stars.
"I'm going back on the midnight," he remarked, casually.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, with her winning frankness.
"I'm--there's something I have to attend to in town--"
"Work?"
"It has to do with my work--indirectly--"
She glanced sideways at him, and remained for a moment curiously
observant.
"How is the work going, anyway?" she asked.
He hesitated. "I've apparently come up slap against a blank wall. It
isn't easy to explain how I feel--but I've no confidence in myself--"
"_You_! No confidence? How absurd!"
"It's true," he said a little sullenly.
"You are having a spasm of progressive development," she said, calmly.
"You take it as a child takes teething--with a squirm and a mental howl
instead of a physical yell."
He laughed. "I suppose it's something of that sort. But there's more--a
self-distrust amounting to self-disgust at moments.... Stephanie, I
_want_ to do something good--"
"You have--dozens of times."
"People say so. The world forgets what is really good--" he made a
nervous gesture--"always before us poor twentieth-century men looms the
goal guarded by the vast, austere, menacing phantoms of the Masters."
[Illustration: "'I know it is _you_. Is it?'"]
"Nobody ever won a race looking behind him," she Said, gaily; "let 'em
menace and loom!"
He laughed in a half-hearted fashion, then his head fell again slowly,
and he sat there brooding, silent.
"Louis, why are you always dissatisfied?"
"I always will be, I suppose." His discontented gaze grew more vague.
"Can you never learn to enjoy the moment?"
"It goes too quickly, and there are so many others which promise more,
and will never fulfil their promise; I know it. We painters know it when
we dare to think clearly. It is better not to think too clearly--better
to go on and pretend to expect attainment.... Stephanie, sometimes I
wish I were in an honest business--selling, buying--and could close up
shop and go home to pleasant dreams."
"Can't you?"
"No. It's eternal obsession. A painter's work is never ended. It goes on
with some after they are asleep; and then they go crazy," he added, and
laughed and laid his hand lightly and unthinkingly over hers where it
rested on the arm of her chair. And he remained unaware of her delicate
response to the contact.
The stars were clear and liquid-bright, swarming in myriads in the June
sky. A big meteor fell, leaving an incandescent arc which faded
instantly.
"I wonder what time it is," Be said.
"You mustn't miss your train, must you?"
"No." ... Suddenly it struck him that it would be one o'clock before he
could get to the studio and call up Valerie. That would be too late. He
couldn't awake her just for the pleasure of talking to her. Besides, he
was sure to see her in the morning when she came to him for her
portrait.... Yet--yet--he wanted to talk to her.... There seemed to be
no particular reason for this desire.
"I think I'll just step to the telephone a moment." He rose, and her
fingers dropped from his hand. "You don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all," she smiled. "The stars are very faithful friends. I'll be
well guarded until you come back, Louis."
What she said, for some reason, made him slightly uncomfortable. He was
thinking of her words as he called up "long distance" and waited.
Presently Central called him with a brisk "Here's your party!" And very
far away he heard her voice:
"I know it is _you_. Is it?"
"Who?"
"It is! I recognise your voice. But _which_ is it--Kelly or Louis or Mr.
Neville?"
"All three," he replied, laughing.
"But which gentleman is in the ascendant? The god-like one? Or the
conventional Mr. Neville? Or--the bad and very lovable and very human
Louis?"
"Stop talking-nonsense, Valerie. What are you doing?"
"Conversing with an abrupt gentleman called Louis Neville. I _was_
reading."
"All alone in your room?"
"Naturally. Two people _couldn't_ get into it unless one of them also
got into bed."
"You poor child! What are you reading?"
"Will you promise not to laugh?"
"Yes, I will."
"Then--I was reading the nineteenth psalm."
"It's a beauty, isn't it," he said.
"Oh, Louis, it is glorious!--I don't know what in it appeals most
thrillingly to me--the wisdom or the beauty of the verse--but I love
it."
"It is fine," he said. "... And are you there in your room all alone
this beautiful starry night, reading the psalms of old King David?"
"Yes. What are you doing? Where are you?"
"At Ashuelyn, my sister's home."
"Oh! Well, it is perfectly sweet of you to think of me and to call me
up--"
"I usually--I--well, naturally I think of you. I thought I'd just call
you up to say good night. You see my train doesn't get in until one this
morning; and of course I couldn't wake you--"
"Yes, you could. I am perfectly willing to have you wake me."
"But that would be the limit!"
"Is _that_ your limit, Louis? If it is you will never disturb my peace
of mind." He heard her laughing at the other end of the wire, delighted
with her own audacity.
He said: "Shall I call you up at one o'clock when I get into town?"
"Try it. I may awake."
"Very well then. I'll make them ring till daylight."
"Oh, they won't have to do that! I always know, about five minutes
before you call me, that you are going to."
"You uncanny little thing! You've said that before."
"It's true. I knew before you called me that you would. It's a vague
feeling--a--I don't know.... And oh, Louis, it _is_ hot in this room!
Are you cool out there in the country?"
"Yes; and I hate to be when I think of you--"
"I'm glad you are. It's one comfort, anyway. John Burleson called me up
and asked me to go to Manhattan Beach, but somehow it didn't appeal to
me.... I've rather missed you."
"Have you?"
"Really."
"Well, I'll admit I've missed you."
"Really?"
Sure thing! I wish to heaven I were in town now. We would go somewhere."
"Oh, I wish so, too."
"Isn't it the limit!"
"It is, Kelly. Can't you be a real god for a moment and come floating
into my room in a golden cloud?"
"Shall I try?"
"_Please_ do."
"All right. I'll do my god-like best. And anyway I'll call you up at
one. Good night."
"Good night."
He went back to the girl waiting for him in the starlight.
"Well," she said, smiling at his altered expression, "you certainly have
recovered your spirits."
He laughed and took her unreluctant fingers and kissed them--a boyishly
impulsive expression of the gay spirits which might have perplexed him
or worried him to account for if he had tried to analyse them. But he
didn't; he was merely conscious of a sudden inrush of high spirits--of a
warm feeling for all the world--this star-set world, so still and
sweet-scented.
"Stephanie, dear," he said, smiling, "you know perfectly well that I
think--always have thought--that there was nobody like you. You know
that, don't you?"
She laughed, but her pulses quickened a little.
"Well, then," he went on. "I take it for granted that our understanding
is as delightfully thorough as it has always been--a warm, cordial
intimacy which leaves us perfectly unembarrassed--perfectly free to
express our affection for each other without fear of being
misunderstood."
The girl lifted her blue eyes: "Of course."
"That's what I told Lily," he nodded, delighted. I told her that you and
I understood each other--that it was silly of her to suspect anything
sentimental in our comradeship; that whenever the real thing put in an
appearance and came tagging down the pike after you, you'd sink the gaff
into him--"
"The--what?"
"Rope him and paste your monogram all over him."
"I certainly will," she said, laughing. Eyes and lips and voice were
steady; but the tumult in her brain confused her.
"That is exactly what I told Lily," he said. "She seems to think that if
two people frankly enjoy each other's society they want to marry each
other. All married women are that way. Like clever decoys they take
genuine pleasure in bringing the passing string under the guns."
He laughed and kissed her pretty fingers again:
"Don't you listen to my sister. Freedom's a good thing; and people are
selfish when happy; they don't set up a racket to attract others into
their private paradise."
"Oh, Louis, that is really horrid of you. Don't you think Lily is
happy?"
"Sure--in a way. You can't have a perfectly good husband and baby, and
have the fun of being courted by other aspirants, too. Of course married
women are happy; but they give up a lot. And sometimes it slightly
irritates them to remember it when they see the unmarried innocently
frisking as they once frisked. And it's their instinct to call out 'Come
in! Matrimony's fine! You don't know what you are missing!'"
Stephanie laughed and lay back in her steamer chair, her hand abandoned
to him. And when her mirth had passed a slight sense of fatigue left her
silent, inert, staring at nothing.
When the time came to say _adieu_ he kissed her as he sometimes did,
with a smiling and impersonal tenderness--not conscious of the source of
all this happy, demonstrative, half impatient animation which seemed to
possess him in every fibre.
"Good-bye, you dear girl," he said, as the lights of the motor lit up
the drive. "I've had a bully time, and I'll see you soon again."
"Come when you can, Louis. There is no man I would rather see."
"And no girl I would rather go to," he said, warmly, scarcely thinking
what he was saying.
Their clasped hands relaxed, fell apart. He went in to take leave of
Lily and Gordon and their guests, then emerged hastily and sprang into
the car.
Overhead the June stars watched him as he sped through the fragrant
darkness. But with him, time lagged; even the train crawled as he timed
it to the ticking seconds of his opened watch.
In the city a taxi swallowed him and his haste; and it seemed as though
he would never get to his studio and to the telephone; but at last he
heard her voice--a demure, laughing little voice:
"I didn't think you'd be brute enough to do it!"
"But you said I might call you--"
"There are many things that a girl says from which she expects a man to
infer, tactfully and mercifully, the contrary."
"Did I wake you, Valerie? I'm terribly sorry--"
"If you are sorry I'll retire to my pillow--"
"I'll ring you up again!"
"Oh, if you employ threats I think I'd better listen to you. What have
you to say to me?"
"What were you doing when I rang you up?"
"I Wish I could say that I was asleep. But I can't. And if I tell the
truth I've got to flatter you. So I refuse to answer."
"You were not waiting up for--"
"Kelly! I refuse to answer! Anyway you didn't keep your word to me."
"How do you mean?"
"You promised to appear in a golden cloud!"
"Something went wrong with the Olympian machinery," he explained, "and I
was obliged to take the train.... What are you doing there, anyway?"
"Now?"
"Yes, now."
"Why, I'm sitting at the telephone in my night-dress talking to an
exceedingly inquisitive gentleman--"
"I mean were you reading more psalms?"
"No. If you must know, I was reading 'Bocaccio'"
He could hear her laughing.
"I was meaning to ask you how you'd spent the day," he began. "Haven't
you been out at all?"
"Oh, yes. I'm not under vows, Kelly."
"Where?"
"Now I wonder whether I'm expected to account for every minute when I'm
not with you? I'm beginning to believe that it's a sort of monstrous
vanity that incites you to such questions. And I'm going to inform you
that I did _not_ spend the day sitting by the window and thinking about
you."
"What _did_ you do?"
"I motored in the Park. I lunched at Woodmanston with a perfectly good
young man. I enjoyed it."
"Who was the man?"
"Sam."
"Oh," said Neville, laughing.
"You make me perfectly furious by laughing," she exclaimed. "I wish I
could tell you that I'd been to Niagara Falls with José Querida!"
"I wouldn't believe it, anyway."
"I wouldn't believe it myself, even if I had done it," she said,
naïvely. There was a pause; then:
"I'm going to retire. Good night."
"Good night, Valerie."
"Louis!"
"What?"
"You say the golden-cloud machinery isn't working?"
"It seems to have slipped a cog."
"Oh! I thought you might have mended it and that--perhaps--I had better
not leave my window open."
"That cloud is warranted to float through solid masonry."
"You alarm me, Kelly."
"I'm sorry, but the gods never announce their visits."
"I know it.... And I suppose I must sleep in a dinner gown. When one
receives a god it's a full-dress affair, isn't it?"
He laughed, not mistaking her innocent audacity.
"Unexpected Olympians must take their chances," he said. "... Are you
sleepy?"
"Fearfully."
"Then I won't keep you--"
"But I hope you won't be rude enough to dismiss me before I have a
chance to give you your _congé_!"
"You blessed child. I could stay here all night listening to you--"
"Could you? That's a temptation."
"To you, Valerie?"
"Yes--a temptation to make a splendid exit. Every girl adores being
regretted. So I'll hang up the receiver, I think.... Good night, Kelly,
dear.... Good night, Louis. _À demain!--non--pardon! à bien
tôt!--parceque il est deux heures de matin! Et--vous m'avez rendu bien
heureuse._"